Plans
by egochan
Summary: Ryou agrees to babysit Mokuba Kaiba and finds out a secret about Seto. Ryou agrees to help Seto win his love over, but what happens when Ryou realizes he made one big mistake and falls for Kaiba? He’ll get over it, right? Oh yes, Otogi is here too. rr?
1. Lobster

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yugioh. Go figure….

**Summary:** Ryou agrees to baby-sit Mokuba Kaiba and finds out a secret about Seto. Ryou agrees to help Seto win his love over, but what happens when Ryou begins to fall for the billionaire? He'll get over it, right? What's everyone else gotta say?

Oh, and for a little note, I'm calling Ryou both Bakura _and_ Ryou. Yami no Bakura isn't in this fic very much if at all.

The pairings introduced right now:  
Anzu/Yami Yuugi

The crushes introduced right now:  
Jounounchi/Ryou  
Ryou/Lobster  
Not very serious, just there for humor and plot. Yes, there's plot.

Thanks: Relinquished for beta-_checking_? Thank you!

* * *

**Chapter de First: Lobster**

Did you ever hear a song so many times it made you sick to listen to it again? Did it feel like every time you heard it you sighed and changed the station, or fidgeted until it finally ended? Well, that's really what it's like when Anzu gets on her soapbox about things. She's a good person and all, but can be very annoying at times because of her emotional tirades. Everyone likes a good, heartfelt rant once and a while, but some tended to overstay the welcome. Anzu is one of those people.

The reason I am bringing this up is that, right now, I am listening to one of these aforementioned tirades. As the lecture keeps going, I'm finding it very hard to stay awake. I remember reading about a form of torture where a prisoner was kept awake for hours with no light, no food and no rest. In fact, I think it was Asian. I wonder if that will happen if I allow Anzu to keep going. Will I just waste away as she goes on and on about whatever it was she's talking about? Will she notice as I thin out? For some reason, I doubt she'd mind.

"You understand, right, Bakura?"

I look up and nod. Maybe my lack of attention won't be too obvious. If she sees I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts I'm doomed. It's happened before. She'll tell me about how inconsiderate I am and that I'm only thinking about myself.

But I wasn't thinking about me, so that'd be a lie, right? I was thinking about her and her love of making a point through never-ending speeches. That isn't too terrible, is it?

"Wow. It's been real great to have someone who listens, Bakura" says Anzu now when I have no idea what she was talking about. "You don't know how much it means to me to get this all out and heard. I really appreciate your attention."

Is she trying to send me on a guilt trip? I sometimes wonder if Anzu can read minds. That would be frightening, as I'm sure there are some things in my head I don't want her to see. Some thoughts should be known by no-one. Some are best kept private forever.

Even more are better off left forgotten. Ask Freud.

"Well I, uh, really enjoy listening to you, Anzu…" I reply lamely. I'm fully aware this happens to be a lie, so don't start hissing and spitting in my direction. It's not like I have anything better to do than to listen to Anzu, believe me. I just have trouble turning people down. This trait screws up my life more than you could believe, but I've built around it.

"Well, it's been great talking, Bakura, believe me. Getting all this off my chest has really helped improve my mood. I'm really sorry I have to end the conversation so soon, but I can't miss the bus downtown."

I nod quietly. I can't really say I take our parting quite the same way.

"Bye," she waves and dashes outside to wait at the bus stop. I watch as the large vehicle pulls up and unloads passengers. Anzu and a few other people hurry on. I try to remember where she is going again.

Oh yes.

Her and Yami no Yuugi have something set. She's going to rendezvous with him at the park across town. I don't know which one picked the location, as it turns out to be a great hassle for both parties; or at least for the poor Yami. If he's late and tries to apologize, Anzu accuses him of not being considerate. If she's late and he hints on a complaint, she tells him he needs to think about others for once, that it wasn't her fault she happened to not be on time.

It's a win-win situation for Anzu. For Yami no Yuugi, it's best he just nods at all the right pauses in Anzu's basically one-sided conversation. She usually forgives people after they make an effort to worry over her. I don't think she likes to think she's being avoided. She must hate being alone sometimes. I don't.

Actually, I am alone now. It's not bad, not really. I'm still in school, but the only people around me are those with extra-curricular activities. And the only reason I'm here is Anzu wanted to talk. I don't see why she even bothers, really, she'd get pretty much the same reactions complaining to a wall. Actually, I think the wall would listen better than I ever could. Not many people talk to walls, so it might appreciate the focus on it for once. I don't know, but as I stare at the brick structure outside I wonder what it is thinking.

Then, walls don't have brains. There goes that thought bubble.

"Bakura?" a voice behind me asks uncertainty. I turn around to see some random classmate I have no clue what the name is. I blink. I wonder what it is he could want. Is he in chess club or something, ready to yell at me for not having anything to do but stare out the window?

"Yeah?" I ask.

Oh, how very thought out for me. Instead of 'Hello, is there something I could assist you with?' it's 'Yeah…?' Score one for originality. Subtract five for being incredibly lame.

"What do you want?" I add. Incredible. I sound terribly rude now. I really need to think before I talk, or just shut up. I have a horrible habit of embarrassing myself with words. If I were paid for every time I shamed my intelligence with opening my mouth, I'd have more money than Kaiba Seto.

"I mean, I uh," I try to correct my error and fail, "…yeah, what do you want?"

"Ah. So that's your name, right? Bakura?" he asks me. I nod again. So what else is new? "Great. That guy, Seto Kaiba, sent me," he says, "I've been looking all over for you."

Really? He's been looking for me? For what, may I ask? I wonder vaguely if he was sent to kill me. That would be weird, because I always though of Kaiba as a semi-decent guy and only homicidal to those he lost games to. Sure, his adopted dad was a little--strange in an abusive way, but Seto's not that bad from what I've seen. Maybe I'm just not as observant as I like to think I am.

"Why?" I ask. I'm done trying to be unique.

"This," the kid says. Unceremoniously I am given a piece of paper. It is a letter addressed to Bakura from Seto Kaiba. I stare at it quietly. The paper is card stock: more expensive than what I'd ever bother to use for an envelope. It's heavier than normal paper. Man, if this is how all Kaiba's letters are, he's just begging to get kidnapped for ransom. But, I highly doubt he wouldn't be able to defend himself in case such an event should arise, which it probably has.

I look up at the student in front of me. Why isn't he gone? What does he want now, a tip?

"Eh?" I ask at this boy's intent on staying where he is.

He looks at me in apprehension. There's a pause.

"Well, aren't you gonna open it?" he asks.

I scowl slightly (as in imperceptibly) at this. How rude!

"Of course I'm going to open it--" I start cheerily. He looks at the envelope expectantly, "--once you're gone," I finish.

It's almost funny how fast the boy's face drops. He frowns at me and walks away hunching low. Hey, it's not my problem he was raised to be nosy. He needs to change his nature or he's en route for trouble. That kid can sulk all he wants; I like my privacy.

Once I'm sure the messenger is gone, I open the fancy little sticker seal. Inside is a slip of folded paper. It's soft. I look at the surface. Oh, how posh! The paper has got to be ninety-nine percent cotton. Who purchases cotton paper? You can't even call it paper anymore; it's practically cloth.

Sorry, I tend to get upset and picky at absolutely nothing. Especially things involving Kaiba. I mean, there he is, this rich, powerful king of the financial world. But, then there's Yami no Yuugi. Yami no Yuugi, the former Pharaoh, who actually saved the world and yet now lives above a game shop with his Hikari and Hikari's Grandpa. Kaiba, who can order servants to do his homework and only goes to school because it is his duty (as he's underage), has so much more power than the person he once served in his past life. It's the most terrible role change I've ever seen.

I'll just focus on the letter now. It's best.

So, the letter. The letter is typed. I wonder how long _that_ took for Domino's greatest computer genius? Five, maybe four seconds? I still don't see why he gets to run an entire corporation whist Anzu can't wait tables at a burger joint. I guess it just proves that money talks. Kaiba's probably too smart to really need to go to school anyway. Why does he even bother? Is it just an excuse to have fan girls get together en masse just to rub against him? Somehow, with his cash inflow, I don't really think so. But then, it isn't like it was any of my business in the first place.

I open the paper finally after just staring at it stupidly for several minutes. I'm still not over the eighty-nine percent cotton icon in the paper's weave. Yes, I said weave. It's _not_ paper; it's fabric. **(A)**

'_To Ryou Bakura;'_

I wonder if I should be surprised Domino City's most promising prodigy and eligible bachelor knows my name?

'_I have arranged a meeting with you at 5:45 PM today. We will meet at the school parking lot. I have a very well paying job offer for you. You will be there. As long as I know you have this letter I won't take any excuses. It is in your best interests to appear promptly._

_Seto Kaiba'_

Uh…. How blunt.

I study the letter again. A job offer? When was I asking for money? I don't recall any financial problems recently, unless my father hasn't told me something. What is Kaiba going at?

Hold up a second while severe confusion rushes in.

Kaiba's all but threatened my life if I don't go, and I have this sinking suspicion that he's hinted on it somewhere in the notice that I haven't looked at carefully enough. Would Kaiba knock me off like that if I didn't comply?

I don't want to die young, thank you. I'm really starting to enjoy the feeling of my soul attached to my body. I also have this weird, unshakable fondness for breathing, you know? Don't ask, I know you feel the same way.

Time, I need the time!

I look at the clock. The numbers read 4:46 PM. It's telling me I have one hour to decide whether I want to live or not. I think you know just as well as I do what my course of action is. Patiently, I wait.

* * *

Thirty minutes into my final hour to live, Jounouchi breaks into the classroom.

"Bakura, there you are! I was looking all over for you!" he says loudly. I wish myself out of existence and it doesn't work.

The chess club is mortified. Who is it who dares to ruin their vital concentration with such rowdy outbursts? I see terror on a few of the faces. They know who Jounouchi is, apparently.

Why am I in the chess club meeting anyway? I can't even play chess.

"Hello, Jounouchi," I mutter quietly, embarrassed for some reason I don't really see. I can feel my face turning red. It's like I'm always ashamed of something, really. I could be in a record book for single person who blushes most frequently. Honda used to tell me that all the time. It never helped; well, unless he was _trying _to make me blush even deeper.

"Hey, I didn't know you were in chess club, Bakura," Jounouchi says, looking around at last.

I blush even more and laugh nervously. Oh, about that….

"Heh, that's cause I'm--_not--in_--chess--club--"

Jounouchi nods, confused. He doesn't ask about it though. Smart boy. He's always so great about that. I loathe those who pry into other peoples' business. I wonder if I got Jounouchi a birthday present for not being nosy?

"Come on, Bakura. Lets go, I'm finding myself getting more and more bored by the second," he says. I find suddenly I don't want to leave. My meeting with Kaiba is in less than thirty minutes. I have no time to go and come back. I have to be here to walk down to the parking lot. Jounouchi doesn't know this. It's in his best interest that he doesn't try to find out. Or at least it's in my own. Jounouchi has a severe dislike for Kaiba.

"Come on, Bakura," Jounouchi eggs me on. He looks tense, like he really wants to get out of here.

I shake my head. My blush is now officially gone. I find I'm proud of this.

"I'm staying right here, Jounouchi," I reply to him stoutly. I wonder how long this sudden confidence burst will last?

"No you're not," he informs me. This is the only warning I get as he picks me up and hoists me over his shoulder.

"JOUNOUCHI!" I scream. I kick and thrash. What in the world is his problem?

The chess club watches silently as I am carried from the room against my will. Judging how Jounouchi has bullied them in the past, they silently accept that I'm doomed. I despise them for it. Throughout my protest, Jounouchi still manages to open the door, exit, and close it behind him. I'm being carried like a baby.

"Jounouchi, you're embarrassing me!" I wail into his shoulder blades. I can't say I really appreciate my wonderful vantage point of his back rear. My face most likely resembles a large round scarlet vegetable of sorts now. Maybe a tomato. But then, that's probably a fruit. I don't know, you decide. You're not the one being kidnapped by an insane mutation that's taken control of someone you though was your friend. I wonder how long Jounouchi has been hiding this? A few days? A few weeks? His entire life?

"Bakura," he grunts as he makes for the main hall. My face pales as I imagine him carrying me in there. I'm still blushing, though, so the result is a botch mosaic of red, pink, and white.

"Uh?" I grunt as I continue frantically pulling his hair out, ten to twenty strands a second.

"Unless you want me to drop you onto the hard tile, I suggest you stop struggling," he says, letting go. I begin to plummet head first to the floor and grab at his throat. He readjusts his grip and keeps going.

"You're not taking me through the lobby!" I gasp as we approached the door.

"That I am," he says as he opens the door. I choke back a scream, a shriek of wrath and terror.

"Touché, I give, put me down now!" I beg. This new mutation of the boy I once called a friend ignores me.

I know what I want to do now; what I'm _going_ to do now. I'm going to kill him. I think I'll lock him up in a gas chamber or a bottomless pit. Maybe I could drown him in Mariana's Trench, or strand him on a deserted isle. No, I saw _Castaway_, so scratch the island. Maybe he wants to go on a trip? How about Mt. Everest? The Grand Canyon? The Gobi Desert?

I am silent as we enter the lobby. The desk woman looks up at us. I can't see her, but I can hear the soft, feminine murmur of surprise. I'm hanging limply now; I know Jounouchi isn't going to let me go. As he heads for the door I can finally see the woman. I wave politely and continue to dangle.

"Can you put me down yet?" I ask Jounouchi, as we exit the school.

"No," he says with a smirk.

I think he hates me. I wonder if he knows I was going to meet Kaiba? That would mean he could read minds. Funny, Anzu does that too. Maybe they could teach it to the ungifted in that field. It really seems everyone knows that little trick but me. I feel I'm at a tragic disadvantage.

"Where do you want to go?" Jounouchi asks. I look at him (well; I look at the back of his head) startled.

"How about off your shoulders?" I suggest hopefully.

"I know, the park!" he exclaims, ignoring me. I sigh and wince. There is a cramp forming in my back. This position can't be good for me.

I'm wondering what I did in my past life to deserve this.

_(I know the answer to that.)_

I furrow my brow and look down at the Sennen Ring dangling from my neck, swaying with each step Jounouchi takes.

I blush at the strange looks we're getting now. I can't believe Jounouchi's doing this. I think I'm going to die from the strain of having all the people watching, not looking away. I wouldn't be surprised if a reporter's van pulls up and takes pictures to put us on the world news.

_Earlier today it was proven that the lunch food in Domino High and many others throughout the country is indeed drugged. The pathogen in the strange and questionably edible concoctions fed to the children has been proved to invoke random phases of insanity. Local physicians have been alerted and a vaccine is underway._

Yeah, that's it.

"You know," I say as we enter the grassy clearing of the city park, "it's a good thing I look like a girl and all. Otherwise someone might, you know, think we're gay or something…."

Jounouchi starts to laugh and for a few seconds I'm terrified he'll drop me. I cling to his shoulders. If I fall, I'm going head first into a concrete walkway.

I'm very annoyed at Jounouchi. Why can't he let me down? I think he's made his point, walking halfway across Domino City with me thrown over him like a living sack of potatoes.

I regretfully decide that now it's time to wage war. This might get ugly.

For those who don't know, Jounouchi is gay at the current time. I know, I am too all the time, but I don't ask other people out. One of Jounouchi's weaknesses is his major crushes. Actually, I think he likes both sexes. He used to like Yuugi a lot and then Mai. Currently though, I'm the item of affection, so he's gay for now. I don't know how it happened, but I think I'm ready to use this to my advantage. I don't use many things to my advantage, but now is a desperate time; calling for methods I would otherwise not enlist.

"Jounouchi," I cry softly. "Please let me down, please."

I have one amazing talent I know of, besides blushing. This other gift is I can cry on cue, whenever I want. I'm ready to invoke this power now. This isn't any of that Sennen Ring magic. No this real, from whatever gods there are. I was born with the gift to cry. (I was born weak and destined to be a pathetic whiner, it's probably all predetermined with my luck.)

"Bakura…" he starts, but I allow a few tears to fall on his back. He freezes and lifts his hands to lower me down gently.

By then, I've dramatized the whole thing. I'm flooding torrents like the Hover Dam here. I'll start hyperventilating any second now. Hey, I don't know the meaning of over doing it. Jounouchi is so kind-hearted anyway that he won't notice, especially since he is currently convinced he is in love with me.

The second my feet touch the ground I'm off, tears forgotten. I run like mad down the concrete pathway. I can't help but laugh as Jounouchi yells at me from behind. I look over my shoulder to see him tailing me. It's not the best thing I could have done. In fact, I think it's the worst mistake I've ever made, but I go for it. I run onto the grass and into the nicely spaced trees. Dumb plan. I trip over a root and Jounouchi takes a flying leap after me. I'm pinned down in mere seconds. I forgot there was a reason to why Jounouchi signed up for track and field.

"Bakura? Jounouchi?" a voice calls far away.

Hello, God, Allah, Ra? Has Jounouchi killed us?

Suddenly Yami no Yuugi is there and I rejoice inwardly as Jounouchi climbs off. I dust the dirt off my clothes and wonder if someone's missing. Wasn't Yami no Yuugi supposed to be with—?

"Hello, guys!" Anzu greets perkily, if that's even a word.

I'm too young for this.

_(I'm too old for this.)_

I sigh and shake my head. Anzu watches me, offended. Her expression tells me I must apologize or die.

"Oh, sorry, Anzu, it's the spirit in my ring."

She nods stiffly, but it's very obvious she doubts my excuse. So, when did I care about her opinion? I don't mean to sound cynical, but you try to think nice of people after being publicly humiliated and cramped up by hanging over a "friend's" shoulder for the past half hour or so. I have completely missed Kaiba's invitation and I kind of wanted to see him, even if now it's just to tick Jounouchi off.

I guess I wanted to see if Kaiba was human; if I'd learn something by him actually directing conversation in my own attention span.

Like, is he human enough to not want me dead now?

Now I'm living on borrowed time. What, so I'm terrified of Kaiba Seto? Believe me, you'd be to if you meant him. His rich and powerful and he damn well knows it. He can get away with pretty much anything, arranging my murder at the very least. From what I get to see of him (which isn't much, since he's usually dealing with Yuugi's other mind and nicely avoiding me), Kaiba is arrogant and almost entirely self-serving, save for his own brother, Mokuba. And unlike everyone else I know, I've seen almost nothing of the younger heir to the Kaiba Corp. throne.

I'm wondering what Kaiba will do to me. It's almost like wondering over all the things fate can do. That's how much influence Kaiba has over Domino. He's got computer systems everywhere. I still can't believe he was allowed to take over the _entire city_ for his colorful Battle City Tournament. He might as well elect himself the official mayor, since no-one seems to question his authority.

And he's still in school.

I'm sorry, but that kind of unnerves me a bit. He's roughly my age and has this entire place under his thumb. How can we let him get away with it? If I had that kind of strength, I can assure you we'd all be doomed. When given a control board, there's a ninety-five percent chance I'll find the one trigger that activates the self-destruct mechanism.

"_And whatever you do, Bakura, don't press the…"_

_BOOM!!  
_Insert screams of terror and anguish here.  
"…_.red button."  
_"_Oops. Heh. Sorry…?"_

Yeah, it's kinda like that.

Hey, it's not like Kaiba's doing a bad job. I mean, the whole city isn't underwater or just a gaping hole in the ground (not yet). It's just not right that a _fellow classmate_ can decide whether or not we get to have sixth period algebra tomorrow by hacking into the school board's main computer system. **(B)**

And I turned him down. I skipped his arranged meeting.

_You will be there. As long as I know you have this letter I won't take any excuses. It is in your best interests to appear promptly._

Goodbye fair world! I'm doomed, for sure.

* * *

As I enter the seafood restaurant, I can only stare at the floor. I have coupons for a meal. They expire today so my father gave them to me to go eat. I still don't see why we can't just let them burn in a grate; I'm not all that crazy about seafood. I'll eat it, but I get really tired of shrimp and rice and--I think it's called salmon?--Whatever; just don't open tuna within smelling distance from me. Cat food, that stuff. I could never stomach it fresh from the can or packet. **(C)**

To the envy of many people, I get prime real estate by the lobster bin. I don't see why they are so angry with me; I'm sitting by a pool of doomed marine life. Not quite unlike myself. The doomed part, sorry, I'm not an aquatic mammal.

I look around nervously. There is a tapping sound next to me. I turn in terror to see one of the lobsters _watching_ me. I swear, it beat on the glass to get me to look at it. Now it's waving its little antenna at me mockingly.

Seriously, it is. I'm almost afraid.

And I wish I were lying, but I'm not. It's the most foul, awful thing I've ever seen. Lobsters are giant aquatic insects that people actually eat. They are ugly even when cooked. And now the crustacean in the tank is tapping the glass and scratching its spidery legs against it in a rather threatening gesture. I'm worried. I pray it doesn't break out. How strong are those bands on it claws?

"Sir," a waiter asks. I turn from the traumatizing sea demons to the tall man with the serving tray.

"Yes?" I ask him. I try to look as normal as my fear of the lobster besides me isn't.

"Do you mind if we sit a party with you for the night? The other tables by the lobster tank are filled and our new guest strongly desires a set within range," he asks. His tone doesn't sound like I have a choice.

Actually, I do mind, but I didn't really pay to come here, I had coupons. Maybe that puts me at a disadvantage. I nod for the okay. The waiter does some demented half bow and leaves. Within minutes my tablemate arrives.

"Oh, cool!"

A little boy, about as tall as Yuugi, rushes up next to me and sticks his face against the tank so fast I'm surprised he didn't just slam into the glass while he was at it. His dark blue eyes fill with awe at the hideous creatures. The lobster near me waves his antenna smugly. I place my hand on the glass to block out the insult. I feel the claws slam against the glass where my palm rests, hard. I feel a little creeped out, but also superior. The lobster ultimately can't do anything to me. I could get up and walk away and he'd still be in his cage, cat food.

"Look at that lobster. It looks like he's trying to get your attention," the boy pipes up. It takes me a few seconds to realize he's talking to me.

"Um, yes, he does, doesn't he?" I reply. Indeed, that is just what the Hell Crustacean was doing. I glared at the lobster that just doesn't know when to stop.

"We're gonna eat one and I get to choose," the boy says, bragging a little.

"You don't say…" I look at the lobster next to me and cock an eyebrow threateningly. The tapping ceases. Victory to superior mammalian brain.

"Yep, we're here 'cause I wanted seafood tonight. My big brother will do anything for me," the boy brags further. I feel sorry for the kid. He needs to be saved from spoiling soon, or it will all go downhill for him and that poor, poor brother.

I nod, certain the lobster is staring me down now. "So if you wanted to taste what real Florida orange juice is like, he'd drag you to the Southeastern United States?"

"Yep, probably, when he had time."

"Ah, time," I muse, "Does he ever not have time?"

"Yeah, but I make him go anyway."

"You force him to do these things for you?" I ask, imagining who this pushover brother could be. I pictured him hunched over and prematurely balding.

The boy looks down almost guiltily. "Yeah, I do," he says, but quickly defends himself. "But, he doesn't mind. Not really. It's important to him."

"Do you ever thank him?" I ask. Yes, I know I'm being cruel, Mr. Lobster, but I'm going to improve the life of this kid's brother so stop pointing your claws at _me_.

"Yeah."

"All the time?"

"No."

Bingo! That's what I was looking for.

"Why, he's doing these things to make you happy. You need to let him know you appreciate his efforts _all_ the time. Make sure he can see you care. Is your brother only special to you because of his presents?"

"No!" the boy shoots back defensively.

"Does he know?"

"Yes," he snaps smartly. I think I hit a nerve.

"Are you sure?"

The boy looks at the ground, worried.

"Don't worry," I encourage him comfortingly, "When your brother comes back, let him know real nice."

The boy nods enthusiastically and turns happily to the lobsters again.

"It looks that lobster is mad at you," he says, pointing to my nemesis. The kid's observant.

"I know," I grumble slightly, casting a wrathful glance at the crustacean.

"Bakura," a voice comes behind me. If I found the momentum to jump right at that word, I'd be crashing quite ungracefully into the moon right now.

I know some divine power must really hate me. I mean, really, _really_ hate me.

"Here you are Mr. Kaiba, right next to the lobster tank like you requested."

"Thank you," Kaiba replies. There is not one tone of thanks in his deep, cold voice. Everything it says sounds like 'Bakura Ryou, you're going to die.'

"BIG BROTHER!" the boy, who I have been terrifying, shouts in joy. He runs up and hugs the stone hard businessman like it isn't Seto Kaiba, who I'm watching. The lobster taps the glass with a sarcastic thud. Did I just try to improve the life of Seto Kaiba?

Kaiba's eyes grow soft as he watches the boy smile at him. He doesn't return either the expression or the embrace, but still obviously cares. I watch, completely freaked. Was that Seto Kaiba, the one person in Domino I feared more than anything now, or was it some clone here to take care of Mokuba?

"Thank you for bringing me here, big brother. I really like lobster even if it gives you gas." Seto's eyes flare up slightly, but Mokuba wasn't too loud. I blush and try to pretend I didn't just hear them. I swear that lobster is laughing at me. I glare at the creature again. Such an ugly animal. Such a cruel, ugly, intelligent spawn of all the devils created.

"Thank you Seto, and don't you think I don't care because I don't know what I'd do without you to watch over me," Mokuba finishes. Kaiba strokes his little brother's messy, black hair softly. I have to admit, from what I'm seeing in side-glances; it's one of the sweetest scenes I've recently observed. I always was a sentimentalist. I guess I enjoy watching others be so happy with just being, existing in the same room as someone else. I've never really felt that way since I was small and my father came home. The man seemed to light up the room miraculously and I'd find it hard to picture him gone again, on a trip. Then he'd leave and I'd be alone in the apartment with nothing but the dots on the wall.

I counted all of them after the first year and a half or so.

Twelve million, eight hundred forty-two thousand, six hundred, one and five tenths (The last dot was smeared in half) counted by me. I counted them all five times a week for seven months.

He should never have had leave like that. It messes with my head and now I think I'm wierd. I wonder what it would have been like to have a big brother to help me in my solitude? Kaiba seems such a nice person to little Mokuba.

But then, that's Kaiba, _Seto_ Kaiba. I'm blinking in shock. I think I'm going to panic. I see that damn lobster waving its legs, urging me to break. I must admit, I've reached a dire acute angle at the moment.

Gag, choke, gag.

Clean up at table nine, Seto Kaiba just killed Ryou Bakura for vomiting all over him and his little brother.

Okay, I'm officially weirded out. I'm considering jumping around the room and screaming. Hollering about lobsters and bipolar CEOs, about being forced to ride on someone's shoulder forever (what, so I'm traumatized for life) and sitting through dull, one-sided conversations. I read about a boy who somehow got the notion that eating utensils had feelings. He would try to eat his long noodles without banging his teeth against the chopsticks. Very difficult; I tried after I read it. What would it look like to all the patrons if I started ranting about crafty demon lobsters with crooked ways? About how hard it was to consume food without having your teeth scraping your eating devices? I doubt they'd be very thrilled. If those people had wanted to see a freak show, they would have gotten a popcorn dinner at the circus. **(D)**

I'll just sit here and get to know my lobster friend better. He's my only companion in this little self-made hell of mine.

So, how many diners have you driven insane? Only one? Me? Wow, tell me how this has been working for you….

And so twists the Technicolor road to insanity.

Finally the Kaiba brothers go to make their lobster selection. I stand protectively next to my tormentor. I find I've developed a demented fondness for the brute. Horribly enough, guess which lobster Mokuba wants….

I'm disgusted watching as the creature is lifted out of his prison by two strong arms. It seems the lobster's lone freedom is death. I can only observe in terror as he is lifted out of the water, legs thrashing desperately. His little black eyes spin around to me. I look away. I can't take this; my enemy is down, victim to a fate I suppose Kaiba will sentience me to as well. Broiled and steamed till I turn even redder than I've ever been.

"No, not that one!" I yell above the roar in my ears. Mokuba looks at me, surprised. Kaiba turns to me as well. I'm starting to feel very stupid. The man holding my nemesis freezes.

"Uh, nevermindme,I'lljustsitdownnow,sorry,ignoreme,thankyou…" I mutter, sitting down again. I'm going to get that lobster back, but I'm not going to make a big scene now. I owe him that much. I'm not sure what for, but I do. Perhaps I'm masochistic.

Will all those patrons stop looking at me? I'm not crazy!

Kaiba and Mokuba sit down again at the table. _My_ table. First they take my security, then my table, and now they have my lobster. Heh. But not for long, for I have a plan. That animal and me bonded in our mockery, I can't let him die.

Thank God that America's PETA hasn't found me.

"So, Bakura," Kaiba begins, fixing me with an icy glare, "It's so nice to meet you here. What luck, since you couldn't possibly make it to the school parking lot."

Is that sarcasm?

"Yeah, about that…" I mumble. I'm rudely cut off by a single look. I don't know how, but it shuts me up very fast. For some strange reason I feel like I'm in mortal danger if I sit with Kaiba any longer. I'm nervous and I feel very near ill. I can't explain it; the area is just too warm. I want to dive into the lobster tank right now. How nice would that feel, to be wet and cool?

I don't think that would stop all the side glares in my direction. I really don't think it would.

"Don't worry, I saw that little puppy drag you out of the building," he says, and I blush. He's wrong. I wasn't dragged; technically, I was carried away. But, lets stay off the niceties now, eh? Same difference, right?

Kaiba is about to start a promising lecture when the image of a lobster boiling in a pot claims my vision. I look behind him to the red, hard shell remains of a poor crustacean without a friend. My stomach churns horribly at the sight.

"Excuse me, I gotta go to the restroom," I try to excuse myself. "I need to go _now_…" I hint and tense up convincingly.

"Fine! Hurry back," he commands.

I nod and make a dash towards the restrooms. At the door to the men's room, well out of sight of both Kaiba's, I detour to the kitchens. I know what I'm looking for, animal 321. (I memorized his tag number, so what?) Quietly I slipped into the kitchen. I throw on an apron and walk casually down the aisles like I know where I'm going.

"LOBSTER NUMBER THREE TWO ONE!" I shout loudly above the roar of machinery. I can only hope I'm not too late.

"Over here getting washed," comes the expected reply. I go over to the sinks casually.

And this is the secret life of Bakura Ryou, the one you never see when people I would feel ashamed around are present. I'm really a very obsessive, single-minded kind of person. My gentle behavior is a defense mechanism. It defends me mainly from the sorry fate of being friendless.

After an embarrassingly long time searching, I find that there is a big man with gloves cleaning my lobster. I'm so happy to see him alive; I don't feel like speaking.

"Hey, babe," the guy greets me. I blink and look in the reflective machinery besides me. Damn, I look a little too female right now, but I have to get my enemy back.

"Hey, whatcha doin'?" I ask him, raising my voice to what I imagine to be a more femine pitch an intonation. I think I sound like a cheap transsexual prostitute, but apparently it works.

"Oh, just preparing one of these ugly bastards," he says with a sneer. He holds the lobster up and shakes it.

"I like lobsters," I defend and lie at the same time, "In fact, I _love_ them," I word uncharacteristically. I must save my poor lobster.

The man smirks and holds the lobster out to me. I reach out for it, but he pulls it away teasingly.

"You want it?" he asks me, taunting.

"Yeah," I reply breathless in my anger and maybe a little bit of panic. Why do I have to put up with this guy?

"Know what I want?" he questions me. Of course I do. I'm not an idiot. It spelled out in his glaze like neon lights in the desert. I know and don't hesitate once because I'm dedicated to may causes. And, once again, masochistic.

I kiss the large man right on the bristly lips. Oh, he smells like tuna. I hate tuna. I can't believe I'm doing this for a lobster. I keep the kiss going far longer than I'd ever thought I'd want to. I'm finally pulling away, gasping like a…fish, perhaps. **(E)**

If there is justice, I should die of shame right now. But, there is no justice, only irony, so I live.

"Is that all!" the man says mockingly and releases the lobster into the tub to get his hands on me. I dive around him and soon have the lobster in my hands, drenching my apron.

"Thanks," I call and make a run for it. I don't look back once, but I can hear the man calling. By his surprise at my leaving, I don't think he actually believed I wanted the lobster. I suppose it's healthy that he has such a high opinion of his attractiveness, but it's only an opinion.

Other people, waiters, and chefs run to the kitchen to see what the fuss is about, but I'm careful. I walk quickly towards the men's' room. There, I wrap the lobster in my apron, which has successfully kept my clothes dry, but now keeps the animal wet. I walk out cradling the bundle as employees rush past.

"Ma'am, you see a woman run by here with a lobster?" a random searcher asks me.

"Yes, the strangest thing really. She ran right past here and out that door. I saw her and…" but before I finish the man is off with ten others, chasing after where I supposedly escaped. I make it to the front door with relative ease and give a note to the doorman saying Ryou Bakura had food poisoning and was being rushed home by caring friends. Happily he agreed to deliver the message to table nine, by the lobster tank.

_(That is the stupidest thing you've _ever _done, yadonushi.)_

Yeah, whatever. I have a pet lobster and my Yami doesn't. Maybe he wants one though? Why the hell did I want one?

I look back on earlier where I was content to sit and let things happen against my will. I listen to Anzu when I don't want to and let notes bully me. But after Jounouchi forced me to skip an apparent death threat and I survived, I've had it. I think I'm going insane from being carried around with all that blood pooling around my brain, but still. I'm shocked. I didn't want this lobster killed and I saved it. I did something about what I wanted.

And I never wanted to go to the seafood place.

I better stop this. What if I start to like it, doing dramatic things for myself sans anyone else's consent? That would topple the world I've set up nicely. My other half gets in people's way, lays across their railroad tracks and forces them to stop the train, so I try my best not to. So, what if I stop acting like I do? What will happen to everything I consider daily life now? I like to please people; I can't be unhappy where I am.

The lobster just smacked me with his claw. I glare at him. What does he know? I just felt sorry for him; I'm not contradicting anything. I'm just trying to please him by making sure he doesn't die. No revolution from my morals and way of existing.

Why do I feel disappointed at this?

* * *

**Notes and Stuff:**

A: It's cloth! Not paper, cloth! Fabric! Can't you see? I have something against that paper which I could never afford. Why among things I can't afford does there have to be paper, too?  
B: I have sixth period Algebra. Yah. I'm original.  
C: Personally, I have nothing against seafood. But, tuna. That's stuff grosses me out. Cat food.  
D: The chopsticks thing came from a report I read about this kid who wouldn't feed with any eating utensils because he thought they had feelings. The poor kid was obsessive compulsive.  
E: Ewe, tuna! That's the sickest thing I've ever written. Immaturity lives strong.

Next chapter will be babysitting. Yay.


	2. Molasses

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yugioh.

The pairings introduced by right now:  
Anzu/Yami no Yuugi

The crushes introduced by right now:  
Jounounchi/Ryou  
Ryou/Lobster  
Not very serious, just there for humor and plot yes, there's plot

Thanks to Relinquished for beta-reading this chapter. It's saved!

* * *

**Chapter de Second: Molasses**

In the vein of starting things with questions:

Ever seen the same plot so many times that suddenly nothing was original? You'd go to a movie, read a book, or listen to a song and all of it would sound so terribly cliché? That's my world unless I do something to it. I have to risk my life jumping in front of traffic just to get the thrill of being lucky and getting out of the way in the last second. Not that I've leapt before any eighteen-wheelers in my existence, but still. The point is that my world is one boring spill of molasses. I didn't mean to get stuck in the conformity of everything, but, when it was all hectic and everywhere, I liked the look of order. Now I do all I can in my own, silent way to break these laws I clamored for.

I'm just about sick of molasses now. It's sticky and gets everywhere. I need a new life. I wonder what living in salt feels like? I'd have to ask my lobster.

And I still don't know why Seto wants to talk with me. Earlier he was complaining about how some whore ran off with his and Mokuba's lobster last night. I pretended that I had no idea what he was talking about. I had food poisoning, remember? My caring friends took me home.

I didn't know taking a lobster would cause so much chaos. Maybe I should have taken another look at the price tag on the menu.

My lobster now lives in the bathroom. I filled the tub with water and locked the door. I plan on getting him some real food and other things later, after I tell Yuugi. Yuugi's smart, he'll know what to do. That boy is a genius.

"Bakura, are you paying attention?" asks a disembodied voice ahead of me. It's the teacher. I'm tempted to say no, but judging how that might do more harm than is truly necessary, I'll keep it to myself. I'll just word my 'no' differently.

"Huh, Sorry?" I slur. Yes, so much better.

"Ryou Bakura, I'm surprised you aren't failing my class with your lack of attention! Wake up!" she snaps at me. I wince and burrow into my seat like a discovered earthworm. Any way to get back underground.

"Don't worry teach, he knows everything already," says some idiot LIAR in the back of the classroom. I recognise Otogi's voice and glare at him slightly out of the back of my head.

"You don't say…" the woman mutters, like she has a diabolical plan for me. I can only cringe and wait.

"Ryou, last night's homework: did you do it?" she snaps at me.

I consider her question. Uh, we had to memorise something by William Shakespeare. All I can recall are the words 'Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow', and I think there was another 'and tomorrow' but I'm not going to bet on it.

"Uh, I don't know, sorry," I mumble again. I'm too tired to care right now. I'm surprised I'm not failing this class as well. Trust me, Ms. Teacher Lady, you are not the only one who was shocked at my A and B report card. One of my only A+'s was in this subject actually. Wow, talk about wierd.

I'm watching you, Ms. Literature Teacher. You are looking at me angrily, but you know my grades. They aren't very bad, are they? Why mess up a good thing? Why don't you just leave poor little quiet, paranoid Ryou Bakura alone so he can think about his new lobster and how he's going to manage showers from here on out?

I force myself to look into the teacher's face. I can almost see the wheels turning around and around. She resumes her speech to the rest of the class. I'm off the hook! Yes. I'm going to swim around now and see how many more worms dangling from metal I can find.

Well, when I get around to it….

Class creeps by so very slowly. I swear that, by the time I leave here, I'll have grey hairs and a beard. Well, no, my hair is white, so why would it turn grey? I know, damn, I'll be bald! I'll be bald with a long beard and a limp. How terribly attractive.

And I'm staring at the clock.

One…two…three……………………………four--The seconds can't be that slow. Okay, whoever rigged the clock; This isn't cute nor funny! Some people like to know what time it is.

I read about a girl who used to count all sorts of things. She wasn't passing class because she never listened; just was counting, counting all the time. Well, daydreamed and counted. She had surprisingly good grades up until high school, and then it all went down hill. The girl was diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder and eventually cured.

I think.

I actually didn't bother to finish the horrible story. It made me think I was mental. The child had weird rituals that made her parents think she was insane. Every time a person swore, she'd pray for their soul. This really ticked off mom and dad. And her friends just thought her troll doll collection was strange…. **(A) **

I remember when my father was still is obsessing over almanacs. For half his life he purchased a new almanac right when it came out. The house closets still have old out dated almanacs in them. It gets even more confusing when you try to count all the _National Geographic_s the man owns.

I should probably get him checked for OCD. I wonder if it's hereditary?

Suddenly the bell rings. Freedom! I rush to the door, last, as always. I'm ready to go home now and sit around doing nothing. I find this fun sometimes. I don't mind being by myself at all.

There's someone blocking my exit. I look up at them in annoyance only to see it's Kaiba. I gulp and try to get around him. His taller, much larger body gets intentionally in my way again. How can this giant be Japanese?

Grrr…. Watch it, I'm about as life threatening as the one ant patrol. Hear me roar--or whatever sounds ants make. Oh funny, real hilarious how none of you react. Oh, don't worry about running for your lives right this second, I can wait. Go ahead; take your time.

"Sorry," I mutter, attempting to leave again. If I pretend he's not caging me in, then I can escape.

Kaiba glares at me as I try once again to get past him. I must look pretty idiotic, like a blind mouse or something. I'm too busy watching my feet to notice where I'm going. Finally he places his hand on my head, pushing me away from the exit slightly. It's like walking into a wall: I'm stuck. I guess he wants to talk now about his well paying job offer.

Living in molasses, well, sucks.

I stop walking forward as he places me on a desk. He sits across from where I am and crosses his legs. I hate it when males cross their legs. I mean, sure they're relaxed and all, but it looks…strange. (Says the gay young man who can't leave a friend behind, even if they're marine life). I never cross my legs if I can help it. I mean, did anyone else notice that about Pegasus, beside the fact that every time he stood he looked constipated? I do really hope I wasn't the only one.

Of course, I never told anyone I thought this. No one would have listened except Yuugi, but the Motou was duelling when the thought came.

"So, you had stomach poisoning, hm?" asks Kaiba. I nod slowly.

"Was this, by any chance, caused by a lobster no one ate?"

I'm paling so fast I don't think my face has enough blood circulating to feel anything or keep my brain working much longer. I feel faint. Seto Kaiba is a genius. Don't mess with a genius.

"It was obviously you who took the lobster away. You didn't want Mokuba to eat your lobster so you went and retrieved it. You disappeared the same time dinner did, Bakura. Who knows where the creature is now…" Kaiba Seto reads minds! Okay, how come everyone does that but me? I'm starting to feel very neglected. To my shock, he continues, "…probably locked up in a bathroom with a tub full of water."

I want to scream. I want to take my pen and stab it right through Kaiba's brain and, if he has one, his heart. I want to watch him die a slow and terrible death. Why is he doing this to me? Is this something he set up? Did he know I'd be at the restaurant, that I'd befriend the lobster? Did he tell Mokuba to pick my nemesis just so I'd feel entitled to save it? Was this all an elaborate scheme to blackmail me? How did he know?

Please, Father, chase the bad Kaibas from under my bed. They're scaring me.

"I know, you're probably very confused at this," Kaiba remarks with a slight sneer to his tone. I want to run to a corner and cry, rocking back and forth, back and forth. I'm severely past confused. "But I'm not going to beat you up, I just have a job offer."

I look up at him, still unsure. Yeah, a job offer, sure…….

"I need you to baby-sit Mokuba."

My jaw drops. My whole body wants to follow suit. I look at Kaiba and I can't even blink. Mokuba has to be babysat? Aren't there servants to do this kind of thing for the Kaibas? I mean, when you have that much money….

"His last Nanny tried to kidnap him," Kaiba says, answering my question. I feel the sudden urge to ask him if he reads people's thoughts in his spare time. Instead I turn my face to a mask of concern for little Mokuba's well being.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," I murmur. Frankly I don't care, but convincing people otherwise makes them like you more. Or, well, it makes people like _me_ more.

"Why? You didn't do anything," Seto says, correcting me. I blink at him a few seconds and choke back another apology.

"So you want me to watch Mokuba?" I ask slowly.

"Well, I do believe that's what I just said, Bakura," Kaiba scoffs like I'm the most unintelligent creation of nature seen in all of recorded history. I resist the urge to slap him very, very hard.

Breathe in; breathe out. Breathe in; breathe out.

"Why?" I ask finally, as I see I'm calming down. Slapping Kaiba will only help in insuring I get to have a suddenly shorter life span.

"Why not?" Kaiba says with absolute confidence oozing from every invisible pore. He has a perfect face, actually, expect I'd never been close enough to know it before now. It somehow makes me more terrified of him.

_Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow  
__Creeps in this petty pace from day to day\  
__To the last syllable of recorded time;  
__And all our yesterdays have lighted fools  
__The way to dusty death. _**(B)**

Okay, maybe I did do my homework last night, big whoop. It wasn't there when I needed it during class. I turn my mind off when I'm asked questions. I'm an idiot and I'm on my way to dusty death like all the other idiots before me.

I manage a pathetic sort of glare at Kaiba after this random spurt of thought ends. 'Why not' is _never_ an acceptable answer.

"Why do you think that?" I ask him. "Sorry, but what makes you so sure I won't take little Mokuba hostage?"

"Because that's not you, Bakura. You wouldn't kill a lobster, why would you hurt Mokuba?" This is the reply. He says it like the fact is the most obvious thing in the world.

As much as I hate it, Kaiba has a point. Still, I have the power to refuse.

"Sorry, I'm not in," I reply, a little nervous but moving to get up and go. To my great and sudden alarm, Kaiba grabs my shoulder and forces me down again. I throw him one of my lone solider ant glares, which are about as dangerous as their namesake, and sit down.

"Okay, let me hear that one more time, but look at me when you say it," Kaiba orders lightly. Surprised at what seems instant randomness, I look Kaiba in the eyes.

"I'm not—" I start, but stop. Set—Kaiba has very pretty, evil blue eyes. I've never noticed that before. Shoot, I'm lost now. Where was I? What was I saying? I know his eyes are saying something, imposing their will on me, and I'm foolish enough to try to listen to them. I can't help myself.

"I…."

Kaiba smiles. It's a small, soft smile. I can hardly see it, but I know it's there. I can't believe it, Kaiba never look so good before, so trustworthy. He is a fantastic creature and an okay guy. I can see why so many of the girls swoon over him, and suddenly, I can't help but stare. I feel I could go crazy, lose my heart and soul and still do anything for this demigod, such as sound like an idiot calling him a demigod because I'm pathetic. I'm too meek. I want just to see those fascinating eyes, portals to a complex ingenious mind I can't even read because I don't speak the language of people who's thinking makes sense. I feel inside what he eyes tell me more: Kaiba isn't really a bad guy at all, just misguided. Misinterpreted. You should agree to help him. Maybe that will make you special. Kaiba's good.

_(Yes, and I'm really Joan of Arc. …I can't believe you're falling for this.)_

I snap back to reality. Suddenly it's just Kaiba in front of me, just everyday, pissed off Kaiba who won't smile for his brother in a seafood restaurant. I scowl, Mokuba needing me for a babysitter? Hardly.

"I won't do it, now let me go, please," I reply, not even blinking. For a few seconds Kaiba looks shocked at being turned down by me looking right into his face. I can't help but feel like laughing. Did he think I'd agree? I picture the choir that sang five seconds ago at the businessman's face and the Sennen Ring's spirit running after them, riding an entire arsenal filled with dangerous tools of mass destruction and chaos.

"I'll give any reasonable amount you request each hour," Kaiba suggested instead.

I wince. I think about the lobster in the tub. _My_ tub. I'm going to have to use that thing someday.

"Just how high is reasonable going?" I ask. Jounouchi is going to literally _kill_ me.

* * *

"Are you sure you know what you're doing, Bakura?" Yuugi asks me. We're sitting next to the tub with the plump, happy lobster inside. I watch it busily flopping about now in the semi-brown water. I'm very glad I receive the him cleaner than usual or the smell would be worse.

"Yeah, it's just a lobster, Yuugi," I say as the fiend whacks me with one of his claws.

It's a love/hate relationship.

"No, babysitting Mokuba Kaiba!" he corrects more, looking down at the lobster with a grimace. Yuugi scoots away slightly in disgust.

"Yeah, he is pretty nasty looking, eh? Hey, like they say; beauty is only skin deep…" I recite as the creature attacks me again, "…but ugly goes clean to the bone."

Which is true, since the lobster is a crustacean. He has an exoskeleton like insects. The ugly legs that scrap my tub _are_ bone.

"Ugly? Mokuba or the lobster?" Yuugi jokes. I'm too distracted by the lobster smacking me with his bound claw to notice. I push it back into the water, cringing when my fingers get wet.

"If you don't like the thing, why did you French a cook to get it?" Yuugi asks. Always the hard questions with him. Can't Yuugi just not pay attention for once?

Oh wait; he's failing the grade…. Okay, well that's because he's listening to too many other things. Hey, Einstein dropped out before high school, so maybe there's hope. If he cared about schoolwork as much as he does his friends, he'd be more gifted than Kaiba. I mean, look what that kind of devotion does for his duel monster skills. He always beats Kaiba there. In school, no so much.

_Who's Yuugi duelling now? Seto Kaiba? Sit back everyone, this match is set. How many bet on Yuugi? _

Insert me-me-me chants.

_Who bets on Kaiba? _

Insert silence.

"Look," Yuugi says, "I'll go to the pet store with you, okay? I'll help you pay for lobster food, but I don't think it needs a cage. How different is this tub from its old glass tank? Keep it here and use the other bathroom, naturally. Just get a filter and some monitors and he's set."

I nod. That makes sense. Why is Yuugi always so reasonable? I've heard of him being called a chump before, and all sorts of things because of his generosity and kindness. He falls into traps a lot, but he always pulls back out eventually. Of course, that giving the rare hunter the Sennen Puzzle incident was just embarrassing.

But hey, I kidnapped a lobster, so maybe I shouldn't be pointing fingers.

I smack the said lobster back as he tries to climb up my leg.

"You're not coming," I scowl, pushing the lobster into the water. Yugi is watching me, alarmed that I talk to the new pet too.

"So…lets go!" I say. I smile optimistically..

* * *

The pet store is huge. I've never been to the place before, because I generally dislike animals (and I saved a lobster?). Yuugi apparently doesn't know what to do either, by the wonderful look of awe and confusion on his face. A crazy bird next to us starts squawking at me. I glare at it. Why must all the world's creatures mock me? What do they think I'll do, save them?

I _know_ the lobster has something to do with this.

"Uh, sir," Yuugi flags down a shop worker. The man stops and turns to him.

"How may I help you?" he says and beams brightly with a wide, sickening smile.

Ahh, the teeth, they blind me! How you get such pearly whites? It's almost gross how much chemicals he must use there. How can you help us; he's asked now? You can point me to the bathroom, as I feel the strongest desire to throw up right about now.

"Do you happen to carry lobster food, here?" Yuugi asks. I wander off to the fish aisle; Yug'll take care of the lobster bit.

"See, the guy said lots of people own lobsters!" I say almost smugly as Yuugi and I walk home, me carrying the food.

"Yeah, little kids who's parent foolishly take them to seafood restaurants! Tiny children who just can't eat the lobster because it's their 'friend', Bakura. These are the kids who cry when their moms kill cockroaches. I expected more from you than that." Yuugi scowls. He's just mad because he had to spend thirty minutes looking for me in the kennel area. I was trying to find a puppy that didn't look kinda like Jounouchi.

We finally reach the home. Yuugi waves and goes on to the game shop. I don't see why he's got to leave now. I'm babysitting Mokuba Kaiba today and I'm not to sure about why I'm doing it.

Oh yes, the money and my paranoid fear that Kaiba is homicidal.

Quickly I walk to the bathroom. The lobster greets me with a wave of his antenna. Slowly I open the bag of food and throw some at him. I'm assuming he knows what to do with it. He lifts his claw in farewell as I exit and close the door.

Now, I'm really sorry to all of you if I've sounded a bit cynical lately. What with facing concern and all that mess, wishing death to land on certain people? I don't mean to, it's just I don't get out much; I don't know very many people. Ergo, I'm easily annoyed at everything but no-one is ever allowed to know. I told you, my world is molasses, it's not like nothing ever changes, it's just that it goes……. by……. so……. slowly……. But, of course, I'm the perfect saint when it comes to other people. Nobody realises just how sadistic and/or insane my thoughts are till I go and do something random.

Like 'adopt' a lobster.

I can hardly hear my nemesis splashing after his meal. Does he even realise what I've done for him, or was it just nothing? Is that creature really as smart as I make him out to be? Or are all his witty motions just figures of my imagination? Is he really gesturing at me with his claws? Was that bird in the pet shop actually mocking me with its noises?

Do chopsticks have feelings?

_A television war between the cynics and the saints; flip the dial and that's whose side you're on. _**(C)**

Sorry, I'm just thinking here. There a thin line separating cynical and saint for me. The same kind of thin line that separates insanity and semi-normalness. It's like I'm walking on a platform between the two. Life throws stuff at me and I'm forced onto one side for a while. Someday there will be a wall sundering one side from me forever. I sort of hope I'm not stuck in the area of madness when that happens.

There's a knock on the door and I turn to it. I look out the window nervously. It's one of Kaiba's suits out there. He's to escort me to the mansion.

Oh, I can't wait.

_Young man, is that sarcasm I hear in your tone?  
__Sir, no sir, that is not sarcasm you hear, sir.  
__No sarcasm?  
__Sir, no, sir, no sarcasm, zero sarcasm, sir!  
__Fine, then you and your saintly airs get to scrub the urinals!_

* * *

The Kaiba mansion is, uh, big? As the car pulls up, I am certain I'm the only person in Yugi's group of friends who's seen past the large iron gates. I'm wondering again why Kaiba even bothers with school. He's got it set at this place; servants everywhere! As I step onto the porch, I'm scared to even breathe in case my presence might unpurify the extravagant air. A tall man leads me inside silently and I have to take a breath, least I kill myself with lack of oxygen.

"Bakura," Kaiba greets me with his usual hard nod, standing with Mokuba a slight distance away.

"Hi, Bakura!" Mokuba exclaims, jumping up and down slightly like an energetic hummingbird. Hummingbirds die in their sleep because they overwork themselves. Their little bodies don't get enough power to wake them up and the birds just pass away from lack of extra energy once their tiny hearts fail. I do hope Mokuba doesn't pass away while he takes a nap. That wouldn't be good for me. **(D)**

"Hello, Mokuba," I greet him, wondering if he was exerting too much energy, if he needed food to make sure he didn't die in his sleep. I don't even notice Kaiba's gone till Mokuba starts running off to who knows where. I hurry after him.

Amazingly, I'm suddenly in the dinning room. It's empty of food, but Mokuba is sitting at the table smugly. He motions to the seat across from him. I sit down there. It's too quiet in here.

"We get to eat anything reasonable," Mokuba tells me. I nod. Did he read my mind about the hummingbird thing? It's kind of sad, he's like ten and knows my thoughts, like his brother; like Anzu and everyone else I know but me.

"You don't say?" I reply, looking around. The place is huge. And this is only the dinning room.

_ICHI: What happened to Bakura?  
__NI: He went into the Kaiba mansion, got lost, and hasn't come out since.  
__ICHI: He should have brought a compass and a map. They sell those at the door._

I don't like this place very much. It's too…immense. Hardy har, har; yes, I'd rather live in a cell, a hole in the ground. Sure…. To bad I'm more than a little hysterical in tight spaces.

Before I know it, it's lunch. Food seems to suddenly just come to exist before me. I glare at it lightly. Rice and fish. Uh, great…. Mokuba is chomping down, all manners tossed aside. I watch him, slightly disgusted. This is high class eating? This cat food? I watch as the boy's mouth slips and he bits down on the china of his spoon. While he doesn't even notice, I am mortified. What did the spoon think about such disrespect? Why did Mokuba have a spoon anyway? Was he just too lazy for chopsticks?

I take my two pretty little carved eating utensils and presume to stabbing at my rice and fish. Hey, if Mokuba is throwing manners and superstition out the window, then I think I will too. He seems well off enough without it. I'm going to keep disrespecting the meal until he notices. Stabbing with chopsticks is a very rude, uncivilised thing to do.

I can't stand attacking my fish. I stop. I start arranging my meal. The food is so unorganised I can't eat till I establish some order to it. Don't ask, it's a thing I do when I'm stressed. I can be hungry, but I will not chew a bite till I know I've done the best I can to fix the chaos. Mokuba now inhales long noodles while I'm straightening my rice.

"Are you gonna eat, Bakura?" Mokuba asks me. I can barely shake my head once before it's gone, my food that is. I push my rice towards the boy and he consumes it rapidly. I watch on awe.

Suddenly the plates are gone and in their places are dishes of fruit and puddings. I watch in horror as Mokuba grabs a bowl of plan rice and dumps over it a load of sugary fruit cocktail in syrup. I'm ready to throw up. How can a person eat whipped cream with rice? My father _never_ gave plain rice for dessert. It's not right. I'd rather watch the Kaiba eat tuna with rye bread and powdered sugar.

If I don't run to the restroom and toss up all my internal organs first; I'm asking Kaiba for a raise. This isn't baby-sitting; this is cruel and unusual punishment.

Well, I don't have to worry about Mokuba's energy level. I wonder if he likes chocolate cake with soy sauce? I wouldn't imagine anything less of him now. It's disgusting.

"Did you eat before you came?" Mokuba asks me since I don't touch anything.

"Yes, I'm sorry," I lie.

"What did you eat?" his asks, oblivious to what I could have eaten that distracted me from his meal.

"Molasses," I inform him. Help, I've eaten my way out of the molasses spill and I can't get back in! I'm gong to die in this parallel universe, the Mansion de Kaiba. Can anyone save me? Tune in next week for the excitingly dull conclusion.

Mokuba looks at me confused. Why would someone eat molasses straight from the jar? Why don't they pour it all over their breakfast rice!

"Excuse me," I apologize, and make to leave. Maybe he won't get the picture.

"Don't go," Mokuba orders. I hear a hint of Kaiba in his tone, but keep walking. I crash into the door as I lazily try to push it open. The guard on the other side chuckles.

I turn to see Mokuba glaring at me. Now, on different circumstances, I would have found the look quite hilarious, but now was not so. He's pointing at my seat. Slowly I walk back and sit down, trying not to glare too hard at the child in power.

"Lets eat!" He's grabbed some rice and I watch terrified as he reaches for diced peaches and maple syrup.

Now my family used to be one of those big groups that lived in one area, met every night for dinner and sat at large tables. It was like this until I turned six and my father started travelling a lot. We had all these old traditions for births and such that dated back to the ancient days. Like most other families, this fell apart with the modern age. I was very young then and hardly remember anything of those times. This influenced my father's meal making though, which is why I can't stand Mokuba's taste. Rice isn't a dessert. Fruit and cakes are dessert.

"Eat," he commands, pushing the inedible concoction towards me. I look at the mass warily and close my mouth. Mokuba ignores this and hands me chopsticks.

"Eat, or I'll get my people to make you," he threatens. I'm surprised how much like Kaiba he sounds. I grab the eating tools and watch my meal one more time.

I close my eyes and rudely shovel a glob of the garbage into my mouth. I gag almost instantly. I splutter into my dish, but somehow manage to keep the food in my mouth. I don't like it. I'll never imagine maple syrup the same way again.

I swallow against my will and open my watering eyes. Mokuba is watching me with surprise. I admit, it didn't taste lethal, but still, I'm not used to that type of food.

"Are you sick?" Mokuba asks me in annoyance.

"Now I am," I snap, trying not to throw up. So what? I'm not lying.

"Hey! Don't talk back to me!"

"I'm you're babysitter!" I snap back before I can choke it down.

"Get out of this house, I don't like you!" he commands. I stare at him in shock. Mokuba isn't much under pressure and authority.

Before I can reply, I'm hoisted off the ground by two large suits with shades. I struggle, but they aren't releasing me. Mokuba is ordering them to take me outside. I can only watch the rooms pass by as I'm carried out the front door and dumped onto the lawn. I run up at the door again, but it's locked. The gate guard observes my efforts silently.

I look around the trees and grass. There's a tall fence around the property that keeps me in and other people out. I'm trapped.

This is the closest to Hell on Earth I've ever been.

I want to get back at something now, but I don't know how. I run up to the gate guard.

"Let me out, please," I command breathlessly. He just stares silently at the road outside. Angrily I reach to touch him. A strong hand grabs my face and knocks me backwards. I lie still on the ground for a few seconds and start to laugh.

Look at me, Mokuba Kaiba's baby-sitter laying in the middle of the lawn while my charge dines inside on sugar coated, fruit filled, rice balls. Yes, I'm paid for this, you know. Hahaha, no I'm not insane, but if I don't get home in time, my pet lobster will starve. Yes, it's a crustacean, you know. He hates me and I hate him, but he's my favourite pet. He's my only pet, actually.

I wonder what Kaiba will think when he comes home with me waiting here on the grass? Will I not get paid? Will he finally arrange my murder? I could probably soak the blood up with all those cotton papers he has. (It's fabric.)

Ha, here man tries to make clothes from paper and paper from clothes. Role reverses here, like Kaiba and Yami Yuugi. Ironic.

I closed my eyes and continue to grin. I wonder what the guard thinks? Maybe that I'm mental most likely. Well, that's fine.

* * *

I don't like free money. My stupid sense of honesty always turns down unearned cash. It's not like there was much to buy anyway. Who really has to worry about spending money too fast in a molasses world? Currency drips very slowly through my sticky hands. There isn't much about it - that's how my life is. I see I may need to change my views soon, though, as I'm breaking from the thick, sugary sweetness of my former living. Why the hell did I have to take that demon lobster?

"I was thrown out of the house, how come you're paying me, Kaiba?" I ask, as the man hands me the money.

"Because you were here all day," he says like this is was a great thing to do.

"But I didn't _do_ anything!" I remind him softly with some frustration. Kaiba just pulled up and I greeted him from the steps. It was already dark outside and he hadn't even asked why I was there and not inside with Mokuba. I have a suspicion that Mokuba does this to his watchers a lot.

"Yes, you did enough," he tells me.

I'm lost. All I did was lie on the lawn and sit on the steps all day. How is that enough? I only saw Mokuba for less than an hour.

"I can't take this, I didn't watch him."

Kaiba sighs at me like I'm the most foolish person he's ever meant. Hey, my family had morals before they dispersed. We ate, talked, and acted respectively! We weren't just nobodies adopted into the wealth of the financial market, giving us superiority to spread our bad habits to the upper half of the economy! My family didn't have power, but at least we were decent enough people. Now there are so many financial leaders acting so American. Mokuba's taking after them, too! I wonder how Kaiba treats his meals, his home! I think I might as well migrate to California! Since all tradition is apparently a lost cause, as is proved by the youngest Kaiba, I might as well forget it all and assimilate to everyone else in the technological war of the worlds. **(E)**

"Bakura, I'm paying you. Take it," Kaiba growls.

"Sorry, I can't," I protest politely. I'm very stubborn about honesty. What if one of Kaiba's servants tells people that Ryou Bakura came over to watch Mokuba, didn't do anything at all, and still go paid? I can see an entire conspiracy forming here. I want a good name, no matter how mental I can be at times. I don't really want the world to know my name; I just want a respectable rep whenever I go. I can't take Kaiba's money; the risk is too great.

"Drop your pride long enough to realize when someone wants to pay you back, Bakura!" Seto snaps, flailing the bills about.

"Excuse me, but, how about you do likewise long enough to realize someone will not want your money? Some people have these things called morals and they don't always consider laying down on the lawn all day worth a wage!" I snap in return. I instantly regret it, as I think Kaiba could very well have an excuse to kill me now.

To my surprise, alarm, and slight frustration, Kaiba's face drops. This is the second time I've looked him right in the face and refused. I think this confuses him a bit. Hey, I do have some will of my own, okay? I'm not going to start just falling over Kaiba and daydream about him every waking moment. God knows he has enough fan girls doing just that and more, right now.

"Just take the money, Ryou," he urges, using my first name.

I unintentionally glare at him. Ryou? He's calling me Ryou just so that I take his money, so he can win this debate? I had no idea that he'd go this low. I can't even call him a business_man_ now. He's a business…_thing_. I don't know. It must have no shame.

"Do you have any pride? Ryou? Are you serious, Kaiba? Don't call me that." I snap at him. Maybe I'm putting too much into this but I'm angry and disrespected.

He looks at me clueless. I almost want to scream. He didn't _know_ he used my name! He said my name, he knew the word and yet he didn't realize. Which is weird. How could he accidentally call me Ryou? I could never just go Seto to him without stuttering.

"Argh! You don't have to pay me! Be happy, you get to keep more of your precious money now. I just want to go home, watch TV, and talk to my lobster!" I say, sounding maybe a little more panicked than makes me proud to admit.

I'm upset now. I'm afraid I'll destroy something mentally. This solider ant is marching now up the enemy's face; I'm ready to pierce my teeth right onto his nose for a nice big red swell.

Kaiba blinks. "Did I call you Ryou?" he asks.

"Yes!" I nearly yell him. Since he's not being polite, I'll have make up for it halfway. This means I'm not all-out yelling, "Please, get over it. Call your driver and I'll go home, okay?"

Well, I said I'd make up for it halfway.

Kaiba nods and pockets the money. A few minutes later, the long car has pulled up. I hurry in and stare out the window as the driver goes around to the front.

Okay, I just turned down a lot of money. I'm not even going to tell you how much Seto offered, so don't ask. It was more than what you usually get watching triplets off Ritalin for the Emperor.

All I can do is look out the window and try to calm down. I'm counting street lamps now, as the limo heads for my apartment. There's no time to think, just count: one—two—three—four—five—six—seven—eight—nine—ten—eleven—twelve—thirteen—fourteen—fifteen—sixteen—seventeen—eighteen—nineteen—twenty—twenty-one—

Finally, I'm home again. I try grabbing the door handle just in time to hear a click. I pull back on the metal to discover what I already know. I'm locked in. I look out the window. I'm not anywhere near my apartment.

"Don't panic," a voice in the front greets. I glare at the back of their head. Why…me…? this is what happens in movies before the kidnapper binds and gags you and tosses you in the trunk.

"What?" I ask stiffly, trying to be polite though I'm not very happy. I hate and fear Kaiba so very much now. He turns around and leans through the opening between the passenger compartment and the driver's seat. He's staring back at me. There is a streetlamp behind him that only allows me a silhouette like shape of where he is. I hate that he can see me and I can't really see him.

"I want you to watch Mokuba tomorrow," he says. I'm not responsive. "Please?" Kaiba says and then shrugs to see if being almost polite will get me to agree.

I want to scream and claw his eyes out. There is a voice in the back of my mind urging me to take like the warriors of ancient lifetimes and attack Kaiba shrieking a battle cry. I can't believe he really wants me to watch Mokuba. There's got to be more to this than I see.

"Will you?" he asks again, softler this time. He's begging? It's not a unique strategy.

I know damn well what he's trying to do and I don't need to be told by my other self this time.

"Why?" I ask, my voice almost slipping to something of an angry growl and a panicked yelp. I quickly try to recover it.

Kaiba smirks. It's not a happy smirk, more a frustrated smirk that makes me feel like I have to send it away somehow. I don't know how to do this though except to agree. Well, poor Kaiba, the annoyed sound of yours get to stay, gets to stay!

"Perhaps it's to see if you can actually watch Mokuba sans getting kicked out of the house?" Kaiba suggests, annoyed.

I sigh at him. Doesn't he get it? I don't want to baby sit Mokuba again.

"I don't care if I can take care of Mokuba, Kaiba." I say. I can sense his frustration and I feel I should reconsider.

"I can sit here all night till you agree," he hints. I scowl at him like he can see it in the dark.

"You wouldn't, Kaiba. I could sue you." I remark a little too smartly.

"It's not like money could be a big loss to me, little R—owe!" I'm not letting him insult my name again. I panic in my breaking stability, leaning back and kicking Kaiba right in the face. He howls.

_(Way to go yadonushi, probably broke Kaiba's nose.)_

Oh God. Now when I refigure what just happened, I don't think that was my best plan ever. Kaiba moans again and falls back slightly. I hear a click within my terror. Quickly I throw open the door and run. The billionaire accidentally unlocked the car. Maybe it was a better plan than I thought.

Ha, just watch this blow up in my face. The plans where I run away never work out.

I can hear Kaiba jump out behind me and dash in my direction. I remember Jounouchi running after me and know I'm doomed. Kaiba is _a lot_ better than Jounouchi in shape and happens to poses greater stamina. Before I know it, the tall, raging teen has gone ahead of me and lies next to my path, grabbing my ankle with mean accuracy. I fall into the leaves and grass, biting down on my tongue painfully. Kaiba's game plan of ambush was obviously better than my run and pray technique.

I think he's going to kill me now.

Kaiba grabs the back of my shirt and hair, leading me to the car like an annoyed father or officer of the law. Once he has me inside he starts the engine and continues driving to my apartment. On the way he starts to speak, his nose isn't broken, nor do I see any of blood.

Damn I'm weak.

"Why did you kick me?" he barks, annoyance in his voice.

"You insulted me," I say nervously. My mother had always taught me to make sure others respected my name, Ryou Bakura. I was the oldest son, the only son, in my family. It was very important to my mother. My father didn't care, he was like all the other people nowadays. To him, everything was superstition and tradition. Not so on my mother's side.

And I was right in between this. I'd always been torn between them both. Who knew what I believed? I didn't.

Though I'd always liked my father a bit better. Maybe that's why I lived with him?

"Bakura, you can't be serious!" Kaiba sighs. "Nobody worries about that sort of thing like you! It's pathetic to take it so personally. It's just formalities."

"Habit, sorry," I reply quietly, shamefully. Now that I think about it, what I did was kind of stupid. I mean, he hadn't been insulting me, really, unless some part of me was convinced that a familiar Kaiba was a joke. Everything he said made me feel like nothing and an idiot. I didn't want that voice to speak to me familiarly, like it knew me. Once I accepted it knew me, then I accept I was nothing and an idiot and anything else it said I was.

"How old is you father, anyway?" he furrows his brow and asks. He thinks I know?

"Mother's side," I correct him. Father didn't give a damn about names.

"She a nonconformist?" Kaiba asks. I frown, but I know he's right. Her family was _big_ on tradition and customs and being polite. Father was only good at traditional cooking. He used to joke about that and say it was the only reason mother had married him. I think there was more truth in this than father admitted for a long time.

I'm not going to bother telling Kaiba my mother is dead. We are not familiar and he does not need to know.

We finally reach the apartments in silence. Slowly, I walk out the door, surprised it is unlocked. Before I leave, Kaiba calls me once more. I turn to him obediently because in the end, I am all obedience.

"Please do consider watching Mokuba tomorrow. I'd," he pauses, "I'd appreciate it." He then pulls out and away. I watch confused. I'm going to have to ask Yuugi what to do now. I can't decide anything there's this voice that nonchalantly calls me Ryou and tells me I will do everything it asks, even if I don't want to.

As I reach my room, I hear my annoying pet in the tub rippling the water slightly at the sounds of me walking about. I wonder if he knew what I should decide? Too bad I don't speak lobster. He'd probably say all the same things as Kaiba anyway.

* * *

**Notes and Stuff:**

A: I got that bit from a book, "Kissing Doorknobs" by Terry Spencer Hesser. It's about a girl named Tara with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I was writing a report on OCD since I knew people with it and read that book. It was actually very funny (it's first person and humor) and I actually did finish it too (unlike Ryou in this fic).  
B: Guess what I learned in school! That bit by William Shakespeare is from _Macbeth_ (Act V, Scene v). You may have heard the rest of it (Poor Ryou didn't memorize it all). _"…The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is hear no more. It is a tale… ect… ect…"_ –See? _Macbeth_.  
C: Heh, after OCD and a quote from Shakespeare, I throw in the Goo Goo Dolls. That line is from the song "Flattop" by said music group. I like that song and it was in my head typing that. I had to put a line in there. For no reason.  
D: Bakura has such happy thoughts! Yeah… Did any of you take the ACT where they asked that question about the hummingbirds? I remembered this when I was typing. I felt so sorry for the hummingbirds dieing while they slept I almost didn't finish filing in those little bubbles in time.  
E: My grandma always gets on her soapbox about that little burst there. She cries about everyone's behavior and eating habits. I think yesterday was the record for length on one of those lectures. She's a macrobiotic and all that nice stuff. I think I based Ryou's mother and her family on my grandma.

Oh, and if anyone has a site where you can see some good Ryuuji Otogi (Duke Devlin) pics, let me know. I want to draw a picture of him later on in this fic, but I have no screen shots or anything similar. All I have is one tiny Dungeon Dice Monsters illustration from the dub that I can barely see. Thank You!


	3. Clown

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yugioh.

The pairings introduced right now:  
Anzu/Yami no Yuugi

The crushes introduced right now:  
Jounounchi/Ryou

Thanks again to Relinquished.

* * *

**Chapter de Third: Clown**

There is one thing I'm going to do before even considering going back to Kaiba's. I'm going to learn more about Mokuba. There are few people I know of who have an idea of how the kid really is. In fact, I think there's only one. This explains why I'm heading for Yuugi Motou's.

I reached the game shop in little time. I usually pass the place on the way to school and walk with everyone. I'm alone now though, and quite glad. No one knows I baby-sit Kaiba's little brother except Yuugi. I think all of them would have something to say, save Jounounchi, who hates the Kaiba. Jounounchi wouldn't talk if he knew, just kill. First Kaiba, then me. I can't say I don't worry about his opinion because of this.

"Hello Yuugi," I greet as I enter the game shop. He's sitting at the counter, talking with Otogi Ryuuji. I'm surprised to see our famous Mr. DDD inventor here, but I guess this game shop is the only really good one now since the Black Clown burned down.

"Nice to meet you too, Bakura," Otogi smarts when I failed to greet him. I frown at him a little. I don't really want to have a talk with an ego in my time of need.

"So how are you doing, what's new?" he asks, to my frustration.

"I'm here to talk to Yuugi. There's a reason I didn't bid you _buon giorno_," I scowl at him in annoyance. He's the only person I will publicly detest.

"Sorry, I don't speak Spanish," he smirks.

"Good, because it's Italian. There's yet another reason I didn't wish you _good morning_," I correct him. So what, I took a foreign language's words? Shoot me, I said good morning.

This is usually how Otogi and my conversations go. We both have different intellectual strengths and he has a habit of challenging mine. Otogi's power against me is that he's good at strategy and planning things out. This is why he is often prepared for almost anything while I'm completely washed out. This has also made him quite the superego when it comes to moments when he turns out to be the only one ready. On the other hand, there's me. I have a great memory when not being pressured by an angry Literature teacher. Everywhere I go I pick up things, words and phrases, understanding of how certain things work. Last week I read some books on Italy, including a few Italian translation pamphlets. This is an example of just how bored I get. I memorize large facts and act superior with them, not just small pieces like those annoying people who try to tell you how many times a person blinks a lifetime. I'd be the one to tell you exactly why they may blink that much or why they would blink more or less. Otogi hates this and I think he tries to plot against me in his spare time.

He needs a life.

But then, so do I.

"Yuugi," I turn to the Motou, not paying attention to the annoyed Otogi. Otogi's always annoyed. Just give him time and he'll find something.

"Yes, Bakura?" Yuugi asks, smiling. Yes, he'll know what to do.

"Can I talk to you--" I glance at Otogi, who leans forward in mocking interest at the side, "--somewhere else?"

Otogi smirks while I almost fail in resisting the impulse to rip his little die earring out.

"If it's about Mokuba Kaiba, I already know," he says.

I look at Otogi in shock. No, that wasn't what he just said; I'm imagining things here. Yuugi would never do that to me.

"Actually, Yuugi told me," Otogi remarks. Oh man, I think he just read my mind.

Why can _everyone_ do that? I think I'll go kill myself now.

"Yuugi, how could you?" I ask piteously. Yuugi blushes and grins.

"You never said it was a secret," he replies. I don't want to hurt Yuugi, but I don't want him alive a second longer either. I really need to get my priorities in order.

"How many people did you tell?" I ask as the room starts to fade from view. I'm getting dizzy now, is this suppose to happen after you watch your greatest fear topple over you? Everything is jumping out of focus, not quite unlike the feel of hopping off a merry-go-round.

Merry-go-rounds aren't merry; I dislike them greatly as they make me sick. I wonder if I'll throw up. If I do, I'm aiming the best I can for Otogi.

"Only Otogi, before you walked in," he answers.

Suddenly I can see again. The world stops spinning and I'm okay. Two thoughts keep repeating over and over: Only one new person knows about this mess, and; thank God it wasn't Jounouchi.

Otogi sneers at me again and I lift a hand to smack him lightly on the side of the head. He laughs.

"Is that your best effort?" he mocks. I growl at him angrily. To my distress, he starts to laugh even harder.

I imagine myself grabbing Yuugi's cash register pencil and attacking Otogi with it, stabbing him in the eye, ripping at his chest. I can see myself ripping his heart out and shoving it up to his face right before he dies. That is how frustrated I am at him now. I think it could happen too, if he keeps this joke up. Good thing for him I'm not a violent person.

Well, not physically.

"What do you want to talk about, Bakura?" Yuugi asks, trying to divert my attention.

I decide I'm ignoring Otogi now. It's little hard, as he all but collapses to the floor, laughing. I watch unamused as he slowly calms down. Why is he doing this to me?

"Uh, yeah…." I mutter as Otogi straightens up again. I turn to Yuugi.

Lets just pretend Otogi wasn't born.

"Should I baby-sit Mokuba later on tod—"

"Yes." Otogi rudely interrupts me. I sigh, roll my eyes, and continue. Remember, Otogi was never born.

"If you want to, Bakura," Yuugi answers.

"But I don't know if I want to, after what happened yesterday," I say. The I sigh. I try to look as forlorn and torn up about this as I can.

"Well, what happened yesterday?" Yuugi asks.

"Yes, Bakura, do tell!" Otogi breaks in energetically. I raise my eyebrows and look at him like he is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen, next to my lobster. He's got to have a death wish.

Otogi was never born.

"Otogi, please go away," I order politely. I don't want him listening to this recent tale of shame. I'll just let Yuugi tell him later.

"Oh don't worry, I'm not listening." He informs me, quickly becoming fascinated with his fingernails. I turn back to Yuugi, warily.

"Yesterday was horrible. Mokuba was eating lunch and--" I scowl at Otogi. He is watching me with an intense face of concentration, nodding at every word I finish. I find this is very annoying.

"Do you mind, Otogi?" I ask.

"Why do you care?" he smirks, jumping onto the counter and sitting down, crossing his legs. How does he know I hate that?

"Mokuba was eating lunch and…" Sorry, I can't continue. I look at Otogi to see he's not doing anything but sitting. His air, though, is sarcastic and I know he has something planned.

"Oh, don't mind me…." he says, mock studying a pack of Pokémon cards. I think I know what he's getting for his birthday now. I never though Pokémon could be so fascinating for him.

"Mokuba had his servants lock me outside the house because I wasn't eating his food." I tell Yuugi.

"Good, that's what I heard too," Otogi interjects.

"What?" I ask, I've wanted to kill him several times over, but I have amazing self-control. Now I'm fraying. Who is he to find all this out? Am I being stalked?

"I heard that you were locked out from--" he pauses and grins at me, "--sources."

"I'm going to kill you and Jounouchi, and Honda," I tell him, just so he knows. I don't want poor Otogi to be unwarned when he feels the knife in his back. God knows it's more appreciation than he's ever given me.

"Who are you killing, Bakura?" a voice asks behind me. My heart stops in nanoseconds. That better just be someone who sounds like….

"Hello, Jounouchi, nice to see you." Otogi greets, smirking. Jounouchi growls, not much differently from his stereotype relation of a dog.

"Bakura here just said he was going to kill me and you and Hiroto," Otogi says.

I wonder what I'd do if I were a duel monster? Maybe I'd choose to invoke my special ability right now and lower Otogi's attack strength to zero? Then maybe I'd obliterate him from the field. Yes, I would, and then I'd move on to the weak little puppy in the doorway. I'd have to sacrifice Yuugi, but I'd destroy my enemy.

"Jounouchi," Otogi continues, "Did you know a secret about Bakura? That baby-sits Mokuba Kaiba? He doesn't want you to know because the think you might freak out or something."

I can't believe I let Otogi get away with all this. I can't believe after all my threats he's still alive. I can't believe after Jounouchi hears this _I'm_ still alive.

"HE WHAT?" Jounouchi snaps. I glare at the smug Otogi before I cower in fear. Jounouchi is soon right in my face. All I can see is his head. Being so close, you'd think I could hear him if he whispered, right?

Jounouchi doesn't think so.

"KAIBA IS THE ENEMY! HOW DARE YOU EVEN ENTER HIS HOME! WHY DO YOU WANT TO BABY-SIT THAT BRAT? ARE YOU CRAZY? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL HIM TO GET A SERVANT OR SHOVE IT UP HIS—" Jounouchi is cut it off by St. Otogi, who, sitting on the counter already, kicks the raging monster that used to be Jounouchi in the chest. Jounouchi falls back, winded. But, it's not like I see much of this more than I hear it, I'm cowering and hiding my face. I am aware that I'm wet. Jounouchi really shouldn't spit like that.

"Jounouchi, give him a break!" Yuugi scowls as the loud dog recovers and gets ready to holler again. I'm not standing till I'm sure he's not going to punch me out.

Jounouchi turns to me, glowering.

"Why?" he whispers angrily.

"Money?" I squeak. I know he's going to shoot that answer down fast.

"But you have money, Bakura! And if you didn't, you could ask us!" he says me loudly, but not so infuriated as before.

I can't tell him the reason. I don't know why I agreed to _baby-sit_ a kid. Something about the way Kaiba asked, like it's not really anything to do with watching a child for hours, but some plan I haven't been told yet. Mokuba really doesn't need a nanny or anything, as he's proven that many, many times. No, Kaiba is trying to get some something out of my being at his house that I can't see. He probably thinks, though, that I am convinced I'm having to watch his brother. This really gets confusing. I know that the businessman is using me for something and I want to find out, not just give up because he insists to paying me for doing nothing.

And that's my predicament and what I would like to tell Yuugi, but now there's an audience and I've lost my nerve.

I'm quiet and again, Otogi comes to my rescue.

"Oh, look at the time," he remarks. Cliché, but still effective, "Bakura and I really must be going! We can't miss that thing at that place we're going to now because we don't want to be late and annoy those people we are going to meet," he announces, signalling for me to go along.

"Uh, yeah," I add as Otogi pushes me out the door.

"Goodbye, seeyoucan'tbelateciao!" he beams at the others, closing the door and sprinting me away. We are soon far from sight of the game shop and, most importantly, Jounouchi.

"Why did you tell Jounouchi?" I ask as we walk down the street.

Otogi smirks, which I hate. I glare at him. He is so lucky I'm not an explosive personality. Otherwise, he'd be six feet down at my insistence, not coming up any time soon. I hope he'll start to realise this.

"Felt like it," he grins.

"But he'll kill me! I'm marked now. I hope you know that unless you were planning on guarding me for the rest of my life, that little slip gives you nothing. And don't we all know you're such a genius when it comes to planning! What did you think you'd get out of that?" I ask, demanding to know. I'm not yelling, nor am I near it; I'm just frustrated at him. Believe me, you'd be too at this point.

"Oh, don't you see?" he mocks me, "This is just an excuse to follow you around! I'm guarding you now from Jounouchi."

I want to growl at him angrily, but I know he'll just crack up laughing again. Why isn't he taking me seriously? Am I like some pathetic child he has randomly chosen to torment?

Why can't he annoy Yuugi? Honda? Why do I get the attention of all his great attacks? Is it because I'm smarter than him? I'm not. There's a reason I don't play chess. I'm not great at strategy. He's known this for as long as he's known me and always uses it to my disadvantage.

"Don't you realise what you've done?" I ask seriously, "Jounouchi will tell everyone. Honda and Anzu think of Kaiba as the enemy too. They'll all hate me for just watching Mokuba!"

"So?" he asks, with his crazy grin officially plastered to his face.

"So? So? What do you mean so? My life is going to fall apart now!" I cry loudly. I don't mean tears or anything; I'm raising my voice. I'm taking one last glance of my molasses life as it's cleaned up. I'm in the helter-skelter again. It's strange now, I wanted out so bad, now everything falls.

I can't blame the lobster either. I'll convict Kaiba. The crime: ruining Ryou Bakura's existence. The punishment: Bakura will kill Mokuba.

Okay, maybe not, but if that boy eats rice and sugar again, with a little baby's porcelain spoon, I'll reconsider.

_(So many death threats.)_

I blink at the Spirit's voice. So? All I can do is threaten, it's not like I'm going to kill anyone for real. I'm just being dramatic. It's what I do.

"Geez Bakura, I didn't know you took Jounouchi's anger so seriously. I'm sorry I 'ruined your life'. I just was trying to get you to move around, change your views. From where I'm looking, you're at an all time low. You can sit through Anzu! That's when you should know you've hit a low." He says, serious for once.

"So? What if I don't want people angry at me so I can transfer to another planet?" I snap. I feel like I'm going to cry, as in tears, soon.

"But you need to. Sometimes it helps to have others not agree with what you do. You have to realize that working for Kaiba may not be the one small thing to ruin your comfortable surroundings, but the great explosion that messes everything up. In a good way. Eventually. Your method of pleasing everyone wasn't meant to work forever, so I'm helping you tear it down. Cool, right?" He says to me.

Otogi should consider writing a book, "Phrases and Speeches To Drive Your Already Bipolar Friend Up the Wall". He always seems to quote, and come up with, metaphors and similes that leave me behind. Hey, I memorize things, I don't invent. I think this comes from my insane mother's side. The only reason my father looked so weird around her family was that he was the only _normal_ one in the group.

"So? If I want to ruin my life, I don't really need you helping out. I assure you that I'm fully capable of all this myself," I try to remind him as my eyes water.

"So, I like to help people," Otogi sneers, with a shrug that bites at my nerves. No, he's not hitting one nerve. No, this is plural.

"Well I'm not 'people', Otogi, I'm nobody, so leave me alone." Otogi just shakes his head. Before he opens his mouth, I realize my crucial error.

"And don't you dare recite Emily Dickinson!" I command as he starts to laugh. **(A)**

"Damn, you read my mind, Ryou!" he cheers, laughing.

"Don't call me Ryou either!"

"Sure," he shrugs, "Any more orders?"

I blink at him now as an idea comes. "Say your father's a clown," I order, trying not to start laughing or crying in mid-request.

Otogi grins at me, remembering the last time I brought up clowns when we were together.

"My father's a clown," he says, grinning at me. I can't help but laugh slightly.

"Say you're the son of a clown." I request as he all too willingly complies.

"I'm the son of a circus clown," he replies, adding the one word that almost makes me bail.

"Tell me you're a clown!" my final order rings, while he is grinning.

"I'm a clown," he tells me.

"You want to be a clown?" I ask, to make sure.

"I _am_ a clown," he corrects in a playful growl.

"Quit clowning around!" I order, sounding like the school dean of discipline who nearly got me expelled.

"But I am a clown!" he protests mockingly, like the day we almost got me kicked out of school for the rest of eternity.

Okay, I see this may not make much sense to you because none of you were there. The clown thing has to do with the day I befriended Otogi. We we're sitting in Literature class across from on another. I started doodling pictures in my pamphlet when the teacher turned away. Otogi saw this and convincingly threatened me that he would tell. That was the first big hoax he played on me. To my relief and frustration, he took my book and drew in it. The end result was a clown by a circus tent, quite well done. I wrote below it "Great Clown". Otogi wrote around that so it read "Otogi, Great Clown's Son". I told him he was a clown and he told me he was a clown. For almost the entire class we mouth the word 'clown' across the room at each other.

The teacher caught my book and looked through it when I started to laugh at one of Otogi's gestures. She wasn't too happy about the picture. I was to be chewed out in front of the class. For a brief few minutes I felt lost. I was in trouble, and I was the quiet kid in the class. That had never happened before. The person who had gotten me in trouble was being ignored (like all rich people in Domino High are) and I was to get written up.

I was surprised as the teacher started to yell at me and hit her desk when Otogi stood up in defense. He stated quite loudly that he was a clown. I would have started to laugh at him, had I not been so terribly shaken. The teacher didn't know what to do, since Otogi had so much power. She sent us to the dean's office like he was supposed to know.

The dean wasn't too sure what to do, either. For some reason, he told us to stop clowning around in class. Otogi looked at him desperately and said, "But I am a clown" to the man.

I was nearly expelled afterwards, but I think Otogi threatened the school. Afterwards, I had tried to avoid Otogi, since he did things like talk out in class and in public, but he went after me, catching me in the lunchroom by myself one day, cornering me and telling me, quite frankly, he was a clown.

That was funny and I laughed.

But you must think I dislike Otogi now, since I want to kill him an all, right? Well, one thing about me, no matter how many times I curse Otogi, I don't really hate him. Whenever I do, you can just sigh and roll your eyes at me. We're actually great friends. Out of all the people I know, Otogi is the only one I've ever truly been myself around all the time. While it takes me a while to warm up to Yuugi, Otogi is different. Otogi and me are quite alike, even though he's more out there and loud.

And we're friends, okay? There is nothing going on between Otogi and I. We did try once to experiment with a relationship, but we got bored. There was no point really, it's not like I could ever be madly in love with Otogi and the thought is now hilarious to both of us. We laugh at each other, try to outsmart each other, but there's no passion. In fact, while we we're "dating" both of us tried to see how long it was till the other found out about how we were "cheating" on each other, from things ranging in actual human beings (males and females), who never asked to join our little joke, to items such as cars and mouthwash.

"So, how long till you finish clown college?" I ask him now, knowing the answer.

"I'm already a clown," he snaps, smirking and putting an arm around my shoulders as one of my frustrated tones break out in my voice.

"You really should join the clown cult, you know," he informs me, as both of us make our way down the street. He's ignoring the strange looks thrown our direction.

"Why?" I ask glumly.

"Cause then you won't have to baby-sit annoying rich brats," he tells me. I blush, remembering the Kaibas.

"But I don't want to be a clown, Otogi," I confess with disappointment.

"But you know," he whispers in my ear, "You already are one. And you can't change what you already are, Ryou."

So you know, Otogi treads a delicate line all the time with that word. Usually, he's the only person who can get away with calling me such and not getting hollered at. The name gives me chills when Otogi whispers it, and he knows. He does this to annoy me, always.

Suddenly, a large car pulls up next to us. I look at it curiously as it parks. Out walks Kaiba's driver.

"Mr. Bakura?" the man asks. He raises his eyebrows slightly at Otogi's arm lain across my shoulders.

"Yes?" I ask. I know what he's here for.

"Are you coming?" he asks.

Yes, I'm going to try to "baby-sit" Mokuba Kaiba again.

"Good luck," Otogi smirks, "Kaiba needs all the baby-sitting available. You're watching Seto Kaiba, right?"

"Don't tell anyone I told you," I say back before climbing into the open door to the inside of the long car. I wave once to Otogi before he can no longer see me through the tinted glass.

* * *

I glare at Mokuba as he tries to get the guards to send me out. They don't move and he starts to whine, pleading and making promises I don't think he could ever keep.

_--Most Peruvian are mestizos, or descendents of mixed marriages between the native peoples and the Spanish settlers._

I look up from the encyclopedia long enough to smile as I turn the page.

_Immigrant nationalities include the Chinese, brought into work on the railroads, Africans to work on the sugar plantations, and the Japanese, who are now the largest ethnic minority._

Amazing, I had no idea Japanese people immigrated to Peru! Just proves that you tend to learn new things everyday, I suppose.

"Bakura! Go away, get out of the library!" Mokuba orders me. I don't get it. I was in the parlor and he storms in and tells me to go. I reside in some chair in the hall and I'm told that sitting there bothers him. Through all this migration I just happen to find the one room I really wanted to see somewhere in my mind, then Mokuba wants to read a book. I think he's trying to annoy me into not coming again.

If he keeps it up, it might work.

I do not have a stubborn streak that will make me stay just to contradict little Mokuba. When I get annoyed, I go (or watch Otogi attack the frustration since we get put off at the same things all the time). Ergo, I think that unless Kaiba locks me in the house with him, I'm not coming to watch Mokuba again.

"I'm going to tell my brother!" he warns me. I cock my eyebrow challengingly. The boy growls at me and storms out quite ungracefully.

_Peruvian currency consists of—_

So what? I'm reading an encyclopedia. I've already told you, this is how boring I am. **(B)**

Maybe that's why Mokuba dislikes me. I'm _boring_.

Yeah, tell me something I don't know.

Now, Mokuba isn't a bad kid mostly. He's just hasn't realized the world isn't made out of steamed rice and canned fruits. Mokuba has yet to except the idea that there are certain ways one must behave if they really want to be taken seriously.

Being born simply is _not_ included.

Once the boy realizes this, he will be able literally not only to grasp the way of chopsticks, but also an idea of why people hardly respect his presence when servants aren't forcing them to (or just why I'm behaving like he's five or doesn't currently exist). His brother is stone cold to people, and that's all right and dandy, since he almost runs the country, but Mokuba is just his little brother.

The fact that he's halfway spoiled doesn't help.

Mokuba enters again calmly. I wonder what he's up to? The child is not stupid, and would maybe outsmart me just as well as Otogi could. I could never see plots and strategies well. There's a reason my other self always duels and not me. I just memorize facts about what each cards does.

"Want to play catch?" he asks me innocently.

There's something going on. In the doorway I see two tall guards. They watch me through their thick tinted shades. Or they watch the window. Or the far away wall. I can't see their eyes. I can't tell.

"I'm going to the park now anyway," Mokuba tells me, "You'll have to come too."

I watch the guards nervously. Kaiba gave the order not to lock me outside or anywhere else in the house. This is not locking, this is leaving. I have to consent or be dragged away with Mokuba.

I nod and rise slowly. I'm right in the middle of reading about the Peruvian financial system, but I think I'll survive.

Mokuba has the two of us driven to the park, smiling sweetly the entire time. I can't shake the feeling that something is going to happen against my benefit. I just can't see what it is, though. There's a wall keeping me from the plan he must have. As we walk across the grass to a clear spot, I can only wonder.

Mokuba holds up the catch ball. It an average sized blue one that looks normal enough. He tosses it and I try to catch. The ball slips right through my fingers and lands at my feet. I toss it back underhand.

"You can't play catch?" he asks me in awe. I blush and nod. Hey, I'm not going to lie, I have zero hand-eye coordination. I can see something come at me and dodge it, but I can't catch.

"Really?" he asks and throws the ball well aimed right at my head. I block it and almost break a finger. Mokuba throws too hard.

The blue evil ball has already rolled back to Mokuba. He picks it up and tosses it again. This time I duck and it soars into the trees.

"Go get that, it's your ball," he orders. I'm about to protest when I notice the guards. They nod at Mokuba's request and point to the trees.

Feeling like everything has spun completely out of control, I walk slowly over the leaves and grass under the three to find the ball. I can't see it anywhere but I'm afraid to go back without it.

Look how wonderfully scared I am of Mokuba and his two cronies. I guess I'm easily intimidated.

Okay, that ball is nowhere! I'm ready to turn and tell Mokuba this when I notice I suddenly feel very alone. I turn around in time to see the car pull away and get lost in the traffic. Mokuba has his hand out the window, waving with the little blue ball mockingly.

I think I want to hurt that child.

There are so many things I think I want to do right about now that I never considered humane. I still don't think the ideas are morally right and that's part of the reason why they cross my mind. My list of who to kill has grown: Honda, Jounouchi, Otogi, and Mokuba. Maybe I should schedule a road trip to Kaiba Corp and push them all out the window? I could blame it on the ghost of Gozabaru Kaiba.

Well, I'd need to get them all together for that, and then everyone knows it won't work. Jounouchi won't remain stable for long under the pressure of Mokuba, Otogi and entering Kaiba Corp. He'd most likely vanquish all of us before he gets off the elevator up.

"Hey kid, watch it!" a voice yells behind me. I turn to see a Frisbee soaring towards my head. Before I can move, a dog leaps up and catches it.

"I'm so sorry!" the man apologizes as I just blink. I think I better go somewhere else; in case there's no-one's Labrador to save me from projectiles.

I walk out of the park and onto the sidewalk. I have no idea where Kaiba's mansion is from here. I don't even really know where here is. I'm in some strange section of downtown I've never seen before.

I wish I had money for a taxi right now. Stupid me thought I'd be babysitting all day (go figure), not getting abandoned by my charge. I should have known it wasn't going to go as I thought.

I should have known lots of things.

"Hello, you look lost, do you need help?" a voice asks behind me. I turn around to see a short fat man with eyes that are so small I wonder if he's blinded by their large, fleshy lids.

"Uh, yeah," I mutter, not sure what to think. I'm giving up on worrying. If this guy is going to rob me, he has nothing to steal.

"Well I know someone who will drive you wherever you want to go if you agree to do one thing for him," the short man tells me. I don't like the offer.

"No thanks, I'm not interested," I reply nervously, trying to get away.

"Please, he says you could," the man tells me. This makes no sense to me. Is the short guy crazy?

"What?" I ask since I can't see any other way out. If I listen and still turn him down, he has to let me go, it's polite.

"He wants you to watch Mokuba tomorrow," he recites. I gape at him.

"Okay, where's Kaiba?" I ask desperately. I hear a smirk behind me that I recognize as the billionaire's own.

"I'm sorry, I just saw you wandering and had to do that," he tells me, "because I don't see Mokuba anywhere."

I turn around to face him. Oh, he wants to know where his little brother is, eh?

"Sorry, Mokuba is most likely at home, eating chocolate glazed rice with a baby's spoon," I can't help but snap with an edge, "He left me in the park. I saw him drive off, mocking me."

Kaiba's face brightens in amusement at his brother's behaviour and I want to lock the expression in a dark room to see if there will suddenly be light. I've never seen the man so near an actual smile.

"You don't say?" he asks as he mocks me, "well you did your best, so, oh God…I'll have to pay you or something."

I want to destroy today right now. I want to chop it to unreal smoothness in a blender of dreams and pour it into my sleep so that I can wake up to another chance at correcting all the errors I've made in twenty-four hours.

_Now I set the blender on high and….  
__VROOM!! SPLAT!  
_Insert sounds of goo flying everywhere.  
_Oh, wait, is there suppose to be a lid or something?_

I'd probably end screwing the day up even more though, if I tried that. If that was even possible. A blender? Am I mental here?

"Come, Bakura, I'll talk with Mokuba," Kaiba commands as his car pulls up. I glare at him slightly as we get in and he tells the driver to go to the mansion from Hell, except he calls it home. He fails to notice me. I stare out the window and angrily count the painted lines on the road, sitting as far from Kaiba as is humanly possible without completely merging with the window and door.

Mokuba greets us happily as we enter the house. He naturally hugs his brother and gives me an energetic hello. I'm not in the mood to reciprocate.

"Mokuba, did you leave Bakura in the park?" Kaiba asks his brother. I stare at the wall and start giving numbers to each of the lines on the wallpaper.

"Yes," Mokuba answers.

Kaiba sighs at Mokuba and ruffles the boy's dark hair. He speaks and his tone is that of one lightly scolding a child for teasing the new puppy.

"Mokuba, you shouldn't do that to Bakura, he doesn't know the city as well as you and I do. He could get lost."

I have the urge, once again, to run at Kaiba shrieking 'DIE' at the top of my lungs. I'm not sure now who was watching who. Am I under the false illusion that I'm baby-sitting Mokuba, when he's supposed to keep a check on me? I'm confused. People on my level of the financial pyramid probably shouldn't even look at those ruling the world, much less try to figure what they are planning. I'd rather just go home and sit with my lobster in the middle class world, where I belong. It's easier to understand that place.

"I think I'll be going now, Kaiba" I mutter, making for the car. I climb inside and Kaiba takes the wheel, to my ultimate annoyance. Is he going to do this every time?

"So," he asks as we reach the apartment complex, "are you going to baby-sit Mokuba tomorrow?"

I frown, but I don't have a reason to refuse now do I? Whether I stop watching the kid or not, Jounouchi is still going to kill me. At least I know at Kaiba's I'm safe from that monster dog-man.

"Yes," I reply a little strongly.

Kaiba looks confused for a few seconds and I suddenly find the asphalt outside my window very interesting. Too interesting. I think I just saw Elvis Presley's face in the ridges.

"Really?" he asks in surprise. I can't believe what I'm hearing. I look up and can't believe what I'm seeing: Kaiba genuinely surprised.

I need a camera. Maybe before Jounouchi kills me I can show him the photograph and pray he'll find it funny.

"Yes," I begin quietly, calmed slightly by the fact that I was able to change Kaiba's expression, "Now, let me out please."

Kaiba unlocks the door silently and I step out. I don't think he believes me. Tough luck, I'm not lying.

I watch Kaiba drive away. I remember the shock and confusion as he tried to see through my yes. There was nothing to see; I'll watch Mokuba tomorrow.

Seriously, some people think too much. I don't and I'm fine. Sorta. I guess Kaiba thought I was stubborn or something. I'm not, just stupid at times. The sad thing is, being in his economic status, he's probably lied to twenty-four seven. I suppose he thinks I want something or another now because I'm agreeing. I probably could use this to my advantage, the fact that he wants me with Mokuba all the time, but I'm terrible at scheming for myself. Someone has to give me something and I know it's mine, I can't craft a plan to get what I want out of people, it isn't my nature to be entirely self serving.

My lobster smacks the tub as I enter. I throw some food at him and he goes for it. I wonder if he planned on annoying me at the restaurant so that I would save him. I'd be sad if so, that a crustacean can choose what he wants and devise a method of attaining it, while I can't, even when opportunity is looking me in the face, most likely holding a staring contest to see who blinks. I know a chance is here, if I could have the heart to work together a strategy, but I don't want anything. I don't think I need anything that Kaiba could give, not even money. And Kaiba has a lot of money.

I just realized something: Kaiba forgot to pay me.

He must have been really shocked.

* * *

**Notes and stuff: **Uh. they got lost...

Okay, like, yay, there's the third chapter. Kinda hard to believe you read the first on three weeks ago, eh? It's travelled so far now. Please review. I'd really appreciate it and I will respond, no matter how short.

I hope Otogi isn't too weird. I see he's not that big a character, so I tried to make him a human as the anti OCC will allow. Please let me know. I may have really messed him up here. I just thought Ryou needed a good friend and Otogi was looking so very neglected in my story plot universe in a dark corner all by himself. I had to do something because bug-boy, dino-dude, and the trout scout didn't seemed to fit. Neither did Mai (go figure).

Anybody know and good not-very OCC fics on Seto or that center around him? I need to read some of those. Can you all go so far as to locate a Seto/Ryou? I haven't read any yet and I need some good ones so I don't screw up what everyone thinks of Kaiba-kun. That would not be good, though I don't doubt it will receive many reviewer complains.


	4. Rain

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yugioh.

The pairings introduced right now:  
Anzu/Yami no Yuugi

The crushes introduced right now:  
Jounounchi/Ryou  
Seto/Yuugi

Thanks Beta-reading, R Amythest!

* * *

**Chapter de Fourth: Rain**

Doesn't rain always seem to set the mood for some horrible news that will depress you? News that will make you distraught at the mere idea that life could ever be so horrible?

Well, it's never raining when I am the last to learn something. No, only once the problem is solved, and everyone has moved on, do they finally decide to let me in on why the group was so downtrodden for weeks. I hate this because it's usually a lovely, inspiringly spring day while I'm happily counting the flowers that have bloomed on the cherry trees. That's when someone walks up to me and asks me if I want to know why a few months ago Jounouchi was so angry at the world. Then I'm worried about him and am told that guess what, he's finally over it! Has been over it for weeks! But, hey just so you know, when it doesn't even matter any more.

Better late than never, I suppose.

But maybe that's how I want it to be. I want to be the sweet, innocent saint everyone loves and tries to help, even when all I've done is felt slightly depressed, being quieter than usual.

Note the sarcasm.

I do not like to be avoided, but I've gotten used to it. It's like I'm not human, just there. Nobody ever likes to really talk to me. Yuugi would rather go and tell Jounouchi about how worried he is about the Sennen Puzzle spirit's mood and be comforted the best way Jounouchi can. That isn't very much. When you tell Jounouchi something he has to think about it for maybe five hours before a conclusion breaks through.

Maybe no-one thinks I want to know about him or her, that I'm too concerned with the spirit in my ring? Okay, that spirit hardly does anything past annoying me these days. Everyone's probably scared that they'll end up talking to the spirit instead of me. Who wants to tell an egocentric and ambitious alter ego of devious origins what is going on? They're smart and I can see the logic in this lack of trust, but still. I end up being snubbed when trouble arrives.

Even Otogi won't tell me what bothers him, and, unlike all the other people in my life, I can't read minds. Everyone is so eager to help me, but they will not, under any circumstances, allow me to return the sentiment. I'm am terrified of the thought that anyone would depend on me for anything because I wouldn't know how to react. I've had no practice and would just make things worse.

But there's a part of me that doesn't think so. It's the part that make me always thrilled to be the first to learn something and first to do something about it. There is a chance that I may fail, but I go for it. I've never failed to help people because I'm always the last resort, so I get to see my predecessors' mistakes and avoid them. It makes me appear much more intelligent and aware than I really am.

So, when it rains, I hope. I hope that maybe I won't have to read to learn something new today, that some one will tell me something I didn't know and I won't be the last in.

Right now it's raining torrents, which I can hardly believe. I wondered today, when the storm started, if it was the day a bit of information will hit me first. The big secret I'll be let in on before anyone else. I've just recently escaped my molasses life of trying to please everyone. All my friends know about where I am, that I'm baby-sitting Mokuba Kaiba. Honda, Anzu, Jounouchi, and Mai have gotten a little distant, but I've been with Yuugi and Otogi most of the time, so that doesn't matter. I still haven't met Jounouchi alone though, so he hasn't had a chance to kill me.

"Mokuba, what do you do when it rains?" I ask, sitting across from the boy in the library. I listen to the pleasant platter of the droplets on the even, strong walls of Kaiba's home. God knows where Kaiba had to go today, but I'm watching Mokuba again like I promised. The billionaire was pleasantly surprised that I wasn't a liar.

"Read? Play video games?" the boy says with a shrug. I nod and go to look for a book. I'm done learning about Peru, thank you very much.

I thumb idly through all the different volumes dominating the wall nearest to me. Nothing looks interesting at the moment. These are all old books, past references and past politics. Once something's been around long enough to be written down, it's over and old. I won't learn my fabulous secret here.

"Are there any good books in here?" I ask, sitting down again.

"No," Mokuba replies, knocking over a row of tiles he spent thirty minutes arranging to what seemed the exact, mathematical correction.

I stare at the clock and wonder what time Kaiba comes home. I didn't know the first day, because I was outside. Yesterday I found him while walking around the city like a moron. His schedule remains a mystery.

"What time does your brother come home, Mokuba?" I ask him. I wonder if even he knows?

"Late," he replies, stacking the tiles again.

"I see." I say. "I wonder what Yuugi's doing?" I ask the wall.

"Yuugi?" I hear Mokuba ask.

"Yeah, I just wonder what he's doing now, sorry. I told him to check in on my lobster."

"Yuugi Motou?" Mokuba asks again. I sigh. It's like Kaiba and the Ryou thing. 'What, did I really say Ryou? Did I say Ryou? Really? Did I actually call you Ryou? _No_. Really? Are you sure? You're kidding, aren't you? I said Ryou?'

"Yes, Yuugi Motou." I say firmly hoping this doesn't get drawn out. Mokuba grins at something.

"What?" I ask tensely. He's always laughed at me.

"Oh, not you, Bakura. I just remembered something Seto said--" he smiles again, "--about Yuugi."

I can see there's a nice little joke here that Mokuba thinks is funny. Naturally, I want to know what it is. Funny things are always great.

"What did your brother say about Yuugi?" I ask, curious.

"I'm only telling you on one condition." Mokuba challenges.

I nod to show I'm listening to his suggestion.

"Promise to call my brother Seto," he says.

I really wish I could reach into Mokuba's brain and pull all the information out. I gulp at the request. I can't do that when he's officially established himself as Kaiba to his enemies and their group. We all called him Kaiba, me, Otogi, Mai, Honda, Jounouchi. Only Yuugi ever called him Seto, because they usually got along well enough and tag duel really well. Seto was too personal a word for me to permit myself to use.

Obviously Seto's told Mokuba all about me. Yuugi tells everyone all about me, too. So does Otogi. I didn't know I was of such interest to everyone. That's or my life's super exciting and they all wish they had it as great as me. Or, the general consensus is that I'm fun to poke fun at, so when I do something stupid everyone gets a phone call about it. I'm no longer surprised Otogi knew I was locked out my first day baby-sitting. It was probably on the evening news.

"Forget it," I mutter. Because the fact that the whole world knows I'm and idiot who prefers impersonal relationships doesn't at all change the fact that I'm an idiot who prefers impersonal relationships. I give up.

"Then you don't get to know anything," Mokuba scoffs, passively setting up the smooth little tiles all over again. I begin to count them, which usually helps me relax. I observe the little marks on their faces and try to think. Then it hits me.

This could very well be the one big secret I've been waiting to hear all day. Calling Kaiba by his first name can't be that bad, can it? I'm not going to do so again ever. And it's not like he'll kick me in the face. It's just a name to him. It separates him from all the other Kaibas in the world and that's it. Hell, there's probably another Kaiba Seto out there and another Bakura Ryou. It's not like we have exclusive rights, that our parents signed contracts that for this generation there will be one Kaiba Seto right here, and too bad for anyone else who wanted the name. They were just too slow.

And Kaiba did accidentally call me Ryou. I'll just be getting him back.

"Okay, I'll call him that, now tell me." I request.

Mokuba grins at me and I want to lock him in a tiny little box, shipping him off to Who-Knows-Where, America.

"Make sure he can hear you really good, on the drive home!" he adds, suddenly make the task more specific which isn't fair.

I nod like an evil stone gargoyle that has just come to life long enough to agree.

"Make sure he hears you!" he commands, starting to laugh. Does he want me to make sure the penknife goes clean through my heart as well?

I sigh again, "Yeah, I get it!" I'm also getting annoyed at this.

"Okay, promise!" he orders.

"I promise," I say slowly.

"Swear you'll call him Seto when he can hear you. Give me your word!" he pipes into my reddening world.

"I swear. You have my word as long as you tell me the answers to my questions," I reply. Hey, I'm not that stupid, I'm not going to give my word sans, stating Mokuba's side of the offer. That way he can't go and say I promise to call Kaiba Seto for nothing and refuse to tell me what I want to know.

"Fine!" he laughs and slowly calms down.

"Seto loves Yuugi," he says smugly.

"KAIBA'S GAY?" I scream in shock and possibly terror. I dunno, it makes me afraid. I'm gay and Kaiba being gay makes me afraid.

"That's another question." Mokuba answers.

I calm down and unintentionally smile at him. I'm so very happy now that I've rigged this conversation.

"I said I'd keep my word if you answered 'questions'. Were you listening?" I ask him. If he doesn't answer more questions from me, I don't have to call Kaiba 'Seto'. Hehehe, Bakura Ryou, you're a genius.

Mokuba's face slowly fills with awe, then betrayal, then rage. He glares at me, but I don't care. He agreed to the deal. Slowly his face calms and he looks ready to laugh. He likes to laugh at me, I see.

"So your brother? He's actually gay?" I ask again, carefully. I'm shocked. Who would have known? Seto Kaiba? But I thought, with all those girls….

"Yeah," he says like I'm an idiot. "Unless Yuugi isn't telling us something."

"Are you sure he isn't bisexual or something? I mean, have you seen all those girlfriends crowded en masse in group sessions complaining about how he 'rejected' them?"

Mokuba shrugs without concern for these poor girls. Apparently his brother's taste doesn't bother and/or concern him. He probably doesn't give a damn.

"It's not impossible…" He admits, "But he doesn't talk about any girls the way he does Yuugi."

I nod. So there's more to this. Suddenly it hits me.

"Is this why I'm 'babysitting' you?" I ask.

"Yep, Seto used to talk about Yuugi all the time, obsessed over that guy. It was funny, and he only let me know. I finally told him to go and do something about it. That was when he picked you out to baby-sit."

"Why me? Because I'm a friend of his crush?" I ask nervously.

"Yes, and he hopes to get Yuugi's attention better if he has one of his friends here. He wants to be near Yuugi and that's why he has you to watch me all the time now. I've never had to be 'baby-sat' before. I thought it was funny," he smirks again, "But of course, by the first day, you knew that."

I actually did think that. Mokuba is obviously great on his own.

"You sure weren't taking your job very seriously. I sent you outside and you didn't worry about me at all. I watched you to see if you'd panic and try to get back in. You didn't. You tried to leave but the guard knocked you over. Then you just napped on the lawn and stuff till Seto came back. I was laughing at you. You'd make a terrible babysitter."

I can't help but smile. So maybe Mokuba didn't need to be locked in a box. Everything was a part of his plan too, as well as his brother's.

And both Kaiba's were using me: Seto for his crush and Mokuba for his amusement. My friends never do stuff like this to me. It's almost offending, now that I understand.

Kaiba is gay? I am, but it's really weird to find out other people are. Especially because being gay does not give you an intuitive sense of who else it. People coming out is still just as surprising.

* * *

Lesson number one here: Rich people are messed up.

Kaiba wasn't home till late. The rain had been pouring for two hours and it was dark out. Mokuba and I had gone outside, the Kaiba with an umbrella and me without, since I didn't care. We taunted the door guard. The man didn't move at all. Finally, Mokuba ran back to the house and, laughing like the devil on drugs, locked me out. I was screaming at him to let me in. He finally did, but I was wet. I think I hate him. He was a little mad at the whole 'questions' thing, that me, the stupid doll, had tricked him. When Kaiba came home, I was still little wet, but I wasn't soaked. I certainly smelled like rain because of all my hair.

"Bakura, why are you dripping?" Kaiba asks critically as he sees me.

"I'm not dripping," I sigh at him, "My hair is just damp."

"Why? Did Mokuba lock you out?" he asks in amusement. I don't think he realizes Mokuba and I could ever get along.

"Well yeah," I answer, "But we were annoying the guard."

Kaiba raises an eyebrow at me. "Together, as in, you got along?" he asks, like this could never happen in a million years. Mokuba and I are friends now, after all the things he's told me about Kaiba and what I told him about Yuugi (which, I know, will find it's way to the older brother sometime). I even told Mokuba of the fate of his dinner lobster. He laughed and said I needed help. I said his brother needed it more.

"Yes, Mokuba and I get along." I repeat back to Kaiba as Mokuba laughs at him. Kaiba isn't happy at the fact that we are making fun of him, but it's his fault for thinking we're impossible.

"Oh, that's okay," he says, opening the door so I can go out to the limo. Like usual, he gets into the front seat and drives.

I remember what I promised Mokuba. I swore I'd call Kaiba 'Seto' and I'm not sure how. How does one bring up a topic?

Why am I so paranoid at people's names?

Bad genes I suppose.

"So how did you really get wet?" Kaiba asks. I look at him surprised. What? Does he not believe me?

"Mokuba locked me outside after we talked to the guard. He let me in after a few minutes."

Kaiba shakes his head like he does not believe me. "Sure, Bakura, I think you're just trying to defend Mokuba."

I sigh at this and mimic his headshake. I'm about to say Kaiba when I change my mind. It's best I get this over with soon.

"Seto," I sigh loudly, like he's completely hopeless.

The car stops so suddenly that I fly forward and hit my head on the back of Kaiba's seat. He pulls over and I hear a roaring sound. It's Kaiba, laughing at me. I look at him, annoyed and dizzy from the impact.

And remember, children, to always fasten your seatbelts.

"What was that, Bakura?" he asks quietly, a sadistic smirk on his face. I want to rip his head off.

"What was what?" I ask, climbing back into my seat, feeling sick. My head hurts.

"Did you call me Seto?" he asks with hideous sneer. I'd glare at him, but the throb in my skull is just too much.

"Did I?" I ask angrily.

Kaiba starts the car again, laughing at me. My ears are ringing and my forehead throbs uncomfortably. As we drive to the apartment complex, I'm seeing slight flashes of light. I hope it's only temporary. I don't notice anything on the way there, except the way the world spins once, real fast, and stops, spins once, real fast, and stops.

"Hey, you getting out, Ryou?" I hear Kaiba asking. I jolt and wait as the world holds still again.

"Hey, you have a death wish?" I mutter, so low and fast he doesn't even catch it. I try to find the door handle and fail. Where is it? Why isn't it next to me in the door, where it belongs? Kaiba sighs and gets out, going around and opening the door for me. I try not to fall out as I straighten to exit.

As my foot touches the hard cement, the world falls out from under me. I almost hit the ground as Kaiba stabilizes me by the shoulder.

"What's you're problem? Are you feeling right?" he asks.

I don't know. What am I? Am I ill? Am I dead? Am I sane? What's Kaiba? Is he angry? Is he annoyed? Is he concerned?

"Fine," I slur. He stares at me unbelievingly. Why can't the earth just swallow him. so I can go to my room?

"Which apartment is yours?" he asks me. I don't know if I answer, I don't think I care anyway.

Kaiba goes back to the car and locks it, walking with me up the stairs, inside. By the time we reach my door, I already have most of my coordination back.

"Goodbye," I remark, closing the door in Kaiba's face, locking it.

"Bakura? Bakura, what the hell is wrong with you?" he calls.

"Goodbye," I say again, going to the phone. I dial the first number that comes to my head.

"Hey Otogi."

"Oh, hey Bakura, what do you want? It's a little late."

"Could you come over?"

"Sure," he replies.

"Thanks, and, if Kaiba is outside, chase him away."

"What?!" he asks, surprised.

"Kaiba," I repeat.

"Why is he…?" Otogi trails off.

"Just come over." I sigh in frustration to make it more obvious that questions are no important at this time.

"Okay, all right."

I listen to the click as he hangs up. I walk to the bathroom where the lobster splashes in the tub. I throw food at it and close the door again. I have no idea why I still have that pet. I can hear him swimming about all the time. I wonder if he likes his new home?

"Bakura?" I hear Kaiba ask, one last time, before I collapse onto the couch. My head hurts too much to stay awake.

I wake up and I don't know where I am. I try slowly to piece together what just happened. I remember Kaiba and open my eyes.

There's a slight, painful echo in my brain of the sound of someone moving around.

"You finally woke up!" I hear as a greeting from what must be the most annoying voice in the universe.

"Why are you here?" I ask Otogi, hating him for just that.

"You called me last night. You didn't sound too good on the phone," he says. Memories don't flood back. Some fragments drift by and that's it. "You didn't look too great either when I came over. What happened?

"Oh, Kaiba just tried to crash his car and kill us both, or, at least, me." I grumble as I sit up. I feel like I'm going to be sick.

"Well, why don't you sue?" That's Otogi, full of optimism.

"No thanks," I answer as my nausea fades.

"Are you watching Mokuba today?" Otogi asks as I stand and try to clear my head of its heaviness.

"If someone invents a pill that relieves pain," I say, hinting to a jar on the table.

"Good, so how many aspirins do you think you need? One? Two? The entire jar?" Otogi jokes.

"That's funny," I growl, and grab the jar from the psycho as he holds it before me, "how many did Kaiba need?"

"None," Otogi answers, "He runs too fast."

The image of Kaiba trying to escape Otogi is completely unfeasible, and therefore hilarious.

"Let me guess, he wasn't there?"

"What makes you think that?" Otogi asks, insulted.

"Cause otherwise you'd be in traction and I'd be dead."

"Why, you afraid I couldn't take him, Bakura?"

"No, not the least bit afraid," I sigh. "I _know_. He'd beat you up for trying to chase him away, take your key, come into the apartment and kill me for locking him out."

"Well, you two must get along great," Otogi states with a slight smile.

"Yeah," I mutter, "Great."

* * *

Two days later

I look at the wall, as it is the most amazing thing in the classroom.

"People lived in France as long as twenty thousand years ago. Celts from the east arrived about 500 B.C. From the middle of the first century B.C., the country was under Roman rule. The Romans called the land Gaul. As Roman rule weakened, various peoples arrived and fought each other for land. The most successful of these people were the Franks. The Frankish empire reached it's high up until the eighth century under the king Charlemagne." **(A)**

Ms. Teacher Lady is telling us about France. I don't care right now. She's mad at me because I missed school. I can't say I partied all day.

Well, unless you consider throwing up for nine hours a great celebration to the art of humanity's gift of projectile vomit.

Otogi told her I was sick, but we both know she doesn't like him, or me, since the clown thing. Yuugi came over after school to see if I was okay. I don't remember how long he stayed of if he said anything. I only know for certain that yesterday was not the best day of my life. I think I hate Kaiba now. Where did that idiot learn to drive? A computer simulator?

Wait, there's probably more truth in that remark than I realized bringing it up. For all I know he probably did learn in a simulator.

"Bakura, in 1804, who became emperor of France?" the evil woman asks.

"Sorry, but I don't know." I burrow back onto my folded arms as Otogi scoffs. I never answer my questions vocally. Ms. Teacher Lady hates this because I do everything else well enough that she can't fail me. I just get gigantic zeroes in class participation.

Before I am slaughtered by a wave of insults, the bell rings. When this happens, Ms. Teacher Lady leaves the room because she can't stand her class any longer.

At least that's why I think she goes.

I sit and watch the other students leave. I'm always last out and Otogi is always first. It's the thing we do to be different from each other. I don't know why, but it's always been that way. If both of us are told to leave at the same time, Otogi exits before me. Ms. Teacher Lady noticed this and would try to mess us up. It never worked. Otogi leaves, then I leave. Always in that order, even though sometimes I stay till the chess club chases me out.

As Kaiba leaves, I sigh loudly for apparently no reason whatsoever. He turns around to face me. I stare him right in the eyes and think about how much Yuugi would enjoy someone with eyes like that. Yuugi has this thing for peoples' irises. He told me about it once. He told me I had nice, shy blue eyes that made you feel bad when they hardened or grew sad. I laughed at this and he told me it made him happy to see that, for a few seconds, the large ranks of sadness aligned before had pulled back. He told me that when my eyes grow hard, it's very easy to help soften them again. He then stated, quite sorrowfully, that the horrible distant view of sadness I had was hard to move and constantly there. He said the only way to understand me was my eyes, as I didn't seem to like talking.

Yuugi is obviously more of a do-gooder, people person than me to worry about such strange things in others.

I had thanked my little friend politely and went home, trying to see if I did look depressed. Yuugi had also told me his opinion on other people and the expressions they tend to show most often in their eyes. He said he had wanted to change Kaiba's. He complained that the billionaire was too hard and impassive all the time, that he felt sorry for Kaiba and what forced him to do that.

I wonder how happy Yuugi'd be to soften Kaiba's eyes? Yuugi always tried to help me. I want to reward this, even if I get to please Kaiba at the same time.

I wonder how Kaiba would feel if I helped him get Yuugi? Would he let me help? I'd be a lot faster than his current plan, whatever that may be. I know more about Yuugi than he does and, thanks to Mokuba, I know more about Kaiba than he realizes. And this is not just that lobster gives him gas.

I might have to warn Yuugi of that.

"What are you laughing about, Bakura?" he scowls at me. I realize I'm watching him and smiling. Because looking crazy is one thing I'm good at.

"You," I reply truthfully, "and Yuugi."

Kaiba's face darkens in dislike. "What do you want?" he growls.

I realize what I just did. I brought up him and Yuugi up in the same sentence. Big error now, because this lets him think I know, and I do know. I didn't even mean it that way when I said Yuugi; I was just truthfully answering his question.

I hate my slip-ups.

"Nothing," I lie, getting up to go. Kaiba gets to the door before me and closes it. I panic. I shouldn't have said anything.

"You know," he growls. I look at him nervously and back up. I look at the last exit: the window.

Four stories aren't that great a fall, are they? People have been know to survive that, right? I may never walk again, but I will be alive. I'm also certain Kaiba would bestow a much more painful death.

"I'm sorry, and I swear I won't tell anyone," I plead. Kaiba is dangerous looking angry. His wrath, I know, is spawned from the fear I will let others know, that others already know, that other's are letting many more others know. This rage pulsates lightly from him like a horrible heat that will destroy me and leave nothing behind.

The most frightening part is Kaiba hardly looks more frustrated than he usually does. He's standing there, cool and collected, yet he's angrier than I've ever seen him. He's vengeful and scared, not a good combination.

"How did you find out?" he asks me, calm again as he stands before the door.

"Mokuba," I mutter, looking at the fascinating ground. Seto sighs angrily at this while I count tiles.

One—two—three—four—five—six—seven—eight—nine—ten—eleven—twelve

"When?" he asks, just as calmly as though he is offering me a paying job as babysitter.

"When it was raining. We were talking about different things, and it came up," I lie.

To my fright and surprise, Kaiba smirks.

"I should have know he would," he says, suddenly casual.

"Heh, yeah…" I smile back nervously and wonder just what the hell is wrong with Kaiba.

"Does anyone else know?" he asks.

I shake my head. "Unless Mokuba's told them, none that I know of." How could I have told anyone? I was throwing up for the whole of yesterday.

There is a long silence after this answer. Kaiba still stands before the door, and in my way. All I can do is wait till he remembers there's only one door out. Meanwhile, back to the floor tiles….

Thirteen—fourteen—fifteen—sixteen—seventeen-eighteen—nineteen—twenty—twen—

"Bakura," he asks, and I look up from my inspection of the floor. "Since you know Yuugi and all, could you…"

I wait while Kaiba tries to talk, say what he has to say in the most macho, businesslike manner possible. Apparently he gives up. "Could you, you know, help me out?"

"Help you get Yuugi?" I ask, though it's obvious. He glares slightly at this and I close my mouth.

"Yes, could you?" He finally admits it, low and hardly understandable.

I smile slightly, remembering his anger of a while ago. "You're giving me a choice?"

Kaiba brightens slightly. This is my version of a yes.

* * *

I wonder how happy Yuugi would be, to soften Kaiba's eyes? I wonder if he'd like the affection of the billionaire?

I wonder how well Yuugi could get along with Mokuba?

I watched Mokuba later on today. We didn't do much; I sat and read about the history of Pi. It was a very inspiring book about the evolution of not only that number, but also the struggles of mathematicians and scientists in medieval Europe. It told about Muslims' math works and Arabs who didn't ban such it like Europeans. The few chapters I read were very enlightening. **(B)**

Leaving, I requested Kaiba's driver take me home in the car. Not so. I now have Kaiba at the wheel again and I'm fearing for my life as I try, in vain, to find a seat belt.

"There are no seat belts back there," I am told. "It's a limousine, Bakura."

I scowl and hold the bottom of my seat. My grip is strong, I can tell this by how my arms shake at the force I cling with. My fingers are exceptionally pale on the tips. I don't want to shoot out the window if Kaiba should think of something funny and stop the car at SIXTY MILES AN HOUR! What the Hell was he thinking before? You don't just hit the brakes like that on anything, not even a bicycle or a push scooter. People get hurt, and as it so happens, I'm a very fragile people.

Finally I arrive home: alive. I'm all too thrilled to remove myself from that death trap, of sorts.

"Bakura?" I hear Kaiba ask. I turn around.

"Do you have Yuugi's number in your apartment?" he asks.

I nod, the simple request suddenly a threat to my life, should I not fulfill it, due to Kaiba's cold demeanour. "When are you going to call Yuugi?"

"After you get us together, obviously," he smarts back annoyingly.

"Sorry. Okay, wait here and I'll get it, it's on the fridge," I reply, and enter the hall.

Now, unlike most people, I do not commit others' phone numbers to memory. This might be bad if I were stranded in Tokyo, or arrested with one free call, but I'm not the person to do something that will get me into that kind of a situation. All the numbers I have are on my refrigerator upstairs in my apartment.

As I reach the door, I hear a noise inside the main room. I pause and put my ear to the wood. I can here someone crying inside. Quietly I unlock the door and look in.

I recognize Yuugi Motou's tri-colored hair. I'm about to go in and see what's the matter, when a half plan hits me. Quickly, I turn around and sneak downstairs again, signaling for Kaiba to not call my name as I come outside. Silently, I jump back into the car and the billionaire turns around to see me.

"Where is it?" Kaiba asks, holding out his hand. I shake my head.

"I don't have it."

"Great. I thought Yuugi was your friend."

"Well, something came up. Or, showed up."

"What?"

"Yuugi," I mutter. Kaiba shifts slightly and softens his tone.

"What? Where?" he asks me, though it's obvious.

"In the main room: crying."

"And you didn't help him _why_?" Kaiba asks angrily at my lack of attention to someone important to him.

"I kinda left him for you, idiot," I snap before I can choke back the insult. I'm under the tension of having to turn a sorrowful friend down and leave his needs to a centrally concerned businessman.

"Sorry," I apologize quickly.

"I've never hear you be so rude, Bakura," Kaiba muses, to my annoyance.

"Sorry. I was just thinking that since you want to 'connect' with Yuugi, that you'd want to see what was wrong."

"But won't it be weird that I'm at your apartment?" he asks, getting the idea.

I sigh and think. Yuugi thinks I'm going to come back from 'babysitting' Mokuba anytime now. I need to use this in some way.

I'm terrible at plotting.

Yuugi thinks I'm watching Mokuba. Yuugi thinks I'm watching Mokuba. Yuugi thinks I'm watching Mokuba. Yuugi thinks I'm watching Mokuba. Yuugi thinks I'm watching Mokuba. Yuugi thinks I'm watching Mokuba.

Suddenly I have an idea.

"Okay Yuugi thinks I'm watching Mokuba, right?" I brighten. Kaiba nods quickly,

hanging on every word.

"Well, you can go in and—sorry, here take the key," I cut off and reach into my pocket. Kaiba nods impatiently as I hand him the little piece of metal.

"And?" he smarts at my slowness.

"Sorry," I apologize, "You act like you're looking for where my room is because," I pause to breathe long. What? I'm nervous. "Because I'm staying at your mansion because me and Mokuba are getting along great and because I'm spending the night to do—whatever it is Mokuba does all night……."

"Sleep?" Kaiba answers.

"Yes, and I want a certain pair of pajamas or something that you come over to get."

"Toothbrush?" he suggests.

"Sure, whichever." I say as Kaiba makes to go. I stop him quickly, apologizing before I continue.

"Wait! And while you're up there I'll just, what? What do I do?" I ask.

"Sleep in the car," he offers and hastily makes to go. I grab his coat and he turns around.

"What?" he asks with a little anxious annoyance that is impeccably masked over with a furious tone.

"Feed my lobster," I order and let go. He blinks for a few seconds and nods.

"Sure," he says, walking away quickly before I can stop him again.

"Wait!!" I whisper loudly before he's out of hearing.

"Hell. What now, Bakura? This is the last time I'm stopping!" he sighs angrily.

"Keys, please?" I ask meekly, pointing to the car. He takes them from his pocket and tosses them.

To my great alarm and surprise, the keys are in my hands. I can't believe I caught them in the dark. Or maybe Kaiba throws well. Hastily, I climb into the back seat, closing the doors and locking them. I look around. It's pitch black, but for some artificial glow. I turn on my watch light to see the time. It's late already. I wonder if Kaiba will be able to actually befriend Yuugi up there?

Then I'll have to move on to bigger schemes, dates even. I wonder if I can think that much? I'm surprised I came up with the spending the night idea so fast. Maybe I'm not as entirely hopeless at planning as I like to think I am?

I'm not sure if I'm looking far enough into the future now. I have this great and terrible fiend clawing in my stomach, tying all my gut into knots, trying to tell me something's going wrong. I don't get it, it's all okay, and my plot isn't flawed at all. What could go wrong?

I just hope Kaiba remembers to feed my lobster.

There's a pitter-patter sound outside. I look out the window. The light from the nearby street lamp shines down on the car and I can see the rain as it hits the window.

I watch my old molasses world as it's cleaned up and I'm forced to find something else.

I know.

This is my chance to go first on something.

What a sentimental moment!

You're an idiot.

Oh, well that was rude! Thank you, that really adds to the moment.

Don't say it, I know; I'm just great that way.

Uh, yeah…

Just shut up.

**Notes and Stuff:  
**A: I got that bit reading an encyclopedia! It's not word for word, but it's a skim of the beginning of the article about France.  
B: "The History of Pi" a book by Petr Beckmann. Math history, how fascinating! I read it once a while back. Like Ryou, I only got through the first few chapters. So hey, I don't exactly know the 'history of Pi', come kill me now.


	5. Swallowing the World

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yugioh.

The pairings introduced right now:  
Anzu/Yami no Yuugi

The crushes introduced right now:  
Jounounchi/Mai  
Seto/Yuugi

Thanks to Relinquished for stepping up and beta-ing!

Warning, this chapter is sad (translate as you may).

* * *

**Chapter de Fifth: Swallowing the World**

I feel very sympathetic to all the portable luggage containers in the world. The trunks of automobiles are not very nice places, being cramped and hard to move around in.

Believe me, I know.

I woke up in Kaiba's car. I'd already planned another date by then, since I had trouble getting to sleep. Him and Yuugi were a success, he told me, driving home from the game shop. In the night, Kaiba had offered to take Yuugi home while I was still in the car. Kaiba called his cell phone and told me to get out of the car and go in the back. I would have just hid outside and waited till they left, but Yuugi was planning to meet me at Kaiba's after he got some sleep. So, I was forced to ride in the trunk, while my shortest friend got the back seat.

Now I'm at Kaiba's again, holding a staring contest with Mokuba. In all, I can assume I've only had two hours of sleep tonight. This is at maximum.

"You blinked!" Mokuba screams energetically when my eyes flutter closed. He's awake, alive. If any of us should die in their sleep, it would probably have to be me. I need to find whatever sugar supplement everyone seems to be taking. I'm the only one who has trouble sleeping, and then dozes off in class. I wish Ms. Teacher Lady would sell recordings of her lectures so I could sleep at night. She's got a gift.

"Bakura, you awake? Don't start sleeping again. Believe it or not, you're more boring when taking a nap," he orders, smacking the side of my head. My eyes shoot open and I glare at him. Can he not get it? I was up almost all night.

"You two having fun?" Kaiba asks. There's an annoying ring in his usually hollow voice that echoes. Well, someone's happy this morning. Go figure.

I sigh and place my head in my arms, staring at my bowl of undesired cereal. We are sitting in the dining room again, Kaibas having long finished off their breakfast and me just staring at mine.

"Are you gonna eat, Bakura?" Mokuba asks, eyeing my food ravenously.

I sigh and shake my head, pushing the bowl towards him. Mokuba grabs it and begins to consume my entire portion.

"Eat much, Mokuba?" I ask lazily.

"Do you?" Kaiba interjects.

I shake my head and look at the walls. There are two doors on three of these. There are four walls. That means there are six ways of entrance. I know this in my head, but I have to turn and count, just to make sure.

"Bakura, what are you doing?" Kaiba asks annoyed as I turn to make sure there are as many doors as I know there are. I look at the big two paneled exits/entrances. One and two behind me. A couple more to my right. The final pair at my left. Six doors.

"Bakura?" Kaiba asks again. I turn to him and my eyes widen. Four windows are behind him! Six and four are ten! Ten exit/entrances!

But then the doors are two paneled, so does that make them two separate ones?

"Kaiba, if a door has two sides that open and close, is it one door or just two very close together?" I ask him.

Kaiba looks at me and some surprise filters through his relaxed expression.

"I don't know, Bakura," he answers slowly. I watch the contemplation on his face. I find I tend to confuse Kaiba a lot. It's strange to watch his cold, hard expression turn to non-understanding and bewilderment.

I've come to assume he thinks I'm crazy. He's probably wondering what's wrong with me.

"I won't know how many entrances there are to this room," I lament to myself. I'm shocked at how disappointed I sound, but then, detail always gets me. That's why I'm not failing school. On essay questions, I give books about everything I learned during the lesson. This shows I _was _paying some kind of attention to Ms. Teacher Lady, and I present all my ideas reasonably, not randomly.

And I can't get anything wrong when I'm counting. I have to be correct, or my insides knot uncomfortably till I panic.

"You could count how many holes in the walls to make these doors or double doors," Kaiba suggests suddenly, surprising me. The information is straightforward and, suddenly, seems to be an obvious answer I should have found on my own.

I nod. This makes sense. How many openings were the walls given? Ten. It's ten with the windows.

I calm down and try to rest again.

"There, you happy now, Bakura?" he asks. I'm still surprised he was able to solve my dilemma.

"Yes, sorry about that," I mutter, hiding my head in my arms.

Yuugi always sat and waited it out when I had trouble over-thinking things. Otogi would make fun of me till he thought I'd stopped. I've never had someone actually find a loophole and work around the issue. I feel like I've cheated the law and it's still legal. I can't believe Kaiba found such an obvious solution. I can't believe he even tried to help. I wonder if he's had experience with insane persons? That would probably be it; that he's dealt with someone who did the same thing before. Kaiba's ability to just accept certain things about me makes me wonder. Otogi pretends like the problem never occurred, as does everyone else. Kaiba actually looks at it for a while, thinks, and gets over it, throwing in random advice that seems a lot better than Otogi's snarky comment, Yuugi's sympathetic looks, or, oh god, Jounouchi's lectures that make dead people glad they're just that.

The paranoid name thing was also a spout of idiocy. I guess, since Kaiba thinks everyone's a moron, I'm okay because I'm below his wonderful ego trip, body and mind. Of course, Kaiba tried to convince me that the name bits were old fashioned, but I'm not good with new ideas. I'm still trying to rein in that compulsive spurt telling me to be selfish and original.

And they call Jounouchi a pathetic dog.

I look at my empty cereal bowl next to Mokuba and straighten up in my seat. It looks like all of us are done with breakfast.

"When's Yuugi coming over?" I ask, standing up. Kaiba does likewise.

"Eight or nine," Kaiba informs me as we leave the room. I nod my head quietly and head for the library.

"Where are you going, Bakura?" Kaiba asks, following quickly.

"Library, that's were all the pens and paper are. I need to plan this out."

"What are you planning?" Kaiba asks as we enter the library and I grab the items I need.

"You and Yuugi's first date, Kaiba," I let him know as I sit at the table. "We have roughly an hour till he comes and you're going to invite him to dinner."

Kaiba nods enthusiastically, though his face is as impassive as ever. This is actually a strange, curious thing to see. I wonder vaguely if Yuugi was able to change some of that emotionless expression last night.

"Do you know any good restaurants? Yuugi likes Asian," I tell him, pen poised and ready to mark my paper.

"Dai Dai," he suggests. I blink at him moronically for a few seconds before it hits me. This is the name of a restaurant.

"Is it near the city park?" I ask quickly, somehow thinking to make up for my slow, mindless phase by talking as fast as I can, politely. I've never heard of Dai Dai. It's probably too expensive for me to even dream about.

"Yes," he tells me. I write down the name.

"Okay, you take Yuugi there and let him order whatever he wants," I command childishly.

"The reason I wouldn't do this?" he asks. He's kidding in that totally unfunny Kaiba way. I glare at him.

"Okay Kaiba, just who is planning here, you or me?"

Kaiba nods and lets me continue. I'm trying to recall the idea I got last night and not fall asleep at the same time.

"Okay, you go there and eat, say it's like a cheer up celebration or something." I start recollecting and writing as Kaiba listens closely.

"Then you take him to the park, Yuugi likes it there, by the water fountain." Kaiba nods at every pause.

"Now there's a flower vender just a few turns away, behind the trees," I continue while copying the layout of the park near the fountain; "You leave him alone in this clearing by the pretty lights."

"What?" Kaiba asks, surprised he's going to leave Yuugi.

"I'll come up and talk with him while you get flowers. Yuugi likes red roses, but this date is going to be under friendship so you'll have to see if the man selling has any mums, since Yuugi thinks that it's a funny name."

"Why do you talk to Yuugi?" he asks, unsure about that point.

"I'm going to convince him you're great and must really like him, and that _no_, you are not an egotistical maniac, because you're doing all this wonderfully nice stuff. Till I leave, you hide behind the trees and wait, okay?"

Kaiba nods again, looking over my notes.

"And then what do I do?" he asks, skimming the paper.

"Talk, walk, whatever till you take Yuugi home I guess." I conclude lamely as my thinking burst stops.

Kaiba studies my diagram of the park. "Is this really what the park looks like?"

"Yes, of course," I growl at his judge of my mapping skills.

"Really?" he asks, raising his eyebrows at the primitive circle with something that looks like wings coming out the top. That happens to be my unique interpretation of the water fountain.

"Believe me, that's the park, I've been there," I sigh, snatching the paper back from the art expert.

"When? Sounds like a romantic spot, Bakura," he remarks with a slight smirk.

"Otogi showed me before I broke the news that I was cheating on him with my toothbrush," I inform him, not caring how stupid this sounds. He's already convinced I'm insane.

"You don't say," Kaiba says, a little nervously.

"Yes, I let the brush in my mouth every night after we went out. I told him it taste better." I grin.

"You and your friends are crazy, Bakura. I hope Yuugi doesn't two time me with mouthwash."

"You never know, that kid's quite the heartbreaker."

* * *

Otogi laughs as I repeat to him what I told Seto Kaiba about the toothbrush. We're in a fast food restaurant and quite a few people are watching him nervously.

"I remember that!" he rejoices. "You broke my heart that day, you know."

I look down and smile while he, mildly, roars.

"So Kaiba's got something for our little Motou?" he asks again.

"Yes, and he wants me to help. I still can't believe I've progress so much from 'babysitting' Mokuba."

"You know," Otogi remarks with mock seriousness, "I never would have guessed."

"I know, they never did seem to talk much, did they?" I add, as Otogi grins stupidly again. It's obvious this isn't true; Yuugi was the only one of all of us who talked to, or even mentioned, Kaiba in conversation.

"So, you have them going to the park and Kaiba's buying mums?" he asks, to make sure.

"Yes, I made it all up last night."

"Well I'm proud for you then, you can arrange marriages, Bakura," he says. I've told Otogi about my brain's death when it came to strategy and organization many times before.

"And you're going to convince Yuugi that Kaiba is what he needs? Interesting, I'd like to see you mess that up, Mahout." He smirks. I glare at him. I hate that name. It isn't even Japanese; it's from India or something. I don't even know why he calls me that.

Elephant driver? Why, Otogi?

"I'm not going to mess up, so you'll have nothing to observe, Inu Baka," I snap back casually.

"Ouch, where did you learn that one? Kaiba?" he remarks, feigning moral injury.

"You, actually," I answer. I do learn my insults from Otogi; he has a colourful opinion sometimes.

"I'd never say that," Otogi replies, sounding sarcastically insulted.

I sigh and shake my head at him. He knows he says a lot worse than how I'd be willing to insult.

"I'm genuinely surprised you're helping Kaiba get Yuugi," Otogi says, after a moment of silence. I turn to him in amusement, only to see his face isn't very comical.

"Why?" I ask curiously.

"I don't know. I always thought you'd be better with Kaiba, personally," he remarks.

"Hell no." I choke. What is he trying to pull?

Otogi's face is still thoughtful, and he isn't smirking. I watch him, surprised, as there is little reason for him to tell me such a thing. I've never thought of myself with Kaiba; never ever. He's untouchable, rich and way too high for my father's new fashion modesty knowing his place in middle class, which I just happened to pick up. Kaiba wanted something, someone, and could get them, not vice versa.

"It's just how you act. You don't insult others back unless you're annoyed, and then you're only joking," this new, self-appointed personality expert tells me.

"Everyone lashes out at Kaiba except you and Yuugi. You also don't talk a lot and any egocentric idiot would appreciate that, as he could get his words in without having to worry that you'll try to solve the problem unless asked," Otogi tells me. He makes me sound like such a pushover.

I glare at Otogi. Okay, I guess I know now that Otogi can't read my mind. I'm a terribly rude person up in my thoughts.

"What are you trying to do to me, Otogi?" I ask, paining the politeness with vocal strain.

"Ruin your life, remember?" he smarts. It seems everyone loves to snap back at me these days with annoyed sarcasm. I can only match this in my thoughts, as I never really liked bothering people too much.

"Well, please stop it soon," I request.

"When I get around to it." He sighs, "But you and Kaiba look good together."

"When did you see us together?" I ask in alarm.

"My dirty little mind," he sneers.

"You pervert. Why am I still talking to you?"

We're interrupted before Otogi can answer.

"Hey, Bakura!" a voice yells not very happily behind me. I cringe, as though death just laid a bone cold hand on my shoulder. No, it wasn't Anzu, it was worse. "I wanna talk to you!"

"Good afternoon, Jounouchi," I greet, as he comes into my vision. He's glaring like mad.

I'm so very happy Jounouchi hasn't acquired laser beams for his eyes. Otherwise I'd be nothing more than a few charred remains.

"I didn't get to talk with you about your," he pauses in disgust, "decision."

I creep down lower into my chair as Otogi smirks. I hope Otogi stays, or Jounouchi will kill me. I think I'm about to have one of those near death experiences I've read about.

Jounouchi grabs a chair and sits across from me.

"Why did you spend the night at Kaiba's last night?" he asks. I look at him confused. Why, what did _he _think I was doing?

"Oh yes, Bakura, what were you doing? Do tell, do tell!" Otogi mocks even though he knows. I just told him.

"Kaiba wanted me to help with something, why?" I question him.

"Well thank God you still call him Kaiba, I don't want to hear any of that Seto stuff like Yuugi," he complains and then sits forward seriously.

"Now, let me get one point to you," Jounouchi sets up for a lecture. Otogi yawns loudly and Jounouchi glares at him.

"Do you mind?" Jounouchi asks.

"Well, no," Otogi replies flatly. Jounouchi just sighs and continues.

"Kaiba is a bad thing for everyone and it would be best that he was never born, understand?" Jounouchi says. Ouch, it was best if Kaiba was never born? I'm starting to wonder who's nicer to the enemy, Kaiba or Jounouchi.

"You should never help and/or support Kaiba in ANYTHING at all." He states. Looks a lot like I broke a rule there.

"Stop babysitting Mokuba." He orders, as Otogi starts to laugh. Jounouchi glares at him more intensely.

"What so funny?" he growls. Otogi bursts out again at the doggie sound in the question.

"Will you shut up while I talk to Bakura?" Jounouchi snaps. Slowly, Otogi calms down.

"What makes you think Bakura's going to listen to you?" he asks with a wide grin.

"Because I know what's best for him, unlike you, Clown boy," Jounouchi says. I'm offended. Since when did Jounouchi know wherein my best interests lay? I also watch Otogi's face grow frighteningly dark. Only I can call him a clown and live, because of our joke. From anyone else, it's an insult.

"Say that again, Katsuya," Otogi challenges, looking very frightening. I all but hide under the table as they size each other up. I decide quickly that I'm on Otogi's side. He's very mad now.

"You're father's a clown, you're a dice freak, and the only reason we talk to you is because Yuugi's nice to everyone and you've won over Bakura," Jounouchi snaps.

I've never heard someone insult Otogi so much in one sentence, ever. Neither has Otogi apparently, since all he does is stare, helpless, at the man-eating dog's wrath. I feel sorry for him, not because what Jounouchi says is the truth, but that Otogi sometimes tells me he thinks it is so. I try to convince him it's not, but he just shrugs the matter off and changes the subject. Really, I'm Otogi's one good friend, his only real friend, and not there because he's rich like everyone else he knows in school. That's why he always tries to help me, even when I think he's just being difficult. Now, as Jounouchi's words strike home, he is powerless to their effect.

"Stop it," I order, rising up from my position on the ground suddenly. I'm just as surprised at what I'm doing as the two of them are.

"Otogi, you're father's a clown," Otogi glares at me and Jounouchi smirks. I turn to him, "and Jounouchi, shouldn't you be busy hitting on Mai or something and not trying to help me?"

Jounouchi pales as he stares at me. Jounouchi loves Mai more than any of his other crushes, he's down right obsessed with the _girl _(yes, Jounouchi is strange). I know this, even though Jounouchi denies it all the time. Bringing it up does not improve his mood.

"Shut up," Jounouchi snaps and I bail, quickly sitting down. I'm shocked at what I just did. I think I'm going insane now. Jounouchi isn't a bad person and I just insulted him. Why did I do that? He's going to think Kaiba is rubbing off on me. I know this, and also that then no one's going to think of me the same. I'll be the little Kaiba disciple and they will snub me. Then Kaiba will finally get Yuugi and drop all attention from my existence. Finally I'll be alone, what I deserve.

I start to study the specks of grease on the table as Jounouchi storms out. Otogi is watching me, surprised, and nervously I start muttering, counting the dots aloud.

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen—"

There is a hand on my head and I keep counting.

"Bakura?" Otogi asks.

"Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty—"

"Ryou, look at me," he tries again.

"Please, leave me alone," I mutter and get up, brushing past him and out the door.

Otogi doesn't follow as I'm having my mental breakdown. I don't need to be followed now; I need to crack up in peace.

Once again, I feel like I'm in a terrible place, a cramped place, like the boot of a certain limousine. I'm tense and I want to get out, snap and yell at everyone who's ever ticked me off. I want to take on official, national treasure out with a lighter and see which has the stronger appeal.

I want to ruin someone else's life the same way mine has been thrown. I want to distract them as the world turns, then leave for them to try and find the pace again by themselves. I want to grab all their morals away, tell them what to dream, and then let them observe all they want. As they try to get to what they want, I tow it all farther away.

I want to treat the world like it's treated, and is treating, me. I was comfortable before, thinking of others though they never thought I should. Watching as everyone climbed, while I supported the last steps, when everyone else had failed to a certain point; this was how I helped. Someone was crying, they were sad, I was there right before they became okay and just talked them through or did nothing at all. Nobody wanted my attention and I didn't really want to give it.

Then I discovered this person named Ryou Bakura, who attacked me, grabbed my thoughts and forced me to think about myself. I couldn't do it at all. I could not see a person at all. I saw a little bug, trapped in molasses, taking every cold wind as it blew, contently slurping away at my sugary existence.

But Ryou Bakura wasn't happy stuck in the goo. He kicked me out and got rid of the mess, till I slowly became obsessed with the idea of change, of helping others before they wanted it and praying it all didn't blow up in my face.

Now I'm here, hurting friends, and for what? To help some emotionally deficient businessman and his secret obsession over a prodigious little duellist, who I will kill the tormenter of? I'm going to place people in challenging positions and watch them try to get out, never suspecting I meant to do this?

Yeah, I'd actually do that. Sure.

I could never be that cruel, I could never smirk that sadistically, and I could never even stay that atrocious in my thoughts. I can't believe I want to take the world and just swallow it whole. I'd never want to kick it down, to where I couldn't see.

I'm a good person, even if I prove to have the current bought of melodramatic sessions.

If you want to point fingers, my other self is in the ring and my fading father is in Egypt somewhere.

But I'm not depressed, no. I'm okay. I'm fine.

I wonder how Kaiba and Yuugi are right now. Are they okay for tonight?

I'm happy here and I have a date to catch, alone by the pretty lights in the park. Yuugi will be there with Kaiba and I can't miss my cue.

Excuse me while I try to make a list of all the wonderful things about the great one and only, Seto Kaiba.

This may take a while now.

But I'm not depressed, no. I'm okay. I'm fine.

_(Just keep telling yourself that, baka.)_

* * *

I look around the dim park. Mokuba sits at my shoulder with the binoculars, legs dangling limply from the tree branch he is on. I have the feeling we look like a pair of sick perverts now and are just waiting to be found and kicked out of the park for life.

"Are they out yet?" I ask quietly.

"No," he mutters, "but that that couple by the oak is sure getting it on."

"What?" I ask as Mokuba smirks. "Were you even watching for Kaiba and Yuugi, or are you too interested in other peoples' lives?"

Mokuba smirks at me again and adjusts the focus.

"Give me those," I command, grabbing the binoculars.

I turn the scopes to the Dai Dai restaurant, a few blocks away, just in time to see Yuugi and the billionaire exit together.

"Here they come, you stay here," I order.

"Aw, why couldn't you put me in this plan somewhere? What do I get to do while you tell Yuugi how awesome Seto is?"

"Count leaves?" I suggest, jumping down from the branch I've been perched on for two hours and walking away. Mokuba pouts and continues spying around the area.

My legs are a bit sore as I progress to the fountain. I sit on the long, round rim and await my moment to appear. The stone is very cold and I'm thankful I don't have to freeze long.

"Here Yuugi, wait here as I go get some flowers from that vender behind the trees, I want them to be a little surprise," I hear Kaiba order softly.

"Okay, Seto, I'll wait, if you really want to surprise me." Yuugi answers.

I listen as Kaiba walks away. When his footsteps are no longer very audible, I decide to get Yuugi's attention.

"Hello, Yuugi!" I greet from my seat on the fountain. He turns around, surprised.

"Bakura?" he asks in pleasant alarm, "what are you doing here? Are you by yourself? Jounouchi told me you blew up at him and Otogi today, what happened?"

I blush and look down. "Nothing, just feeling a bit," I pause and try to find a word, "tense, that's all. I guess with so many of you all angry at me because of the whole Mokuba thing, you know."

"I'm really sorry about that, Bakura," Yuugi apologizes.

"It isn't your fault, Yuugi," I defend him from himself.

Yuugi walks over and watches me sadly. I wonder how pathetic I must look, sitting on the rim of a beautiful water fountain in the dark, at such a romantic spot, like I'm a depressed alone soul who's gotten terribly lost.

"But I should have told them to give you a break, that you were just trying to be nice to Seto," he complains. I look at him with a look, which, I hope, is pleasant alarm.

"Seto Kaiba?" I ask. "Weren't you just walking with him?"

Yuugi blushes slightly and looks at his feet. "Yeah, he's been real nice lately."

"You don't say? What has he been doing?" I ask.

"All sorts of things. You know about yesterday, of course, where he saw me at your apartment?" I nod for him to keep going. "And now he's just brought dinner at that restaurant Dai Dai, not very cheap. For your sake, I didn't request anything with lobster. Seto thought it was funny."

"He did, did he now? That doesn't sound like the Kaiba all the rest of us know," I say, egging more billionaire praise from Yuugi.

"Well he's different." Yuugi pauses as an idea hits him. "Remember when I told you about the eyes?" he asks. My heart involuntarily begins to race as I recollect my thoughts about how Yuugi would love Kaiba's eyes.

"Yes," I reply, slightly short of breath, "yes, I remember that you said you wanted to banish all that hardness and see how beautiful his gaze could really be."

Yuugi blinks at me slightly and I blush. "Um, I probably exaggerated it a bit, but you understand, Yuugi. You speak kinda dramatically sometimes."

"Well, yeah," Yuugi forgives me. "Seto has pretty eyes."

"Is that all?" I ask tauntingly. Yuugi blushes now.

"No," he mutters.

"Do you like Kaiba?" I ask it a bit frankly. Yuugi nods, redder that I think I could have ever been. "Do you think he likes you too?"

Yuugi looks down nervously. I quickly decide to save him from his doubts.

"I think he does,' I whisper quietly. Yuugi looks at me hopefully and I can't help but smile.

"You do?" he asks happily.

"Well yes, I mean look at all the things he's done for you. He's forgotten to get my toothbrush to comfort you," I begin to tick off on my fingers, "he's let you come to his house to see me today. He's taken you out to dinner and paid. And he's walked with you in the park. In fact, where is he now?" I ask.

"He's buying me surprise flowers," the bashful boy answers.

"See? He buys you," my voice cracks suddenly, against my will, and I cough loudly to clear it, "He buys you--flowers, now."

Yuugi nods, ignoring my emotional reflex into tearless chokes. I suddenly picture Kaiba getting bored with the Motou and leaving him far behind, alone and broken. I remember the feeling of rejection I received when my father left for months. I was like Yuugi before then, polite and loved by all for my charismatic nature. Now everyone feels sorry for my frequent depression. I realize now that, if Kaiba hurts Yuugi, I will kill him. I watch over the Motou like Otogi watches over me. I can't let the billionaire do anything that may scar Yuugi's outlook forever.

"I think I really like Seto, Bakura," Yuugi tells me. I'm slightly surprised, and happy, that no one has ever heard these words but me. I smile at him.

"I think you do, too," I say, because repeating Yuugi back to himself negates me having to say anything substantial. Yuugi smiles back for a while, until there's a dramatic change.

Yuugi looks up at me sadly and I try to remember if I'd said anything wrong. He looks ready to cry and, suddenly, I'm scared for him; that something is killing him and I don't know.

"What is it, Yuugi?" I ask fearfully.

"You," he remarks and I almost scream. How can I ruin such a wonderful night for him?

"What have I done…? I don't understand, Yuugi." I ask worried.

Yuugi sighs and shakes his head. "Bakura, I'm happy and I know it, okay? But you, I can't see what's wrong with you," he complains lightly. I watch him in surprise.

"I'm here falling happily for Seto while you're all alone. I just realized that you're always alone. You'd rather see everyone else happy while you stay down and I wonder: why? How can you do that? I'm nervous that you're going to kill yourself or something, and none of us will know what happened to make you so sad."

"That's not going to happen Yuugi, I'm not going to hate you for falling in love. I want to see you and Seto together, I want to see you happy," I say nervously. Did Yuugi always worry about me when he did things? Why do all my friend have such low opinions of my emotional stability? I'm just quiet.

"You're lying to yourself, Bakura. Nobody is that unselfish!" he sighs in frustration at me, "It's obvious in how you blew up at Jounouchi and Otogi. I can't believe you ran from Otogi, you and him are such great friends! Something's bothering you."

I look at Yuugi, confused. How did a conversation about Kaiba turn to ugly me so soon?

"But I want you thinking about Kaiba now, Yuugi," I plead. "I'll feel guilty if you worry about me while you're with him. Kaiba loves you and you love him. Don't worry about me, I don't need a relationship I don't want to feel okay; I'm fine by myself."

I try to get him to understand. I try to make him see he has to love Kaiba and not wonder if I'm going to 'kill myself or something'. I don't care about being alone; I've always been alone. I'm a very patient and passive person. I didn't mean to yell at Jounouchi earlier, but I'm over it. He needs to get over it too.

I look around desperately for Kaiba to save me. I'm suddenly scared to see him, though. He needs to be with Yuugi and Yuugi needs to be with him, I don't know why, but it has to be that way. I planned this, it has to work, or I'll break down. I'll fall apart if this bombs. They aren't supposed to think about anyone but each other, not the little Matchmaker 2003 here. I've done my part.

"I gotta go, Yuugi," I excuse myself hastily. I suddenly don't want to be here when Kaiba comes. I messed up, now Yuugi will not be thinking about him, he'll be worrying about my sanity. I don't want Kaiba to see what a horrible mistake I've made for him to deal with.

I walk away swiftly, with one last look over my shoulder at Yuugi's face. Yuugi is a caring person, full of sympathy for others. Seto is a distant mind; concerned with what he loves and trying to solve all the problems he sees, just to prove he is an existence to be reckoned with. I'm a half person, locking my goals and dreams away till I can't see them and running to the corners of the world for others.

Well, I'm a worried person now. I might as well have stabbed Yuugi with a knife. I realized I just made the pairing from hell. It will never work. One of the two will get hurt, if not both. They might blame me. The world is over.

I can see now why I'm never the first to solve things. I'm a stupid idiot who seriously needs a check with reality sometime soon. I've just ruined the lives of two people who have tried to help me in their own ways. Yuugi tried to help me recover a bit of the normalness I lost so long ago, and Seto tried to help me deal with the weirdness I'm forced to live with now.

Count the holes in the wall for each door, Bakura. Are you okay now?

"What do you want?" I snap at my lobster as he taps the tub with his claw. I've walked all the way home in my depression. Now I'm sitting on the bathroom floor next to the only other living thing in the house. He taps the tub again as if asking me to explain.

"I just swallowed the world and it's now being destroyed. Enjoy the last days of your life," I say. The lobster just waves his antenna.

"It's not my fault!" I yell at him as he taps the tub mockingly, "I didn't mean to do it!"

The lobster splashes at me and it sounds like he hates me too.

"Stop, I didn't mean to!" I cry, very near tears. "I just wanted to help. That's what I do, I help people!" I exclaim, before storming from the room and locking the lobster inside. I can still hear him moving around, telling me how horrible I've been, that I should have just waited till Yuugi asked for my help in getting him a boyfriend. I should have made sure Kaiba really did like Yuugi, wasn't just fond of him.

I fall into the couch, not even able to start crying as I remember what Yuugi said about me being alone, how I thought I liked it.

I don't, it's actually the most terrible thing in the world. I'm never not alone anymore with that other self in my head, if you'll excuse the correct form of double negatives. No one sees this; no one understands how hard I take separation.

And now everyone is going to leave me because I've failed. They will all blame the future break up on me and my stupid strategy.

I'm horrible at planning. I thought if I swallowed the world, I could claim it, take control. I thought I could shove the humanity, the selfishness in me, down under some cover, where it all would eventually be smothered.

But it's too much for me; I'm dying of lacking to digest what I've taken in.

As my life falls apart, one thought will take over my mind at last:

It's my fault I'm alone, and I always will be. **(A)**

* * *

**Notes and stuff:**

A: Hehe, I decided not to have Yami no Bakura put his two cents in there. I let this end all emotional and junk.

That has got to me my shortest chapter yet and less funny, don't you agree?


	6. A Job Too Well Done

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yugioh

The pairings introduced right now:  
Anzu/Yami no Yuugi  
Seto/Yuugi

The crushes introduced right now:  
Jounounchi/Mai  
Ryou/Seto

Thanks to Relinquished for beta reading again!

Okay, this chapter is pathetic, not very funny, and hitting the cliché's at every turn. This is where the 'Ryou falls for Seto' finally locates the "ENTER" sign to my plot. Happy now, Wildwolf? If not, chapter ten will probably please you (if I stop editing it like I'm obsessed…or…something…).

* * *

**Chapter de Sixth: A Job Too Well Done**

"What is your problem, Bakura?" Mokuba scowls me as I lose once again at checkers in three moves.

"Headache," I sigh.

"Take a pain killer."

"Where?" I ask wearily.

"Bathroom, duh, no, we keep the drugs out in the parlor, on the table, so anyone who stops by can treat themselves," he sighs at my idiocy.

I nod and walk to the bathroom. Kaiba's house is so big; I wonder why he doesn't have male/female rooms. So many people actually visit while I'm watching Mokuba that I wonder if there's some attraction here I can't see.

Oh yes, purple-white haired freak whose going insane, only five dollars to observe. **(A)**

Don't forget the gift shop on the way out.

"Someone's in here, go down the hall," I announce as a fist knocks on the bathroom door. I'm staring at the wall and picturing little phone numbers written all over it. "Jenny: 867-5309" crosses my mind. **(B)**

"What are you doing, Bakura?" I hear Kaiba ask.

"Counting wallflowers," I holler back.

"Yeah right, Bakura," I hear him smirk annoyingly, "If you were counting you'd just ignore me."

I frown at my reflection. That snob knows me too well. I shake a few non-aspirins out of the jar and scowl as I see I'll have to get water unless I want to chew them. My father chews aspirin when he's suffering from a migraine. It's really kind of eerie and frightening to see someone do that so quickly, not even trying to wash the flavour out. He had very bad stress headaches and I'm starting to wonder if I picked that up as well.

"Can I not use the bathroom in peace, Kaiba?" I ask, sitting on the rim of the tub and glaring down the door. I listen as he walks off and I look at the tiny white pills. I will never intentionally put something in my mouth that will taste awful unless I can wash it out.

I open the door and walk to the dinning room where there is always cold water and glasses. I pour some and down one little pill.

"What are you doing?" Kaiba asks and I look across the room surprised to where he stands. I can see he wants to tell me something by the slightly anxious order in his eyes for me to hurry it up though he is looking otherwise like his usual impassive self.

Well, he also looks a bit concerned at me taking medication.

"I have a headache and I'm taking some non-aspirins. Why, is it a crime?" I ask in slight annoyance. My head really hurts.

"No," he answers. I nod and swallow the second one.

"What do you want to tell me?" I ask after I finish. Kaiba looks at me surprised that I could know such a thing when he hadn't said a word about it. Hey, if he's going to brag about how well he knows me, I'm going to flaunt my knowledge about him as well.

"Don't you want to know how your plan worked?" he asks. I cringe. I wish I didn't know how it was going to fail eventually. I nod slowly.

"Everything went according to your plan, you know," he informs me, "Yuugi laughed at the mums like you said he would, and he does like Asian food."

I nod quietly. Was he sure Yuugi wasn't laughing at him and not the mums? Kaiba holding large, puffy flowers would look quite funny when you think about it.

Kaiba sounds almost happy for once. I sigh slightly at the irony that something that makes him so glad is going to cause him so much pain once it fades.

And this is my fault.

"What are you going to do next?" I ask sleepily as I've already mentally complained all I could over this mistake. I might as well watch it crash and burn from the little spectators' stand I've made.

"I don't really know," he ponders. I'm not alarmed at the puzzled expression now. I'm used to that, he's only human. What would scare me now is concern for my well-being, and not just in Kaiba's eyes. No, after everyone finds out my greatest error, I won't expect any of them to want me near their safe worlds.

"Maybe there are some current events you could drag him to?" I suggest. I hope I can save them both though. I hope I can make them stay together even if it's wrong. I don't want to see myself fail now.

Yes, I know I'm being entirely self-oriented, but I don't want to be alone. I don't want Kaiba to go and tell the world what a horrible person I am after he finds out my flaw. If he does, I'll be snubbed wherever I go.

This is why you never mess with the faces that shape the world. They can kill you when it goes wrong.

"There's a concert tomorrow at the theatre," Kaiba suggests, "its orchestra; but they're good."

"Yeah, Yuugi will like that," I say. I grab an orange and look at the bumpy texture.

"You know if you eat that now, it will be the first thing I've ever seen you eat." He motions at the fruit I'm holding.

"Really?" I ask. I never noticed this before.

"Yes," he answers. I'm a bit surprised now at his boldness. I don't know if Kaiba realizes how badly he is freaks me out sometimes.

"So, are you going to take Yuugi to the concert?" I ask, putting the orange back in it's bowl.

Kaiba nods. I progress to studying some cherries. He walks up and takes one from the cluster and I just watch. I suddenly don't want him close to me, in case he can read my mind and discover my erroneous planning.

"So how are you coming?" he asks. I look at him surprised.

"What?"

"How are you coming with us?" he restates his question.

"Why would I go?" I'm confused. What could I possibly do besides just break down and confess my fear that him and Yuugi will never work? If I see the two together again, I just might do that.

"Advice. What if Yuugi does something I don't understand and I say the wrong thing about it?" he asks. There is a slight worry in his voice, but this is all strategy. He needs an informant on stand-by. Kaiba Seto refuses to be caught off guard.

"Why? Did he do that yesterday?" I ask, terrified Yuugi had said something about me and was bringing this ship down faster than I expect.

"Well, yeah, he did," Kaiba syas slightly shocked I realized this.

"He's probably just worrying about something, Yuugi does that a lot." I inform him quickly.

"What does he possibly have to think of so much?" Kaiba muses. I know the answer. He's worried about me and now every time he sees Kaiba he's going to wonder about what's all wrong with my life. Kaiba has noticed Yuugi distancing. This is worst than I thought. This is terrible. This isn't supposed to happen. This is the end for me.

"Stuff," I answer softly and choke back at the same time. I doubt Kaiba can hear me.

"What?" he asks.

"Stuff, all sorts of stuff. He cares about everyone and everything. That's the person he is, he's good. Don't worry about it," I inform him as I back up as fast as possible without seeming rude.

Without seeming rude my foot! I'm all but running out of the room.

"Are you okay, Bakura?" Kaiba calls as I reach one of the ten exit/entrances.

"I'm fine," I mutter and open the door, leaping out.

* * *

_Bakura, spell 'the end' please.  
"M-Y, space, S-T-U-P-I-D-I-T-Y."  
Correct, A plus one hundred. _

I look around the large theatre that the concert will be held in tomorrow. The plan is I get to be an usher. This means I stand by the door and hold it opened for people, checking their seat numbers if there's a mix up. Kaiba got the theatre to let us practice my role. They also agreed to let me man the left door: man it down to hell.

At least that's where I think all of this is going to end up.

But this was Kaiba's ingenious plan, not mine.

"Now when I was an usher, this place wasn't half the size it is now. This may prove hard for you, Bakura."

"Why did you need to work here anyway?"

"Dragon Dice, and Dungeons wasn't always such a hot game," Otogi answers for the fifth time, "Now pay attention."

"But didn't the school not let you work?" I ask again like I have been for the past thirty minutes.

"I didn't go to school back then, Bakura, I was home taught," he sighs. I don't know why he's still bothering to answer the questions.

"Will you shut it and listen to him already, Bakura?" Kaiba orders from where he's sitting on the back row.

I silence my redundant inquisition about Otogi's past occupation of ushering. I keep asking for the same answers, wording all the inquiries differently. I had hoped that if I didn't learn what to do by three when the theatre kicks us out, then I wouldn't have to be there when the concert starts tomorrow and Kaiba comes with Yuugi.

"Kaiba, don't be so rude to Bakura!" Otogi snaps while I count the chairs around the frightening businessman.

"He's not participating," Kaiba scowls.

"So, he doesn't like people yelling at him to shut up," Otogi defends me, "And he was talking to _me_. You can tell him to behave when he gets the manic desire to speak to you, baka."

When I wasn't asking questions, Kaiba and Otogi where arguing with one another. It was funny when we picked Otogi up and he got in the car. Kaiba doesn't like Otogi very much, I soon learned. They bickered about how rude the other was and who happened to be more polite. If Kaiba said something to me, Otogi reprimanded him for being an ego. It was vice versa when Otogi made fun of me.

"You're going to let him talk his way out of our plan?" Kaiba growls. I never did agree with him about the ushering thing, but the guy is terrified Yuugi might start dying or something and that for some reason _I'd_ know exactly what to do.

__

KAIBA: Oh god, Yuugi's stopped breathing! Get Bakura!  
ANNOUNCER VOICE: Never fear, Bakura is here!  
SUPER BAKURA: "Don't worry, I lay my hands on him and ta-da!"

Yuugi comes back to life.  
_YUUGI: Wow, great thing Bakura was here!  
SUPER BAKURA: "Thank you, I'll go man the door now."  
ANNOUNCER VOICE: Once again, Super Bakura saves the day!_

"Did he even agree?" Otogi asks Kaiba then, waking me from my thoughts.

"He's doing this for me and Yuugi," Kaiba lashes smartly.

"I can see the Yuugi thing, but when does Bakura care about making _you _happy?"

I sit down quietly. Maybe if they argue for the next hour I'll be off the hook? Then they can only blame themselves for my lack of knowledge in the trade of ushering people around the theatre.

"Fine, you can tell him what to do." Kaiba scowls, getting up from his seat and making for the door, "I can't because I've never gone so low as to have to lead people to their seats."

"At least I didn't have to pay outrageous amounts to see the show!" Otogi calls as Kaiba leaves. I hear the door out of the lobby slam shut.

"I don't see why you like that baka, Bakura," he sighs.

"I don't, Otogi," I remind him quietly.

"Well then I don't know what Yuugi or you see to be nice to him," he scowls and sits down.

"Neither do I," remark glumly into the stiff, old theatre air. Otogi smirks.

"I know, Kaiba's just _so _full of charisma!" he jokes.

I smile politely and continue counting chairs. That's not all that the billionaire's full of. How about himself? He will not take no for an answer, the phrases "you can't" and "I won't" don't exist till he uses them on others.

Kaiba wants me to be usher badly, but if Yuugi does something, he must realize I might not know what to do about it. I don't think he sees I do not have a mind link with the Motou; I just worry about his safety because he reminds me of myself before I was sundered from everything. My father didn't realize just how strongly I clung to him when he used to drag me around on his trips. He finally dumped me off in Domino, away from my mother and sister. I hardly knew I had a sister even before both of them were gone. My mother was angry with my father for taking me away from her and the family; I was her pride, the son, and she was always more than willing to spoil me. I think she'd hate me though if she saw me now, a weak, shy person with no voice whatsoever. She was always quite ruthless about how she thinks men and boys should behave.

She was. She's not here anymore.

My parents were married when my father took me on those long business trips; don't think otherwise. This was only because my mother wouldn't say she'd made a mistake, getting married to a weak man, an archeologist. What job is less socially oriented than that? My father is quiet and I end up more like him, only he's not gay. I don't know if he ever has been; so don't ask.

"Bakura, are you counting the chairs?" Otogi asks. I just keep numbering. I'm on one hundred fifteen now.

"Please stop, I'm not going to just ignore you because you're spacing out. Do you want to learn how to usher or not?" he asks in frustration. For once, I will myself to stop counting.

"Yes," I answer. I'll do this for Kaiba, just to prove that I don't hate him like Otogi made it sound when arguing.

"I can't believe you're going to do this," he mutters as he stands up. I follow him to the door I get to rule over tomorrow night. I open it slowly and look out at the lobby. Outside the window, I see Kaiba's car has gone. My apartment is only a few blocks away though so this is not an issue.

"Now, you open the door inward," Otogi, instructs.

I nod and try to remember everything.

* * *

"I'm pleased you decided to help, Bakura," Kaiba thanks me in his hard emotionless way. I nod and shift uncomfortably in my uniform. It's an ugly black suit thing with silver fringe hanging at what seems an extremely random interval every few inches and turns. It is very warm and I hope the theatre is colder tonight than it was yesterday afternoon. I feel like the temperature could drop to negative thirty and I wouldn't know it.

I enter the lobby as he drives off to pick up Yuugi. The rest of the staff waves to me politely and I nod. One woman comes up to me with an annoying grin.

"Hello, you must be Ryou," she greets.

"Bakura," I correct her. She looks at me confused.

"Call me Bakura, not Ryou," I inform her. She blushes slightly as she realizes her error and what this could have meant to someone a lot more outspoken.

"Oh yes," she beams. I don't like her very much; she is too fake looking. Her smile is too big and she talks too airily.

"You know what to do, Bakura?" she asks. I nod.

"Good, then go by the left door as we let the audience in," she commands lightly. I walk over to my door at the far side and wait.

Soon, people who have filed up out side come in. My door is one of three that leads to what is commonly referred to as the 'cheap seats'. It is near the restroom in case Kaiba has to excuse himself and rush over for advice. Most importantly, it is very low traffic and within the first thirty minutes I have only about fifteen people walk through. This is very little for tonight.

I wait for Seto to show up with Yuugi. As I see his car pull up, I hide behind the door, least Yuugi sees me. The couple walks to the first row seats happily while I watch. I usher a few more people through my door before I'm given the order to close it. I stand inside and wait for the show to start.

Eventually the lights fade and the orchestra men and women straighten up. I'm reminded of algebra class where everyone is slumped over and falling asleep until the teacher blows up and attacks her desk with the meter stick. I smile at the sight as the lights focus on the conductor. He bows to the audience and turns, signaling for attention from all the musicians around him. He keeps time with his hands and conductor's wand till he hits the downbeat that sets off the entire group of strings.

I watch silently and have no idea what is playing. It sounds quite sad though. The lights have been shaded blue to fit the movement's expression of melancholy. I feel like crying as I listen. How long is this show going to be?

Suddenly the drums come to life and like thunder cause me to jump. I've never liked rainstorms because of thunder; it terrifies me for some reason because right after the lightening flashes you know what follows and you wait for the boom. Then there's just a slight rumble and you're okay. You get comfortable when the next flash of lightening strikes and you fail to really acknowledge it. Then there's this terrible sound that makes you want to scream.

Thunderstorms are horrible when you're in the house alone; really terrible since there's nobody to help you. No one but the oni, who sit back and laugh. You can hear oni-demons in the pitter-patter as they jest and hiss at fearful children, increasing the ferocity of the storm. **(C)**

Well, I could hear them.

I was afraid.

The lights are switched to red as the music speeds up and grows violent. I listen to it and close my eyes, leaning against the wall. The music: It's angry and sad, but it's beautiful because I want to see someone will make the sounds glad again, find some resonating notes that could be translated into a bit of happiness. The current harmony is arguing that the conductor is treating it all wrong I want to go up there and tell it otherwise. I want to corner the music, tell it to stop crying about it's silly problem and wake up to this thing called joy. I'd lean over the tune, which thinks its distance is just so strong and intimidating, and hush those drums of rage. I need to tell it there's nothing wrong with the theatre and that if I somehow caused the rush of anger and grief, I'd be more that willing to do what ever was needed to help. That I'd knock out that time keeping conductor in control steering the music to a climatic fury I can hardly stand. I'd take the song in my hands and do the best I can to comfort its ego and hate for everything.

I have always had such a vivid imagination….

"Bakura," I hear a voice behind me and I turn to it. I see Seto right there, all self-esteem lost, as there is a slight shade of worry in his face.

"What?" I whisper so the people around don't glare at us. I barely notice as the music around me has slowed again. It's hard to see the billionaire as the light goes to a deep indigo.

"Yuugi's nodding his head and I think he's bored. Why? Does he not like it here? How can he not like it? Is he doing that weird counting thing?" Kaiba asks me. I would scream and rip his hair out if it wouldn't put the music off beat.

"He's just thinking, Paranoid," I scowl at his interruption, "Music makes people think about things. Yuugi doesn't count either; he's not me."

Kaiba watches me clueless. I sigh at him and his lack of imagination. Is he so up there on his high horse he can't enjoy good entertainment? Kaiba's superiority in his genius is the place where I also assume his greatest stupidity reins. I want him to see this before he messes up his morals too much.

"Don't you ever start to think about things the music reminds you of, become inspired?" I ask in frustration, "Don't you listen and feel not unpleasantly tired, but alive and awake, the clearest setting of mind that you've ever had? Maybe you're the one bored by the music, and not Yuugi. Just because Yuugi is next to you doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself. He thinks this and he's actually not paying any attention to the fact that Seto Kaiba is to the right him; he's feeling the voice and the setting of the tune and losing his thoughts to it. You could try that too, give into the random ideas that might strike you and ponder them, even if it means forgetting your business face. Maybe then you can leave the concert just as happy as Yuugi will be, just as awake. I told you before, Yuugi likes these things and if you don't think so, you may need to find another boyfriend."

Kaiba is watching in shock. I threatened him and lectured him at the same time. I sound like someone's mother.

I know that was long, okay. I just was in a mood to be a bore. Music is very inspirational for me. I get in the rhythm and then when you ask me question, I give you books that make you feel you should be writing all I say down. Yuugi and Otogi have told me this before and now Kaiba's just found out for the first time.

My defiant spurt finally releases a pathetic wail and abruptly dies. I blush and study the ground. Kaiba is still looking surprised.

"You can go back to Yuugi now," I says. He nods and goes.

"Lovely," someone nearby remarks at my speech, "You're such a straightforward speaker, young man. No one feels strongly for this music anymore."

"Sorry," I blush even further and rush out the door. I stand in the lobby, where the music is quieter, trying to catch my breath.

"Why aren't you inside, Bakura?" a voice asks. I turn to see the woman who greeted me.

"Bathroom," I excuse myself and rush to the men's room where she can't follow.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror, in my dark uniform. My face is slowly fading to normal again.

I can't believe I did that, summed up my opinion of the orchestra's effect for Seto Kaiba. I suddenly realized something while in there.

I care about Kaiba.

I want him to be happy so I'm helping him get Yuugi even though I should have known it was pointless. I should have seen it before, but I was so eager to help that now the world will fall apart.

I should have listened to Ryou Bakura when he first tried to tell me I should have left Kaiba's house right after that kick at his nose. But no, I went into assist mode and decided I was going to aid the billionaire in whatever he wanted. Now I'm stuck. I know what _I_ want now, like Yuugi tried to tell me yesterday. I wanted Kaiba to like me, respect me, but until now I never wanted him to love me.

It's entirely that stupid music's fault. I really should have never come.

I stare at my refection, counting scrapes in the glass till I hear the orchestra stop for applause. After some singing numbers the concert is over and people start leaving. I wait in the restroom as a few guests enter.

"You work here?" a guy asks.

"Yeah right," I reply and walk out while he frowns.

Outside I hold open the door. One old man and woman stop to wait for a lull in the traffic and turn to me.

"Was that you who was talking about music to that incredibly rude boy?" the man asks loudly. For a few seconds I don't know what they mean.

"Yes, sir," I reply as I turn slightly red and watch my feet. I feel I should run away as quickly as possible.

"You have an opinion that I think is shared by many," the woman says. It means absolutely nothing. "You sound like you are a public speaker."

I smile slightly. I'm a fair liar, but I don't public speak.

I don't 'public' anything often.

"Actually," I stutter slowly, "No--no I'm very quiet."

"But you have an active mind. It's good to know that the entire generation isn't a group of hopeless technology obsessions." I nod; old people love to give me credit because I'm so terribly out of style. My behavior convinces them that they aren't that behind; aren't that ancient really.

You should see me work the new microwave oven in my kitchen. Of course you'd have to wait a while since I can't. That's how bad I am with technology and top of the line things. I don't like being on the cutting edge. What if it slips and slits my throat? It's too risky, that position.

"Thank you," I mutter as I see Kaiba and Yuugi leave the theatre, last, believe it or not.

"You should meet my daughter and her husband, they could help you get quite far even if you are quiet. How are your writing skills?" the woman adds.

"They are decent I guess," I shrug politely as I watch Kaiba and Yuugi leaving. I want to say my writing skills are terrible, but I hold back my self-insulting instincts.

"Decent! You're modest too!" she exclaims, "I bet they are superb!"

I blush again and watch the ground, resisting the urge to start memorizing the order if the colored lines that make up the carpet. I don't write actually, not past tests answers where Ms. Teacher Lady can't expel me. I'd probably be considered the dullest bulb in the school if not for the different semester grade cards that prove otherwise.

"Well we really must be going now, tell us, what is your name so we can know if we are seeing you again?" the man asks.

"Bakura, sir," I answer slowly.

"Yes, we will remember that" the woman promises me. "Goodbye Bakura," she and her husband wave and leave.

I look around; the theater is now empty. Happy to be going, I exit the lobby and walk down to the street. I see Kaiba and Yuugi not too far away.

I stop dead in my tracks.

They're kissing.

I watch and my world falls away. I can hardly believe it and feel like I shouldn't be watching. The sight scares me and suddenly I wonder if this Yuugi and Kaiba match I've made will work.

I'm not even sure I want it to anymore. I feel weakened as I see Kaiba holding Yuugi so gently. I feel like dying now for some reason. Kaiba loves Yuugi so much it terrifies me. Yuugi should have been just an obsession Kaiba couldn't have reached, but no. The billionaire met me and I practically threw the Motou into his arms to make him happy.

Quickly I hail a taxi and jump in, ordering him to take me to my apartment.

Once inside the relative safety of living room, I stare around desperately. I'm looking for something, somewhere. I can't find it. Now in my mind I see Ryou Bakura and there's a gaping hole right through him, a missing part. I need to find it.

I'm probably trying to recover my nerve. Or my sense. Who knows?

My insides lurch as I try to see what fills the hole. Nothing; I have nothing that will help. It's outside, where all the pain is. The pain is now in here too, in the ache that stresses what must be my heart. I think I'm finally going to break down.

This is great; this is nice. My world is going to end and I'll just moan in agony at what item of torture I've wrought for myself. I'll just die finally, alone in this apartment like I've always been.

The lobster is mocking me from the bathroom. He is always making fun of my idiocy when I come home.

"Shut up!" I scream at it, "Who told you that you had to make this worse? Who appointed you my tormentor?"

The lobster snaps his claws at me threateningly.

"Get your own food!" I yell, kicking the tub. My foot is hurt at the impact and I scream.

I've wanted to scream for so long.

"I hate you," I growl at the lobster, leaving the room and slamming the door. I lock the thing in as if this would keep him away from me, even though it's not very likely he would have been able to turn the knob anyway.

I go to my room and rage war in my mind against Ryou Bakura.

Guess who won.

Hello, I'm Ryou Bakura. I've been locked away since I was ten because my father left me alone all over this country after telling me the two females in our little family where dead. He then ran away on long trips.

How are you? Did you know this Baka here screaming didn't realize he was a helpless dog till a little while ago?

I hate myself.

__

(Wow, and this doesn't include me.)

This isn't happening. I'm not being this pathetic. Everything will be okay.

__

(Sure, yadonushi, slip into denial,

again _now.)_

Thank you, I'll do that then.

* * *

**Notes and Stuff:**

A: I'm supposing Ryou's hair is dyed white or that is the original colour. I mean, it was purple and purplish blue for a while. Now it's white? For the majority of the Manga it is pale again. I decided not to bring up that issue in this story line. I'm going to pretend Ryou's hair was always white.  
B: Okay, that is reference to the song "Jenny: 867-5309" by I don't know who.  
C: Oni are demons that bring on storms and bad stuff like that. I think they are Japanese, but I'm not sure. Look it up if you care. I just read about them recently and I only know that they are from eastern Asia somewhere. In Japanese 'oni' is just an ogre or demon roughly translated.

That was my shortest chapter. That has got to mean something.


	7. Dropped

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yugioh.

The pairings introduced right now:  
Anzu/Yami no Yuugi  
Seto/Yuugi  
Jounounchi/Mai

The crushes introduced right now:  
Ryou/Seto

Thanks to Relinquished for beta reading this chapter!

* * *

**Chapter de Seventh: Dropped**

I remember when my father brought an entire gallon of pineapple sherbet. It was the most terrible thing I'd ever tasted. Whenever I felt angry with others, or was selfishly depressed, I used to force myself to three large scoops, thinking about how I could change my wrongs while I ate. My father hated the stuff and never bought it again, but I did when we ran out. **(A)**

Up until last night, I had an entire quart, untouched, in the freezer.

Yes, I ate the stuff. I ate it and tried to convince myself I was an idiot to try and fall for Kaiba Seto like that.

I'd like to say it worked, but I'm afraid the affect is only temporary.

"Bakura, are you sure you aren't sick or anything?" Yuugi asks, as we wait for the teacher to come back to the class.

"Yes, I'm fine," I mutter. I lie.

Who felt comfortable after an entire quart of fat-free pineapple sherbet?

"Class, sit down and get quiet," Ms. Teacher Lady yells. She's looking at me and what is really being said is 'Why are you here still, can you ever be stupid enough to try and run away, so I can chew you out for something, Baka Bakura?'

Baka Bakura. It has a ring to it.

"We will end the class with a question and answer session," she informs us. She turns to me and I know who's going first.

"Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more. Finish the line, Bakura-san."

I don't look up at her; I just try to recall what my homework has said about this.

"It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." I sigh, not interested. It is a tale by an idiot? Wow, where's the registry for that job? I think I'm more than qualified.

A few kids laugh at my careless manner and uncharacteristic attempt and success at the correct answer.

The teacher watches me warily. She's used to me gaping like a fool, but I don't feel like I care for that façade this second. Her eyebrows are in her hairline now and I can no longer see them. It'd be funny, if I cared. Suddenly I find I don't.

The teacher takes a breath and prepares to fire another question.

"What city was where is now Tokyo?"

I start to draw a picture in my notebook as though I'm not listening, and I really wish I weren't, but I am.

"Edo," I mutter as I write it down as well.

If I keep this up, I think the teacher might die. She looks close to it.

"Thank you—Bakura—correct," she replies haltingly. "Otogi, in 1804, who became emperor of France?"

Otogi is staring at me in shock. I just keep drawing in the notebook. He's so surprised he ignores the teacher.

"Otogi, answer the question!" the woman snaps. He straightens and gives the answer, turning to me again. When the bell rings, he finally speaks while the class exits.

"Bakura, is something wrong?" he asks. I hurry out before he can get an answer.

I'm the first to leave the room.

Quickly, I rush to the bathroom and lock myself in a stall. Some other people come in, but I don't leave, I stay there, watching the pale blue, tinted wall with the most vulgar words written over it.

After a few minutes, all traffic stops and the restroom is silent, empty. This is when I decide it's okay to leave. The clock says the time plainly and I know, in thirty minutes, chess club will be out. They are the only other students in this level of the school now.

My reflection crosses the stalls slowly and turns around. I observe it slightly before I run to a toilet and lean over.

I throw up into the basin. I gag, sputter and watch the pale yellow stuff come up. I taste pineapple sherbet the other way out.

This is just too disgusting.

"Hello?" a voice asks. I'm too busy trying not to die to answer. Quickly, the kid who gave me Kaiba's first invite to a job offer pops up out of nowhere.

"You're Bakura, right?" he asks. I turn and nod, feeling lighter in the stomach that I did a few minutes ago. It feels like I could float away.

He nods and runs out. I hear him call 'I found him' to somebody.

"Bakura?" three familiar voices all ask, at three different times, coming in. I kick the door closed and lock it, trembling with illness, even though my book bag is still by the sink. I'm not letting Yuugi, Otogi, or Kaiba in.

"Bakura, are you okay, man?" Otogi asks, running up to the door and trying to push it open.

"Do you mind?" I try to yell. It comes out a weak, wobbling pine of sorts, instead.

"You don't sound too good. Let us in," he orders.

I shake my head furiously, before I realize he can't see this.

"No," I squeak. I'm shocked at how terrified my voice sounds. I guess I am scared, but if Yuugi and Kaiba leave, I'll be okay.

"Bakura, are you ill? Do we need to take you to the doctor?" I hear Yuugi ask.

I'm silent. I think I got myself sick with that sherbet. I shouldn't have consumed an entire quart, I guess. Well, I'll get over it if they just leave.

"Bakura, if you don't give us a reason to leave you here, I'm coming and dragging you out!" Otogi threatens from the other side of the door. I step back slightly, wondering what he might do.

Before I know what's happening, someone has my foot and pulls me quickly under the door, like in one of those terrible horror movies. I imagine a monster attacking me any second now.

Oh wait, it already is. I call the monster myself.

I look up at the angry Otogi and worried Yuugi. I avoid Kaiba.

"What is your problem these days, Bakura?" Otogi growls. I blink up at him. I'm about to answer, when there's a familiar gag in my throat. I run to another empty stall and toss up even more of the frozen pineapple sorbet. Otogi stays close behind and holds my long hair out of the way.

"Disgusting," I hear Kaiba mutter.

Kaiba's heartless remark drops a wave of depression over me and I feel very weak. I can't help but realize that I'll having trouble and he does not care, that he's only present because this is where his boyfriend happens to be. I want to scream at him that he's a moronic bastard who needs to start caring about the rest of the world if he wants to keep Yuugi. I want to slap his smug, stuck-up face and let him know that Yuugi will not take that harsh behavior of his. I'd tell him this is how Yuugi and I are, in the most way, different. I can usually take cold remarks without rebuttal, but Yuugi has substance and will stand up fro himself.

If Kaiba can't realize this or can't accept it, he'll be leading himself to chaos. I can see it now, and if I were brave enough, I could warn him, but now I'm scared I'll only end up covering his clean uniform with vomit. I start to cry for apparently no reason, as I kneel before the toilet, like it's some kind of shrine I must bow to and offer regurgitated sorbet. Otogi still has my hair and I can't escape. I have trouble breathing as tears roll down my face.

I don't know why having this fit. It isn't me to break down completely, especially in front of Yuugi. I'm quiet, but I have the small strength to not cry about what I don't get. Yuugi cries, Jounouchi cries, even Otogi (believe me, I saw it); but Ryou Bakura doesn't. Bakura is too far-gone for that breed of emotional display.

I'll cry to get Jounouchi to put me down, but all that is just tears. Not actual moans and convulsions, brought on by anger and/or sorrow, by extreme pain in any emotion, even joy.

Not so now. Otogi is frighteningly quiet and Yuugi follows suit. They just watch, like this is some strange dream that will be over in a few minutes. I hope it is--like a nightmare I can wake up from. But now, I'm so sad, I can't really expound upon the idea that all this isn't happening. The people around me are suddenly very unreal.

Otogi pulls me back from the stall, but I don't care. I haven't cried in so long, I don't think I'd be able to stop anytime soon. The last time I really had had a great emotional fit was (and still is for now) the most horrible time in my life. It was after my father told me, two years afterwards, that my mother was dead. I didn't see why he'd taken so long to tell me. Two years! I don't remember how long I was in tears. He gave me the Sennen Ring as a fatherly gesture. That went straight downhill. Everything fell apart and I was forced to stay in the terrible country of my birth and family origin. I still moved around with little freedom, till I was finally planted down into Domino, far enough from all my relatives on both sides to be over-looked by everyone. I haven't gone anywhere else from here yet, and I don't think I really want to because nowhere else is any better.

However, seeing how everything is falling apart, I may have to leave and make a new identity somewhere else, like when my other attacked my old acquaintances and I had to move away because they all had restraining orders.

"Breathe, Bakura, calm down. It's okay," Otogi mutters nervously. He's trying to comfort me, but it's not working. There's a roar in my ears that keeps most sound out.

"What's wrong with him?" I hear Kaiba ask Yuugi, like I'm some plot point in a movie he's not paying enough attention to because it's boring and confusing and a waste of Hollywood.

"I don't know," I hear Yuugi sigh as Kaiba rubs his back automatically in a sort of posessive 'this is my mine' gesture that's not at all connect with what is going on. I wonder if Kaiba even cares to catch up on the great emotional saga and struggle that is the life of Ryou Bakura.

"I don't know what to do," I hear Otogi muse to Yuugi; just stroking my hair solemnly as if that will work. I listen to them all just talk. It's as if I'm not really the baby here crying; but rather I'm just being invisible and observing them gather around someone who happens to look like me breaking down pathetically.

Indeed, it looks like everything is falling apart, so why don't I join the fun?

I tear longer with no signs of stopping. Finally, Kaiba sighs and positions himself before me, crouching on the balls of his feet.

"Bakura, nothing's wrong, it's okay. Why do are you so frustrated?" he asks and I can't help but wonder if he sounds slightly annoyed and bored with all of this.

I look down and try not to start bawling like a sick cow. My breathing is heavy and I can't make the tears stop, but otherwise I'm relatively silent. I'm just hyperventilating and getting worked up over everything. I once again feel like crawling into a private little corner and curling up into the fetal position, rocking back and forth over and over.

"It's okay, Bakura, you're just a little tense, a little unorganized. There's nothing to cry about." He informs me.

"Look at me," I'm commanded, which alarms me because a part of me is convinced you don't yell at someone who is obviously upset. I only comply because I think Kaiba is angry with me for upsetting Yuugi. I look up to glaze right into Kaiba's emotionless eyes while Otogi just absentmindedly strokes my hair.

"Stop overexciting yourself, nothing's going to happen to you," he orders. His eyes are still hard and resolve and I'm convinced he's only solving my problem to calm Yuugi down. That's the reasonable answer.

Of course, when was I ever reasonable?

Still, I can't help but try to relax. Maybe once this stunt wins Yuugi over for Kaiba I can kill myself sans the Motou's concern? In enough time, my breaths regulate to an almost decent speed. Kaiba nods at his accomplishment and gets up, turning to Yuugi.

"There, Bakura's okay now," he informs him softly. Yuugi nods in awe at his boyfriend, the Bakura Whisperer. I just close my eyes and try to concentrate on Otogi's hands brushing through my hair soothingly. I rise shaking and walk to the sink, wetting my face with cold water and washing the rotten pineapple taste from my mouth.

"Are you going to be all right?" Yuugi asks.

I nod distantly, avoiding Kaiba's glaze again. I watch them as they leave silently.

"I uh, I never knew you still cried, Bakura," Otogi remarks lamely. He's actually seen me break out into tears twice, but I stopped all that a long time ago.

"I'm human," I breathe quietly, studying my reflection.

"I should have known right off in class," he smirks, "You forgot to remember you didn't know the answer."

"Did I?" I reply lazily. My head feels heavy now in contrast to my light stomach.

"Yeah, I think the teacher killed herself," Otogi informs me.

"Really?" I sigh at my image with an airy note in my voice, masking a frustrated gag of tears with a pleasant trill.

"Maybe you could do that to the next one?" he suggests. "Until the school system gives up on our class entirely and sets us free."

"I'll consider it," I say with a poorly placed smirk. Otogi pretends to believe it.

* * *

Two Days Later

I wonder what I'd do with money, lots of money. Would I buy my sanity back? Could I buy my sanity back?

"What the hell is this?" Otogi asks with a laugh, grabbing a piece of paper from my piles of junk. It's a picture of the park, the one I drew for Kaiba.

"A map," I inform him.

"Of what exactly, a portion of Mars?" he asks, turning it around.

"It's the park, you're reading it upside down," I correct, snatching the paper and turning it over, "See, by the water fountain."

"That whale is a water fountain?" he asks in shock.

"So questions the clown who can't tell mannequins from famous statues," I muse.

"Hey, some mannequins are too human to not be works of art."

"Whatever you say…" I trail off skeptically.

"I say a lot."

"Ugh. Believe me, I know," I reply, furrowing my brow.

I pull up more garbage as I try to find my dropped change. Otogi has been over for hours, watching TV and getting in the way. He says he's trying to keep me from doing anything to myself. I told him if he keeps up the annoying narrative to my every move and sigh, my state will be the least of his worries. This, like always, only made him laugh.

And I just dropped some money into the couch cushion, well—Otogi just knocked some money into the cushions. I'm trying to locate it all now. The peanut gallery isn't really helping me with its frustrating little comments.

"I think your hard cash has gone to hell," he says. As wonderful as his opinion is, I find I'm not caring.

"Oooh, what's this?" he asks, grabbing another document, "Dear diary," he mocks and I glare at him.

I've never owned a diary. I hate writing about myself.

Otogi skims the paper as I move over more junk to reach the second cushion. I don't know how my apartment got so messy, but I think I'll just blame it on a certain frequent houseguest.

"What's this about the aquarium?" he asks.

"It's a date me and—me and Kaiba set up. Yuugi likes the whales," I explain. It was, in fact, the last thing we ever talked about. It was before the kiss after the concert. He was supposed to have done that at the aquarium. Everything was on paper.

"Oh," Otogi replies shortly, trying not to bring around the subject of Kaiba again, at which I am quite glad.

"Did you know, Jounouchi asked Mai out a few days ago after you yelled at him?" Otogi asks and informs, putting the paper down.

I turn to him surprised, lost change forgotten. Jounouchi asked his longest crush (what has it been--one year?) out finally? I had no idea. I mean, even when Jounouchi was interested in me, he still seemed obsessed with Mai.

"Did she agree?" I ask.

"Yep, they're dating, believe it or not," Otogi replies smugly at my shock.

"I guess there goes my last admirer," I sigh sarcastically at the loss that affects me less than any other.

"Don't worry, I'm still single," he jokes, raising he eyebrows suggestively.

"Yes, and you're going to be for a long, long time if you live in my apartment," I inform him, diving for money in the couch again, "It's cursed, you know."

"You don't say?" he asks, looking around in false awe.

"No, Otogi, I know," I say, putting the cushion back to were it belonged and sitting down again with a sigh.

"What's the matter Bakura, you sound tense. What were you looking for anyway?" he asks at my frustration in my inability to find the change.

"I can't find my money you so rudely knocked into the couch," I scowl slightly.

"You mean this money?"' he offers, holding it up for me to see.

"I going to kill you," I growl and jump at for the money. He dodges my attack and leaps across the room at what should be an impossible speed. Foolishly, he runs to the kitchen and I wait.

"OH MY GOD!" he screams and runs out while I catch up. I observe the lobster that has clamped his claw onto Otogi's shirt.

If you don't know, there is a very hilarious point here. Otogi is terrified of bugs and small crustaceans. The lobster on him right now is the thing of nightmares. I'm watching as he panics and runs around the room.

"Get it off me, Bakura!" he orders, trying to wrench it from his shirt. The creature is too strong.

"Give me my money back and I'll consider it," I inform him, watching the lobster snap his free claw at Otogi's hands.

Otogi roars at the lobster and takes the entire shirt off to get it away. The lobster's free claw snaps to his pocket as the other releases and hooks the lose belt.

I can't help but laugh. I wonder how desperate Otogi wants the lobster gone.

"Oh god no. You come get your pet off me, Bakura," he orders, not thrilled at where this might be going if he tries to take his pants off as well. I'm too far-gone laughing to care.

"Bakura, I'm begging you, get it off," he pleads while I try to calm down, "Here's you're money, now get it off, please."

I nod and get up. Otogi settles timidly on the couch, being careful not to vex the lobster. I walk over to where he is. The lobster looks at me and waves its antenna; smacking Otogi in the stomach. He glares at it and growls slightly. The lobster smacks him again.

"Stop it," he scowls at the irritation. I kneel down, leaning over the animal and observe the claws, slowly prying the one on his pocket off. Otogi moves slightly in his impatience.

"Stop twitching and hold still or you'll get hurt," I order as the lobster allows me to free one of its holds.

"How's it gonna hurt me?" the dice obsessed victim taunts the creature.

"It can always go for the crotch," I hint. Otogi pales and shuts up, trying very hard to sit back and relax.

I can't say it's very easy, as there's a lobster on his ass.

Slowly I clasp the second claw on his belt buckle. The lobster isn't so willing to let go this time.

"Why won't it come off?" he asks, some humorous fear in his tone.

"I think it doesn't want to," I grunt, trying to pull the clamps apart.

"Pull harder," he orders.

"I'm going as fast as I can!"

"So? I want it off today!" he barks and I glare at him threateningly, holding up the first claw, which snaps at him effectively.

"You wouldn't," he growls in shock.

"I could, but I'm a nice guy," I inform him.

"I'd be nicer if you would hurry up."

"Bakura? Otogi?" a voice asks as I get the claw off the belt. I look up to see a very confused Yuugi. I turn back to Otogi and blink.

"Oh!" I yell, jumping back, "It's not what it looks like!"

Otogi does likewise with a similar excuse.

"What are you two doing?" Yuugi asks in shock.

"It's not what you think, he was just getting that insect off my pants," Otogi answers while 'that insect' starts snapping at him.

Yuugi nods slowly, still looking a bit visually violated.

"It looked like--like you were…" He trails off. Otogi starts to laugh.

Naturally I blush and shut up, holding the lobster's claws closed. Now that I consider what Yuugi saw from the doorway, I feel very embarrassed he thought such a thing.

"It's just, Otogi was sitting down and Bakura was leaning, oh God!" he squeaks and runs to the bathroom. I think he's going to try and pry his eyes out.

"You gotta admit, that was pretty funny," Otogi remarks as Yuugi disappears.

I glare at him. Not so funny as it was embarrassing for me, thank you.

"Don't you two _ever _do that to me again!" Yuugi announces as he comes back.

"Sorry," I apologize while Otogi tries to find where he threw his shirt, laughing like he just got off Ritalin.

"So, why did you come over, besides to see if me and Bakura were getting it on?" I hear Otogi ask as Yuugi sits down.

"I came over to see Bakura; I need to talk," he informs me.

"Really? Why does everyone talk to Bakura? What's he charging?" Otogi asks. Yuugi and me look at him, annoyed.

"Otogi, please leave," I order. The boy looks at me in mock disappointment. I glare and chase him out with the lobster while Yuugi laughs. Otogi gets into difficult mode and breaks into song in the hall.

"I-I-I-I-I-I'm standin' outside your door, I've been here before, misunderstood. I-I-I-I-I--"

_I_ slam the door in Otogi's face. I don't get why he always sings those annoying American hits when trying to be disruptive. He's just showing off. **(B)**

"What do you want to talk about Yuugi?" I ask. I've already pushed my terror and tears of a few days ago down and I'm busy repressing the memory. I can officially handle Yuugi, but I'm not so sure about Kaiba.

I still can't believe I was so stupid in what I've done. I mean, Seto Kaiba? How can anyone like Kaiba?

"Seto." He says the one word that can make me break into a sweat and start counting the dots on the wall again. I resist the urge to ignore him, and nod.

"What about Kaiba?"

Yuugi frowns at me.

"Why can't you call him Seto?" he asks.

"Habit," I answer. Yuugi always asks that one question whenever someone brings Kaiba up. He wants all of us to all call him Seto now.

"Well, you don't have to worry about that. I'm not so sure about me and Seto," he informs me.

I mentally correct his grammar (Seto and me; not me and Seto) before I realize what he has said.

I gap at him. I don't know whether I should scream in anguish that the sky is falling on my head, or run around happy that the end has finally come and there is no more need for me to fear. I feel a compulsion to do both.

"Wha--why?" I stutter slowly.

Yuugi sighs and shrugs.

"I know you wanted it otherwise so I decided to tell you first. It's just; Seto doesn't give me what I want. He's cold and cruel at lots of times and only really nice when where're alone. I can't stand that, Bakura. I can't stand the way he keeps to himself all the time and won't let me in at what is bothering him." Yuugi complains.

"But he loves you," I try to convince him lamely. 'He loves you', yeah, real poetic.

"But I can't trust the fact that I don't know what he's thinking. I have to know my partner, Bakura, not have them distance themselves from me all the time. It's frustrating because I never know he's happy or sad till no one's watching."

"But he protects you, keeps you safe. Isn't that what you want?" I ask him sadly.

"No, that's not what I want or need. Maybe he'd fit someone else, but I can't stay with Kaiba."

"But Yuugi, you need to keep this up, you don't understand," I can't continue. I can't tell him such an emotional strain might snap Kaiba, who now, thanks to klutzy me, thinks no one can stop him; he can get what he wants whenever he wants it. Kaiba is now sure he can control his emotions, that he is something else entirely from all the rest of the world.

Kaiba isn't the core of all humanity but due to my wonderful intervention, he might just tell you otherwise. I hope he doesn't try to get another boyfriend on his own; he'll fail terribly. They need to be down right obsessed with him if it's to last even a year I suppose.

Unless they're me, but I'll be dead by then anyway.

Kaiba isn't good with people. He's too dominant over everyone and everything. He has to be in control and I can see why that can't fit the bill for Yuugi. Yuugi needs something else, but I completely over-looked this while making the doomed match. I just ran ice into fire at high incomprehensible speeds and hoped one wouldn't drown the other or evaporate to nothing.

This is terrible and wrong and I knew it the entire time.

"I understand Bakura, but unless he drops his self-esteem issue, I'm not bothering," Yuugi tells me like I've known he would.

"But you can't want to do that to Kaiba. It's just hard to notice his affection. You have to expect attention, but not beg."

I try very hard to convince him. I feel like I'm trying to explain in physics to a puppy how to properly roll over, down to wind speed and the day's air pressure. Puppies just don't care about that stuff though, so it's a lost cause in many ways.

"I don't want to do that, Bakura. I can't be happy with people only loving me when they feel like it. I don't care how much a person thinks about me if they don't do anything. I have to end this but I don't want to hurt Seto either, even though he's not important enough for me to need." Yuugi complains softly, tears in his large yes.

I look away; I can't stare at his face. He wants to end it all so fast after all my efforts.

I can't help thinking I'll be dead by tomorrow.

"So you're going to end the relationship? Or have you already done so?" I ask, stroking the smooth shell of my lobster.

"No," he replies, hardly above a whisper, "I don't want to, but I have to."

I nod slowly as the lobster closes a claw around a piece of fringe from the couch's throw rug.

"I know, Yuugi; he's just not your match. Maybe you're not that interested in guys, period," I mumble. Yuugi actually nods at this.

We sit in silence until suddenly I have an idea that may lengthen my own lifespan.

"Yuugi, will you do something for me?" I ask.

"Sure Bakura, anything." I know he's trying to make up for disappointing me. My next words nearly kill me to say, but I must do this.

"Will you promise to try one more time with Kaiba? Will you try to notice his affection better? Please?"

I'm pleading with him. I can't have this fall apart. If it fails, I won't know what I'm good for anymore. I'll be nothing, never winning in the limelight because I happen to hate that particular shade to an intense degree. My weak poor mind will have no more use in anyone else's business because I'll be scared to mess them up as much as myself. I do not fear for Yuugi anymore, I terrified how this will affect Kaiba. The Motou needs to give him just one last chance.

"Okay," Yuugi sighs, "I'll try, but I'm not promising you we'll hit it off."

"I know," I nod. Yuugi is now trying to find an excuse to leave.

"Listen Bakura, I gotta go," he remarks heading for the door.

"See you," I wave with the lobster's claws snapping about, "I'll go take this monster back to the kitchen sink before he dries out."

Yuugi smiles and walks out while I head for the kitchen and drop the animal into his new temporary home. I had to clean the tub earlier because of him. Now he gets the sink.

"There I go again, delaying the inevitable," I remark to the water. The lobster splashes and I grab his food, sprinkling a bit over his habitat.

"What hath I wrought?" I mutter as he eats. **(C)**

* * *

_Is something bothering you, Bakura?_

I look up in surprise from where I have been smiting Mokuba at chess. Smiting him with laughter at my inferiority and lack of skill in such a terrible game, that is.

_How many times do I have to answer that before you give up?_

"Your move, Bakura," Mokuba says, but I'm too busy listening to the conversation in my mind.

_A long, long time._

"Pawn What-Ever, to corner I-Forgot-the-Grid." I order tapping to spot with my pencil as a servant moves the piece. Mokuba sighs again at my exciting new terminology for this game he's mastered. I think all the Kaibas are chess geniuses. At least they're all better than me; I just learned the basic concepts.

Or at least I thought I learned the concepts.

"You can't move around another pawn, Bakura, it's illegal. That little piece can't move till the one before it is moved or it can take out another diagonally." He tells me…again.

"Well I think I want to call a lawyer on that challenge. The space is free, why can't move there?" I ask lazily.

"It's a pawn, Bakura! It's very limited." He exclaims. I'm really frustrating him.

I look up at the door as it opens and Kaiba walks in and greets Mokuba. Once again I'm reminded of the seafood place when I convince the boy his brother was scared he wasn't loved. What a cruel remark that had been, because if Kaiba had felt that way he'd have been devastated.

"Niisama, my brain hurts," he groans.

"And why is that, Mokuba?" Kaiba asks, exceptionally chipper since he got with Yuugi.

"Bakura isn't thinking enough to play chess right," he pines lightly and Kaiba shakes his head.

"Well, maybe he doesn't get it?" he suggests.

"But he can't even get the pawns' moves right!"

"Awe, now Bakura," Kaiba tsks slightly at me, "That's actually kind of sad."

I watch the board nervously. I can't really see how the game pieces work. There's no point, why can't I knock out two pieces at once?

"Teach him how to play! You're good at it. Please?" Mokuba asks his brother while I find out how many squares there are in a chessboard. Kaiba sighs and walks over, taking Mokuba's seat.

"Incase you're wondering, there are sixty-four squares, Bakura," he interrupts me.

I look up at him surprised. So? I already know he can read my mind. And I already knows there are sixty-four. I've counted them seven times already.

"Chess is fairly easy as long as you pay attention. I don't want to have to be to hard on you." And he sneers so encouragingly right in the middle. "So I suggest that you don't be an idiot. I want you to never need someone to explain this to you again."

I watch him in fear. I don't know with that kind of threat if I'll ever be able to learn. I'll get too nervous.

"Okay, this pawn only moves one space, understand?" he starts.

* * *

Lapse of Time

"You're not moving till you give the exact coordinates, Bakura," Kaiba scowls at me.

"Can't I just move the piece myself?" I beg. Mokuba was a lot nicer than his brother. I can't think anymore. My headaches has a headache. My poor, feeble brain is crying.

"If you don't get a piece moved to defend in three minutes, I'll put you in check," Kaiba warns.

"But I forgot what square that was!" I cry as my time slowly ticks away.

I don't know what to do, Kaiba is rudely pressuring me to hurry and my brain has gone blank. Half my army is in his possession and I have three pawns, a bishop, and what I think is a knight. That or what I think is a bishop is a knight and the knight is a bishop. But what if one is a castle or a bishop? Bishops ride the horse right? Or is that the knight? But knights save people from towers, don't they? What in the world is that pointy one? A tower or a bishop? The king is on the left of the queen, right?

"Time up, I'll just put you in check," Kaiba growls at my failure to attempt anything, "You can still destroy me if you recall the grid square, I'm right next to your pawn."

I look at his piece, the Slide Diagonally Piece. My pawn could take it out if I could remember.

"Checkmate, I win," he says because I cannot move. I do not know how.

"You should have given me more time!"

"I did give you time, five matches ago. I even allowed you to point at square instead of graphing them. You still lost because you confused the king and the queen," he informs me smartly, "You're just running around all over the board, not thinking about what you're doing."

"No, I think too much," I reply.

"Really? How can one think too much, Bakura?" he asks, slightly curious.

"I question my move. I wonder of the--the Horse--thing" (Kaiba rolls his eyes at the name) "moves forward or not and then I wonder what its name is. I start to mix it up with the other pieces and forget. Then you ask me for the grid number and I wonder if the numbers and letters are up the board or across the board. I'm worried I'm wrong whether I'm right or not so I skip or just point randomly." I try to explain the entire mess of thoughts. Kaiba nods slowly at each word, considering my unique brand of stupidity.

"Sounds like you have an issue with a little something called confidence, Bakura," he announces almost brightly. I watch him, once again, confused.

"And you don't?" I defend myself primitively.

Kaiba's eyes harden slightly at this. I want to fade away into nothing so he'll stop glaring at me. Only slowly do his eyebrows unknot.

"Sorry," I mutter, watching the Horse figurine that is somehow a Knight.

"Bakura, are you always scared of speaking your mind?" he asks quite frankly. I look at him insulted and not understanding at all.

"Mokuba used to be like that, quiet," he muses distantly, watching the Knight as well. I look away from it in case he's somehow claimed the wooden chess character and I don't know.

"Yuugi isn't," he adds.

"He's got lots to say," I say with a shrug before I can shut it back. Kaiba smirks slightly at this.

"Yes, he does, doesn't he?" he replies, drifting. I wonder what he's thinking about. I'm not going to ask him, I don't think he'd like that, but I can't help but wonder.

Kaiba glares hard at the board. I quite shocked it has failed to combust into flames. I wonder if this is just what Yuugi doesn't like about Kaiba, his glares. Kaiba was always the strong stone cold businessman with a lot more important things to do than talk with everyone else. In school he was the silent statue in the corner of the room, reading or some other intelligent activity. There was a high power and influencing wave of frustration emanating from the ground where he stood. Kaiba was always the one flaunting his superiority around for everyone to see but not letting them anywhere close to it.

I know there would be no point to compare him to a chess piece for better understanding of the role he holds. No, Kaiba is the entire game, if anything. He is the confusing array of strategies that for me equal confusion and for Yuugi is contemplation. Yuugi is the first to help people, not the last they look to if they even bother. He's used to being thrown his problems to solve quickly the best he can and, I must admit, he's a lot better at it than I am. But, he thinks Kaiba wants help when Kaiba's not even aware the Motou is convinced that something is wrong.

Like I said, I made a horrible mistake and now the one I tried to help, Seto Kaiba, is in for the shock of his life.

Maybe Kaiba is right when he says he doesn't need any help. Every time others try to fix his problems for him, they crash. Whenever others want to get an idea to his mind or change something, they try to force it. That can't be good for a person's mental state. I think that's why Kaiba is so harsh to the world; the world is the same to him.

I'm depressing myself now. I'm most likely wrong any way.

_Bakura, are you asleep?_

I sigh at the voice and wait for the second one to answer.

_Leave me alone!_

What is wrong with me? Is this some joke my other self is playing on me? These two little voices in my mind?

_No, I want to see if you're sleeping._

"Bakura? I told you. There are sixty-four squares, do you have to count them all?" Kaiba asks.

"I'm not counting," I remark.

"Well, I'm calling the press," he says. He interrupts me thoughts just so he can tell me that.

I blink. It takes me a few seconds to realize this is a joke.

"Sorry," I apologize.

"For what?" Kaiba asks.

I stop talking. I wonder just what I am so sorry for. I'm always apologizing for nothing, hm? I guess I'm preparing for the largest sorry in the universe.

_Sorry I screwed up your life, Seto Kaiba. Yuugi Motou doesn't love you. Surprise!_

That sounds fun, eh?

"If you don't know, then don't always be apologizing and get the confidence to speak your mind, especially if no one seems to care," he concludes like a self-esteem program because I'm not answering.

I nod silently. Yeah, that will happen. Whatever you say Kaiba….

"Sor—I mean, I'll try," I mutter, turning red and watching my sneakers.

"That's more like it, now you just need to stop blushing," he muses, trying to see how to fix my characteristic imperfections, "And that counting thing you do. That will unnerve people if you keep it up," he informs me.

I blush even harder and absentmindedly try to memorize the threaded colors in the carpet.

"You're not too perfect either," I stammer slowly.

"I'm close enough," he sighs, getting up and ordering for the car to get started.

I notice once again Kaiba's distancing. I see he tends to do that when I bring up him or his flaws. I guess he doesn't like the topic very much. I wonder if this happens to Yuugi. The Motou naturally tries to fix errors in other people; I think it gives him some kind of purpose. I can't help but realize how Kaiba's resistance to this approach may stress my other little friend. I wonder how it affects Kaiba. Someone trying to help him like Yuugi tends to might make him uncomfortable.

"Kaiba?" I ask as I make for the door.

"Yes, Bakura?" he acknowledges my interest.

"How's it, with you and Yuugi?" I can't help but ask. If Kaiba wants to hear my mind, I'll throw him what I've been thinking about for the past few days.

"Fine, why do you ask?" He shrugs. I can't help but notice a wall as it starts to fall between us at the question.

"Oh, it's nothing," I mutter, quickly deciding to get off the topic seeing as such a conversation would be very unpredictable and most likely dangerous for the timid. Basically: me.

We continue to the car and I get in, glad I was able to end that evolving dilemma so soon before I got myself into yet another mess. I highly doubt it would have been good for my mental state.

I still can't help but wonder if he feels the way Yuugi does about all of this? Like it's all a sham?

"Okay, Bakura, tell me," Kaiba orders as he pulls over. I stare around in shock. We aren't that close to my place, but I doubt this is a concern of Kaiba's. He turns the inside lighting on and I can no longer see out the windows.

"Tell you what?" I ask nervously, wondering why the door isn't open for me to jump out and run away screaming through.

"What were you going to say about Yuugi?" he asks, curious yet threatening.

"It doesn't matter," I reply distractedly, trying to stare past the dim light to outside, which is near impossible due to the inner glare.

"Bakura, quit staring at the window like some idiot and tell me!" he barks and I snap to attention, terrified. Kaiba gets very annoyed very fast and I don't know why. I also don't know why he is so strict. There are many things I can't even see about him, but right now I'm pretty sure it's in my best interest to comply.

"Sorry," I mutter, trying very hard to not focus entirely on the floor.

"I didn't asked you to apologized. I asked you to answer," he snaps. For some odd reason I fell like crying again. The inside of the car area seems to heat up dramatically.

"Well, it's just you and Yuugi don't seem exactly," I pause and finally study the fuzzy cropped carpet of the surrounding walls and ground. I feel the billionaire's glare and gulp once before finding on last word, "Compatible."

"What do you mean?" Kaiba asks, quietly enough, though there is obvious strain.

"You don't really--and I think," I choke and shut up, picking frantically at the cushion under my fingers.

"What?" he growls.

"It's nothing really, forget about it," I beg, looking up and all but crossing my hands and getting on my knees.

"What do you think?" he demands once more, straining my will to how far this goes until I break.

"I just don't know," I sigh desperately. I don't want to tell him about what Yuugi said; I don't want to see the pain and confusion that should always be masked. Kaiba is great and the information could bring him down so very fast. He doesn't know what he's asking me to say.

"Is it something I should know?" he growls low. I cringe and barely find my voice.

"Yes and, well, no," I squeak, very unsure of myself now. I want to make all this fade away, to be home in bed, alone with the lobster in his tub. I want to be asleep right now, dreaming about what I'll forget by the morning's thought murdering light. I don't want to be in this car, being glared over be a dangerously curious egomaniac with relationship issues he doesn't even notice yet.

"Bakura, I'd appreciate it if you told me a little of what you are thinking," he informs me menacingly.

"Please don't make me tell you," I plea, near tears, "I don't want to, don't make me."

Kaiba sighs in frustration and starts the car again, putting on like he's doing me a hug favor. We drive in eerie silence to the apartments. Before I get out, he turns to me.

"Bakura, I don't think Mokuba needs a babysitter anymore. You're no longer needed." He informs me coldly. In other words, I can now go back to not existing.

I watch him aghast. I think I was just fired. He pulls out without so much as a goodbye and drives off. I stand next to the complex's small rock garden and gape. Far away in the horizon of buildings, I see the slight glow that signals the ever cliché approach of dawn. I had spent all night on it and still had no idea how to play chess.

I don't think I want to see another checkered board with chess pieces on it.

Kaiba was obviously angered at my denial to answer him. I can't believe I'm not going to have to ride in that deathtrap car again or get pestered and annoyed by little Mokuba.

For some reason, I really just want to hide in my room now and sleep forever, awaking only when I discover this is a terrible dream that will be over soon.

But it's not. Nothing is fake now and I might as well crawl into a hole and die. Kaiba is now probably questioning him and Yuugi just as Yuugi is picking when to break it all up.

There was a chicken named Henny Penny who claimed the sky was falling. I never quite understood her terror at such a thing when I first read the story with one of my many aunts. Now though, I understand it quite well. My world is falling upon me just as I tear it down with my bare hands.

I'm starting with the sky for all it's worth, the daytime bright blue color that holds everything up and keeps it all down. It's the fundamental pillar after the earth that no one really sees.

What a fine array of ordered chaos I've made

The sky is falling.

* * *

**Notes and stuff:**

A: I do not like pineapple sherbet. Right now there is an entire tub of it in the freezer that no one wants to eat. I don't think anyone wants it. There's a good reason too. It is fat free and disgusting all the time.  
B: Bon Jovi song there! It was on while I was typing and since Bakura was kicking Otogi out, I thought he should annoy them all with it. Generally, it's not my favorite song, but still. I don't know why I even did that. In fact, that bit is the _only _part of the song I know. Go figure. Lyrics are probably wrong anyways.  
C: Okay, the original expression is "What hath God wrought?" Bakura has just taken the phrase and changing the words. Not implying that he's God or anything! Except he thinks he has the power to destroy the world. Heh.

Hehe, I'm trying very hard to make this fic funny again, but right now I'm reading "Fields of Thirteen" a collection of stories by Dick Francis. That doesn't give me many humorous ideas.


	8. Yami no Bakura?

****

Disclaimer:

I don't own Yugioh.

The pairings introduced right now:  
Anzu/Yami no Yuugi  
Seto/Yuugi  
Jounouchi/Mai

The crushes introduced right now:  
Ryou/Seto  
Ryou/Lobster

Thanks to beta-reader Relinquished!

****

PEOPLE'S, LOOK AT THIS:

(Italics)  
is Yami no Bakura communicating mentally  
Italics  
no limit to number of asterisks is Ryou's mental voices and skits

* * *

**Chapter de Eight: Yami no Bakura?**

I do not know why I'm suddenly feeling so angry at everything. Otogi hasn't been over for the entire day after school and normally, about this time, I'd be headed for Kaiba's, to watch Mokuba. I don't get it. Everything is so still and tense now. It seems no one knows I'm here, alive. I think I've been forgotten entirely by humanity, like I've been erased.

Maybe this is just that slight, nerve-racking calm before some violent storm? It reminds me of when I was visiting a cousin's and it started to rain severely. Right before the first drop fell, the earth grew quiet, in some kind of steady anticipation. Then the torrents fell and it was terrifying. When we all went outside the next day, some houses weren't all the way there.

I started liking cities a whole lot more after that.

So, if this is the calm before a storm, I can't relax. Does anyone else see what we're headed for now? Don't they, too, sense the sudden silence and foreboding air that moved in?

Maybe I should leave the apartment?

No, because if something happens out there, I can't run home and lock everything out.

So now I get to stare at the wall and count dots all over again, jumping at noises and creaks caused by the building settling and swaying. It's really eating at my nerves.

"Konnichi wa, Bakura!" a voice greets behind me. I'm almost happy to see Otogi now; he is probably going to be my only friend after all of this.

"Hello, Otogi," I say politely. From my position on the couch, I can't see him.

"Are you okay? You haven't left the apartment all day," he asks, slightly worried. That's Otogi for you, always the little scout, worrying about everyone who can stand him. I guess that's why just Yuugi and me get along with him; seeming, as Jounouchi hates almost everyone I know, and Anzu always thought most guys were annoying.

Well, she never said I was all that annoying, though she's scowled so many times even on Yuugi. I suppose she doesn't think I'm actually male enough to be an 'frustrating guy'. No, I act like a shy girl or a nice old lady, not a teenage boy.

Disappointing, really.

"I really have nowhere to go, Otogi," I tell him quietly.

"What about Mokuba?" he asks, surprised.

"I'm not working there anymore."

"Oh," Otogi nods sensibly. I don't entirely understand why, but I find I must keep talking. Otogi doesn't stop me as I extend my given 'oh' a bit more.

"It is only the practical thing to do. Mokuba doesn't really need a watcher and Kaiba is now with Yuugi. Everything is set and I'm no longer needed," I tell him, trying to sound sensible. He nods again at my words and I can't help but wonder if he even cares.

"So, you're going to sit inside by yourself on a beautiful day?" he asks, looking at the closed windows around the room. "But then, I guess you didn't know, with all the blinds down."

I shrug and pull my legs up to my chest. There's a comfort in holding myself so, some strange type of security I haven't named yet. I didn't get around to opening the blinds after the storm a few days ago. My apartment is usually a very nice, slightly cluttered place everyone likes to visit and explore at my consent, even when I'm out. Now it's a dark and gloomy morgue of all my thoughts. Recently, I've been reliving the days when my father first left and didn't return for months. That's how lost I've been. I don't know what to do, so I'll just stay inside, breathe, and wait.

"Are you even going to consider leaving any time soon?" he asks. I shrug again and hug my knees closer, lest they slip away over the couch. Thinking how such an action may alarm my only guest, I resist the urge to rock.

"What's the matter, Bakura? I know, since we're friends, and all you get to be your true, messed up self around me, but you are kind of creepy now. You're quieter that usual. What's bothering you?" he asks and mocks me.

Lots of people do that, poke fun at me, and I let it blow by. It seems I make wonderful friends with those who mock me: Otogi, my lobster, and, until last night, Kaiba. Even Mokuba was like that, and Jounouchi was close to barbaric in his taunts at my manners and solitude. I can't really admit I wasn't irked at the behavior sometimes, but I dropped obvious tips for them all to kindly step off it as they reach a stress point. This won't usually stop Jounouchi or Mokuba, as those two were the worst tormentors. My lobster never listens to me, but he can't really bring a subject up. Otogi learned his cue to stop the 'humor' quickly. It's nice that he obeys, but more than half of the time he just switches his theme. He still mocks, just not on the same topic. The most amusing out of all is (was) Kaiba, who stops completely. You give him the slightest clue you're annoyed or panicking, and he ends it. Kaiba would go to another category and become the world's greatest bore as he droned on about gods know what.

"Are you going to talk at all or is 'Hello, Otogi, I have nowhere to go I'm not working for Kaiba because there's simply no reason' all I'm getting?" Otogi complains. He sounds frustrated.

"What do you want to know besides that?" I ask very slowly, very quietly, trying to see if spoken sentences aren't just myths from five minutes ago.

"I want to know why you are sitting in the dark," he suggests.

"I forgot to open the blinds for a few days," I answer softly, watching a little flying insect of some sort that I don't care about, climbing the wall.

"May I open them?" he asks, looking at the windows again in disgust. It's not the nasty disgust as in he thinks the place around him is gross, it's the disgust of not thinking the mood of such little light sets will help my situation mentally, however it may be, and wanting to help first by improving the current surroundings.

"Yes, you may," I permit as he gets up and pulls back the cords, freeing sunbeams caught in the curtains to spread around the room.

When he finishes the room is considerably brighter. I feel less troubled for some reason as well. Slowly, I permit my arms to release my knees and let my feet rest on the floor. I still cower slightly on the cushions, but it's only because change of atmosphere doesn't fully affect some parts of your mind.

"Do you feel any better now, Bakura?" he asks smartly as he sits down again. I watch distantly as his back slams into the soft, other side of the couch. I am shocked at such a violent attack on the cushions. The couch frame scoots back slightly with the force.

"Do you feel any better?" he asks again. I nod quickly and wonder how bad the couch feels.

"So, what makes you stay inside?" he asks.

"Boredom," I reply.

"It's more interesting out there, in the sun. But then, you might not like the light," he jokes.

"Why?" I ask. I don't get it. Why do I not like light? Light never did anything to me. I hurt me and no one else is responsible. Why would I hate the light?

"You know, you're pale and depressed right now, like you never go outside ever." He shrugs at my failing to get the jest.

"I don't hate the light."

Otogi sighs at me. "Forget it?" he suggests. I shrug and look up at him.

"Fine," I assure him. He smiles for some odd reason.

"So you're okay?" he asks to make sure.

I decide to fake it like I have so many times before. I don't know if Otogi ever falls for it, but he's never remarked on my sudden changes in attitude.

"I'm fine, why?" I ask semi normally.

"Because I have to go," he smirks slightly. "Knowing how bad you must want me to stay, I have to finish some dice tournament applications. The dateline is tomorrow. You'll be okay alone?"

I nod. I'm alive still, aren't I? I think I'll make it well enough, unless Kaiba sends some people over to shoot me in the mouth.

"I'll be fine, I assure you," I console his slight worry.

"Bye, then. I'll come back as soon as I can, okay?" he asks, making to exit.

"You usually do," I wish him farewell, "And you have a key."

"I do, don't I?" he askes.

I shake my head as he exits. Why is it Otogi seems so hopeless? He's like some great walking lost cause that just happened to think long enough to invent a game.

I look around the now considerably brighter living room. Now it really does seem a room for one to breathe, relax, and reside in forever. The longer I observe, the more I want to stay; the safer everything looks. There is some clutter and piles of papers, but visitors enjoy going through this mess and I leave it alone. People think they understand my life better by spying on all my documents. I've walked in on many friends, ranging from Yuugi to Mai and Jounouchi together, comparing notes. I'm so glad to know my personal life is such an interest to them. There's nothing in the piles that is very important though, so it's not like they learn much. Okay, I was born farther south, not in Domino, and I spent six years, after I turned eight, moving around with my father, finally getting dropped off in the city at late fourteen. It means nothing.

Hey, lets read about what he received for his tenth birthday, it's on a paper over there.

Yes, the facts and stale details about my life hold people's interest for hours. They leave not knowing that much more about me than when they started. Sometimes they get to find paragraphs I write for essay assignments, works that never made the cut for me. It's funny to see their face drop when the story or information store just ends like my concentration did as I wrote it all. There's nothing terribly personal lying about, I hate writing about myself. Ergo, while it's fun to look through, my piles of junk are nothing but that - piles of junk.

Otogi tried to translate my writing assignments to my personality. It didn't really work. I had written a lot happier than I usually even act outwardly. Everyone had had quite a good laugh at this, but Otogi did come a little close with his ramble of serving others and insecurity. I had quickly defied his musing with the others to convince them all of this had been wrong. I think Otogi saw right through me, but he was nice enough to not bring it up again.

Now as I look over the Paper Mountains, I wonder just what has collected in the mass. I kick one over to spread the contents across the floor. I find I don't care if it makes a mess. The next person who comes to look through it all will be kind enough to straighten everything.

Finally, past all the grade certificates and grocery lists, I see one very thick sheet of paper. I pick up and realize just what it is made from. Cotton. Expensive.

__

'To Ryou Bakura;'

"I have arranged etc…etc…"

Seto Kaiba'

It's Kaiba's letter, back from when I was terrified over the businessman's frankness and superiority. I find it almost funny how paranoid I was then till I realize it's not different now. I'm still scared of Kaiba and what he may take his anger out on with the future break up. This is the very reason I'm not leaving the house. If I can lock angry Kaiba out for a while, then I still have some kind of faint hope to live longer.

Strangely, if he isn't mad at me, I also don't want to see a sorrowful Kaiba who doesn't care what went wrong and just mopes about doing nothing. That would mean he blames himself when it's obviously my own fault. I couldn't stand having him like that, but if I never know how he is reacting, I'll feel better. So, I stay in the apartment.

I don't know which I'd want to see over the other, furious and bloodthirsty Kaiba or depressed and severely distancing Kaiba. Neither is pleasant. I wish it were Seto Kaiba, the cold, heartless CEO in the corner of the class, looking down on us humans and our petty emotions from his arrogant perch in the sky. The Kaiba who does not know a smile from a smirk and hardly needs to show any emotions but greed, confidence, and self-appreciation.

Too bad the Billionaire/Millionaire/I-Don't-Exactly-Know-Which is human.

Too bad I just found out that no matter how hard I could try to avoid it, surprise; I'm human too.

I've always known other people had problems in their lives. The fact wasn't just some legend I heard of in moral-rich children stories. But I tried to see if I didn't have problems, if I could blow my issues aside and get over myself. I'm always terrified I will become self-centered in this home alone. I think this has evolved into a breed of some compulsive paranoia. I worry about everyone else and never realize I'm hurting myself till later.

I do hope I can grow out of that horrible trait. It scares me but I could never fully stop. Just like my counting and slight obsessions with inanimate objects and if they can think. I know I'm being foolish, but it is comforting.

Thank God no one really notices.

__

(The phone is ringing, kid, do something.)

I startle at this and look at the phone on the counter in the oh-so-distant kitchen. Slowly I walk to the sound, wanting to make it stop very badly as it breaks the silence.

"Hello?" I mutter timidly.

"Hello, Bakura? Are you there?"

I bite back a sigh. It's Anzu calling.

"No, I'm just the lobster picking up the phone," I reply. My voice is so flat and dull that she takes the remark literally for a few seconds.

"Oh, well, Bakura?"

"Yeah?"

"All of us are going to hang out in the park and we'd like you to join us. Well, Jounouchi and Yuugi want you to join us, but I wouldn't mind either. Are you coming?" she asks.

"Yeah," I answer, not very big on words at the moment.

"Hurry up then!" she orders happily and hangs up. I look around the house one more time before going to the door.

Yes, I'm leaving, but only because I was requested to do so. I also happen to know for a fact that Kaiba isn't with all of them because he is at his job and Jounouchi is presently alive by Anzu's tone. Normally at this time I'm watching Mokuba. I guess everyone found out I'm not working there anymore and decided to let me join all of them.

So, I'm going to the park.

* * *

"Hello, Bakura, where have you been all day?" Yuugi asks politely.

"At home," I answer as he randomly gestures in acknowledgement.

"All day?" Jounouchi asks confused and shocked that anyone could keep himself or herself alone so long. I nod at his question.

"Damn, that's a long time by yourself." Honda muses nearby. Again I nod silently. I know I'm not talking much, but when do I ever speak a lot? I'm the silent observer always.

"Don't you get bored?" Anzu asks. Joining the chain of questions about me. I shrug at this, still quiet.

"I'd get tired." Jounouchi tells all of us.

"Well, then you'd go to sleep and we'd all be happy," Honda kids back. Jounouchi glares at him good naturally and smiles as well. I watch from my own little window to the rest of the world.

There's a relaxed silence as Jounouchi and Honda make faces at each other. We watch them in amusement as the expressions become more colorful and random. Yuugi finally bursts out laughing along with Anzu. I force a smile and try to act as normal as possible. I wonder if the façade is even working or everyone just doesn't care too much to really acknowledge it. Right now, I just don't find Jounouchi or Honda quite that hilarious. I find them absolutely boring instead.

"Bakura, are you okay?" Jounouchi asks.

I look at him and now I'm curious why everyone asks if I'm okay. Is it I'm really that sad, that pathetic that everyone can notice? Am I so terrible at hiding myself? Everyone always wants to know if I'm okay. I'm not, but why do they even care?

"Fine, Jounouchi," I mutter. I wonder if he was told about the bathroom incident a few days ago? Most likely so, since him and Honda always get that information by Yuugi.

"You know, it's great you aren't working for Kaiba anymore, you get to hang out with us longer, and we are soooo cooler," Honda says. Jounouchi agrees enthusiastically. I try not to count sidewalk cracks.

"Yes, I do," I agree. I really want to change the subject.

"So how are all of you doing?" I ask nicely enough. Since they need to know so much about me, it's proper that they somehow bother to answer since I've been so corporative.

"Couldn't be better," Jounouchi smirks at Honda, who smiles and mouths the word 'Mai', pointing at Jounouchi. I nod knowingly at this new little relationship that's popped up.

"What about you, Yuugi?" I ask my friend quietly. He shrugs and grins at Anzu who is yelling at Honda for some immature remark I missed.

I think Yuugi just tried and succeeded in avoiding my question.

I wonder if him and Kaiba are still together. I wonder if this happens to be the last few hours of my mortal life. I wonder if Kaiba will forgive me for messing with his life.

I wonder a lot. I think I think too much.

I think I think? It almost looks like I'm stuttering. I need more creative chains of thought here past doom, death, and pain.

"Bakura, we're going to get lunch, come on," Anzu orders. I slowly just begin to realize I missed half the conversation.

I follow the others to a fast food restaurant a short distance away. I don't eat at simple places like this very often, so I don't know what is good and bad. Jounouchi just orders me one of his favorites and I sit down to wait while the others make selections.

I have to wait for the food to arrive. I don't know what it is, but I don't think Jounouchi would request anything too awful. Anzu tells us all about some people at school till the meal arrives. I watch the paper wrapped masses confused.

Inside the package is a plump little burger dripping with grease. Maybe if I squeeze it, the bread will drip lard like a sponge. I think that if well all got together, the group and me could slap the messes to the wall and see which slides down fastest. The food is nothing like what I usually eat on my own free will. I wonder if it's even safe?

"Eat, Bakura," Jounouchi commands as he attacks his burger. I watch feeling a bit sick.

I stare at my food again. The meal is very, very unbalanced. Before I can reach to touch the grease, a woman walks in. I find my attention suddenly drawn to her. She is about as big as a small pony and the cooks/cashiers seem to know her by name.

I suddenly realize what this uneven meal can do in the extremely long term and lose any appetite I've had. I observe as Jounouchi and Honda gorge themselves and I can't eat.

"Here," I mutter, pushing the burger to them, "Excuse me,' I apologize and rush outside as fast as possible.

"Are you feeling okay, Bakura?" I hear Yuugi ask as he comes out after me.

"Do you really eat that stuff, Yuugi?" I ask as he walks up.

"Yeah, all the time. Why?" I can see Yuugi is very confused at my rejection of his food pyramid. "Is your dad a heath freak or some kind of vegetarian?"

"No, my father fries food in grease, he does not soak it," I say a bit sharply.

Yuugi nods knowingly. "So I guess you don't eat fast food much."

I nod. So, he admits it is soaked in fatty sickness.

"So what do you eat when no one's home to scowl your diet?"

"Everything," I grin. "I inhale all my food in seconds and watch TV for hours with candy bars and microwave dinners."

He blinks a few times and grins at the lie, quickly finding the flaw.

"But you don't have a microwave, Bakura, your dad hates them, remember?" Yuugi says, laughing. Hate is too strong a word though. My father disapproves of them.

"Why, were you taking me seriously?" I smart back in return. Yuugi laughs at this and shakes his head.

"Than what do you eat?" he inquires since my last answer wasn't reliable.

"Whatever is in the apartment," I shrug, "I could always go to the store and buy pizza or something if I were really starving. I'm not really into the whole traditional eating habits. My mother would have literally kill me if she found out I liked chocolate ice cream."

"Really? That's funny. Does your father care so much?"

"Not that he's told me when he comes over." I shrug again in the simplicity of the answer.

"But you don't eat burgers?"

"No," I sigh, "They just don't hold much too much appeal over me, sorry."

"Then are you even going to go back in?" he asks, nodding to the restaurant. I shake my head.

"No, I think I'll just go home now, I don't feel very good." I say with an hand over my stomach for emphasis. Yuugi nods.

"I hope you feel better, Bakura," he consoles and heads back to the food place.

He hopes I feel better? How does that help me? He's going to break up with Kaiba. What with that makes me relieved in any way? I can't help but smile at the irony at his goodbye as I walk back home.

Maybe after Kaiba kills me I won't feel anything, much lest ill or sorrowful.

* * *

I missed Otogi's return to my apartment, so I'm by myself again. I find I'm disappointed but I also do not care and am a bit happy.

Don't even ask.

"Do lobsters eat rice?" I ask my large companion in the sink, because all I've been doing for the past few days is cleaning out his tub again and again. I just found out he's a Maine lobster like the breed found off the east coast of New England, in America. They are supposed to taste good. I wonder how it was for him to be shipped all the way over from the United States to Domino? Or was he raised in a tank somewhere not too far away?

I don't know. I don't speak lobster, remember?

In reply to my previous question, the animal ignores me.

"Is that a yes?" I mock, holding up a ladle full of rice near the water.

The lobster splashes the spoon and me with his tale and snaps his larger attack claw at my arm even though it is impossible for him to reach. I still understand the gesture. He doesn't want the food.

I've noticed a little about the lobster with all my free time and my new habit of eating dinner with it. His two claws are different sizes. One is big and he likes to snap at me with it. The other is small and usually carries food or the chopsticks that sometimes fall into the water. He can grip with both though, as was proven by an unwilling idiot we'll just call Otogi.

I look at my wet clothes and turn to the rice. It is wet with sink/lobster water. There goes my meal for tonight and my rice maker. The machine is wet now and I'll have to clean the dirty water out of it.

"You just ruined an entire day of rice," I complain lightly, "Why would I eat what you've splashed your soiled water all over?"

The animal ignores me again as I throw out the wet food. I need to make something else now and it's already late.

__

(Have you eaten anything today?)

Yes, I had breakfast, some kind of wheat cereal. That's it. I really wanted to eat just now.

__

(Then why did you take so long to make yourself dinner?)

I scowl at the voice. He knows the rice maker was broken; it never works when I'm actually hungry.

__

(Maybe you could eat that lobster?)

I look at the lobster, feeling angry with him and his attack of my meal. I fed him every day, did I not? I made sure he got his food and here he goes, ruining mine. Such disrespect!

"I am mad at you," I tell the lobster. It ignores me.

__

(Oh that will work, yadonushi, the animal looks terrified. You really put him in his place.)

I blush as I watch the lobster flop around lazily in his world of limited space within a sink. I don't really think it gives a damn about what I have to say.

__

(I say you kill it.)

I glare at the suggestion. I'm not killing that animal. I can't. I saved it from that.

__

(Why do you care about a lobster?)

"Will you please ignore me too? I don't want your opinion," I tell the other self.

"Sure, ignore you like everyone else does, yadonushi."

I look up at the semi-transparent person next to me. I always wondered if I was the only one who could see him like that, next to me and easier to talk to. Yuugi always talks to Yami no Yuugi and I think he's seeing things. It's kind of creepy at times because the spirit is like a ghost and has no reflection in anything. **(A)**

"Don't say that about them," I reply.

"Why? I think it's true," he sneers at me. I step across the room to the opposite end. I don't like the spirit and am glad he hardly leaves his Sennen Ring these days.

"Awe, you don't want my superior company? I'm afraid you'll have to get over that. I'm always with you, yadonushi even if we don't quite 'bond' as that foolish Pharaoh classifies his relationship with little Yuugi," he growls, but with all merriment, at me.

"Excuse me," I apologize, going to the living room. I sit on the couch slowly only to find him next to me.

"No!" I exclaim at the sudden appearance. I truly hate it when he does that.

"Surprise!" he mocks me. I'm wondering why he can't just be invisible in my mind again.

I remember perfectly well how he has treated me and I think when I'm my true self I suffer with the memory. You don't know this, but after he started ignoring me, I was glad and very willing just to convince myself he didn't exist. This meant to inter my past behavior and most recollections. I'd worry about other people to hide the fear that the Ring spirit would come back as more than the small voice in my mind.

Look where I am now. I hope he isn't here for good.

"What do you want from me?" I ask slowly. He laughs at my fear.

"You are pathetic. I can't believe I'm going to take over the world through you."

"Can't you go back to wherever you go, please? Can't you just plan your universal domination without terrorizing me?" I beg lightly, staring at the letters and documents on the floor. He turns his head to where I'm staring and picks up the cotton paper from Kaiba. I can see the words through his hands. He scoffs at the note.

"Is this from that new obsession of yours?" He smirks, reading the words, then mimics my voice back at me, "Uh…how…rud--frank. How frank."

I watch at he mocks my thoughts after I first read the letter.

"I can't believe you took this seriously," he says.

I wonder if the spirit should be planning some diabolical plot right now and not bothering me. He must have lots of nothing else to do.

"You agreed to baby-sit a child? Is there something I don't know about your gender?" he asks as I continue to watch the letter silently. "But then, your love interests are male, so I guess I know where you're standing now."

I shift uncomfortably and watch as he holds the letter up. I blink once before he tears it in half. I observe in shock as he turns it into fourths next. Finally it's torn from sixths and eights to little sixteenths and thirty some things. I'm surprised the spirit has the strength to fold and over lap the thick paper so many times and still be able to rip it. He stretches his arms out over my head and lets the little pieces rain from above and into my hair. I don't move, watching through eyes that are suddenly watering rapidly. He smirks at me and leans back.

"There, now get over that bastard," he says smugly. "I approved of his tactics, but not of you."

I stare at him, gaping. Why did he just do that? That letter was from Kaiba. How could he tear it up? What did I do to him?

"I'm evil, yadonushi, I do these things."

"Why can't you just pretend I'm not here again?" I ask as he sneers again.

"Because then I can't see that priceless expression of shock and terror," he says. Which isn't the real reason, but I never understand his reasons.

I don't even glare; I just look at his snobbish grin and start to hate the spirit more and more.

"You don't realize; I'm trying to help you. Kaiba is not good for you so you have to get over it," he tells me. I still can't see him through forming tears. "You need to toughen up, you little idiot. You're embarrassing me," he growls as I blink the more tears away. I'm not sure of they are for anger, sadness, shame, or all three.

"Can you please leave me alone?" I ask quietly. My voice is near cracking now.

"You're being weak. Stop acting os weird around everyone and get over Kaiba," he growls. He make sit sound easy, like a force of will.

"But they don't like me. I ruined everything. Kaiba will want me dead now," I mutter. The spirit stops and changes his amused expression to that of nothing. I don't know what he's thinking even though he can easily guess my thoughts.

"No, Kaiba cannot kill you or he'll kill me. If he tries to hurt you seriously, I will destroy him. You don't have to worry about dieing anytime soon," he tells me, making it clear I'm an idiot to think so. It is a cold fact. I nod silently. He is in no way trying to comfort me with his words.

"You only want me to stay with Yuugi and everyone so that you can keep the Sennen Puzzle in your sight," I say.

"So? You still need to stop acting like a child. How old are you?" he snaps at me.

"You don't care about anything, so we need at least one of us who does," I say, shaking the paper pieces from my head.

"Will you shut up about this caring and loving stuff? You're pathetic and defenseless," he growls at me, his face turning to anger, "Okay, no one likes you and yes, I only want to keep track of the puzzle. That's all you're good for, keeping the faith with all those little duelists, especially Yuugi Motou. That's your job, get over it, you're a servant, even if I've been out of your idiotic life for a few weeks. I wish I could leave it forever, fool. You are a terrible host."

I look down now as tears fall. Not even the spirit stuck with me wants to stay.

"Go ahead and cry, I'm ending this conversation," he snaps disappearing, going to that place he always is. I don't know where he lives, but it must be very interesting.

I begin to cry slowly, silently. The house is very quite excepting a few gasps and small sobs. Like earlier today, I tuck my knees up. I bury my face in the cloth of my jeans and quietly tear into the rough fabric. I can't believe I'm crying, but I can't stop now. I'm not strong; I should break down more often and not pretend I'm fine.

I hear the phone ringing angrily at me. I see it in my mind, right in the kitchen on the counter. I picture the lobster rising to get it and Anzu on the other line.

__

Bakura?  
"Sorry, this is his lobster; can I take a message?"  
What?!

The phone keeps ringing. The machine picks it up faithfully.

"Hello, this is the Bakura residence. Sorry, I can't come to the phone right now, but please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thank you."

"Bakura, I know you're home, pick up the phone!" a voice on the other end orders. I freeze a moment in my pathetic self loathing.

Seto Kaiba?

"Bakura, if you're resting, get out of bed and answer the phone. You're not a heavy sleeper."

I blink at the kitchen entryway at the voice echoing through the house. Who told Kaiba I was a light sleeper? Only a few people know, but considering how chatty all the people I know are, I suppose they gave him the information. Although why he'd even ask or care to know is beyond me. Kaiba's a gamer. More likely he's just bluffing.

"Bakura, I'll keep yelling till you pick up. Stop ignoring me!"

Slowly I get up and scuffle wearily to the phone.

"Bakura, stop--"

"He--hello?" I stutter quietly, trying to keep my voice from cracking again and wiping away a few new tears.

"Bakura? About time," Kaiba sighs angrily, "What took you so long?"

"It's late," I answer.

"I know. You're probably tired, but I don't know who else to talk to on this subject."

I intake a quick breath and try to get an answer formed.

"It's really late," I repeat myself sleepily.

"But you have to come over. I need to talk to you about something."

"Wh—why?" I ask slowly. I wonder if Yuugi's just dumped him and he wants to yell at me.

"Come over," he commands.

"It's late," I repeat again. I don't know why, but it seems my brain has turned off past that.

"So? I'm sending someone over to bring you."

"Phone?" I ask, not able to get my entire sentence out.

"No, I need to talk to you face-to-face, Bakura."

"Oh," is my creative answer.

"Bye," Kaiba finishes and hangs up. I stare at the receiver dumbly as the dial tone sounds. What just happened? Did I just agree to come over through the phrase 'It's late'? I look at the lobster that appears to be resting. I realize I need to wake up soon or I'll fall asleep at Kaiba's. I open the refrigerator and take out some coffee/tea.

My mother would have me arrested if she found out about my little caffeine drinking concoction. It's really kind of weird. Otogi hates it. Coffee/tea is something I sort of made when Otogi used one of my pots to make coffee. I made water for tea in the container afterwards without knowing. It tasted funny, the tea I made with the little coffee, but it wasn't bad (it was better than straight coffee) and I couldn't get to sleep until one in the morning. I make that stuff all the time now and it keeps me up when I have to study or something. Now I need it to keep myself up before Kaiba's driver comes over.

Slowly, I begin to wake a little more and go to the bathroom to wash my face, as I'm still not in control of my tears. I'm not even that depressed anymore but they don't stop. All the water does on my face is startle me even more awake, not calm me down. I grab a cloth handkerchief and hope it will stop the tears before I reach Kaiba's.

I wonder if I should go to Kaiba's? What if he wants to yell at me for my idiot ideas and great mistake? I might start crying again since I'm already in that state of mind. How does Kaiba treat weak people who fail him? Does he gloat at their defenselessness like my other self? Will the spirit have to banish him for our safety?

I hear the doorbell ring and decide I'm going. I don't have much of a choice.

I know Kaiba is not a pleasant person angry. He frightens me more sometimes than my father. Not the Ring Spirit, though. If I even thought of him when I saw Kaiba, I don't think I would have fallen for him in any way. Kaiba is just strength to me, someone stronger than I am. Even his weaknesses aren't as bad as my own. I'm this great, never-ending blemish you must get a doctor to remove or live with forever. Kaiba is wonderful when not a threat, but now I'm all but petrified with my timid anxiety.

Coming in, I noticed Kaiba gives off a sort of potent danger that vibrates throughout his home. The terrific mansion becomes evil and foreboding as its master inside; vexed at something I think I know.

I see why I'm over and why he wants to talk. He doesn't: he wants to state his anger and disappointment. He has to make sure I know just how badly I've ruined his life.

Can't say I looked forward to this, but I knew it was coming.

"Bakura," Kaiba greets me coldly as I walk into the living room/parlor/whatever you call it. I suppress a shutter and sit down silently. Kaiba looks very tired and troubled over something. Tired or angry, I can't tell which. I don't know what he wants and in the short I can say I'm terrified.

"Hello, Kaiba," I almost whisper, watching the fascinating floor.

"I think you know why you're here." He jumps right into the topic. I respect that about Kaiba, he doesn't beat around the bush till he forgets what he wants like me. He finds the answers as soon as possible, not delay them to the end.

And now I see it's finally happened. Yuugi has broken up with Kaiba and the businessman blames me. He should, me with my stupid idealism caused all this. Did I really think they would work out, Kaiba and Yuugi? Did I think like some all-knowing being I could put them together and earn some kind of respect in return? The inner me has been too vain.

"I know, Kaiba. Sorry, it's my fault," I reply, still fully addressing the carpet. I can't help but shrink back at his tone. I wonder if there is a hole in the cushions of this giant couch I'm sitting on that leads to an underground tunnel system connected with some rendezvous in Russia. That would be just great right about now.

To my horrible surprise, I realize this was not the answer Kaiba wanted. He pauses slightly in some unsettling contemplation.

"What?" he finally asks, "What do you mean?"

"It's my fault, I'm to blame for all of this."

"How?" he asks. I faintly realize I've confused him again, although this time he thinks I'm just being confusing because I'm an idiot.

I look up quickly. It is my fault, I know it and he can't see? I took him seriously and I let him fall for Yuugi a lot farther than his former obsession. Did he think otherwise?

"You had a mild adoration for Yuugi, Kaiba. I let it go further, even though I know it wouldn't have worked. I made this mistake and no apology could earn you or Yuugi's forgiveness." I confess quietly before I'm forced to look down.

"Are you crying?" he asks. I don't get the question. What does that have to do with anything?

"I'm not crying," I defend childishly. I feel like a little student who is being proved wrong over and over yet is still convince my facts are correct. Kaiba is some kind of almighty demigod just having a bout of curable idiocy with the whole Yuugi thing.

"Your eyes are red," he tells me. His voice is still cold and reprimanding the fact that I may be tearing from the mighty fear of him many suffer several times in their lives.

"My other self," I answer. Why does he even care? Lets focus on my great downfall now, okay? I planned on repenting my one error, not confessing some arsenal of demon sins that share my mind.

"Did he tell you everything was your fault?" Kaiba growls.

"No, I did because that is true. You didn't do anything to hurt yourself. Yuugi even told me all about his doubts before now. I never hinted it to you. I'm sorry," I apologize, "I really wanted it to work."

"Did you ever believe it would?" he asks a little harshly as it dawns on him that I may just be the one to blame.

"No," I reply truthfully, finding I can't lie to Kaiba now, "But I tried to."

"You lied? At my disadvantage, you lied to yourself?" He growls this silly conviction of mine. I feel like I need to shrivel up and blow away. I look at the floor a little longer. "Why?" he snaps.

I shift uncomfortably and try not to look up at him. It isn't hard since I don't want to see his face.

"Yesterday when I fired you, you knew it was hopeless, but you didn't tell me. Why?" he demands. I winch and find my voice has run away with my courage.

"You said we weren't compatible. How did you know this? Whom have you been talking to?" he continues.

I watch the floor. I wish my voice and courage hadn't ditched me. They should have taken my entire body with them. I feel very unappreciated by everything now.

"Answer a question, Bakura. Just pick one," he orders.

"I--I don't……." I mutter softly.

"I'm asking simple questions with simple answers. What are you so terrified of?" he asks. His voice sounds once more like that of some fed up teacher where I'm the same student who just can't get the answer.

"My other self," I mutter quietly. I'll blame this on the Ring Spirit.

"Ignore him and tell me why you let me and Yuugi go so far," Kaiba orders. I realize faintly this is actually the first time he directly mentioned Yuugi this entire conversation.

"I, I don't know," I reply, watching the table with such intenseness I think it may move if I want it to.

"I think you had a reason," he scowls. I watch the floor now where it rests right under my feet.

"I…."

"You?" Kaiba remarks impatiently.

"I thought you wanted that, to be happy with Yuugi," I mutter slowly. I doubt he even hears it.

"Huh?" he asks. He missed it and I don't think I could tell him again. He wants the answer though. Why won't he listen if he wants to know so badly?

"I thought it was, I thought," I repeat. I can't say it once more now and my voice is trying to run off again.

"Look up and tell me so I can hear, Bakura," he commands. I turn my head as he tries to get me to see him.

"Look up!" he scowls, grabbing my chin rudely and forcing his face into my vision. I pull away quickly, but I'm not fast. I was never fast. I look straight at a frustrated Kaiba.

"I though it was what you wanted; wanted Yuugi, that is, not the lying." I tell him again slowly, staring down again with my eyes and not my head.

"Look up, Bakura," Kaiba orders. I comply, as I did not mean to look away. It was reflex.

"Where you really trying to help me? You took me seriously?" he asks. I don't know why, but I'm filled with terror again.

"Yes, sorry, but it all went wrong. I won't ever again," I apologize.

"I don't need help," he insists. There's almost something defiant about this.

"I know," I mutter. I drop my head and try to see my shoes.

"Bakura," Kaiba warns. I quickly look up, even though my head is still down. I watched in surprise as Kaiba stiffens and tries quickly to summon a glare. I'm scared. What was that?

"Sorry," I apologize.

"Why did you want to help me, Bakura?" he asks. I realize he's not as angry as he was a few minutes ago. Maybe this is a good sign that him and Yuugi are okay after my error.

I shrug at his question, "I help, like Yuugi, only--I usually wait until I'm asked."

"You should," he snaps back. I turn my eyes down again cowardly.

"Bakura," he growls again. Quickly I sit up and face him.

"Sorry."

"What's so hard about looking some one in the eye?" he asks accusingly, like there's something completely wrong with it. There probably is. I shrug cautiously and try not to blink.

"Low self-esteem?" I answer.

"You need more confidence."

"You need more respect," I answer on impulse as he glares.

"You should ask before you become nosy!" he barks, still angry. I jump and scoot away.

"Where are you going?" he asks dangerously.

"Nowhere," I reply, trying to sit back.

"Why are you scared?" Kaiba growls at my fear of him angry.

"You're stronger than me," I answer, "And you're mad at me."

"So? This is all your fault apparently," he sneers. I can't help but hope the spirit wasn't lying about saving us.

"What are you going to do?" I ask nervously. Kaiba looks at me confused.

"What do you mean?" he asks annoyed.

"Aren't you angry?" I ask, now the one getting confused. "What happens to me now?"

Kaiba blinks a few times coldly before he sneers. I watch this terrified, wondering what's going on, what he must be planning. He can't kill me, but he must have some other idea.

"I'm not going to do anything to you," he replies.

I don't know of the last time relief and confusion felt the same. I'm safe? Why? Is there some subliminal message I don't see here? Is this one of those 'I spared you, you own me' bits?

"Gomen, I--I don't understand," I remark in surprise. I came expecting the worst so I wouldn't be disappointed--or I think I did. I suddenly realize maybe I'm too low for Great Kaiba to punish, to even worry about. I'm only here because I knew some things he didn't and, now that he is informed, I'm useless.

That does seem to me something Kaiba would do.

"Do you want me to do something about it?" he asks with what I sense is a slight touch of sarcasm.

"Well--no," I mutter slowly, "But you must be furious, Kaiba."

Kaiba nods at this, "I'm disappointed."

"Disappointed from what?" I ask carefully, trying not to set the billionaire off.

"From what happened," he tells me, "And from you. I didn't think you'd do that kind of matchmaking to people."

"Well, neither did I, if it helps," I offer brightly, hoping to raise Kaiba's mood. He shakes his head at this rejecting the support. I quickly become quiet again.

"I don't know what to do now, Bakura. What would you try to get over a loss?" he asks unhappily. Kaiba's sorrow and angry look exactly the same. He must be angry with sorrow when it comes. I feel very sad for him and very stupid for what I did. The guilt quickly rushes in and I have to try to absolve my mistake somehow.

"I don't know," I shrug. Oh, how very comforting of me, how heartfelt and understanding a reply. What else should I say, eat some pineapple sherbet? I don't think my ideas would hold a lot of appeal or sense.

"What am I suppose to do to forget all this as soon as possible?" he grumbles, a little immaturity echoing in the back of his serious tone, "Maybe I should just worry about Mokuba from now on."

I nod, as I'm not very sure my small vocabulary could produce a sufficient answer. I don't think Mokuba needs a lot of looking after anymore, but if Kaiba insists, I shouldn't stop him. I don't think Mokuba could really survive without money everywhere. Kaiba has meatly spoiled the child, but this keeps him alive quite well and satisfies the humanity in him that demands him to care. Maybe the great Mokuba cure will help Kaiba now and it will all be left and forgotten?

Sounds a little too easy for me. It cannot accept that answer because it's, too perfect, too simple and fast. I'm never put into situations with such clear-cut solutions.

"You know Mokuba won't go away. He's you're caring brother and always there," I say. I say nothing really, just agree with him.

"Yes, he is there, but he can't exactly help me," Kaiba says again, staring distantly at the wall or something near it. He looks very tired now. I'm expecting him to yawn any. I wonder if Kaiba is having a time of keeping awake? I would be if not for my caffeine.

"But work may help," I suggest timidly. It's not what I want to say, but it seems a safe remark.

"Are you joking?" he growls at me and I start to rethink why I brought up such a crazy idea. Was what I wanted to say really that bad? I dunno, a part of me sees Kaiba a only a businessman, who lives and breathes his work like an obsession. I know it dehumanizes him, but I prefer him dehumanized.

"My job gives me power, but does nothing for me otherwise. It's easy and boring. Magic and Wizards is more interesting and I've lost at it many times."

I make some random gesture in agreement. So Kaiba wants challenges? Funny. He lost the card challenge to Yuugi as well as the relationship. Knocked over twice by the same person. It's ironic. He almost killed himself over a game he technically lost to Yami no Yuugi and then gets frustrated after obsessing with Yuugi Motou.

"Oh, well I'm really sorry, Kaiba," I say again. Kaiba glares at me in annoyance.

"How many times do you plan on apologizing?" he asks. I blush and look down before remembering I'm not supposed to. Quickly, I look back up again.

__

(Why are we still here, yadonushi?)

I freeze. I do really hope that spirit does not come out. He might be planning something.

"Bakura, what was that?" Kaiba asks amid his Yuugi and horrible life griping.

__

(Are you okay? No, you have a crush on Domino's biggest jerk.)

I bite me lip nervously and wonder if I should leave before the Sennen Ring spirit does…something.

"Bakura?" Kaiba asks again. I don't reply as the spirit is gloating at my apprehension. It's getting on my nerves and biting my conscious. The voice terrifies me always. I have to keep it away from everyone like some horrible relative who's a wreck. It's dangerous to have the spirit mingle with normal people. This explains my solitary life sometimes.

__

(Maybe you should let me remove us from the depressing conversation/confessional.)

I pale as I feel the other soul try to take control of our body. Quickly I try to push it down and away.

__

(Fool, let me take care of this.)

My former experience tells me not to permit his control now. Idiot decency does likewise.

"I have to go right now," I whisper. I don't mean to sound suspicious, but I need to leave soon. It takes a lot of effort to hold back my other self.

"Why?" Kaiba glares at me coldly with anger and an amazing tone of disappointment at my abrupt need to leave him without a reason.

"Sorry, really sorry, but I really have to leave now, Kaiba," I tell him and head for the door quickly.

"Hey!" he yells and rises up against my uncharacteristic rudeness. I sigh and run out and away; thrilled the gate guard is willing to open up for me. He probably only plans on getting me in more trouble, but I don't mind.

"Stop, yadonushi," the cold voice next to my head orders, tripping me once we are far from the mansion. I fall stupidly to the ground and look up terrified at the spirit.

"Why can't I speak with your friend, Bakura?" he asks mockingly, "I'm not that bad, am I?"

Carefully I get up and keep walking. The Spirit keeps pace behind me, talking into my ear.

"You're awfully quiet, mortal," he continue to mock me, "Was it really that bad for you?"

I try to ignore him and keep heading for a blank nowhere. I don't even know where we are and I don't know if this even perturbs me in the slightest.

"Awe, is your precious little heart breaking?" he croons at me in my right ear, resulting in a turn left to the park entrance.

"The park! So many memories!" he exclaims as I hasten my stride, passing benches at some gait between a walk and a jog.

"How about you sit down, childish one? Try to think," he suggests. To my slight surprise I find I'm willing to comply with this. I walk over to the next wooden bench and sit down. The Spirit laughs comfortably at this and strolls to the nearby bridge.

"Want to drown yourself?" he asks looking down into the slow water, "Want to end it all? Punish yourself for this mess since no one else will? Someone must be smart enough to know you did wrong."

I looked at the spirit. His faded form is leaning over the rail and watching the water mischievously. He seems obsessed with it. There is something horrible running through his mind and I don't think I want to know what it is.

"Hey, has the little one forgotten how to speak?" he mocks me as he turns back.

My eyes drop at this. I'm tired. I'd check my watch if it wouldn't prove such a hassle now. Is there some spell going on I missed putting me to sleep? Is the spirit doing something?

"Feel the need to rest your eyes, yadonushi?" he asks, walking up again. My eyes involuntarily shut for a few seconds before I snap them open.

"Go ahead, slumber; see how I care," he snaps in annoyance as I try to stay up, "Dream about your perfect little Seto Kaiba like the pathetic fool you are. I can't believe my reincarnation is so terribly stupid."

I nod quickly as the caffeine wears away. The next second I'm asleep with the spirit laughing at me.

* * *

**Notes and Stuff:**

A: Yami no Yuugi has no reflection. I realized this watching the anime. When him and Yuugi are talking before the mime rushes up, in the water they stand by. Only Yuugi shows up. I wonder if this means Yuugi is crazy and the only one who sees Yami no Yuugi. Yami no Bakura also has these pointed canines. Really pointed canines you can see in the manga when he smiles/sneers/smirks. My dad pointed that out while we where watching anime. I never really did notice it before.

So, I hope all of you are doing okay. I hope you didn't think Seto was too strange. I tried, people, and that's all I can say about it. Forgive me if this is terrible. I am horribly sleep deprived. I think Seto turned out entirely wrong in this. I didn't mean it, serious.

I think everything is bouncing into Seto's attitude. He's getting colder, I've noticed, as the fic progresses. Damn, no, it's entirely wrong! Ryou has to love with him someday. Why can't I think anymore? My plot, it's falling apart. Damn it.

Ling no Yong


	9. Dream On

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yugioh. Or anything else mentioned that belongs to someone else.

The pairings introduced right now:  
Anzu/Yami no Yuugi  
Jounouchi/Mai

The crushes introduced right now:  
Ryou/Seto  
Ryou/Lobster

Thanks to MarmaladeGirl for beta reading! She has an amazing amount of time on her hands and has made this chapter easier to read by far than others before it.

Also, thanks to Relinquished for beta-checking this chapter. She also has lots of time….

* * *

**Chapter de Ninth: Dream On**

I'm having the strangest dream. Kaiba is standing next to what I think dimly is a whale or something. I walk closer to see, rather obviously, it is a water fountain. How could I mistake it so? Kaiba is looking into the water. I do likewise, to see a creature down there.

It's a lobster.

I look at the lobster again as it swims/scurries around and around. Finally it splashes at Kaiba and me, soaking us both with an amazing amount of water. I look at it, but I'm not bothered, Kaiba isn't soaked at all. He turns to ask a question.

"Why are you dripping, Bakura?"

I shake my head and answer.

"I'm not dripping, my hair is just damp."

"Where's the water?" he asks.

Indeed, I am not longer wet. For some reason this doesn't bother me like it would in the rational world. Kaiba sighs and shakes his head softly.

"Konnichiwa, Bakura-kun! I'm a lobster!" a voce announces.

I look down at the lobster in annoyance. It sounds like Otogi and has his facial expression. Kaiba's left eyebrow arches in surprise. He looks from the lobster to me slowly, contemplating. I smile nervously and push the lobster back into the water.

"Ryuuji Otogi's an idiot," I say as bubbles shoot up from the struggling animal.

"I don't care," he tells me quietly.

"Sorry," I blush and release the lobster, slightly noticing it swimming away.

"Bakura?" he asks. I nod faintly.

"What should I obsess over next time? Yuugi's gone," he asks. I blink in surprise at his question. Why would Kaiba say that? My dreams are too mental for comprehension. Where the hell did Otogi-lobster go?

"I'll obsess over you, how does that sound? Would you like that Bakura?" he asks, leaning forward. I realize suddenly, I would. I'd enjoy that quite well.

"Bakura? Hey, wake up."

A familiar voice is calling somewhere. I can hear it, but I have no idea what or where it is.

Otogi the lobster has returned.

"Quiet, lobster, I'm talking with someone," I inform him.

"I'm not a lobster Bakura, and I think you need to wake up," the voice commands as the earth spins.

Quickly I open my eyes to see Otogi holding my shoulders and shaking me roughly to knock away my sleepiness.

"What? Where? Excuse me! " I sputter in temporary memory loss. I look around wearily, barely remembering the slightest trace of Kaiba acting weird and some random dream.

"What's going on?" I ask loudly as I realize I'm in the park. How did I get here? Why am I yelling?

"Bakura, calm down," Otogi scowls gently as I start to recall the reason I'm here. I'm soon relaxed again as I realize it wasn't by accident.

Wait. I am here on accident. I crashed myself right into a big mess. I'm quickly remembering Kaiba and the infamous break up.

"How is Yuugi?" I ask calmly. I enjoy how reasonable I sound. It's nearly funny now.

"Fine, why?" Otogi asks confused.

"Him and Kaiba are no longer together," I inform him bluntly like it's a stale fact everyone knows now.

"Really?" he asks in false surprise. I nod and sit up the best I can, having just arose.

"Kaiba told me." I shrug. I really hope it seems I don't care.

"When?"

I falter. My voice is refusing to come forth. I don't think it wants to lie about my emotions for me again. I don't think I want to either.

How do you bribe your voice to speak? Mine is rebelling. What do you use to persuade vocal cords to cooperate?

"Are you okay, Bakura?" Otogi asks slowly with all that wonderful concern of his. Since I can't speak to him I shake my head.

"What's wrong?"

I don't know what's wrong. Is insane a good thing? Is denial a good thing? Is counting a good thing? What is 'wrong'? What is so bad to be incorrect? Am I incorrect? I'm just some screwed up, obsessive compulsive freak that should be locked up for the benefit of the public at large, aren't I?

"Bakura…?" Otogi asks again.

"What?"

"What's the matter?"

"Someone," my voice finally cooperates, just with Otogi though, not me. It's annoying, but then I sort of want it to say something. I want to blame it, probably later on, for everyone's sympathy on my moronic ideas.

Otogi takes this answer and consumes it slowly like I've just given some kind of lecture. That or I just presented him with a pie for breakfast. Since he is not eating right now though, I know he's comparing people in his mind, trying to see who could have upset me. I wonder if he'll be correct?

"Yuugi?" he asks finally. I pause to think. Well, maybe Yuugi does have something to do with all of this. But he isn't the only one, nor is he the one that really upset me. He was just a rung of the ladder leading up to the impossible confrontation.

"Among others," I mutter slowly, letting Otogi know he's close.

"Why would you go to Kaiba's at nine o'clock at night?" he asks flatly, getting the answer right on in his second guess. "You said he hates you."

"If you believe me every time I told you I was hated, you'd be well on thinking that the entire world and I weren't on speaking terms, Otogi," I answer him. "I tend to exaggerate temporary rejection. If some really hated me, I'd most likely sink onto denial."

Otogi nods at this answer, as he knows it is true. He's said I could convince myself there was no sun at noon if I was given reason enough.

"Why were you at Kaiba's?" he asks again, relentless in the topic.

"Conversation. I think Yuugi broke up with him yesterday or something. Either way, they are no longer together."

"Did he want to talk about Yuugi or just complain?" Otogi asked.

"He--" I stop. What was he talking about? I instantly think he was doing both, but how many times did he bring up Yuugi as in actually discussing the guy? I'm the one who brought my friend into the conversation and tried to rationalize his rejection, though I wasn't really asked to. The topic was actually my stupidity.

"He complained about what he was going to do. He thought I'd know."

"What did he think you knew about that?" Otogi mutters, shaking his head at what Kiaba could've possibly have been thinking.

"I don't know. I just went because he asked me to over the phone."

"You didn't have to go," Otogi points out.

"You don't have to worry, nothing happened."

"To Kaiba, nothing happened. I don't suppose you just risked being sent to jail just to sleep in the park for no apparent reason. What happened to you?" he asks. I'm too surprised to scowl at him and his strange understandings.

"My other self," I answer. The words just fly to my lips so quickly these days. Who did it? My other self. What's wrong with you? My other self. Why are you crying? My other self.

Otogi looks a little alarmed at this. He pulls away slightly.

"He's still there?" he asks. Like everyone else, he is terrified of the Sennen Ring spirit. The only reason Kaiba doesn't care is that Kaiba hasn't really seen much of the fiend's sociopath behavior. I don't think he'd even talk to me if he did.

"My other self is always there," I tell him tragically. That spirit is the obvious plague of my mortal existence. I used to pretend he wasn't there, that my friends collapsing after Monster World rounds were just a bizarre coincidence. I had trouble explaining away the five points of the Sennen Ring in my chest. I think I just convince myself I leaned over it the wrong way and ouch, hurt myself. Not till Yuugi actually proved a seemingly temporary banishment got rid of the voice and impulses did I truly realize there was someone else inside me. And I had just thought I was going insane actually.

_(You are insane.)_

I cringe slightly at the voice and look down. Nothing else happens. Finally, after a long silence, Otogi clears his throat. I look up blankly.

"You like Kaiba or something, don't you?" he asks suddenly. I freeze. I don't think getting struck by lightening out of the blue could be that much more alarming than Otogi's question.

"Kinda." I blush, which says my 'kinda' is kinda a lie.

"How?" Otogi asks. "He's so strange. So distant and cold."

I shake my head at this. "No, he's not actually. You ought to see him with his little brother. There's a reason Mokuba loves him so much. Kaiba isn't some amoral freak, he just obsess over some things too much; thinks too much."

"He might not like you. What do you think of that?"

"That's his opinion and beyond my control," I answer calmly, resigned. I can't manipulate people to change their minds about anything, including myself. They think what they want and I can't do anything about it.

"So you don't care? If someone likes you or they don't it's their issue and you shouldn't bother? Do you like being alone or something?" he asks, trying to force me to seriously think for myself.

"No, I don't like being alone."

"Then why do you stay away from everyone else? Why do you lock yourself in your house for hours, writing letters to dead family members? Is there some kind of point?" Otogi struggles with my behaviour. He always has. A little of what he says surprises me.

"What letters?" I ask slowly, pretending I have no idea what he's talking about.

"The ones I saw in you apartment a while back. They were in your room."

"You're not allowed in my room, Otogi," I say, a slight edge of anger in my tone. Otogi is not allowed in my room. No one can enter my room; anyone can come to my apartment. They can go through anything they want, raid the fridge, mix ammonia and bleach in the bathroom, but they cannot, cannot ever, go into my bedroom.

"I was curious, you never let people in there. The door is always unlocked and sometimes opened so you can see inside, but we aren't allowed to enter. I had to go in," he confesses without any sort of true guilt for what he did. I watch him shocked. I can't believe he would do something like that to me.

"When?" I ask slowly, trying to remain calm.

"The first time you were watching Mokuba." He shrugs, like he does not think it matters.

"What did you do?" I ask without an emotion, just blank disbelief.

"Walked in. At first I didn't see why you wouldn't allow anyone in there, it was just a normal room. Okay, maybe it was the cleanest area in the house, granted, but that was it. There was nothing interesting till Yuugi suggested we look in your desk and under your bed."

"YUUGI!" I quietly scream in horror. "Oh god. You _and _Yuugi went through my personal belongings?"

"Yeah. We found the letters in a desk drawer. All of them were written to your mother or your sister or brother. Yuugi though it was weird that all your letters were so old unsent. There were also no addresses anywhere. We found some other letters from your dad, but that was it. Yuugi and I divided and conquered the majority of the letters we found."

"Yuugi…." I still squeak nervously. "You read most of them?"

Otogi just continues. "You sounded so happy in the letters to your sister, noting her birthday each year and different events each time they came up. It was the same with your mother, though it was all very formal and stuff. Those were the ones we skimmed. They were boring. The notes to your brother we read almost aloud they were so interesting. In those you complained a bit about how you were living. Those seemed very sad and personal, even to send to your family."

"Yeah," I mutter, my hands trembling slightly in my shock and frustration. Why did he _and _Yuugi do this? Why did Yuugi? I thought Yuugi would be the last person to go through my more personal things. I couldn't keep the letters in the living room. Apparently I can't keep them anywhere now. Nothing is safe.

"Yuugi did think it was weird that only your father wrote back till I remembered why. I showed Yuugi some things in the living room that mentioned your mother and sister were dead, that they had been dead for a long time. Then Yuugi found out you didn't have a brother and freaked." Otogi says it all a little too casually. He's not taking this seriously.

"Why did you go into my room?" I ask again, slowly.

"It was Yuugi's idea actually." (Yuugi's idea??) "He thought you were hiding something." (Well, of course.) "We were both really worried about you." (I would be too.)

"That's why he was in your apartment when you sent Kaiba up after him. He was probably going through the papers again, heard the limo pull up, and ran to the living room coming up with a story. Did you ask Kaiba what Yuugi was crying about? He did cry after he read one of the letters to your 'brother' when both of us where up there. It was about one of your friends who went to the hospital after Monster World. It was strange. You're the one problem Yuugi doesn't think he can solve. He's all about thes loving the problem snad winning the game. He feels very sorry for you," Otogi tells me. So that is why Yuugi was too preoccupied to bother with Kaiba? He's trying to solve me and he doesn't know how.

I'm really starting to hate this.

"I stopped writing letters," I defend myself cautiously. **(A)**

"So we saw. Or maybe your life has been so busy you don't have the time? Did you plan on writing again?" he asks me. I look at the ground nervously.

"Her birthday's in a few days," I mutter quietly.

"Who's?" Otogi asks.

"Sister," I reply quietly. Otogi nods at this.

"There's no point in writing, she'll never read it." He tries to persuade me my writing is pointless when I already know.

"I like to think she does," I mumble, offended.

"Because you're silly," he replies.

I don't even bother to glare at him. I just don't say anything; don't think anything.

"So how long do you plan on staying in the park?" he asks finally, leaning back and preparing for a long stay.

"I'm leaving now, if you don't mind," I tell him as I get up. He nods and leaps to his feet.

"Lets not go to your place; how about mine? It's far from Yuugi, Kaiba and the park. No horrible memories or anything," he offers happily. I shrug and he frowns.

"Come on. Yes? No? Otogi-kun-get-out-of-my-face-because-I-wouldn't-follow-you-if-hell-froze-over?" he happily mocks in his usually happy mode again. I sigh.

"Sure, whatever," I allow as he drags me to a taxi. I follow him in and listen as he brags about his game adjustments.

* * *

"Dulse is a common name for several edible red algae that grow on rocky marine coasts. It is used widely as a food or condiment. Purple seaweeds of the genus Porphyra, sometimes called laver, are the most widely used for this purpose. Porphyra laciniata is grown in large quantities in Japan." **(B)**

I stare at the television mutely as a program on sea plants is being shown. Otogi looks in at it randomly.

"How many algae farms are there? Like, five just outside Domino?"

I shrug at this and keep watching. I find I don't really care, but Otogi keeps making comments so I need to listen to understand them.

"Several red algae, of which nori is the best known, are an important component of the diet of various peoples, especially the Japanese."

"I…don't…eat…algae…." Otogi mutters. I can't help but smirk at his mock expression of surprise, awe, and contradiction. Swiftly he changes the station to a cooking show,

"Daikon is especially superb with cold Soba noodles and served with a little sake--" Otogi turns off the TV, bored.

"I prefer pizza over tofu, thank you very much. These shows make it sound like Japanese people live of algae, rice, and sushi. Who eats that stuff every single day?" he asks, laughing. "It's not bad, but variety is great."

"I know some people who do," I inform him, "And algae bad. I like it."

"That's because you actually have this little thing called a family history and family members who embrace it, Bakura," Otogi remarks smartly. "For all I know, you are part samurai or something. Your mother's side could have been from those shogun days and just sorta faded out. Maybe you're royalty. Are there any swords passing around in you family from generation to generation?"

"I'm not anything," I tell him. "My relatives are just obsessed with history and being Japanese."

"Well, I don't have any past obsessed relatives, so you're lucky." He sighs slightly, leaning back on his couch till he's watching me upside down from where I lean against the wall behind him. "I'm just a poor hopeless clown. I smile, but I'm crying inside. Feel free to sympathize, my funny little feminine friend!"

I shake my head at this. "Otogi, do you even realize the amount of your cash inflow or did you lose count at one and a half million American dollars in comparison to yen?"

"How did you kn--owe!" he exclaims, losing his balance and falling, head first, to the floor. I arch my brow, not that amused. Meanwhile, he bursts out laughing like this is the most hilarious thing in the world. I watch silently as he raises himself to his feet.

"All this food on TV has made me hungry, I'm going for the kitchen to see if we have any delicious algae. Feel free to go where ever, even my room." He smirks and jogs to the kitchen.

I walk around timidly opening doors. I find an empty bedroom and I sit down on a mattress, grabbing a nearby book. Slowly I flip through it. The words in romanji aren't confusing. I recognize some words from English before I realize it's French. Go figure. I just count all the 'e' shapes and can hear far away someone knocking on the door to the apartment. Otogi rushes to answer and I hear the hinges creak lightly, begging for oil.

"What do you want?" Otogi growls. I wonder who it is.

"Is Bakura here?" a familiar voice asks. I lose count at the words, distracted by the Kaiba's presence.

"What if he is?"

"I want to talk with Bakura, Ryuuji," he demands of my friend, as if demanding Otogi to do anything works. I start counting all the 's' figures on page sixty-seven, hoping Kaiba leaves or comes in, not stand cruelly where I can hear, but not see him and not know what will happen.

"Does Bakura want to talk to you?"

"Let me in and we'll find out," Kaiba snaps. I lose count of 's' and move on the 'y' instead.

"Okay, but only because you actually _tried_ to find him," Otogi agrees, and lets the other in. I listen nervously as Kaiba walks through the doorway.

"Where is he?" the businessman asks and I can hear him turning around to see where I am.

"Somewhere, wasn't my turn to watch him," Otogi smirks and walks back to the kitchen. Kaiba sighs and makes his way down the hall, opening doors and looking inside. I hold my breath and keep counting, as he gets closer. My stomach does a terrible twist I find I don't like that much. After a mini eternity, he pushes open the door while I try to count letters.

"Bakura?" he asks, though I'm pretty sure by the white hair and pale complexion it's obvious. I look up nervously. I wonder if he is still angry and wants to finish his lecture to me. He can't be glad for that sudden exit yesterday.

"H—hello," I acknowledge slowly.

To my slight surprise, Kaiba stops to think before continuing.

"Are you okay?" he asks finally. I think he just did that to have something to say. Everyone asks that. Still, I'll answer anyway.

"Yes, fine now, thank you," I reply politely.

"I didn't know you read French," he nods at my book. I blush profusely and quickly explain away this misconception.

"I don't. I'm counting the letters," I say easily enough, looking down at the text. To read French, I'd have to be trilingual, when I still have trouble with bilingual. I wonder how many languages Kaiba speaks?

"Then you're not fine," he states. "Telling me what you think I want to hear won't help, Bakura. What's wrong?"

I watch him nervously and I can't help but see this giant thing that controls almost the entire country. Most people think of computer geniuses as nerds and losers. They think of big glasses, American Bill Gates and all those people in the Silicon Valley. They think of those large corporation owners all over the world that must tip the scales at 400 pounds. Kaiba is not like that. He appears more of an athlete with so dangerous a handsome face that not only symbolizes him as the leading Domino business CEO, but also an unproclaimed sex symbol for the generation that gives a damn.

This doesn't seem to stall his work. He doesn't even seem to care about the rest of the world and all those little worshipers; just focusing on his own tasks and mostly selfish goals, only looking angrily at the rest of humanity when Mokuba is suddenly not there. I wonder if I even existed to him before the thoughts of Yuugi Motou took over? Most likely I didn't, just an idea of my other self framed my face for Kaiba as he observed the Spirit's dueling prowess, not really knowing it wasn't me till later. Yuugi-tachi is a lot more important than I am in everything, so I follow them. I'm usually no more important than the trees and birds in the background. When I am noticed, I'm not equal to anything but a book on classifying dueler's cards when Yuugi isn't present and the card's owner doesn't give viewers a synopsis.

Will I go back to not existing after Kaiba gets over Yuugi? Will I return to nothing but the voice of confusing words that makes Jounouchi look at me funny due to his awesomely small vocabulary? Will I be avoided and over looked, not bothered with because, after Yuugi tells everyone about my insane letters, they won't know what to say to me? I could just move away again, start over in an even bigger city where I will not be noticed.

That would be a bit more difficult now though. I like Kaiba more while he's just starting to notice me less. His face is everywhere and I can't really run from it. I'll probably grow to some rambling old man telling younger people how I once babysat Mokuba Kaiba, _the _Mokuba Kaiba, brother of Seto Kaiba. They'll laugh at me and whisper to each other I'm just that man who went insane a while back, don't listen to him.

"Bakura, I'm waiting for you to say something. Say anything, just speak," Kaiba sighs commands, as I've been silent for what must have been a long time. I'm startled into reality rudely. Kaiba is always commanding things from people with a voice that wakes them up and makes them listen.

What do I say? I can say anything I want to, can't I? What do you tell when you have so much you want to make known? What do you do to work up to the topics you want to discuss, without being so obvious that you end up being laughed at? Do I even want to talk to Kaiba? He's egotistical and conceited. I'd have to be careful not to get him angry about whatever I finally say.

"Sorry," I mutter. It seems me being quiet upset Kaiba. It's only natural I should say I'm sorry for this.

"What did I tell you about over-apologizing, Bakura? It makes you look weak," Kaiba informs me. I feel very stupid now. Silence frustrated him and now, my one word speech did likewise.

"What should I say?" I finally ask. "What do you want me to tell you?"

Kaiba stops to think before suggesting anything. I suppose he's realizing he could ask me anything and I'd most likely answer with the truth. I must seem so strange to him. I don't lie often, but I don't trust anyone. It was made obvious the night I was fired, when he wanted to know what I knew about Yuugi, that I would have snapped and told him everything had he kept pressuring me. I'm not very good with secrets. Worst off, I'm drawn to Kaiba and will most likely tell him everything I know.

The only way I can keep anything private told to me is that I repress and forget it. I was better at hiding physical objects no one should see, till Yuugi and Otogi raided my room. I hate confrontation and to end it, I just answer all the questions I can so everyone will leave me alone. Only if something is really important and dangerously personal will I hold it in and not let anyone know not Kaiba, Yuugi or Otogi. Fortunately, I don't know that many personal things about other people for them to be in this category. But there are obviously some things about myself I keep well under the rug always. These things have a habit of sticking their heads out, though.

"Tell me about why you think," Kaiba pauses slightly and I think he just changed his question. "Why you think Yuugi and me didn't have much of a relationship."

I blink at him. If he changed his words mid-question, then that was a lame comeback. But of course, that doesn't make it any easier to answer.

"You two don't fit right," I answer obediently.

"Yes, I know, you already said that. Why?" he asks, causing me to extend my answer. I don't even think he wants me to answer him, he's just asking for no reason. He wasn't to punish me, and this question punishes me.

"Well," I stop to think my answer out slowly, "you, you don't need that kind of person. Yuugi is all about smiles and affection and helping everybody fix themselves. You're not and you don't like help. He does something you naturally don't like."

I stay silent and wait for Kaiba to contradict this. He does nothing and really doesn't seem to care. He's leaning against the wall nodding like what has taken me forever to come up with is something he is already aware of; something he has been aware of for far longer than I have.

"And?" he asks, telling me to go on. I look at him confused.

"Yuugi doesn't think you open up enough to give him comfort. He can't trust you. You probably consider him too open and naïve, now that you see how his usual behaviour goes. You're protective and Yuugi doesn't need it, no matter how well intentioned you are." I answer like I'm taking some test. I don't even know what I just said. I'm just running my mouth and praying it makes enough sense for Kaiba to change the subject.

"So you're saying the person I need has to be agreeable, slightly closed, and not crazy for affection but crazy enough about me to accept my behaviour? Sounds like you're saying my wonder date is a computer robot," Kaiba smirks slightly. Oh look, I'm being laughed at now. This is just so much better.

"It might be, but any fan girl will take you in a heart beat if you agreed to being glomped all day long," I mock mildly.

"I'd rather have a computer," he replies seriously. I'm slightly surprised. Girls must bother him a bit then. I guess the idea of any relationship bothers him, except Mokuba, whom he feels entitled to.

"Is that why yours keeps hitting on you?" I mock again. I've heard his computer. It sounds like such a flirty little personality. I thought it was funny. Mokuba let me talk to it. I don't think it really liked me. **(C)**

"What?" he asks, now the one surprised. He calms down quickly and smirks again smugly. "Did you think there was any other reason?"

"You've been with those machines too long, Kaiba," I sigh as he grins, superior against the wall.

"So? You spend too much time by yourself," he retaliates.

I scowl slightly at this. What does he know about my loneness and the reason I accept it? And computers aren't that much any better. They can have all the world of personality, but they aren't alive.

"Not like I can help that, though," I snap slightly.

"Maybe you should just do more?" Kaiba suggests, clueless as to why I stay away from most people when he doesn't mingle too much either.

"I do enough," I sigh. I remember all the friends I used to have and how my other self ruined everything. How my father ruined everything with constant moving and transferring me from school to school, giving my alter ego more victims. How my family ruined everything trying hard to mess my life up. How my letters ruined everything by not being burned. How I ruined everything by not just jumping off a skyscraper when everything started downhill instead of going into sever denial and thus causing even more pain.

"I do enough to let others do what they want," I finish. Kaiba looks at me and I swear his face epitomizes boredom. I'm turning a bit melodramatic now and he thinks it's dull.

"Or what they think they want," Kaiba adds. I look down guiltily and nod. "What about those who know what they need?" he asks. I'm not impressed. Maybe it's a deep question and very difficult to answer. I have to think a bit before I can say anything back.

"They're lucky," I finally shrug. "That means they have goals. I really don't, actually."

"Then you don't have a future," Kaiba says, criticizing my words.

"I don't care." I shrug again. "I don't have lots of things."

"Then you are pathetic," he growls. I feel very low now. Yes, tell me something I don't know, Kaiba. I'll most likely leave college only years later when I can't afford any more classes and die because I won't know what to do with myself. Thank you Kaiba, I needed that ego booster. No future sounds just about right.

"Maybe those insults are the reason Yuugi left you," I snap at him as he is making such predictions about me.

"What? Repeat that," he commands slowly. I bit my lip and hope I won't die now.

"I said your cruel words at the wrong time may not make Yuugi feel comfortable," I mutter.

"No," he corrects. "The part about Yuugi breaking up with me."

"It's probably a reason he did that." I tell him again slowly. To my alarm, Kaiba grins at me. He looks very amused and I wonder if that's the expression he always wears before killing someone?

"Bakura, Yuugi didn't break up with me." And he laughs, almost. "I broke up with Yuugi."

I blink slowly at him. What is so funny about this? He has come very close to smiling.

"But you were so devastated yesterday," I say as the Kaiba's face drops slightly.

"I was confused a bit by the reason why I wanted to leave him, I wasn't thinking straight," he nods seriously again.

"Why did you leave Yuugi?" I ask in shock. I can't believe it. This means Kaiba can't be that mad at me. Or, it just proves his gross intelligence.

"Yuugi and I thought we didn't get along. I liked him when I couldn't get to him. Yuugi was just open and boring. In a day I have so much information on him that I could have written his entire life's story."

I nod at this. Well, I was right about how they would get along! Congratulations. Yeah, I'm really proud….

"BAKURA!" I hear Otogi yell. He is suddenly in the room.

"You two still talking?" he asks with a smirk. I frown at him. Kaiba looks at him curiously.

"I guess Kaiba's doing all the talking, right? I know how he feels, it's like talking to a wall," Otogi jokes.

"Otogi," I mutter in annoyance. He twirls his hair a few seconds in blessed silence before his next attack. This time it was an actual 'attack' on me, like always.

"OTOGI!" I shriek as he jumps behind me and grabs my head, ruffling my hair.

"Stop it," I groan as my hair is perfectly ruined. Kaiba clears his throat loudly. Otogi finally stops and lets go of me, smirking like mad. He stands on the side of me away from Kaiba. I turn back the businessman flustered.

"Sorry," I apologized for Otogi's rabid behavior.

"It's not your fault," Kaiba corrects me.

"Yes it is, look how cute he is!" Otogi mocks, choking on his laughter. "With his face, Ryou's just begging for that."

I blush again. Why did he call me Ryou? Kaiba raises and eyebrow at this and I become fascinated with the wall since I am not permitted to apologize anymore. The wall has interesting designs on it. It's…well…it's just white….

Let's look away from the wall before it breaks into colour for no reason other than I'm crazy."

"I didn't mean _that_," Otogi sighs at the dumbfounded Kaiba and me. "It was joke, okay? Get it? This is what I do, I joke with you people. See? I was supposed to be _funny_."

"Ha. Ha. Ha." Kaiba growls at this.

"Oh, okay," I finally answer as Kaiba stops looking so tense.

"So did you tell him yet, Kaiba?" Otogi asks the other casually. I wonder what he's talking about. To my surprise, Kaiba answers, as the question was addressed to him. I've never seen him really talk with Ryuuji before.

"I was going to till you so rudely interrupted," Kaiba snaps.

"Oh, well then I'll leave you now. I'll just pretend I don't want to see you crash and burn as I make a sandwich in the kitchen. You will. I just came in to tell you to hurry up. Don't you have a company to run?" he says with several sarcastic winks like it's some secret sign I never got, like there is a conspiracy going on here.

"Don't you?" Kaiba snarls.

"Just hurry up. I don't like you in my apartment," Otogi says, this time managing to sound genuinely displeased. He makes a contradictory smile, however, and leaves.

"Thank god that's over with," Kaiba grumbles at the door as Otogi disappears.

I nod at this quietly. So what _is _the point of Kaiba's visit today?

"Bakura, I'm sort of sorry about all this," Kaiba apologizes halfway. I don't get it. And how can you be 'sort of' sorry anyway?

"What did you do?" I ask. I can picture him saying, 'Oh, well I hired a killer to come after you because I was angry. You'll be dead by tomorrow. I'm okay with you now, so I just thought you'd want to know. Sorry!'

"I started all of this mess with Yuugi, I pulled you into it. I'm not very proud of how I snapped at you for my little mistakes, and I don't want you taking this and throwing it completely out of proportion."

What? I never throw things out of proportion.

I'm obvious kidding.

"Oh," I mutter at Kaiba's words. I always have the most creative replies. I make a point to.

"So I was wondering if somehow I could maybe make up for it," Kaiba informs me confidently.

"How?" I ask, interested.

"How about I buy you dinner sometime?" he suggests. I can't believe how bored he sounds with this suggestion.

I don't care how completely uninterested in his offer Kaiba is, I'm all for it. The prospect of going somewhere with the Kaiba is something my mind only considers a fantasy. I think many people are of the same opinion when it comes to crushing over Seto Kaiba.

"Of course, Kaiba," I agree to the offer. I wouldn't really care if he just dragged me to some fast food restaurant, ordered a few burgers and announced, 'ta da! I bought dinner'.

Ouch, how can I think of such a thing? Do I always attack myself so viciously? Actually, Kaiba is too well known to just buy a meal at a commercial food chain where it costs so little.

"Okay. Tomorrow's Saturday, so you can come over to my office at one. I'll take you somewhere from there. Can you make it?" he asks. I'm surprised for a few seconds. Where will he take me?

I think over my plans for tomorrow. I'm not doing anything. My entire day is free. Just like all my others.

"Yeah," I reply, a little quiet. I wonder if he's bringing Mokuba?

"Then you better be there," Kaiba warns. I nod quickly.

* * *

Watch out, I'm annoyed! That means nothing's going to happen. I'm just going to complain about it obnoxiously.

Ehem.

We are all ignorant little fools, the center of our own universes. Some people are more open to their self-importance, making them not only confident, but terrible snobs as well.

This is my current philosophy.

Really, visiting Kaiba Corp headquarters is frustrating. You're pushed aside as hotheads and giant egos roar past you with the dominance of grown bull elephants. I'm generally a quiet, soft-spoken person who has actually gone so low as to acquire this ominous hassle called manners. None of those humongous ideals of themselves notice this and just brush past like I'm some ornament on their greatest enemy's wall. This means it doesn't matter if I fall and break. In fact, they'd be thrilled to see their accomplishment.

I think all of them are taking bets in their petty offices below Kaiba's on how long till me, the newcomer, trips and makes a fool of myself. The office pool revolves around a white haired freak trying to reach the lift.

I find myself dodging an entire crowd and falling into the coffee stand. This wins me many glares and some rude, unsophisticated gestures. That's when I see the stand is falling to the mail cart.

"Bakura, be careful!"

Kaiba, who steadies the drinks and rescues the letters from their soon-to-be fate as pulpy masses, saves me. I blush and am slightly amazed at how the intense traffic has nearly stopped with the his presence. Apparently mail doesn't mean that much to these people.

"I'm sorry," I apologize as I watch the man who shoved me scurrying away through a hall door.

Kaiba starts walking away. I follow, still shocked at how few people there are suddenly. We reach the up elevator to his office in seconds, not minutes. As the doors slide closed I can hear a rumble as people start pushing and swearing at each other again. Before all sound is cut off, I hear the unmistakable sound of the coffee stand experiencing Newton's laws of physics as it encounters the gravitational pull to the Earth's center. I wince at this, but Kaiba is seemingly oblivious to the crashes.

The elevator is soon on the top floor, the area of the top Kaiba Corp official's offices. I follow the billionaire, trying to be quiet since this level is very still and silent. The only sounds are computer keyboards being typed, papers ruffling, and some low conversation into a phone I cannot understand. I try to step lightly and not be loud, yet still keep up with Kaiba. Suddenly, though, everything I do is a big dramatic sound that seems to echo off the walls. I know someone's going to come out and tell me to stop it. I feel incredibly clumsy and stupid, like those are the only to words that have ever described me. Why aren't we in the office room yet? I want to be there and out of the hall.

Finally, Kaiba takes out his keys and unlocks a tall set of double doors. Inside is a large room with a giant floor to ceiling pane of glass. I gap at it in awe.

The view of Domino City is giant, framed picture. Everything is so much bigger and better for Seto Kaiba, even the window views. It's almost like there is nothing there, just an opening to what must be the heavens. The sun is shining and fading in one corner as the evening approaches. I'm almost terrified to go near the glass as I enter the room behind Kaiba. I wonder how thick it is, while the Kaiba walks up to the window casually and pulls a tan blind over the corner where the sun enters. There are several plane down the length of the pane to cover up the entire view.

I walk up to the glass to look at the city while Kaiba starts the computer at his desk. The view is now all I can see. I'm close enough to touch the pane and I do, lightly with the back of my hand, making sure it's there. I suddenly realize just how tall this building is and why people go after penthouse apartments so eagerly. I can see almost the entire city, even the school a few blocks away from here. The apartment complex I live at is visible as well since it is in walking distance of Domino High. In fact, I can see my now opened apartment windows where someone is moving around.

I lean forward and squint at the figure. I lean against the glass and try to see who is in my living room. Everyone is invited to my apartment whenever they want, but I'm just curious. Judging by the hair it's either Otogi or Yuugi.

Or maybe it's both? There are two people in there now and it looks like Yuugi and Otogi. What are they doing? I thought they'd already read everything in the place by now. What else could they want?

I look down for no reason after this discovery. This is a bad move since I'm terrified of heights.

The drop is so, so very long. You may even plummet for minutes before you hit the ground. I can't make myself look away from the little figures strolling about below. I'm terrified to move. Somehow I am convinced that the pane might slip or shatter if I apply any more weight to it. I'm not of the opinion glass can be strong.

"Bakura?" Kaiba asks, looking through one of his metal briefcases. "Are you okay?"

I can't answer. I'm terrified somehow the window will disappear and I will fall to my death. Nausea is trying to grip my stomach. I try to say something, but I just make some sound related to the most hilarious whimper muttered. Kaiba sighs in amusement at my stupidity and is soon pulling me away from the window.

"Bakura, don't stand there if you're scared of heights," he admonishes softly while I just end up facing him, burying my face into his shoulder and holding his arm. My heart is trying to slow to a normal speed as it just came very close to exploding.

"I thought the window would disappear and I'd fall through," I tell him quietly. Kaiba freezes slightly for a few seconds at the comment of falling out the window to certain death outside. I wonder vaguely what's wrong and how I can know the he paused.

"I'd prefer you stand away from the glass, Bakura," he orders with terrifyingly true concern. "It's not very safe."

I nod all too willing to comply before I realize what I'm doing, where I'm standing.

"Sorry!" I apologize, leaping off of Kaiba's arm and straightening up. "I didn't mean to do that."

"Don't worry about it," Kaiba remarks, briskly turning around and going back to his computer. He looks ready to add something, but just sits down and begins typing energetically. He's just locked me out. I stare at him for a few seconds. I can't believe I made such a fool of myself. I glare angrily at the window that did this to me. I must look like the perfect little idiotic baby now. I can't believe Kaiba let me just hold on like that! I guess he was too grossly shocked to do anything about it but stare and warn me not to go by the glass. That's probably what made him tense. He was wondering just what the crazy Bakura thought he was doing now.

I watch Kaiba typing a bit longer. There's nothing I can do to annul the after affects of my stupidity. I can only sit and wait till Kaiba gets off work early today at two. Then we can go, eat and eventually get this mess over with. Kaiba offering civility in the prospect I may not try to get him back for not apologizing is a strange view. I sort of consider it like him, to be so careful. I guess when you're rich and powerful you learn to tie knots swiftly before you get caught in them.

That's great. I see I have nothing to do now till we have to leave. We're supposed to just eat and wait for each other to finish their meal. This will somehow amend everything that's happened. After a few courses the both of us can just forget, ending whatever recognition I've earned from Kaiba and any social ties period. Everything will fall back smoothly to Yuugi and Kaiba on a dueling friendship/rivalry and me the great card reference.

Yeah, Yuugi only thinks I'm insane now. I probably am, too. I'm going to fall back to a group of friends full of condolences and little ideas to help me and improve my nerves.

Can't say I look forward to it.

Seeing as I'm about to drown in self-pity, I'm deciding to explore the rest of this office. I can't think about the future. I don't have one according to Kaiba. Thinking about it only wastes my time.

There isn't much in here, save a small conference table by the other corner of the window and two nice looking leather seats by a coffee table in front of Kaiba's desk. There are too many surfaces, two tables and a desk. The place is boring and oversized. All walls are painted quietly in whitish blues and navy carpeting covers the floor. There are no pictures anywhere. I see a darker spot where one must have hung before. I want to ask what used to be up there, but I hold it back. Kaiba must have taken down and it probably had some personal background that didn't concern me.

I soon find myself reclining on a short couch. It is a wonderful piece of furniture, black leather and well-cushioned. My form doesn't exactly fit across it lengthwise, as my feet are dangling over the edge, but I'm okay with it. I pull a smooth rock out of my pocket and start rotating it on the coffee table. I'm not facing the window now, I don't like it; I'm just watching the rock twirl about like a top. Kaiba pauses in his work for a few seconds and watches as well while I twist it once more to keep the spin motion continued. He starts typing again and I just keep watching as the rock finally slows and stops completely. I pick it up and start to toss it.

I see in the corner of my eye my shadow throwing the rock up into the air and catching it over and over. I'm well aware this could keep me occupied for hours.

I'm easily amused. This must be great for Kaiba since he doesn't need to keep me entertained. I'll find anything interesting. Kaiba wants people to wait for him to find time and I can do this easily. I admit; I like it more when he's actually acknowledging my presence, but I know better than to think he will not notice me walk out. Therefore, I now play with this little rock, tossing it from hand to hand and sending it up into the air.

I throw the rock up again and to my surprise, it doesn't come back. I look up to see a face above me, a claw-like hand clasped around my toy.

"Ehem?" a voice asks, the face raising its eyebrows at me lying across the entire length of the couch.

"I'm very sorry. Excuse me," I apologize quickly and sit up. I study the intruder through side-glances, trying not to be rude. It is a cruel looking old man I do not know who has taken my rock.

"Kaiba-sama," he nods to my escort, placing my rock on the table. The clink, the motion of his hand, all warn me not to pick it up again. Kaiba looks up at the man and sighs, making no secret of his displeasure that he's here.

"Yes?"

"Can you tell me what this is?" the man asks, pointing sternly at me. I sit up straighter as it seems I'm not going to be invisible.

"Ryou Bakura," Kaiba answers coldly, his perfect poker face having been established.

"Why is he here? I don't recognize his name. A small child who plays with gravel and reclines on couches? You let your friends into the office?" the old man accuses. I blush shamefully and watch the ground.

"Yes, I did and I assure you, there is nothing wrong with Bakura," Kaiba defends me.

"Bakura? Isn't Ryou, or are you two in some spite? But then, why would he be here?" Clearly the old man objects to my stay. I can't say why.

"He prefers Bakura, Gei," Kaiba says, civily by evilly. If I were Gei-sama now, I'd run fast and far away. Kaiba is nowhere near happy.

"Oh, and?" the man asks and gives me an inappreciative glance. "When Gozabaru Kaiba ran this place, no such things as these "Bakura's" slacked on couches and did nothing. This demonstrates poor judgment and immaturity."

Kaiba begins to silently, almost invisibly, fume at this insult to him. He looks ready to start something ugly with a few cold words. I feel like I really shouldn't be here now.

Before Kaiba can attack, the door opens. The click it makes is like the Golden Gates of Heaven, I'm sure. I expect to hear angels.

In walks a woman, tall and strict like everything else here. I wonder dimly in the back of my mind if she happens to be a robot. She walks like one, all stiff and straight. No human is like that.

"Kaiba-sama," she pipes mechanically. Was that a hinge squeak I just heard?

"Yes?" he asks in slight frustration, bestowed so profusely by Gei.

"Your appointment with Gei Saoki-sama has been moved. You have a meeting in thirty minutes," she informs. Suddenly the Heavenly nature of the door opening dissipates into fire and little glimpses of pitchforks. This robot woman's words cut right into Kaiba's and my plans.

Speaking of which, Kaiba turns to me with a look, which translates as uninterested.

"You'll have to leave, Bakura," he informs me bluntly. I nod back with equal enthusiasm. A statuette from the days of prehistory holds more expression in its feature. Kaiba can really set a mask when he has to. I can't see what he's thinking at all. All I know now is I have to leave. I forget whether I gestured in agreement. I nod once more as I remember I already have. My unfaithful face turns red as I stand up and make to go as soon as possible.

"Escort him, Tusaki," the statue that almost resembles Kaiba orders. The robot bows slightly in agreement and I follow it out to the lift.

Before I realize where I am and how I got there, I'm getting out of Kaiba's car in front of my apartment.

"Thank you," I say to the man driving. He looks at me in slight confusion.

"What?" he asks.

"Thanks for driving, I appreciate it," I elaborate. He shakes his head at this.

"Whatever," he says. I feel like scowling at this rude behavior, but I know he'll just break out into laughter. I just step away into the curb silently and watch him drive away.

Well, I was only being polite. It won't kill a person to say 'your welcome' once in a while.

_(Those are lynching words, yadonushi. They are also only in few vocabularies.)_

Why is everything so rude to me? Am I wearing Essence of Loser as a perfume? If so, I must smell something dreadfully pathetic.

_(Loser-sama, yadonushi.)_

I scowl slightly at the wall as I climb the stairs to my apartment. Nothing is going the right way. Does this cancellation just end any prospect of a last meal between me and Kaiba before we divide, go our separate ways?

Knowing Seto and myself, this may just happen. He will not want to bother and I will not confront him over the petty matter. From experience, know I'm easily forgotten.

Maybe it's better to die alone?

_(You are too morbid now.)_

* * *

I can't sleep now that I'm in bed. I've been wondering what I could have done if Kaiba's arrangement hadn't been canceled. I actually toy with the notion I could make him fall in love with me. That wouldn't be too bad. I'd be happy with that kind of circumstance. I can draw out little futures and how I could get his attention. I can picture myself doing amazing, impossible things and earning his affection.

Of course, this is all my imagination. It would never happen in reality in a thousand years, but it's fun to think of maybe. I highly doubt I could hold a civilized conversation with Kaiba like I envision, attracting him with intelligence. I'm not that smart.

I don't think Kaiba could be as impressed with the indigenous plant life of Costa Rica as I could imagine him becoming.

Still, I can hear wordless conversations in my mind about computers and money, which I actually know very little about. I couldn't possibly become an all-knowing technology wiz in five minutes, but I like to imaging I am while we eat in one of the many skits my mind keeps playing.

I know I'm pathetic, stop rolling your eyes at me.

I said stop.

Please?

_(The phone rings and once again you fail to notice it, yadonushi)_

I listen to the ring and just lay in bed, not moving. After five rings the answering machine will get it. I look to the phone on my nightstand. I can wait.

Or I can't.

Before I aware of what I'm doing, my hand reaches out. I'm hopping it will just knock the phone off the bedside table and into the wall, but it doesn't. My wicked fingers wrap firmly around the receiver and pick it up before the fifth ring ends.

My traitorous mouth answers.

"He--" I rejoice for five seconds as I yawn away the last syllable. Maybe the other side will realize how late it is? "Lo?"

"Bakura?"

Through an impressive display of self-control I mange to hold back the urge trying to make me throw the phone and scream.

"Yeah, Kaiba?"

I'm relieved at how normal my tone is at this inquiry.

"If you're sleeping, I could hang up. I just want to apologize."

I just _barely _hold back the desire to scream and slam the receiver into my forehead. Not only would this break the phone, it may even knock me out.

"At one in the morning? Did you really think I'd be awake?"

"I forgot."

What, that humans need to sleep? I glare slightly at the wall. How late _does_ Seto stay up every night?

"Okay, you're lucky, I'm awake. Annul your grievous debt."

Kaiba is silent for a few seconds as I realize my phrasing. What a great time to start sounding poetic! Well, at least I'm talking to a genius. Jounouchi would gape at the receiver for an hour.

"I'm listening. Talk." I order. Kaiba pauses and clears his throat before continuing his apology.

"I'm sorry, Bakura. I didn't think Gei would change my schedule like that today…"

Kaiba is apologizing for something that was not his fault? I have a strange feeling I'm still asleep.

"I mean, yesterday, since it's one in the morning."

"It wasn't your fault." I console.

"It was still rude."

I had no idea Kaiba even had a definition for 'rude'.

"Maybe we could arrange everything another time?" he asks.

Okay, I'm surprised the phone isn't lying useless and broken on the bedroom floor. I feel like I should snap it before I wake up because I'm obviously still dreaming.

"Sure," I can only mutter, still in shock.

"Good, Bakura."

"Yeah," I answer, finding that thinking has become a very strenuous activity.

"Don't worry about meeting me, I'll get a driver to pick you up."

I nod at this, only half aware he cannot see my reaction.

"You seem tired. I'll let you go. I just think we should get all this over with soon, understand?"

Suddenly I realize this is not a dream. Get all this over with? Yeah, I understand. I can return to nothing and he can treat me like everyone else. Kaiba does get over things fast. I mean, how concerned is he over Yuugi now? This is all just a big vacation for him. He could care less how I'm affected.

"Yeah, bye," I bail rapidly, hanging up the phone before Kaiba can say anything else to further kill my mood.

Sleep? What did that ever mean? I don't think I can close my eyes again. My dreams will never come true and I'll just watch my subconscious mind be proved wrong over and over. I should really stop thinking about Kaiba and all of what will never happen. I might live longer.

Since when did I want to live longer?

_(Will you stop that already?)_

* * *

**Notes and Stuff:**

I'm not going to tell you why I didn't update last week. You really don't want to know all that.


	10. The End

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yugioh.

The pairings introduced right now:  
Anzu/Yami no Yuugi  
Jounouchi/Mai

The crushes introduced right now:  
Ryou/Seto  
Ryou/Lobster

Thanks to MarmaladeGirl for beta reading and finally sending this back (sorry, but I was freaking out for a bit there).

Thanks to Relinquished for beta checking!

I wonder if anyone is reading fanfics this week? I mean, everyone I know is reading Harry Potter and What Ever the Title Is except for me (that is one long book). I feel like I'm missing out on something. I never really hopped on the HP bandwagon. I know some of you will be too busy with that to read my fanfic update. I almost wanted to wait a week for things to die down, but I figured some of you would have been in want of an update, so this chapter is long and pretty.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Chapter de Tenth: The End**

I'm dreaming way too much than is psychologically healthy these days, I know it. I hope they are inconsequential bouts of randomness that don't mean anything. But, _if_, for some outrageous reason I could never circumvent, the dreams are premonitions, I hope it is for the same granted affection from Kaiba each of them have conveyed.

I hope. I can no longer think because the stage is being set. I need to go live a false reality right now. Here goes.

For some cause pleading insanity, I picture myself in boots, a dress, and a cowboy hat. That's not right. Why?

Sorry, every time somebody mentions a stage my mind goes on Oklahoma for some odd, twisted reason.

Uh, yeah….

Ehem. Never mind. Back to my actual dream now.

I can't see the restaurant. All around is just candlelight from candles that don't seem to exist past the handsome figure before me. There is a floor, for which I'm thankful. I can slowly half drift, half propel myself to the other person. He nods at me formally and I smile with years of practiced manners.

Manners are swell.

From where in hell did that come?

Sorry. Why am I cursing so much anyways?

"I respect your showing up, Bakura."

"Yeah, I just felt we had to get over this someday. The sooner the better, I suppose."

I'm a bit sad at these words from my mouth, reciting the truth.

"But don't you see, I never want to get over this. I want you to arrive on time forever. I want everything to go my way, and that includes you with me."

I smile up at the figure and look into the face of Seto Kaiba.

"Really? If you're joking, I swear I'll do something."

He smirks at my threat. I admit a rubber ducky is a lot more intimidating than I could ever be, but I still try for no reason. I never expect people to take me seriously anymore.

"Do something like what, wake up?"

"No, I like this dream."

I sigh happily and rest my head on his shoulder. I know what it feels like now in my mind, I've done so before on accident, but now it is all fully acceptable. Kaiba holds me as well, but I can hardly notice because this has never really happened before. I can't dream about what I haven't truly experienced.

"Then wake up if you like it."

"I don't want to, Seto."

"You can't sleep forever, Ryou."

"Watch me."

Seto laughs at this. It is the last thing I hear before I'm overcome with a falling sensation. Shock rattles my entire form and I yelp as pain rushes in.

I glare around the bedroom from my new inhabitance on the floor. My alarm clock tells me it has been ringing devotedly for five hours. It's fairly after twelve in the afternoon. I can't believe it. **(A) **I groan at my impact with the ground. I suddenly see why some people prefer bed mats in their houses. Experiencing Newton's laws from over a foot in the air to solid ground is agonizing.

"Argh," I mutter, too sore to finish a short attempt at sitting up. I fall back and knock my head on the floor again. It hurts.

My arms shoot up painfully to check for injuries. My precious left hand hits the bedside table and causes things above to rattle and shift. One of these larger objects happens to be the phone. It also happens to be quite heavy and falling towards my face.

I can hardly defend myself from this attack. The malicious machine hits home on my head.

"Owie!" I whine and finally try to scoot away.

_(Owie? What are you, five?)_

"You awake, Ryou?"

I look up at the open door and glare at Otogi.

"Why the hell are you here? And why the hell didn't you grab the phone?"

_(From owie to hell? There _is _something wrong with you.)_

"Can't you see I'm reading?" Otogi asks and holds up a book.

"I hate you."

"I know," he shrugs, not caring.

"The phone just tried to kill me," I let him know.

"You don't say? Why exactly are you on the floor anyway?" he asks, studying my compromising position, tangled in a sheet and numbed by a blow to the head.

"I rolled out of bed."

"Sounds like an interesting dream."

"Yeah, it was; up until the part where I woke up."

"Funny. You're always funny, Ryou."

I glare at him, my lone soldier ant death look returning. This holds no terror in the heart of anything whatsoever. Otogi smirks at me again before walking out. I jump up and run after him.

"Why are you always here?" I yell as he enters the kitchen.

"I make sure you don't do anything terrible to yourself."

I glare at this slightly. What would I do to me? I can't even catch a cold when I want to.

"I'm not going to do anything. I'm not crazy."

"That's not what your letters told Yuugi and me." Otogi is not joking now. He looks serious. I guess this habit of mine that Yuugi and Otogi discovered rattled them more than I thought. I still can't help but feel a little angry with him.

"So what, are you two taking shifts over patrolling me?"

"Kinda. You have some serious issues, Ryou."

I frown at this name he has been calling me since I woke up.

"Stop calling me that!"

Otogi shakes his head at my order.

"See what I mean?"

"What? There's nothing wrong with that!" I announce, frustrated.

"Yeah, to you."

I grit my teeth in annoyance. He's proving to himself in some bizarre fashion that I'm insane with every word I say. He should try to cut me some slack, you know, since my mental state is so _very_ fragile.

"So, how did your meeting with Kaiba go?"

I start at this question for no reason. Somehow, Otogi has moved from the counter to the table and is sitting in a chair. I wonder how he did that. Maybe I just wasn't paying attention.

"Canceled," I answer, finding a nice wall to lean against, refusing a silent gesture from Otogi for me to sit down.

"That's terrible. Really?"

"Yes, so it's been arranged for a different time. We have to get this all over with so things will return to normal just as soon as possible."

Otogi fixes me with a studious glare, as if he is busy trying to see inside me, probing my mind. Apparently it isn't working, as he is still asking questions.

"Aren't you hoping for a bit more? I thought you said you liked Kaiba."

I see Otogi's memory is in perfect order while his mind reading skills are a bit faulty.

"It's not my place to control what is happening. I'll just simply get over it if he doesn't care about me at all, Otogi."

"Like you 'got over' your father and the Sennen Ring spirit? I don't want to see you do that, Bakura. You can't accept anything that affects you emotionally and you know it. You fall apart every single time something upsets you, you just don't let any of us know. Now, because it has been drawn to my attention, I will make you tell me."

I relax my glare at Otogi. He really is concerned about me along with everyone else. He doesn't want to see me hurt. He can't see, though, that I don't care. Nothing he could say could make me want to do anything to improve. He is like an older brother I have never had. Otogi does care, and he wants to help, but I'm not letting him. I can't allow anyone to convince me I just need to change to make life better. As far as I care, it is all supposed to be this way, me dreaming and by myself with everyone else doing whatever they do without me. I stopped worrying about what Otogi thought a long time ago.

"What do you want me to do, write a note to Kaiba telling him I'd like a little notice and some attention? Well, then you have my personality pegged there, Otogi." I exclaim in a slight annoyance, still on the offensive.

"Bakura, be serious. Ignoring yourself and what you may need is pathetic. It shows just how low you've come now. You live in your head and you don't do anything about what you're thinking. You don't tell anyone your problems. Yuugi thinks it's his fault. He's give you no-one to tell. I just think you're a weird kid."

Otogi is now glaring at _me_. He isn't happy with how I've set everything up to fall back down like so many wooden letter blocks. He's trying to put two and two together but he keeps getting five. He doesn't know anything about my constant fear. I live in fear of everything.

"Otogi, I don't even want to talk about all of this."

Otogi nods at this plea, "Fine, Bakura. But maybe someday you will, and I just hope you see how wrong you are."

"Well, that isn't right now. Today I just have another meeting scheduled."

Otogi knows obviously with whom, but he asks anyway.

"Kaiba set everything for today I presume?"

"Yes," I answer, standing up and exiting the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" Otogi asks, following.

"I'm feeding the lobster. Do you want to help?"

Otogi pales and backs away from me as I near the bathroom.

"No thanks, I'm leaving now."

I look at him surprised.

"You're leaving? I thought you were supposed to watch me?"

"I have a franchise to manage, Bakura, I can't baby-sit you all day."

I shake my head at this, wondering if Yuugi will be taking a shift.

"Just do me a favor and don't tell Yuugi. He thinks I'm staying all day."

"You lied to him!"

"Awe, Mahout, You make it sound like a bad thing," he says in mock offence.

"Get out of my apartment," I order calmly, casually pointing to the door.

"Fine, if that's the way it's gonna be, I'm already gone." Otogi replies, trying not to point at me too and laugh. I can tell he's being sarcastic. The two of us can't really keep up serious attitudes once we start it up. He'll actually try to have an intelligent conversation sometimes, but it's always something about me. For that reason I have to end the talk before I have to think about myself.

"Goodbye." I wave as he leaves.

I turn around and head for the bathroom again. I open the door and look in. I want to scream.

The lobster is drying in the tub, surrounded by very little water. He isn't moving very much. The tub has almost entirely drained.

"Oh no!"

I run over and take the lobster out. He doesn't move at all. Quickly I remove him from the half dry the tub and carry him to the kitchen. I think his antenna just lifted, but I'm not too hopeful. Softly I set him in the sink as I fill it with warm water and the marine salt I purchased at the pet store. The lobster finally does move, barely though. I'm busy trying not to panic. I don't know if he'll live. I run back to the bathroom and get his filters and things and install them. I hope I haven't taken too long.

"Don't die, you idiot," I scold at it.

The lobster fails to respond in any way to relieve my anxiety. Instead, the phone rings. I pick it up distantly, not truly aware or worried about whom it might be.

"Bakura, be ready to leave by five."

I recite my mechanical answer to anything Kaiba asks about these days.

"Yes, this really must be finished soon. Everything should go back to normal, Kaiba."

Kaiba tries to say something but I continue.

"I'll be ready. Goodbye"

I hang up rudely before Kaiba can say three words. It looks like everything will return to order. This damaged lobster in front of me helped cause all of the mess I'm in now. It actually stands for this period in my life where everything will make me move away from Domino. Today the lobster will die, Kaiba will end all connections I have with him, and Yuugi-tachi will want to have a deep discussion about our feelings. Ugh. I've tried so hard to avoid all of the confrontations I'm going to receive soon. I'm going to ask my father to send me to some other city, a bigger place, far from all these people and all these problems. I can still start over somewhere else.

_(You're not leaving all these Sennen Items behind.)_

I glare at the voice as it comes. The spirit doesn't care about me at all.

"My lobster is dying. What do I do?"

There is no answer to this question. The lobster, though the most eminent of my fears, is not the greatest of my worries. What I am really asking is what am I suppose to do? Kaiba is so desirable, and I'm so damn obsessive. I'm not thinking straight. It's more than four hours till the businessman and my last collaboration. I can't say I'm looking forward to it, but I really wish I were staring back at it, that it was all over and I could leave.

"Lobster?" I ask nervously, lifting the animal up. He is moving a bit where his breathing slits are. He may just live. I put him down slowly and watch him. I'm happy he isn't dead.

Maybe this is a sign? Maybe this is a good sign? **(B)**

* * *

"Where are we going, Kaiba?" I ask curiously. He's sitting next to me in the back of his car, or one of them. I've noticed there are subtle differences in each one. I wonder which Kaiba prefers? I'm not going to ask that, though, because he seems a little angry at something.

"Kampai," he informs me in a second. I nod at this and continue staring out the window. The car hitting a bump jolts me out of my budding thoughts and my seat. Kaiba hasn't moved, but scowls. I pray we do not crash sans seatbelts.

We reach the restaurant without any more driving problems. Kaiba walks out quickly from the car and waits for me to hurry up. Apparently I'm slowing down his schedule. I'm barely more than halfway to him when Kaiba starts walking briskly towards the entrance. In the doorway while he checks our reservation, I am in awe.

The Kampai restaurant is extraordinarily large. I could never afford to even walk into a place like this. There are waiters with tables and large groups of people. I'm struck mute at the grandeur of it all.

No, really. I'm surprised someone hasn't rushed up to charge me for breathing rights; because I'll be pinched if I'm not inhaling flavored oxygen. The entire room has the scent of food cooling in beautiful perfumes and women marinated in delicious smelling oils. I mean women in lovely perfumes and foods with engaging odors that look too nice to consume. Something like that…. All the air around me is weighted down by the distracting myriad of aroma variety. It's strange and I'm feeling a bit dizzy and lazy. I want to fall asleep for some reason. I hope Essence of Failure isn't emanating from me too strongly or I'd be repelling the entire crowd once we enter the dinning rooms.

"This way, Bakura," Kaiba orders, unfazed by the aura of the luxurious eating palace. I quickly rouse myself to attention and try to ignore the rest of the place and the little things that keep catching my eye.

A tall waiter (well, taller than me) leads us to our own spot. I'm relieved this place is a Western styled restaurant. I generally don't enjoy kneeling for three hours of polite eating. We are handed menus and left alone. I open mine for something to do.

I notice the absence of prices inside the ordermenus. I shift nervously, not knowing what to get. All too soon the waiter is back.

"What will you two be having?"

"Beef filet with sauce." Kaiba orders casually. I bit my lip and continue to study the list nervously. It would really help if I knew what half these dishes were.

If we weren't at a formal restaurant, I'd order creampuffs. Don't ask; I just would. I see them at the bottom of the menu. They are all I recognize.

"And what will you be ordering, sir?"

The waiter, to his credit, is _waiting_ for me to answer just as easily and confidently as Kaiba. I can't, all these words on the menu in front of me make zero sense right now. I'm looking for the "Leave Now, containing extra Trip to Hawaii on the side, smothered to perfection in your choice of Sudden Lethal Accident in Five Seconds or Instant Ass Saving by Well-Aimed Galactic Projectiles sauce".

Sadly, this combination seems to be either out of season or the high-class restaurant doesn't carry a Menu de Morons.

"He'll have the mild chicken rice dish, but with the sauce on the side," Kaiba breaks in before I make myself look little more of an idiot than I do on a daily basis. I don't know what I'm going to be eating, but I don't care. The patient waiter nods, bows, and exits. I turn to Kaiba. Mild is a term oft used in referring to dishes with spice. I wonder if knows how bad my mouth might burn?

"How far is the 'mild' in the mild chicken going?" I ask, a little uncertain.

"You'll barely taste it. Even Mokuba will eat the stuff," he informs me quickly; a bit annoyed that I bothered to ask.

I nod slowly at this and wait for our drinks, which Kaiba apparently ordered while I pointlessly deciphered my menu and failed. He's taken care of everything. I guess he really wants to get this over with sooner than later.

That's business. End everything officially before someone comes around to sue you for all you're worth.

Well, to sound cliché, that is.

"Kaiba-sama!" a voice exclaims in an I'm-So-Surprised-See-You-Here tone somewhere behind me, coming towards us. Kaiba actually brightens into his usual cold demeanor, not all that angry as he was coming in. I suppose sadly that he was dying for company that he understood better.

"Daikon-san," Kaiba nods at the man politely. If it wouldn't seem so terribly rude, I'd turn around to face this newcomer.

I am saved the embarrassment as the older man sits down with us. I find I actually recognize his face. He is the same old man from the theatre. I hope he has a terrible memory.

"Bakura-kun!"

No, his memory is totally fine, apparently.

"You two know each other?" Kaiba asks. The old man, Daikon, nods, smiling happily.

"Yes, but I was not aware he was your acquaintance, Kaiba. This is very nice to know."

I stay silent. I really do have nothing to say right now. Kaiba takes control of the conversation, asking the man about subjects concerning business. I do not understand this, am only half listening. The newcomer orders some food and we wait. Soon, the man has a paper out and is writing notes and drawing diagrams. I don't get any of this information that is currently flying over my head. Kaiba does though, and he looks very concentrated on the discussion. I eventually lapse into dormancy, not listening or acknowledging anything being said; just letting it flow over my head likes some foreign language. I hardly notice when the food comes.

"Are you eating, Bakura-kun?" the old man asked.

"He's waking up, Daikon."

I look up at Kaiba in surprise at this sarcasm. I wasn't aware he knew I was even here. To avoid any confusion or awkwardness, I grab my chopsticks and look to my dish. True to the name, the meal is chicken and rice with some ocean of sauce poured down next to it. I concentrate on appearing to be eating it while Daikon-san and Kaiba keep up their conversation.

"What do you think, Bakura?"

I look up in surprise at the old man's question. I really have _no idea_ what he wants me to say.

"Excuse me?"

Kaiba shakes his head at this and turns to the business associate.

"Daikon, he obviously wasn't listening. He doesn't understand."

"Is he in school?" Daikon asks curiously.

"Yes, and average, like all the other students."

Something in this remark is offending. I mean it's common knowledge Kaiba is completely above normal teens in intelligence and financial status (well, except maybe Otogi, though that's just with money, haha), but this remark still stings. So? I know Kaiba is a lot better than me. Everyone has always been. All the things I am even remotely good at are nothing or forbidden by different forces. Yet, I don't know how Kaiba comparing me to others could be so annoying. Maybe it's his attitude, like he didn't want to be here till he could talk to Daikon and ignore me.

"How are your grades, Bakura-kun?"

"Fine, I guess…."

"Do you do things like sports or such?"

I want to collapse into laughter. Yeah, I play soccer. Can't he tell by my muscular form and trained grace?

"None, unless coach makes us."

I hate coach, everyone does. He's a tyrant.

"Nothing? You don't do anything?"

"Yeah…." I'm self-conscious now.

"Oh."

The man looks a bit disappointed. I wonder why. I guess it's because I'm not some genius like Kaiba and good at everything. I look at the CEO warily as he seems frustrated now. I don't happen to have an on and off clicker for my soul either. I don't know why I even dream about Seto and me together. Maybe I'm never perfect. I can never be right for him. I know this.

Or, I'm going to try and keep this in my mind for a while. Tell myself that I just like this face or something, like everyone else.

I quietly turn back to my food and start picking at it promisingly with the primary Western eating utensil, a fork. The forks and knives are next to chopsticks. I guess the managers want the best of both worlds here. But I don't care much about actually eating anything right now. I never noticed the drinks being delivered, but they are here now. I take mine and concentrate on the liquid inside; trying to guess what it is since I didn't order any of this meal.

"Excuse me."

A sharp pain fills my mind, administered somewhere into my back when someone at the next table puts his arm too far on the back rest. Someone calls out at this disruption as I tip forward with the momentum of whatever nudged into me. My drink betrays my will to not be a hassle and spills over. Unluckily for me, the liquid is dark and the table has a white cloth.

For some odd reason the word "DOOM" flashes before my eyes periodically. I can hardly see till I sense the disruption and, most of all, Kaiba's disgust and anger.

"I'm very sorry."

Apparently this isn't good enough as the headwaiter comes up, complaining.

"What happened here?" he asks, glaring at the stained cloth and my empty glass. Before I can even take the breath to answer, he is scowling and ordering new arrangements and a transfer to a new table. Kaiba is watching me indignantly as well and I want to fall away. I want to dissolve into the tile floor and slip between the cracks, never seen again. I want to drip into the sewers and live the life as hermit below the slaughterhouse of my last social encounter with humankind.

"I'm really, really sorry," I apologize as we sit in a new area, our meals delivered safely while our former residence is cleaned up like an oil spill occurred rather than the tipping over of a tall glass.

Kaiba just watches me coldly and Daikon looks a bit flustered. I know they are both embarrassed to be in my company. I might as well leave now or kill myself with a knife.

But wait. It may sink these two businessmen's status down lower when one of their guests spills a drink then commits suicide in front of an entire restaurant. I don't think I should do that.

"I was knocked in the back, I really, truly didn't mean to make that mess."

"It cannot be helped, little Bakura. Our food is okay and it was obviously an accident. We have nothing to be sore at you about."

I nod. I don't think Kaiba is of the same mind as the old man. He turns to his meal and starts cutting it. I watch my own with zero appetite. After a few minutes he's talking to Daikon and pretending I'm not here.

I waste my food. The entire evening I pick at it and move it into designs, alone while I sit with two others. To them I am a little child who knows how to stay silent and is enjoying myself by myself, so they have nothing to worry about it. What hurts most is Kaiba. A few days ago he was almost human. Now I feel like I've walked in on the wrong place and am not supposed to be here. Everything wants me to go, but I must be forced to wait out the evening. It is a torture I have earned. I watch Kaiba speak about what I can't understand. He might as well be speaking Polish for all the good it does me. I can just watch, curious but ignorant as these two gods discuss various technicalities of their workstations.

I'm feeling stupid, only recognizing a few phrases. I wonder when Kaiba plans on leaving. I'm too busy thinking to realize the two colleagues before me are rising and quickly shaking hands. The shoptalk is apparently over.

"Farewell, it's been a pleasure meeting you two," Daikon informs us. I truly believe the jubilance and enthusiasm in his handshake with me. He is happy to get away. He is soon walking to the door while Kaiba finishes paying for our hardly eaten, but interestingly rearranged meals. I notice he wasn't very hungry either.

"Come on, Bakura."

This impersonal statement is the first thing he's said to me without a question invoking it since we arrived here. I can't help but feel my heart begin softly sinking into its cage of disappointment and depression. I silently follow him, watching his feet and not the people we walk by to exit. I know they are looking at me, whispering to one another about the klutz who went and spilt his glass over the table where he sat with Seto Kaiba, most eligible bachelor in Domino and leader in financial worth.

We are soon in the car and Kaiba, to his credit, lets me sit as far away as possible without hanging out the window like a flag. As soon as we reach the apartment building, I decide I have something to say before leaving Kaiba forever.

"There, I no longer exist. You owe me nothing."

Kaiba blinks at this but nods, understanding.

"So you know, I will not expect you to acknowledge me anymore at school or anywhere else. You don't have to concern yourself with my pathetic ideas any longer."

Seto nods, still not saying anything. I want him to smirk at something, to attack this little speech of mine, but I also want him to ignore it. What he answers is terrifying: silence. He nods and accepts what I'm saying. I hate this, but it also seems the only justified reply.

"Goodbye, Kaiba," I farewell.

I step out of the car. Nothing happens, no "wait, Ryou" or anything. I don't know what I've expected, but stepping out with nothing happening just seems strange. Did I think some god would strike me down or some dramatic scene would ensue and end with my death? I'm not even pulling theatrics by crying or having my voice crack. Just as emotionless as the man in the car behind me, I rise up and out the car door, closing it like always behind me before the driver comes around to do this instead. I walk up the steps to my apartment without even waving.

It's the end. I have school tomorrow and no time to go upstairs and cry for five hours. I just need to sleep.

And this time, I know I will not dream.

* * *

Two days after later.

I'm not too depressed, but I'm not happy, either. I did not dream about Kaiba and he did not go to class yesterday morning. He was avoiding me most likely. Today he is back and I'm returning the favor.

I'm ignoring everything he does, every question he answers correctly. Yesterday the Miss-Teacher-Lady was disappointed that I did not want to divert my thoughts' attention to her constant inquisition. She told me she was disappointed in the fact that I understood what she taught but displayed it so poorly. I wasn't really listening. She gave me a paper to write about why I don't focus on my in-class work and performed vocal analysis so pathetically. It's due by the end of this week and I haven't bothered to throw anything together at all. The essay is something meant to be overly centered on morals and respect for teachers, and I want nothing to do with it.

I'm just distracted. Today Kaiba is in the classroom and I do not want to do anything noticeable. I want to become invisible. I can't, though. Yuugi-tachi is watching me, waiting to pounce in my way and start asking me if I'm feeling all right and inviting me to various excursions throughout Domino's entertainment district. They will want me to go to a duel, hang out in the arcade, or save passer-byes from the frivolous and very much annoying boasts of Jounouchi and his achievements near groups of moderately attractive girls. I don't care for this too much. Yesterday I just barely escaped all of them. I plan on doing the same today.

"Bakura," a voice hisses behind me. It's Otogi. I ignore him so I can continue not listening to the sensei. He prods my back immaturely with a pencil, but I still will not turn around.

"A note, Bakura," he informs me, fluttering the folded paper by my ear. I ignore this too. He sighs and gives up.

Ms. Teacher Lady is showing off a charming display of fractions and triangular angles. My lack of outward fascination is strangely noticed.

"Bakura, if I add all these distances, what will I get?"

I am too far-gone to even acknowledge the fact I'm being asked a question. I must look completely wired out, but I will not answer her. I cannot. My mind is screaming and throwing thoughts at me, trying to force my mouth to recite orderly the solution to the question which it has concocted now. My lips are still not moving and my eyes start to focus on the blackness of the board rather than the writing and numbers that I understand but can't portray the finale of. The woman scowls and repeats her statement of yesterday.

"Ryou Bakura, I am terribly disappointed with this. Will you answer the question?"

My brain screams once. I wince, not from her harsh works, but the violence of the mathematician in my mind that is so devastated. With the final outburst, he passes away to the great grey matter in the sky. I suddenly drop all my answers, forgetting them. I watch the board confused and try to remember how everything's supposed to work. I missed too much of the lesson to know what to do. When I get around to my schoolwork at home later my mind will have assembled yet another personality devoted to math to help me recall everything, but now it is trying to reboot from the current death in the department. This is the fifth time I've given up on a subject in the middle of class this week and this week started two days ago.

"I don't have the answer," I reply truthfully while the teacher glares angrily. She turns to ask someone else.

"For a second there I thought you were going to give her the solution, Bakura."

I furrow my brow at Otogi's jest. He notes the fact I just listened to him and smirks. I want to strangle him, but that would cause a scene. He is very lucky I'm trying to be invisible. He is so lucky I'm trying to be invisible.

"Bakura, the bell just rang. Why are you still here?"

I turn around to look at the speaker, not entirely petrified in fear. Seto Kaiba just spoke?

"_Bakura_!"

I turn to look at Ms. Teacher Lady. She has been waiting for me. She knows I wait till the class is gone to leave.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"You stay here. I have a conference planned for you today."

I watch Kaiba nervously since he hasn't moved from his desk. I wonder what he wants? Does this conference have to do with him as well? Why wasn't I told. Maybe I was, I just wasn't listening.

"I'm talking to your father about your school participation, young man."

"He's--he's out of town, ma'am," I stutter, still wondering why the hell Kaiba is still here.

"Not anymore. We thought you'd convince him not to come. We called ourselves as various attempts from you to reach him have been…unsuccessful."

I watch my feet. Kaiba rises to exit finally, meeting the waiting hordes of fan girls outside the classroom.

I still don't understand why he was waiting. I also hate the teacher's unfairness. I should be allowed to know of meetings before they pounce on me. I never have told my father about the teacher arranging conferences. I always put off calling and complaining later to the teachers he had been relocated or unreachable. They never believed it I guess, but until now they hadn't done anything about the inconvenience. I wonder what incriminating information they have given him? I hope it wasn't too much.

"Are you the educator?"

I look at the voice of the man who as just entered. That is not my father. It's Daikon.

"Yes, are you Bakura's father?"

"No, he couldn't make it. I'm Daikon Seig."

I watch, in shock. I can't believe it. I have a feeling something in this has to do with Kaiba.

"Well, it's better than the nothing we've seen in past conferences, Daikon-sama."

"You don't say?"

The teacher nods and walks to her desk, pulling out a file. It is very large and looks ready to spring open and swallow us all. I think Ms. Teacher Lady has stuffed a person in there.

"This is the boy's test record for…" she pauses and looks at me for apparently no reason, "…This year only."

Daikon smiles at them. "Ambitious little test taker, hm?"

The woman opens the folder to reveal not a poor captive soul, but several papers and documents, many in my own handwriting. I look at them in mild curiosity. Many of the pages make up stapled batches from essays to scrap math papers teachers always insist on keeping, but are generally useless for any substantial grading since nothing is ever in order.

"So what is the problem? Bakura seems intelligent enough to pass."

Ms. Teacher Lady sighs at this and leafs absentmindedly through the answered quizzes and examinations before fixing Daikon with a serious glare.

"There is nothing wrong with his intellectual skills, it's his behavior that must be discussed. I want to make sure you don't assume grades mean the student is good."

How come my behavior annoys everyone so much now? It wasn't bothering them before. But then, in the past I didn't stay in one place long enough to be so thoroughly evaluated by everyone with the brain energy to cause a flicker of light in a string of holiday lights.

"Does he act up and pass notes? Many children do that."

"No, he doesn't."

"Then what is the problem?" Daikon is watching me, a bit confused. I sigh and watch my feet.

"It's the fact that he doesn't; the extent to which he refuses to interact with anyone in the class. One of my pupils, Seto Kaiba, is of the mind to avoid other students, but Bakura commits to zero acknowledgements to everyone. I'm afraid there is something wrong with him."

I want to scream at her, that woman who has bothered to educate me since I joined this school year. Why should my social behavior bother her so much?

"How does he ignore them, how often?"

I don't even know why Daikon gives a damn. This is a bunch of nonsense. She's making me sound antisocial and suffering from a borderline personality disorder. I don't plan on breaking the law or hurting anyone. I'm not mutilating myself in my spare time. I'm keeping my other self from everyone.

"Well, not all the time, I don't want you to get the wrong idea here. He will cooperate with some. Yuugi Motou and his group have a friendship with Bakura. So does Ryuuji Otogi as well. In fact, the two of them disrupted the class earlier this year with some pointless joke about clowns. He's also been know to speak with Seto occasionally"

"Then what's the problem?"

Daikon looks bored, but the Teacher is suddenly over come with an excited, angry fervor. Her voice drops and she is suddenly very enthusiastic in what she's saying. Of course, this may be a wrong description. She looks insane.

"He ignores me. You can't understand to what bounds he does this!" she exclaims, "He will not answer questions, he will act like he has an IQ of 60 and no one will care. Then, his work is good, but if I ask him the same questions he answered so well on paper, he will become confused and look like an idiot."

"Maybe the other students, the pressure…."

"That isn't it!" she says. I think I did drive her insane, "He listened last week, last week he answered everything for me."

"Your point, ma'am?"

"I think Bakura should be excused first."

I naturally want to know what she has to say now, but she doesn't want me to.

"Bakura, will you go wait outside the door till I call you back?"

I watch her, not moving. If I stay will she act like I don't understand her and keep talking?

"I know you can hear me, please leave."

I feel sorry for the woman. My strangeness has stressed her. I decide to comply and exit. I close the door after myself and try not to listen to the conversation. It's very hard since the teacher is raising her voice slowly.

"He ignored everyone he knew after he started answering me and he left the classroom as soon as possible, before I even got out the door. Even his close friend Ryuuji was surprised. For the past three weeks he's missed two days of school, Otogi was also absent for both of these. **(D)**

"What are you saying?"

"I think there are some things terrible wrong with that child and I want to transfer him to another class, for children who are…different."

I almost scream at this. She thinks I'm crazy and being homosexual with Otogi. She's hasn't exactly pointed it out yet, but I can tell. This all isn't really any of the woman's business.

"Bakura?"

I spin around quickly and look at the other wall. I didn't notice Kaiba was leaning against the door to the science lab, watching me and probably listening.

"Yes?"

"Is she talking with Daikon?"

"Yes," I answer, still not sure why Kaiba even cares. He's supposed to hate me.

"Why is he even here?" I ask, curious.

"To help, I asked him to."

"How did you…?"

"I know these things, Bakura," he informs me. There is silence, strange and difficult, filling the expanse of hall between us. Kaiba is watching me and thinking about something. I don't know what. I can hear Ms. Teacher Lady talking still, complaining about how difficult I am.

"Bakura isn't for the classroom. He is one of the worst disturbances a teacher can deal with. The class laughs when he actually answers because they think it's funny. I think it is pathetic. He shouldn't have that type of influence. The only reason I think he ignores me it that it doesn't affect his grade if he does everything else. And, even if he were failing, the law will not allow him to be held back to make up a year. Most educators will let this slide because his tests are so thoroughly done, but as a human being, with morals and expectations, I will not let him continue. It isn't right."

I stay silent throughout this. I don't get it. What she's saying doesn't make sense at all. I don't want to be moved to another class. Why does she want me out? My only friends are in that class. I'm confused and I know it shows to the statue across the hall.

"Come on, Bakura, you don't need to listen. It will sort out. Daikon will make sure. He's trained in negotiations." he assures me, motioning for me to follow as he leaves.

I don't understand what Kaiba is doing, but I don't care. I'm still spazzing over what the teacher was saying. I follow for a few feet before stopping.

"Where are we going, Kaiba?"

"For a drive."

"The conference…."

"Forget it, Bakura. I told you."

I obey and follow. I do not doubt Kaiba would drag me along if I didn't comply. He appears determined to have me go wherever he is taking us. All I can do is follow suit and trail behind him on the stair, down to the lobby, and out the door.

"Get in," Kaiba orders, pointing quickly to the car. I do as I am told quietly, without any resistance.

Kaiba tells the driver where to go and enters the vehicle on the opposite side of myself. I watch him nervously as the driver closes the door and enters the front. We are soon rolling down the street in silence. Kaiba seems on the verge of saying something to me, but keeps stopping before the words come out. I wonder what he is trying to say? Maybe it is about Yuugi? I don't know and I don't like it. Finally Kaiba just nods to the driver, who turns to the apartment building where I live. I prepare to get out and walk to my rooms till I'm stopped.

"Bakura, I was talking with Otogi yesterday. He said some things."

I stop reaching to open the door and turn to Kaiba surprised, but also confused.

"What did he say?" All the worst things come to mind.

"Some things. He's an idiot. He helped me see and accept something about this whole problem with Yuugi."

"What was that?"

Oh god, I can't even guess the answer to that one. Otogi is insane and unstable. Who knows what was running through Kaiba's mind? I should ask if he read anything.

"My shift in interests. I saw in Yuugi what I didn't want and discovered exactly what I wanted somewhere else," Kaiba informs me. Sounds like Kaiba played this whole thing trial and error. Oh, he's very compassionate. Kaiba cares so much about other people. I mean look all that grossly accumulating sympathy and eagerness to help. It just so beautiful and great. Yeah.

Wipe away those nonexistent tears of joy now people, we don't want any floods in here. But, before you start crying, elated at such a wonderful Kaiba, pinch yourselves. Yep, you just might be dreaming.

Don't worry; I do it all the time.

"You did? Was it another robot? Your secretary seems quite robotic." I ask with a slight smile.

"No, actually," he sneers at my brave remark, "Niether's a robot."

"He or a she?" I ask since Kaiba has always dated girls in the past up until now when Mokuba finally announces his brother is gay. So you never know just what gender the billionaire's going for. You have to ask.

"A he," Kaiba answers.

"Oh no, you love Yami no Yuugi don't you?" I ask with mock seriousness. Actually, Yami no Yuugi and Anzu get along quite well. Hint, hint, hint x infinity….

"And why would I do that?" Kaiba sighs in annoyance.

"Well, Otogi?" I ask again, but almost burst out laughing. Oh yes, him and Seto Kaiba where made for each other. I can see it now in the papers after their first anniversary: 'Kaiba and Ryuuji, One Year Still No Homicides!'

"How did you know, Bakura?" Kaiba sighs again and rolls his eyes at me. I quite agree with the gesture.

"Oh God, not _Jounouchi_!" I exclaim quietly in awe and horror.

"Bakura, what is your problem?"

"So it is Jounouchi? Man, I didn't know you liked puppies, that's so sweet and…so…not…like…you…." I grin. Most likely it's some guy I don't even know. Maybe there's a fellow businessman I haven't seen yet? I'd say Daikon, but he's married.

"No," Kaiba snaps in frustration at my inability to guess his new obsession/love. Apparently he thinks that he's making it obvious. "It's not any of those people, so stop guessing and let me tell you," he orders, though I can see he wants to smile.

"Okay, Kaiba, tell me about your soul mate!" I exaggerate the last two words and lean back, preparing for a long stay.

"You can tell me more," Kaiba daunts. I shake my head at this.

"I'm not going to help you again, Kaiba. Sorry, but I'm not forcing other people to go out with Domino's most egotistical-ehem-_eligible_ bachelor just because I'm an idiot." I promise him. I want him to make me disagree though. I want him to give me a chance to be semi useful again till he finally sees how pointless I am. He's looked down at me my entire stay in this city, booking my initials under Yuugi-tachi and forgetting I exist. Then he needs a tool to open Yuugi Motou up to him and guess which name he locates.

_Ryou Bakura: The group's anti bosom buddy. Is a mindless loser who has yet to figure out no one cares if he's there or not.  
__Interesting Characteristics: His hair has gone from blue/purple to white. He also possesses a pretty little necklace with an evil spirit inside of it. He is cursed, his life sucks, and he should be avoided unless you need a mindless drone to lie for you and have everyone's trust._

"You're not an idiot, Bakura," Kaiba snaps.

"Prove it," I find I have to reply. How can Kaiba not see this stupidity in me? Doesn't the first thing he notices about people happen to be their flaws? I don't want to play the exception to his nature.

"I don't like idiots, Bakura. You're not totally stupid," Kaiba admonishes me lightly. I blink.

I guess Kaiba reads my thoughts just as well as Otogi does. Which means he can't.

"Do you even notice when the Ms. Teacher--uh--Gashi-sensei asks me questions? A wall responds better," I inform him with sarcasm and blunt truth.

"You're not unintelligent, you just don't choose to answer, Bakura." Kaiba replies right above me again in superiority. I was wrong; he can read my mind a hell of a lot better than Otogi.

"But if you were indeed a fool, it wouldn't really bother me. Everyone's too smart anyways. They think quiet people are geniuses."

Oh yeah, he's got me pegged there. I have the brainpower to move chairs across the room and plot the beginning of life and all the cosmos.

Kaiba groans at my disbelieving face and gets out of the car. I do likewise and walk up the stairs to my apartment. To my surprise, I turn around and Kaiba is still there. He still has something to add to what he's said.

"But, you're most likely just average and distracted. It makes you more interesting."

I'm interesting? I can just gap at Kaiba in a numb silence as he stands by the door, this mass of abilities I can only guess and hardly scratch the surface of. He is smart, reads minds, manipulates like Satan, and is only five feet away.

Damn, I have to get out of here before I decide I'm going to sell my soul.

Kaiba finds me interesting? He likes me?

Likes me, not loves me; but this is more thought than I believed he gave to my little world here. For me this is a genuine surprise. I think Kaiba is suffering from a longing to be a dull average teenager. He's going to get over it, sadly, and become grown up again. I'll wait this out with him till he moves on and forgets I am here.

Still, could this be a flaw? Kaiba is looking for something. I better write a name on a bit of paper for him to get in touch with and run away as fast as I can. I'm heavy though, I won't get far with this little chance of making him turn to me weighing my legs. I have to get out now before insane ideas of Kaiba and me being together take root and grow, blossoming into disastrous fantasies even worst than before.

Remember, he's already gotten someone chosen for this next adventure and I should deport myself from his association.

"So, the lucky guy?" I ask finally, "The one you're going to fall head over heels for? I didn't guess him."

Kaiba actually furrows his brow at this expression.

"Okay, since falling sounds ugly and disgraceful, who's the one you're becoming considerably more fond of in an immensely touchy-feely way?" I rephrased.

Kaiba smirks lightly at my mid shift in words. I wonder exactly what happens to be so funny. Oh wait, I'm interesting. I'm like a jester. I really know how to make Kaiba smirk like he means it. For that reason I'm worth keeping around. Everyone needs someone to laugh at.

"His name's Ryou, but he's violent if you call him that," he says to me with his tone that what is being said is the most obvious thing--like he usually answers me actually.

But I'm not sure I actually heard that right.

"What?" I ask a bit unfaithfully as little pictures of Kaiba and me together threaten to shape and intensify over their limits: overtake the borders and pesticides I've spread around them. I will not trust myself to take this seriously.

"Ryou Bakura. Otherwise known as you." he says, stepping a bit closer. I jump an twice as far back, if not more.

"Why?" I ask, a little more than sort of unsure. You know, because Kaiba has got to have a reason. There's totally a reason for liking someone to that extent. Mine is that I'm an idiot. I've accepted it.

I know, he's joking. This is a trick. Kaiba read my thoughts about him and wants to laugh at me by making me give in to his jest. He's obviously about as mature as a kindergartener to do this. Can he hurry and grow up before all my notions of his supposed superiority and intelligence are shattered?

"Because I've always been interested in you, Bakura?" he says. For once, he doesn't really know the answer. Who am I to ask why after such a confession, anyway. I'm being unfair, but everything has to make sense.

If Kaiba has always been interested in me, then it all makes even less sense.

"No. You're obsessed with Yuugi," I remind him from my point of view on his wants. Everything had a place when he liked Yuugi.

"I noticed you first, in class, acting like an idiot. I was waiting to get an excuse to ask you to do something for me, anything. I was only curious about you. I didn't mean anything. I was going to have you baby-sit Mokuba until I came up with something." Kaiba explains himself and confuses me.

"Mokuba said you like Yuugi." I inform him bluntly.

"He is a good liar, very intelligent. I liked Yuugi a little, but I didn't mean it. I thought I did sometimes, but not really. I found I didn't enjoy dating him and looked forward more to talking with you about it later."

"But you kissed Yuugi outside the theatre!" I squeak, still not sure how I feel. Which should I be: angry or happy, scared or confident and overjoyed at what I'm hearing? It all sounds diabolical and selfish, but that's the definition of Kaiba Seto.

Kaiba shrugs at this like it means absolutely nothing whatsoever.

"I felt like it. I did what you advised about the music. It was the moment."

I stare at him in complete disbelief.

"Why where you watching us anyway?" he asks, his smirk coming again. He takes a step closer again and I respond by backing in the exact same direction. Kaiba looks a little frustrated at this, but I'm not letting him near me. I'm a little terrified as I realise who Kaiba is, what he's saying, and what could happen to me if I don't get away. There's a fact that someone can be too intimidating. Kaiba is that always.

Yes, I know I'm an idiot.

"But you hate me. You didn't talk to me at Kampai. I'm nothing."

"No you aren't." he says irritably. "Stop saying that. Clearly you considered me some ignorant employer. I was mad at myself and threw it on you because I didn't want to admit I wanted you. I was being selfish."

"I…."

I have nothing to say. I watch Kaiba in shock and fear. He is confusing me but he's making sense. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to prove him wrong.

"Is something the matter?" he asks finally.

_(Run away, yadonushi, run as fast as you can.)_

I blink at the warning. Kaiba is watching me curious and a little annoyed.

"Understand I want you," he says frankly. No-one's said they wanted me with a romantic sort of implication. I'm afraid when Kaiba says it.

I just don't pay much as much attention as I should while the voice in my head is telling me how to handle all this.

_(Walk out, leave, just get away.)_

"I really don't think you do. I'm not as interesting as you say, Kaiba." I apologize distantly as the voice gets even louder. "I'm a really boring person. Ask Ryuuji. You both seem to get along."

_(Why are we still here, yadonushi?) _

"It's not important life is devoted to periodic episodes of screaming. I want you and that's all that matters," Kaiba tells me stubbornly.

_(He'll hurt you like everyone else, idiot. He's more dangerous than everyone else. Head for door. Get inside and lock it.)_

I'm so distracted and torn between two voices; I haven't noticed Kaiba's approach. When I look up, he is right before me. I suddenly feel like I should run away. My foot steps back, just in case.

I want to think this isn't a joke, that Kaiba is being serious. In fact, he is near and I sense so little mocking authority in his expression for once. I almost believe he is telling the truth.

Almost, but the spirit of the Sennen Ring is not of the same opinion.

"Bakura?" he has to ask, as I'm pretty sure I look terrible. There must be an expression of pure terror across my face, as I don't know what to do. I'm not scared, just paranoid this is one of Kaiba's less hilarious outbursts and that I shouldn't respond.

Kaiba touches my face. It should be okay. Lots of people feel it in their minds it's time to brush their fingers over another eyes to blind them or rub a smear off their chin before a meeting with respectable others. But Kaiba is different. If I acknowledge what he's attempting, I'll nearly accept all of this. I want to. Maybe I just should and let whatever happens happen? What if I convince myself I don't care what happens?

Kaiba's hand detours and brushes some of my long hair away.

_(Hit him, child, run.)_

I can still hear the annoying voice. Why should I bother with it? Since when did my other self's information ever prove to be to my own benefit? He never really helps.

"Bakura--"

I turn around quickly, clearing my throat, and unlock the door, nervous. Kaiba doesn't seem to be lying to me that much and it's shocking in a way. He is still standing behind me. I know it and also that he may not leave unless I fight him off the welcome mat to my apartment. That would be kind of ironic, the mat says, "Welcome" on it and I'd be chasing him away. I watch the dark lettering almost under my feet and try to get the difficult door lock to behave and cooperate with me. The door finally opens after what seems an hour of trying to get the key in. I turn to say goodbye to Kaiba but I've forgot one thing. Kaiba doesn't understand 'no, go away, I'm terrified of you.' It's a concept no-one's ever really taught him.

I'm caught against him in seconds before I can speak. I don't even have the time to yelp in surprise as two alien lips press my own forcefully.

It's not a very enjoyable kiss, as I'm not fully committed. Kaiba's doing his best, but I refuse to cooperate. My mind acts like it just experienced dry ice and freezes dead for a few seconds before I realize the major point here: _Kaiba is kissing me_. This is slightly warming and a few thoughts are permitted formation. Instinctively my hands reach out rest on the front of his uniform, over his chest. I don't know if I'm responding to prepare to throw him off or if I'm going to pulling him towards me eagerly. The topic of to run or not is decided already, I see, as Kaiba has my shoulders in his possession and I can't get away.

_(You're not doing what I think you're doing, baka.)_

I don't care what that voice has to say right this second. Kaiba's attack was entirely uncalled for, but I'm stuck here now. His grip tightens and I try to get out of it. He takes this moment to invade my mouth smoothly and take things further under his control. My brain is currently on defrost and not planning much by means of retaliation. I can depend on myself for nothing.

_(You are disgusting me, yadonushi.)_

Suddenly a door opens. Seto breaks away and turns around fast, glaring at the poor soul who has entered his little moment.

"Sorry, I didn't see anything!"

Quickly the horrified tenet covers his eyes and hurries back into his apartment. I take the time from this distraction to open my door and halfway enter my apartment. My face is burning up. I'm surprised my hair hasn't burst into flames. I have obviously unfrozen myself.

Kaiba glares a bit longer at the neighbor's disappearing direction before turning back to me. I watch him, halfway in the front room with the door partly closed, trying to calm myself. This is wrong; I know it. Kaiba can't be in love with me. It's something he doesn't understand. If he knew the first thing about who I am he'd run faster than if I were the Sennen Ring Spirit.

"What's wrong, Bakura?" Kaiba asks, stepping towards me again. I threaten to close the door and he backs up a moderate amount. I'm trying to think rationally and I know I can't let him follow me into the apartment. It's Seto Kaiba, for crying out loud. He'd probably want to kiss me again. Maybe more. I'm not ready. I'm not even ready to hear him say he want's me like he does.

"Don't say you 'want' me," I order cautiously. Kaiba is startled at this and glares slightly. He can't realize he's being an idiot; he's only convinced himself he's in some kind of passion. In reality it just a temporary longing I don't want to fulfill. "You're smart. Please leave."

"Bakura, how could you request such a thing? I love you."

I shake my head at this. Maybe my brain is tarnished and suffering freezer burn because the next words I recite before even planning are evil.

"Like you loved Yuugi, right?"

Kaiba frowns. I've finally stated what bothers me. I saw how he felt about the Motou and I don't want to be with him if he'll fall away from me the same way.

"Bakura, I always wanted you all along. Can't you see? I'm not lying."

Kaiba is getting angry. I can't believe how immature he's acting.

"How do I know? Maybe you are telling the truth now, how do _I_ really know?"

"Bakura, don't say that--"

I shake my head as reality makes its face clearer. Kaiba watches, the amazing expression that is confusion on his face. His lovely determined face. Who am I not to give in to him?

"There are reasons, Seto. For your own good, stay away."

I close the door and lock it. Kaiba stands on the other side in silence before walking away. I listen to him going down the steps and opening the door to his car. He barks at his driver and is soon gone. I sigh as I take my shoes off and cross the room.

I was so close. Haven't I wanted Kaiba all along? Why can't I let him have me?

I don't think I entirely believe him, still. It's terrible. I'm bringing myself down to nothing. I'm pushing everything I want away again.

_(I admire your participation in my orders, yadonushi. Keep that person away from us.)_

I nod glumly at this voice. I guess I did obey the commands. I'm pathetic. I can't think straight and the first idea I listen to happens to be that of the insane spirit in my mind. This is great. Everything is so wonderful now.

I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow if Kaiba tries to talk to me like everyone else. I don't want anyone coming over here right now. I can hardly avoid them all during school. It's horrible. I wish none of this were happening. People are starting to notice me and I really don't feel in anyway comfortable and safe. Most others want to be seen, recognized by the world. I don't. I can convince myself I do, but I prefer the background shades when compared to the more colorful life. All I wanted was Kaiba, not all this attention.

I can't leave my apartment tomorrow. I better just stay here and arrange plans to move to a far away place. Maybe Russia? I could learn the language and immigrate. I'd be really invisible in a white coat and all that snow far, far north. Maybe I could ice fish or drive a dog team. I could go to Alaska in the United States. I like snow well enough. I could do that. Then my family couldn't find me, my 'friends' couldn't find me, Kaiba couldn't find me (though I doubt he'd want to after today) and maybe, just maybe, I couldn't fine me too.

_(That plan has about a snowball's chance in hell.)_

So? I need to think of something. My idea is better than nothing. I mean, it's not impossible, just highly unlikely.

_(What do you know about ice fishing and sled dogs, you baka. Recite a bit of Russian.)_

Okay, scratch that spurt of thought. I'll come up with something else. Anything else. It isn't important what.

* * *

**Notes and Stuff:**

A: I HAVE slept through and alarm for three hours. My friends had come over to wake me up; I was so out of it.  
B: You should have seen me debate whether I was going to kill that lobster. I had two endings planned where he lives and where he dies.  
C: Daikon-sama uses honorifics because he is one of those annoyingly polite people. I don't see why Ryou has to add the –kun and -san mentally to peoples names. I don't think of my teachers and authorities with Mrs. or Mr. Before their names. And, most importantly, this fic is mostly English and all those honorifics get a bit lame. I deleted all the -kun's, the -sama's, and the -san's I first had in this fic along with a majority of the Japanese. Simplicity is sacred and my plot is already getting confusing enough.  
D: One day Ryou was sick and Otogi was there, one day Ryou was at the park and then went to Otogi's.


	11. Carrousel

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Yugioh.

The pairings introduced right now:  
Anzu/Yami no Yuugi  
Jounouchi/Mai

The crushes introduced right now:  
Ryou/Seto  
Ryou/Lobster

Thank you, MarmaladeGirl as usual for beta reading. Thanks to her too, I changed this chapter again because I readjusted the plot. Thanks as well to R. Amythest for beta reading my adjusted version. I've confused so many people now. I don't know what _I'm_ thinking anymore.

* * *

**Chapter de Eleventh: Carrousel**

"Bakura, yesterday's actions where completely uncalled for. I did not dismiss you from the conference."

"Yes, ma'am."

Here I am; taking the blame for something Kaiba got me into. If he cares so much, why isn't he here pleading my case? I guess he really does hate me for yesterday. I didn't mean to look so inconsiderate, I've been thinking of his offer all night. I'm extremely tempted to agree. Really, I'm more than willing to start following him like some god, but I can't do that. I decided I'm going to make him choose what to do. If he is sure he wants to be in love with an insane, paranoid, idiot who has no idea what he really wants, that's his issue. I have enough of my own that anyone could turn away from me because of.

I haven't told Otogi my idea yet. It's the best I could come up with and I'm scared he'll talk me out of it. With Otogi's guidance I would be stuck delaying everything till Kaiba is forced to having to stop waiting. But with Kaiba you never know. People don't keep him waiting often.

"Ryou, for the love of God! Are you even listening?"

"Yes."

"Daikon refused to send you to another class (thank you god), and he denied there was anything wrong with you."

"I understand."

"Are you sure? Do I have to repeat it?"

I want to frown at the woman, but through an amazing show of will, I do not. Instead I nod respectfully.

"May I please be excused now?"

Ms. Teacher Lady sighs at this while I eye the open exit longingly. She furrows her brow slightly at my eagerness to be gone. Stiffly, she points out the door. I feel obliged to commit some bizarre bow of sorts before leaving her furious presence. I hope she will not take this as a mockery. I just want her to know I don't consider her nothing--a worthless educator, I really don't. Her need to be involved in every student's life just doesn't appeal to me that much. Otherwise she's perfectly okay.

I leave the room and enter the hall.

…Enter the hall? I always thought such a terminology was interesting, exiting someplace yet entering another. If a person kicks you out of their room, they are kicking you into what's not their room. If a store locks its doors to you, they are opening the door to an opportunity to find another store. I guess this is the optimistic point of view. I have a talent for finding everything's good vantages.

I have assumed this is why I can love Seto Kaiba. I realize something admirable in him. I haven't pegged it down and given it a name, but I know there are collections of qualities I haven't seen yet but I recognize somewhere in Kaiba. There is something I can connect to easily and cry for hours over if it's taken away.

"Bakura?"

I jump at this in the silent, empty hall. I turn to see Yuugi, of all people, waiting. I can't believe he's still here. I think I'm on a carrousel of sorts right now and I keep seeing the most unusual faces flashing by. I didn't think Yuugi would try to catch me in my spinning insanity. I must look hilarious to him, clinging tightly to the bench I'm sitting on, not being brave enough to get on one of the horses.

"Yes, Yuugi?"

"I want to talk to you."

"Sure."

Yuugi walks over and is silent for a few seconds. Finally he starts.

"Have you spoken with Seto recently?"

I halt and look around the hall. Some teachers' doors are opened. I don't answer, but keep walking till we reach the stairs. Here, I'm sure no one can hear us.

"Yes, I have been talking with Kaiba," I finally tell him.

"Are you two going out now?"

"What?" I ask in shock. How is Yuugi supposed to know that or not?

"Otogi spoke with Seto, told him to stop being a baka or something. Seto agreed to apologize for all this mess he's made," Yuugi informs me. I have relatively no idea what he's talking about.

"Huh? I don't understand, Yuugi."

"Oh, did Seto not tell you?" Yuugi asks in horror, "I didn't think he was lying."

I quickly clear Kaiba's name.

"No, Kaiba told me he wanted me, loved me, it that's what you mean."

Yuugi sighs in relief at this, "So you two are together now, then."

"No."

It takes Yuugi a few seconds to realize what I just said. He now looks thoroughly confused.

"I turned him down, Yuugi."

"Why? How?" Yuugi is gaping at me like a fish. I faintly recall all the times I've summoned up the same expression of awe.

"I'm not letting Kaiba do such a thing till he knows a bit more about me. You never know. Certain things he doesn't yet realize might be a severe turn off for him," I hint. Basically, Kaiba doesn't know all the crazy he's getting himself into.

"Oh," Yuugi nods knowingly, "I see."

We stand in silence for a few lapses longer. It comes to the mind that the conversation is over. I turn to leave and go home.

"Bakura."

I stop and wait. "Yeah?"

"You aren't still…you know…the letters?"

I sigh and shake my head, "No, not for a while, Yuugi."

Yuugi smiles slightly in this; happy I'm not so far pathetic anymore.

"That's good. I was worried there."

I frown mildly, "There is nothing to worry about, Yuugi. I was just bored."

Yuugi nods again at this as well.

"I'm really sorry, Bakura. None of us where really paying much attention to anyone those days, just dueling. Sorry, we seemed to ignore you back then."

I shake my head at this. I walk back to where Yuugi is standing and bend till I can see him eye to eye. He looks very sorry, very sad. I summon a slight smile to my face and pet one of his charming long bangs.

"It's okay, Yuugi," I promise him. I place a hand on his short shoulder and try to comfort him of the apparent turmoil, "I never thought angrily about you, ever. Understand? You've always tried to help me, and I appreciate it. You're a good friend. I don't hold any of that myself against you; nor Jounouchi, Honda, Anzu, and anyone else. Don't upset yourself with it anymore." **(A)**

Yuugi nods slowly at this and grins. I straighten up and pat him on the head. I don't know why. Maybe it's because he's so short or something?

"Well then, Bakura, we're not going to do that again," he announces, grabbing my arm and dragging me out of the school, "We're all at the arcade this afternoon and you're going to join us."

I nod. This is actually why I don't want to go to school: I can't refuse Yuugi-tachi and their invites. I can't even try to. I think I should just be glad that this meeting wasn't so bad and I was able to absolve everything so quickly. All that's left now it confronting Kaiba about his newfound love for myself.

This was too easy and now I get to go to the arcade. Um...yay.

The arcade. I am usually terrible at video games. Nowadays there is only one I will play. It's some pathetic token hunting thing where you have to avoid different obstacles. I have never won this due to the location of the last token: a carrousel. I hate that carrousel.

Right when the avatar grabs the final coin, the carrousel starts up spinning faster and faster till you shoot out and land in a bed of thorns, which cause the character to die and lose the round. This is the last level and I can never pass it.

"Awe, the merry-go-round threw you off AGAIN!" Jounouchi groans as the game over letters flash across the screen.

"Ain't that the shit?" Honda remarks from the pool table. **(B)**

"Watch your mouth!" Yuugi scowls at him while I reach in my pockets for money to pay for another round.

Honda smirks and turn back to his pool game. He knocks about four or five other colored balls into different pockets of the set up, causing his opponets to grumble. Honda was always the Pool Master of the group, especially when playing against Jounouchi, whose skill considerably lessened since dueling came to his attention. For a few minutes I forget my game as I watch Honda try to make his victory shot. Jounounchi is taunting him and trying cause a distraction. This doesn't work. Hiroto is completely focused as he makes the shot.

"Hi, Honda-kun!"

Or was focused. He misses by an inch at the sound of Jounouchi Shizuka greeting him after her brother.

"He-hello, Shizuka…uh, Shizuka-chan," he blushes, turning around.

I watch Honda as he melts in the younger Jounounchi's presence. Katsuya smirks at his friend while his sister waves good-naturally, not aware of the embarrassment she's just caused. Honda moves to stand with her and Jounouchi. **(C)**

Yuugi rolls his eyes at this and turns to Anzu again. At closer inspection I see it's actually Yami no Yuugi. Go figure. He is telling Anzu something right now and she is smiling. No matter how interesting the conversation looks, I feel no desire to join in. I turn back to my game now while Jounounchi calls Mai on Anzu's cell. I place my quarter in the slot a little roughly and play the video game with a new violence. I'm trying to pretend everyone's happiness isn't bothering me, but even I know this isn't true. Am I the only single one left?

Wait, there's Yuugi, but I think he has a thing for Anzu too.

Damn, I _am_ the only one. This is terrible. I growl at the video game and smack it lightly as I die again in the last level. Mai just entered and is chatting with all the others. I concentrate on the game and forget everything they all say before it even registers in my thought.

I have to win this game now, that's all that matters. That is all I need to worry about.

My little avatar approaches the dreaded carrousel again. I can see myself in its view, heading with a pleasant smile towards the end. There is one token on this ride; I will try to retrieve and die again. I lead the little figure towards the fatal stage of this level. Grinning, he hops onto the advanced merry-go-round of sorts and walks past all the little ponies and benches. I can imagine myself doing the same thing. Everyone else I can see in my mind on his or her own petite steed, content while I am nowhere. I can't even take up room on a bench.

The carrousel begins to move and my little character cannot get off. With one last look at his smiling face, I watch the ride begin to spin, waiting for the final moments. The little figure is suddenly shot out of the twirling blur and propelled to the thorns that will kill him.

To my awe and shock, he lands OVER the field of death. I blink a few seconds before observing the winning tunnel I must enter to finish. Slowly, mechanically, I lead the avatar (still smiling blissfully) to the last exit. I did not expect it to end that way. My character survived not being tied down to the reality of the carrousel. I find this hard to believe. I wonder if this is a message to me as well? Is this all supposed to have some divine meaning that everything is going to be okay?

I doubt it.

As a new surprise, I have made the high scores list. I take over third place. I can't believe I receive a placing anyway. This is so weird. I might have to find a new game now.

"Congratulations, Bakura."

"EEE!" I yelp at this unexpected voice in my ear, jumping forward into the game screen slightly. I turn around to look up into two familiar, intensely blue eyes. It's like he knew I was drowning in aloneness and appeared out of nowhere. I almost doubt he's real and I'm not hallucinating.

"Kaiba…" I breathe nervously. He is so close right now; I'm almost touching him. If his right arm on the video game were a bit further left, he'd be technically embracing me. I can't help but wonder if he'd still permit it to do such a thing.

"Hey, quit harassing Bakura, you jerk!" I hear Jounouchi threaten. I can feel a red blush creeping over my face at this.

"I'm not doing anything to Bakura," Kaiba growls and smirks at the same time (an amazing talent of his I have yet to understand the mechanics behind).

"Oh sure, we don't see you feeling up on him like a friggin' doll," Jounouchi accuses.

"Jounouchi!" I squeak weakly, still not over the shock of Kaiba showing up right behind me. My face must resemble Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer's nose sans the unearthly glow.

Yami no Yuugi comes to my rescue, obviously for his other side.

"Jounouchi, Kaiba is not doing anything unacceptable to Bakura. They are talking, can you not allow that much?"

Jounouchi glares at Kaiba. He turns to me, but I become fascinated with the floor suddenly. He growls for a few seconds before turning and going back to Mai. He starts to obviously complain to her about everything. Kaiba rolls his eyes at the blond boy slightly before finally resting his hovering arm over my shoulders. I do not wince at all. Kaiba's arm is strange, casual, and a comfort that is signature Otogi to me. It feels awkward from Kaiba, but I don't anything

"Bakura, I think we have some things to discuss."

The arm on my shoulders takes on a more Kaiba feel as it wraps a bit more possessively. I soon as he touched me, I was doomed to leave with him now. In the future, I need to remember that no touch by Seto Kaiba is meant to be friendly or familiar. He always wants something.

I nod along with him slowly and wave a nervous goodbye to my friends. I allow him to lead me out the door and into the rest of Domino. We walk in the general direction of my apartment, but aren't really headed for it. Kaiba finally stops a block away from the complex and I can see it over the nearby buildings. Kaiba Corporation headquarters is also in the distance if I look past a few closer businesses in the way.

In my mind, I know Kaiba is still next to me, his arm is still around my shoulders, but I'm trying to pretend I'm just roaming, by myself. He's smart I now realize. I'm close enough to my apartment to feel safe, but too far to really try to run away,

"Bakura, you still haven't told me the reason you don't want me."

I close my eyes at this and shake my head. I don't want him to see, so if I pull down my own thin lids will he be blind? Somehow I don't really think so.

"Because, I assure you, Bakura, I want you."

I shake my head again slowly (if I keep this up I'm going to become nauseous) and open my eyes.

"No, you don't."

Set-Kaiba sighs at my half-hearted correction and frowns slightly. He doesn't get it; I have not presented him with all the reasons yet. I'm not sure I want to, but I cannot stand feeling guilty. I can't have him do such a thing to himself. But I don't want him to just need to help me and not love me anymore like Otogi. Otogi did the same thing. We fell apart after I started telling him things about myself and stuff about my other self. We became friends, close friends. I'm scared Seto Kaiba will do the same thing.

"Can't you tell me why, Bakura?"

I bite my lower lip in hesitation and plain out nerves. Wasn't I planning to let him know? Don't I want him to decide what to do? I can't change his mind, and he might be disappointed if he finds out on his own. But then, doesn't he already know in a way I'm a bit outside on the focus of reality? Didn't he find that out while I was "baby-sitting" Mokuba?

"I'll have to show you," I finally answer, "Everything's in my apartment."

Kaiba raises an eyebrow slightly at this. Maybe he thinks I collect something… strange. I guess I do. I mean, who in their right minds keep papers from their past in piles in the apartment? My collection has actually moved five times from floor to floor. It used to be in my bedroom when I first moved in, but it migrated somehow to the living room. I suppose the urge to not throw away such things is already curious enough without looking at the lobster in the bath. Kaiba should be scared I'm that different.

"Then show me, I want to see," Kaiba agrees, walking again towards my apartment.

I don't think he really believes what he just said. He should be second-guessing himself by now.

* * *

My apartment really _is _a mess. There can be no other reason Kaiba has nearly tripped over the paper mountains three times.

"Sorry!" I apologize as he grabs the lamp to steady a recent descent.

"Don't worry, it's not your fault Bakura, just this grocery list--from…three…years…ago."

I blush and look down, "You can throw that away if you want."

"Sure you aren't going to need it for anything?" he mocks me. I turn redder and shake my head as Kaiba wads the paper up and tosses it onto the trashcan almost ten feet away across the room. He makes it perfectly.

I'm stalling here in what I'm showing Kaiba. So far he knows such boring things as my birthplace and parents names. I keep hiding everything else, information about my sister or my mother, or newspapers clippings about certain students ending up in the local hospital. I made sure my M&W cards were nowhere near the room when we entered. I'm making sure he sees nothing that will turn him away even though that's what I invited him over to for.

"Bakura, none of this is making me feel anything against you. Maybe you're just paranoid?"

"No, you haven't seen it yet, Kaiba," I tell him.

"Do you even want me to?" he asks, only slightly concerned. He thinks this is silly. "It can't be that bad. You haven't killed anyone, have you?"

I frown at this. What if I have? He has no idea what he just said. I snap, I can't take this, but I cannot show him anything.

_(This looks amusing.)_

I glare slightly at this voice. I hate that. Why is he bothering anyway? I'm too busy being distracted I do not realize what I'm saying to Kaiba till it's too late to take even the smallest portion back.

"Kaiba, I'm just a terrible person. You don't know; you weren't there. I've hurt so many people you can't begin to realize. I can't be loved because I'm so unlucky. Don't do this. You're business will fail and everything will turn out badly."

Kaiba looks surprised. He blinks once, decides he doesn't except my words, and recovers.

"You're not serious, Bakura."

I glare at him slightly and stand up. I realize now I am serious (even if I didn't mean to say that), he just can't see. He's blind. I don't want to injure him in any way whatsoever but apparently I've already pecked his eyes out. This is pathetic, trying to think so many wonderful things about Kaiba when I really shouldn't be here with him at all. I know some way I will make him suffer. My other self might do something as is usually the case. Kaiba may feel sorry for me, which could hurt the both of us. He doesn't know.

I'm on a carrousel and in a few more spins I'm going to fly off. I'm _not _going to miss the thorns; I'm going to land right on top of them. Accepting me, caring for me is allowing the same fate to him, only, he doesn't realize. I haven't told him. I _can't_ tell him. All I can do is cry and get angry and chase Kaiba away as soon as possible.

"Yes I am, Kaiba. I am completely serious. Don't think I'm not because I am. I've never been more serious."

I'm overusing the keyword "serious" here because my thinking is a bit impaired. Kaiba actually smirks, _laughs_ at this. He stands and faces me.

"You sound scared."

Scared? I'm not scared. I'm concerned. I'm trying to keep everyone else safe, not myself. If I do not protect others they will get mad at me. I don't like people to not be happy, especially if I'm the cause. When people are angry nothing very good happens for a long time, so I try to avoid it. I'm doing so now.

Can't Kaiba see? I don't want any injury; I just want to dream. I can live with dreams.

"Bakura, there's nothing to be afraid of. I'm not going to hurt you."

Kaiba closes the gap between us considerably and I'm suddenly nervous. I never have been before around him, but now…part of me is tearing away and trying to give itself to Kaiba. I'm terrified how much of my heart will joined it.

"Are you sure?" I finally ask quietly, slipping from my defense mode a bit too much. I can feel my other self become irritated.

"It's okay. You think I'm totally blameless? I want you. I love you."

I know this is a very sweet thing to say and almost a show on some romantic side to Kaiba I have never seen, but still. The annoyingly cynical voice in my mind is screaming at me, telling me it's a lie, a lame, cliché lie.

I don't know what to believe. Seems the only thing I can really trust is the idea that I might just be scared. In fact, maybe I'm terrified. Should I just lock myself in my room and not come out so I can't find out if there is a reason for this? I don't want to be wary, ignore it, and have all the tension justified later on so I can suffer.

Kaiba really shouldn't have said anything.

"Bakura, what are you afraid of?"

That's a no brainer. Everything, why?

"I just…" my mouth replies for me since I cannot choose anything to say. Kaiba finds some way to step even nearer at this hesitation. We are just barely touching now and if my breathing keeps speeding up, my clothes will brush his. It's exciting but in makes me tense at the same time. I have no idea what to do now. I think Kaiba plans on solving this for me.

Yes, he does. Kaiba leaps forward and kisses me again, bringing up memories of before and how I really haven't changed from then. I want to melt into him and relax, but I'm terrified right now. Kaiba really should time himself better. He never picks very opportune moments to just "attack" like this.

On some contemplative instinct, I pull my foot back and kick him right in the shin. He breaks from violent little me quickly with a grunt, grabbing his leg and winching.

"Kaiba," I scowl, pushing him away and backing up, "Don't."

Kaiba watches me with a confused expression. He also looks a bit angry as well. This is just _great_.

"Bakura?" he asks in frustration while I keep backing up.

"No, Kaiba, no," I command softly. If it makes you feel better, I don't know what the hell I'm doing either. I just see I can't do this for some reason or another. It's impossible.

"I can't trust you, Kaiba," I inform him. "Not after Yuugi. Not after the fact you're Seto Kaiba. I give up."

And so I've picked the coward's way out. Blame Yuugi; blame Kaiba's reputation.

Kaiba _is _anfry now. I can see it in his face. I know he is disappointed. How many people turn down _Seto Kaiba_? I don't want to, but something in charge right now says I have to. I can't fight it off. I have to stop everything that could make me happy because I might just get hurt. This is how paranoid I have become of trusting other people. My father is the reason; my sister is the reason; my mother is the reason. All these things I believed that left me alone.

Otogi tried to fix it, but nothing can help. I can't be changed. I just wanted Kaiba to know it isn't his fault, that there's nothing wrong with him. Everything that's wrong is in me; I'm insane. I think I just want to dream from now on.

"But Bakura, can't you see I will not hurt you?" Kaiba asks like he's trying to teach me something I don't know. I see it a lot these days; no one wants to hurt Bakura, Bakura hurts himself. Well if that's the way it is then I shouldn't change it.

"I know you don't want to, but you already have. Just stop now," I answer. Indeed, this is painful. I need it to go away, to leave me alone and go bother another person.

"How can you say that? I would never do such a thing!" Kaiba proclaims.

"It's not your fault, it's mine," I console, trying not to offend him, "I can't do things like this anymore."

"Can't you try?"

This question catches me off guard. I don't have any reasonable answer.

"I don't know if I can, Kaiba," I finally reply, quiet now. Kaiba is still watching me, not sure about how he's going to handle the rejection, I'm sure.

"Maybe I should leave and let you find that out," Kaiba suggests, obvious frustration in his tone.

"Yes, maybe," I mutter. Kaiba sighs loudly at this and hurries out. I hear him but I cannot look up. I can only listen as he exits the apartment, angry with me. I don't like people to be upset, but I always find a way to make them so. I guess it's some freak talent I've acquired. I swear I never asked for it.

"Bakura, are you okay?"

I turn in shock to the hallway. I can't believe it. I look at the unknown occupant of this apartment who probably heard everything that just happened.

"Otogi? _You're_ here?"

I am surprised.

"I figured it would look kind of awkward if I tried to leave while you and Kaiba were over. I was in the game room."

I nod slowly at this. I'm quite thankful he considered this before making a scene. I wonder how he knows these things?

"Better you than Yuugi, I suppose," I sigh, walking over to the couch and collapsing into the cushions. Otogi comes forward and leans on the furniture's frame behind me. He waits a few seconds before speaking.

"Why did you do that to Kaiba, Baka Bakura?" he asks me. I'm not angry at the insult, he knows just as well as I do that what I just did was stupid. Otogi doesn't usually hide what he thinks about things and that is often annoying. This is a reason many people discover they can't stand him. I sometimes can't either, and I'm used to it.

"I was scared," I answer, closing my eyes and leaning back, "I really don't know what I'm doing."

"Oh, isn't that obvious," Otogi agrees. I frown slightly and open my eyes, looking up at him crossly. It's hard to, though, since being behind me, Otogi's face is upside-down and rather humorous.

"That's so you," he mutters.

"What?" I ask, confused. What's _so me_?

"Here is everyone, trying to help you, and you throw it all away in less than five hours."

"I don't understand, Otogi."

Otogi frowns slightly, "You know, Yuugi's been dropping hints to Kaiba since they broke up leaning towards you, I flat out argued with him, and Yami went through, almost defining everything going on."

"What?"

Otogi shakes his head. "You do the craziest things to yourself."

I glare at him, suddenly angry, "So, I was right then, Kaiba doesn't love me, he thinks he does because you and Yuugi will not stop telling him that like a pair of motivational tapes on replay?"

Otogi blinks slightly, "No."

"Yes, I think so," I pout, suddenly regretting my decision to turn down Kaiba less and less.

"Oh, and we all trust exactly what you think! Yes…"

I frown, "Otogi, why are you mocking me?"

"Because no else is going to. You really shouldn't have done that to poor Kaiba, he's only in love with you. Is that a crime?" Otogi asks, suffering one of his more serious moments.

I sigh at this and sit up again, shaking my head. I have no idea what it is I'm locking up everything for. My mind has stopped trying to reason with my heart, which is just trying to find out why the hell I made Kaiba go away.

"What am I suppose to do? You have seriously ruined things more than I could," I snap, not expecting an answer.

"You need to think, Bakura. You need to make a decision of some sort and side with one of those insane voices in your head."

"Who told you there where voices?" I ask in surprise, but I'm kidding.

"You did, a long time ago," Otogi sats.

I nod at this. Otogi knows too much. Either he reads my mind very well or he's got some astounding intuition. He seems to know what I'm thinking very well.

"Well, I don't want Kaiba if he's been forced to believe all this," I decide.

"No, Ryou, we wouldn't have done it if we didn't think there was already something between you two," he informs me softly. I'm not really any happier.

"Don't you see, there was nothing, Ryuuji. It was a _crush_, okay?"

"Yeah right, you were too shy to say anything, he was too proud. We wanted to help."

I shake my head. I am of the conviction that if it was meant to be, it would have happened on it own accord. You just don't play matchmaker and mess with these things unless given permission. I think I know a reason why this has happened.

"I know it's because I'm gay, right?" I ask in annoyance.

"Ryou, that has noth—"

"Yes, it does. You all think I'll never fall in love because of it, I know that. You want to help me find the most eligible, most successful, and simply the best man of the same disposition out there because you think I can't find anyone by myself."

"Ryou…"

I don't look at him; no, I scowl at the wall. They can't do this to me; it's cruel and unusual punishment. What were they thinking?

"Want me to go now?" Otogi asks, looking at the door.

I shrug at this. The idea of him staying or going is nothing. I'm just trying to see what's wrong with me right now and if there is anyway I could get Kaiba out of my mind as he does not deserve the insult of being in there.

"Then I'll be in the game room."

I nod quietly. Otogi leaves and I just stay in my seat. The couch is very nice right now, very soft. I'd talk to it if I could see the smallest inkling of humanity from the cushions and armrests. Furniture is very nice. I dislike houses without it. I like sitting in chairs.

Why the hell am I thinking about this? Why am I trying to avoid worrying over Kaiba and what I should do? I have to fix this mess everyone's made now. This is insane; I'm insane. I don't know what I'm doing.

* * *

"I believe people call that a checkmate, Bakura. You win."

I watch the chessboard lazily. I don't know how I won, but Otogi is telling me I just did.

"Maybe you should be in chess club?" he suggest mockingly. I shake my head.

"Maybe you just suck."

"Watch your language, Mahout!" He scowls slightly, throwing a pawn at my head.

"Sorry," I apologize. I didn't mean it anyway. I'm just saying loads of anything right now.

"Who taught you to play chess? Last time you tried to play I beat you in six moves. Now you even have the grid down and I don't even bother with it. How long have you been hanging around with the chess club anyway?"

I frown at this and shake my head. I have not sat through chess club for a long time. Recently they have been chasing me away to the empty halls. Even the intelligent freaks reject me. I guess they are smart.

"Kaiba," I answer, knocking over my bishop and spinning it around. It looks so stupid rolling in a drunken circle. Maybe that's why I just can't stop messing with it. I can relate. I stagger around in circles all through my life. I don't drink, but there's something wrong with me.

"Bakura, what you haven't realized yet about you and Seto is that life… life is a _game_…." Otogi starts to lecture. I frown at him, as he is not being serious at all.

"Take chess, for example," he adds, motioning to the board, "There are so many various strategies. Some are to win and others to lose. But a lifetime, unlike this simple complex game, doesn't just end with one mistake and, your opponent doesn't ever lose because you have no partner in the game but yourself."

"You're crazy, that doesn't mean anything," I grumble at his mockery, "You're not making sense."

"Exactly. Don't liken emotions to objects because an object can be destroyed or lost, and that doesn't say much comparing them. You don't always have to give things bizarre names or relations, you know."

"I never knew you could be so deep, Otogi." I retaliate. How does he always say these things? I feel like I'm at a terrible disadvantage.

"As opposed to me being shallow?" he asks in false insult.

"Well, yes," I say as though it is my humble opinion that everyone thinks this.

"I didn't think superficial people bothered you, Bakura. I mean, you were crushing on Seto Kaiba."

I pick up my rook and toss it at Otogi. He smirks as it flies by his head and hits the ground. I hear it roll into the wall with a dissident clatter at being thrown. Well, I hope now it's happy instead, it's one of the few things of mine that has escaped, though temporarily.

"Nice," Otogi mutters, "Kaiba must like his boyfriends' quietness and immaturity. You fit the bill."

I stop spinning my bishop at this.

"Kaiba doesn't like me and I'm not immature." I pout, resisting the urge to start spinning the bishop again.

"You'd like to think that, wouldn't you, Mahout?"

"I am not an elephant driver, Otogi," I complain. Maybe I do sound a bit silly?

_(You need to grown up, yadonushi.)_

"Shut up," I mutter at the voice.

"I didn't say anything, Bakura. I think you're hallucinating," Otogi corrects. I didn't know he could hear that.

"Not you, Otogi. My other mind just told me to grow up," I tell him. Otogi actually smirks.

"Then it's two against one: _Grow up_."

I flick the stagnant bishop at him and watch it miss by five inches to the left.

"And get some glasses, you need them," he adds, watching the chess piece clattering into the wall with it's brother.

"No I don't."

"You're right," he agrees, studying my face, "I wouldn't think they'd let your face show. Kaiba's got to love your blue eyes and glasses would not help." **(D)**

I find myself blushing at this mentioning of Kaiba and try to convince myself for a few seconds Kaiba isn't totally disillusioned. I don't realize it's futile till Otogi lands a pawn right between my eyes.

"Hey," I yelp, instinctively tensing and jumping back. Otogi smirks and keeps talking.

"I'm not kidding, well, not that much; Kaiba seemed quite fallen for you, Mahout. Why did you drive him away?"

"Kaiba is not an elephant, Otogi, I did not 'drive' him anywhere, unlike you."

Otogi laughs at this. I mean, really _laughs_. His eyes are watering and he breathing isn't exactly at a regulated living rate. Well, at least someone finds this funny.

"I actually didn't mean it that way, Ryou," he finally informs me, "But it's hilarious coming from you."

"Will you stop, I don't want to think about Kaiba right now!" I snap. Almost instantly Otogi is silent and I am in slight awe.

"Sorry," he apologizes, "But if it helps, I think I know what is running through Kaiba's mind right now."

"How would you know? Oh yeah, you brainwashed him…. You an Yuugi, the think tank."

"Do you want to know what I said to him?"

Despite efforts to remain uninterested, I am curious. I wonder why Otogi was even speaking to Kaiab? People have told me they spoke to each other, but I would have never thought of Otogi to actually bring it up. I always thought he considered Kaiba an inconsiderate egotist. Not too unlike himself actually….

"When, exactly?" I ask nervously since I don't really know the day.

"The day he missed class."

Now I remember. Kaiba mentioned this outside my apartment. He said Otogi has let him realize something. That actually was kind of lame. He could have started with the cliché, "Ryou, I've been thinking…" or, "You are so beautiful," but no. He had to bring Otogi up in it for some reason.

"Why?"

"I felt like I ought to bring a few things to light for him. It was a very interesting conversation." Otogi notes, purposely leaving out the details, waiting for me to ask.

"What did you say? What did he do? What did he tell you?" I ask quietly, annoyingly. I want to make this as upleasant as possible.

"It was almost funny, to tell you the truth. I have never seen Kaiba unsure of himself. Well, at least not so much. I had an advantage of knowing what to look for."

"Huh?" I ask, startled by this announcement.

"Bakura, do you know how worked up Kaiba has made himself over you? I really thought he had gone crazy. You know, because everyone says Kaiba is crazy," Otogi informs me. For some reason I cannot take in what he just said. He meant how worked up they_ made_ him over me, right?

He can't have thought Kaiba looked crazy, I _am_ crazy and I don't bear any resemblance to Kaiba.

"I don't understand…" I say slightly, more to myself than Otogi across from me. I'm starting to question whether chasing Kaiba away was what I really should have done. Maybe I should have dragged him over to the game room and found Otogi? Then we could've have figure it all out.

"He somehow was of the mind you hated him, Ryou. It was the strangest thing." Otogi shakes his head, "I, of course, had come to yell at him for the opposite."

"Did you?" I gasp in mock shock (hey…that…rhymes horribly). That's all I can grasp, Otogi tried to anger Kaiba in my name. Oh no.

"Is there a reason I shouldn't have?" Otogi asks, though he isn't being serious, "Obviously we raised voices a little and called each other terrible names. He was the first to start issuing the profanities, though. You know me. I'm totally innocent."

Yeah, right.

"Why was he mad? What did you want him to do?" I ask, not entirely sure I want to hear the answer yet not wanting to avoid this opportunity.

"I wanted him to stop being an idiot. I felt sorry for you, Bakura, you were so taken with Kaiba but you didn't do much to let him know. I told him about you and that he had to do something before you began to freak out. You always do that, you know, separate yourself from whatever you can't reach. It was kind of funny. Kaiba was trying to not like you. He finally had me removed from the building, but I think my message got through. I didn't think you'd yell at him though."

"Which is why you shouldn't mess with my personal life." I find myself snapping.

"Ryou, sorry, but you don't have a personal life. You have a personal _world_ and I obviously cannot understand or predict anything you do," Otogi tells me. I blink in surprise at this. I guess I've spent all this time telling myself Otogi could see right through me, but he can't. I don't know what to do now. No one knows me then. Kaiba's tried, Otogi's tried, but I can't let them.

"I think now because of what you said, Mahout, he is unsure yet again. I don't think Kaiba hates you, though. He is just concerned with what you said and with what _he_ did wrong because he's Kaiba Seto and the world revolves around him. Don't do anything to yourself because of this. Otherwise, you're both egoists."

"I wasn't planning to," I answer. I really wasn't, not physically that is. My mind has become so incoherent I don't know what it's going to decide. I'm not planning any affronting of the issue to Kaiba. He'll have to come up on his own for that.

"Don't ever plan to," Otogi warns. I'm sadly not really listening. There's a reason though. I keep seeing the same aggrieving picture in my mind's eye. I want it t go away.

There is goes…again. I see the smiling avatar in my head. It's waving to me and walking up to a carrousel. I've tried to stop it, but I can't. The character is spun about and thrown into the air. It lands right on top of the thorns; only, it's not the smiling adventurer. It is I, and I'm losing. I can see my body cut and bleeding. It's terrible. I want to scream and run. I want to tell someone what I'm seeing, but I can't.

It isn't painful or anything. Just disturbing and making me question my stability and sanity more than usual.

Is this a warning or just random insanity? I think my friends are the carrousel, sending me off into hell. I hear about people who feel like their hearts have been skillfully ripped from their chests in circumstances where love leaves angrily. I don't have any such ache. I'm just disoriented.

I have to clear everything up somehow.

"Otogi, am I suppose to feel bad about this not filling with your plan?" I ask nervously. I don't get it. I need an answer.

"Do you?" the ignorant Otogi asks.

I think for a few seconds; sense myself for a few seconds. No, my heart is still there and nothing hurts but my brain, which always seems to throb somehow.

I shake my head at Otogi's question, "No. Is there something wrong with that?"

Otogi observes me in awe for a few seconds, his eyebrows bunched in contemplation.

"No," he mutters, "There's nothing wrong."

I feel like crying, but I'm forgetting why. All I can think of is that devious little avatar landing over the thorns now. He lands over them while I am entangled and pleading for help. He smiles and wobbles over to the finish tunnel, blowing me a kiss. I'm going to bleed to death. No one can help me now.

"Bakura, I think you need to sleep. It's late and we have school tomorrow."

I look at the clock in the corner of the room. It is the VCR. Don't you try to think I set it. Otogi did, not me. If he did it correctly, then it's well into eleven.

"Sure," I breathe quietly, still watching the red digits on the face of the VCR intently. Who cares what Otogi says anyway?

"Ryou, wake up. You aren't in bed yet!" Otogi orders, waving a hand in my face.

"Sorry," I apologize, looking away. I half float down to the bedroom while Otogi asks where the linen closet is. I don't know if I answer. He's saying something about sleeping on the couch and his apartment being too far away. I loosely string all of this together to understand he isn't leaving.

"I want to cry, but I can't. Why?" I ask as Otogi walks past the doorway.

"You're just tired and a upset, Mahout. You'll feel better in the morning," he tell me lightly, closing the door and leaving.

I nod, even though it is too late for him to see it.

I fall asleep so quickly. I wonder if my head has even hit the pillows before my mind stops.

I think I know where I am, but that doesn't mean I want to stay. I recognize this cheaply animated world and I want to leave now. I see ahead of me an avatar. It smiles and waves. I am furious. I run after the avatar, but I can't reach. Finally, I can see it ahead, no longer walking. I rush up to grab him before I realize what I just did.

I just stepped onto a large carrousel.

I turn around and try to make a break for it, but it's too late. The ground begins to spin and I want to scream. I can't grab anything to anchor myself.

I sit down on the floor and hide my face in my arms, curling into a ball. I feel the turn of the terrible ride speed up. I still can't scream. This is hell.

Finally some outside force of nature whips me out of the spinning contraption. I'm airborne and ready to panic. I know what is coming next. I don't want to see it though. Unfortunately, everything here is the opposite of what I want.

Against my will I open my eyes and look down. I can see the thorns and the soft ground by the winning tunnel. I'm going to land in one or the other. I find I don't really know where I want to go. The winning area seems better, but I don't think I deserve it.

As I start rushing down to Earth, I find my voice and scream bloody murder in one shrill note. I'm about to realize the outcome of the landing as everything goes black.

"Ryou, are you okay?" Otogi asks sincerely. He is stroking my hair like usual. I don't think he knows how to do anything else.

"No," I pout. Isn't that obvious by now? I'm terrified.

"Why did you scream? Did you have a bad dream?"

I'd glare if I weren't so terrified. It's as though I'm a tiny child who is suffering from a nightmare. I guess I am, but Otogi doesn't have to rub it in so much.

"Yes, but I'll be okay," I console him. He looks unsure, "I'm serious. It's just a dream."

Otogi nods slowly and exits, closing the door again.

I sit in the dark. The time is glowing in the corner. I turn to the clock. In an hour I have to be up and ready to walk to school.

I think I can stay up that much longer.

* * *

**Notes and Stuff:**

A: Flashbacks of Charlie Brown there. "You're a good friend, Charlie Brown—Yuugi Motou!"  
B: Honda says shit a lot. I noticed this.  
C: Yeah, hopefully you don't get too confused which Jounouchi I'm referring to.  
D: I chose blue for Ryou's eyes. They change way too often for my comfort.

Okay, for those of you freaked out by Ryou's thoughts:

Ha! Isn't it awesome?

Now….

Please review or else!

…I can't do anything. Never mind.

Randomness—Raw sea urchin is sick. I'm scared for life now. people.


	12. Denial

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yugioh.

The pairings introduced right now:  
Anzu/Yami no Yuugi  
Jounouchi/Mai

The crushes introduced right now:  
Ryou/Seto

Thanks to R Amythest for beta reading. I've been "bombarding" her with stuff. Good thing Sarina Fannel hasn't been typing too much.

* * *

**Chapter de Twelfth: Denial**

I've been avoiding Kaiba for…one week today. So what? I've been keeping track. I do this all the time. There is nothing different.

__

Your views, your face,  
They always change.  
You found me here.  
I'm always the same.

**(A)**

Okay, I'm not exactly _stuck_, but it tends to seem like that. I must be unable to reconfigure myself too much. I wish I could, but it's hard. I'm paranoid for some reason I'll end up by myself, the only one standing with me.

Of course, maybe I'm lying about that. Yuugi-tachi is becoming a lot less irritating. I currently find them all very interesting. They are friends now, really friends. It's different than I thought before. I know Yuugi is just dragging me around out of sympathy, but I have nothing against it anymore. I'm getting over the fact they have paired themselves up with others. It's almost comfortable around them. I don't have to worry about random stuff till I get home.

When I get home I don't know what I'm thinking. I usually forget now. All I can tell you is it's been a week today. Tomorrow it will be a week and a day. Then a week and two days. Then two weeks. Then before I know it, a year. And I will not remember anything else.

I should move. No, not from Domino. From my desk. Class ended fifteen minutes ago.

I don't want to. I don't want to do anything.

I have no idea why.

This is horrible. I don't even want to be here. If I hate this so much, why can't I go away? Why can't I stand and walk out?

"Bakura, are you feeling okay?"

I turn around and nod, smiling slightly, "Fine."

"Then why are you still here?"

My semblance of easiness flickers, "Jounouchi…."

Jounouchi puts his mop into his bucket and walks in. I don't remember inviting him over to my solitude, but he has the amazing tendency to hear a request somewhere even if I don't. It's odd.

"Bakura, I don't know if anyone has bothered to tell you, but the way you're acting these days isn't right."

I blink at this, but I don't say anything. How am I messing up in my behavior? Is my willingness to follow around with Yuugi-tachi really that bizarre?

"Kaiba and you, it's messing with your head."

No it's not, Jounouchi; you, my friend, are terribly unfocused. I'm more normal now. And I haven't known you to be concerned about something that hurts Seto Kaiba. I think you're insane too. I'm going to commit myself next week into the hospital. Are you asking to come along?

"I didn't know you were so concerned about _Kaiba_, Jounouchi," I muse out loud. He frowns deeply at this and glares.

"It's not Kaiba I'm worried about, it's you."

I'm almost touched by this confession. People are concerned.

That's nice.

"You aren't being yourself, Bakura. You're with the group almost every day but you're ignoring us a lot more than usual. You're freaking everyone out."

Oh, no. Now _everyone's_ involved in this. I guess I'm not fooling anyone. That's what he telling me.

"Kaiba is an idiot and he's messed up. Personally, I think he deserves it."

I smirk. That's classic Jounouchi there for you. Tell your friend he's creapping you out more than usual, but keep your priorities straight.

"But you do not. I can't stand it, none of us can. I wish you'd get over it. If you can't, I don't give a damn if it's Kaiba, confront what the hell is wrong. Fight. I hate what you're doing right now more than that."

I am shocked at this suggestion, but I don't think Jounouchi is crazy anymore. I guess no one told him Kaiba really doesn't love me, he's just been brainwashed.

"Jounouchi," I start. I can't finish it though. I'm trying to keep his words from making sense. Yes, I do still _admire_ Kaiba in a sense, but now it's just so confusing. Everyone is angry with me for turning him down.

"Bakura, I want you to stop."

This order is acknowledged instantly. I know he's right, but I wish he weren't. I'm starting to hate this more and more; the feeling what everyone is saying is correct and I just refuse to accept it. Maybe everyone plotting against me (or, well. _for _me, but they made the tragic mistake of never asking what I thought about it) made a lot more sense than I thought. The reason I just don't get it is because I'm insane.

Maybe I have to apologize to Kaiba? Part of me wants to, but the part in charge will not say a word unless Kaiba comes up to us. Very stubborn are we, yes.

"Bakura, don't cry…" Jounouchi comforts slightly.

"I'm not crying," I inform him before an unexpected tear falls. I'd glare at it if I could. I can't stay here any longer. My eyes have apparently formed minds of their own right now and they think I'm to be bawling about something.

"Sorry, I have to go," I let the blonde know before making a break for it.

I hurry away from Jounounchi as quickly as I can. I know I'm not being at all inconspicuous in my exit, but I don't care. As long as he doesn't try to catch up, I'm okay.

I reach my apartment unhindered. I'm very close to pain right now. My stomach or something around there is threatening to fall out of existence.

__

(You aren't this pathetic, are you?)

I shake my head and successfully chase away the horrible dread; the feeling I have ruined my life forever because maybe for some reason, Yuugi and Otogi had the right idea. I have been thinking of solutions and excuses for a week. So far I haven't come across any horrible ideas. That's a good thing.

Or not. I don't really know.

"Hello, Lobster," I greet entering the kitchen. He swims about slowly. I think the near death experience was a bit frightening for him. That fellow in the sink, my friends, is a changed lobster. I think he has a new appreciation to life, a new view on all the petty happenings around him.

I should get me one of those, a near death experience.

"Are you still mad about that whole almost dying thing a week ago?" I ask him sadly.

Yes, he is. I can see it in how he ignores me.

"I said I was sorry."

The lobster sends up a few bubbles at this sarcastically. I suddenly realize something.

"This treatment isn't about last week, is it?" I ask; a bit peeved.

The crustacean actually waves its tail fin in an unmistakable "yes" answer.

"Is this about Kaiba?"

The animal ignores me again. I sigh in frustration.

"Is it about…_Seto_?"

The yes motion is repeated. I try hard not to scream.

"Argh, you agree with them then, Yuugi and Otogi?"

I am splashed at and now my face is wet. I growl slightly at the lobster in the sink.

What does the lobster know? It's a lobster!

* * *

I really should stop this sitting in. Chess club will be here any minute now. I haven't seen my old friends the chess-nerds in a long time. I wouldn't mind to make this long time longer actually. Still, I find I cannot move. I can hear them coming and I cannot do anything about it.

This is terrible.

"Salutations, o' Silent Observer! Long time no see," some kid with an obvious death wish greets. Luckily for him, I don't kill obnoxious people.

I stick to my namesake and don't say anything. I just watch the group set up their little boards and arrange the pieces. It's kind of strange now when I actually know what they're doing.

I'm waiting for the one snotty annoying one who greeted me to send me away to the halls.

"So your name is _Bakura_?"

I nod, silently. I don't like his arrogant tone. The kid has quite an ego for a smart freak. We've all got to be proud about something, but really.

Still waiting to be chased away here.

"Why are you always here _Bakura_?"

I furrow my brow at this. I always avoid talking to the extreme. The entire club must think I'm either crazy or retarded.

"_Bakura_, want to play some chess? How about we play some chess?"

I hate that boy. He is very rude. Yes, I know his intelligence is _most_ likely a few points (a few as in a few hundred) over my own, but that isn't an excuse to treat me like I've got the brain power of a small bird.

I'm not stupid.

__

(Really? I didn't know that.)

"Awe, can your mind not comprehend such a complexity as this strategic board game? We can teach you."

I don't move. I don't plan too. Some of the students are watching the boy nervously while others are egging him on. The room is divided but none are really supporting me, just terrified of getting into trouble. It's kind of strange to think anyone could be afraid of me.

"One round. Is that all right with you?"

I still don't say anything as he places a board in front of me. I watch it distantly. The boy grins at this.

"I promise to finish you off fast."

Someone hands me some dark brown pieces and I look down at them. The boy almost laughs.

"Do you not know how to set up the game?"

__

Yes, that's precisely it! Now go away or kick me out of this room.

Against the nagging voice in my mind, I place all the wooden characters into their proper positions.

"You've been watching for a long time," he acknowledges.

If I win, I'm going to find some way to punish him with a Shadow Game. Chess is kind of hard to turn life and death though.

"That or you're looking over my shoulder at the other boards, which is more probable."

__

(I'm going to kill that kid.)

For once I think my other mind has the right idea.

"I'll start. You know that, right? White side starts first."

I blink at this is. Why would I not? I'm being played for a fool. Even before I knew a damn thing about chess, I knew white started first. I don't enjoy this boy's mannerism at all. He really needs another hobby than picking on people with lower intellectual performance who also happen to be weaklings.

"Pawn E-2, to E-4. You're turn. I'm right to assume you know the grid?"

__

(That's it, you're going to slaughter this brat in his own pathetic game.)

I don't care. I'm more than willing to take a French leave right now. It seems that the other side of my mind has a decidedly different idea of attack.

"Sorry, didn't hear that, Bakura. You'll have to speak up."

I glare at the annoying person sitting in front of me. I haven't said anything yet.

"I guess you're petrified at the thought of competing against me. It's plausible."

__

(That boy better have made his will.)

I frown at this. Yes, thank you, I get the picture. Please now, be quiet as I'm trying so very hard to concentrate. If I don't play, my other self may just be compelled to jump in for me. This kid should never have made such a challenge without knowing there's a very dangerous other person inside me.

"Pawn H-7 to H-8," I order slowly, moving the piece.

The boy smirks at me like I just made the most horrible move possible in the history of the game. How can he know it's a bad move and be so sure of himself? It's one pawn moving on space forward. How does that clench it for him?

I hope my other self won't overreact when I lose.

* * *

My rook crosses the board safely, taking out a knight.

"Check."

"No!"

I wait for the boy to move a piece to defend. He does and I knock it out of the game.

"Check," I repeat.

The boy moves his king up. I move my queen up as well.

"Check."

The opponent growls at the board before him and glares. He cannot move.

"Checkmate."

The other watches angrily every possible move. There is nothing left to save him. I have amazingly taken very few of his pieces, also. I think it's funny. He's basically trapped himself. People around the club have been muttering things about different movies and whatever that don't make sense. I didn't know chess had such an extensive vocabulary. I just pushed the pieces around. I'm sure I wouldn't have beat him of he had known what to expect. Same for when I beat Ryuuji. If they had known not to let their guard down, then they would have tried harder and won, like Kaiba, who tries not to assume to little of his opponents because it's always proven to be a very bad idea.

"Who taught you that, _Bakura_?" the boy asks, studying the board.

I reply as usual. I shrug like I don't know. There's a part of my mind asking me to please brag about how the opponent's King was surrounded by too many of his own men to move to safety, but I ignore it. The boy rolls his eyes.

"Can't you tell me any of your strategy? You won so quickly."

I shrug again and shake my head. I really don't know what I did. I just decided I had to trap his king and I trapped his king. I did the same thing to Kaiba's queen once on accident and lost. **(B)**

"Please? I know I came off a bit harsh, but the challenge was just in good fun. Really, I'm a friend. You can tell me how you won and I will not tell a soul. I swear," but as he finishes saying this, the rest of the chess club leans forward to hear better.

"Yeah, I guess you'd be too busy using it yourself."

I feel a familiar presence behind me in the doorway and turn around. I want to squeak, dodge under the desk, and hide. I want to jump out the window and fly away. I just want to not be here.

"Seto Kaiba?" the boy asks. All the other chess players look up at Kaiba in awe.

I turn back the board and look at the pieces, quickly rearranging them into their original positions to have something to do. I'd leave the room, but I'd have to brush past Kaiba. I don't know why, but I feel like I should be avoiding him. I mean, he admitted he loved me and that makes everything so tragically awkward no matter what I do, even if he's realized he doesn't. It makes even the most everyday casual action, such as saying hello, strange because one thought keeps zapping my mind: _the guy said he liked you but you know he doesn't_. I find I have trouble with this for some reason.

I remember what Jounouchi said yesterday about doing what I think will help me, doing what will probably make a lot of things easier.

Sorry, Jounouchi, but I just can't. It's impossible for me. I'm just not like that. I don't even care about all of this. I mean it's not like I'm suffering heartbreak over Kaiba and what I did to him a week and a day ago.

Argh, a week and a day! Why am I keeping track?

__

(You're obsessive.)

Forget that right now. I can't do what Jounouchi said. I can't do what anyone wants. I want Kaiba and yet I can't let him know, because when he finally wakes up from his brainwashed state, he'll realise he doesn't feel the same. So, I have to contradict and contradict at every turn till he sees this. The horrific thing is that I don't even want to.

I can't want to. I can't do anything except leave now because Kaiba has just entered and is crossing the room. I think he has something to say to the chess club supervisor or something.

I rise and hurry out.

Halfway down the stairs I feel like laughing. I'm alone here. It's funny that I'm so hopelessly alone and in circles around myself. I don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore.

You know what's simply hilarious? Know what's so funny?

I was expecting Kaiba to follow me.

Ha! Doesn't that make you smile? Aren't you rolling on the floor laughing at me? I would if I weren't standing on a staircase.

__

(Are you feeling all right?)

Yes, I'm perfectly fine. I wonder where Yuugi-tachi is? Maybe the game shop, right? Maybe the arcade?

I don't know, but I'll find them. I'll stay with all of them.

Sorry, Jounouchi-_kun_, I will not tell you I saw Kaiba-_sama_ today. Bakura-_chan_ is busy losing his mind to Insanity-_sama_.

Yes, I'm insulting myself. Not like anyone else is going to.

Well, except Otogi.

I'm smiling as I exit the building. I have no idea why. I reach the apartments so quickly and I'm soon upstairs, unlocking the door and entering. I can see Kaiba Corporation's headquarters in the distance. That's the tallest building in the entire city of Domino. It's quiet the ego those CEOs have. It's funny, but I'm not really laughing anymore.

I thought I wanted to find Yuugi-tachi? Why am I in my apartment? I have to leave. I drop my bag on the couch and walk to the kitchen.

"Hello, lobster."

The crustacean swims up to me as I give it food.

"I have to go now, I'm suppose to be with Yuugi-tachi, but I forgot that and came here. Are you okay?"

The lobster signals "yes" and for some reason I sigh in relief. I don't know why I asked as the lobster stays home all the time. I don't really care.

I exit the apartment again and halfway down the street I discover I still have my bag. I grabbed it again for some reason.

That or I forgot to put it down. Did I put it down?

I don't care, I'm busy distracting myself so the picture of Kaiba I keep seeing in my minds eye will stop coming up. Why is my mind even allowed to have an eye? I can't think about Kaiba now. Guilt hurts.

Before I can stop myself, I notice I'm knocking on the door to _Otogi's_. I can't turn and run as he opens the door and looks at me standing there, confused.

"Bakura, are you okay?"

I frown and look at the ground outside the apartment, under the welcome mat, randomly. Cement, pale cement. Interesting. **(C)**

"I--I don't know," I answer somehow. I'm stuttering and I don't know the reason. I want to cry about something, but I'm trying to avoid _why_. I can't think about Kaiba.

"Come in," Otogi invites. I take this willingly and enter. I walk calmly to the table and sit down.

Well, no. I don't sit down. I collapse into a chair and hold my head in my hands desperately, trying not to start crying, trying not to remember _what_.

Yes, I know I'm trembling, damn it!

I'm very sorry. I shouldn't really be swearing at this. I know for a fact it will not help me.

"What's wrong?" Otogi asks, because that's all anyone ever wants to know. Sitting down in (not collapsing into) a chair across from me.

I'm not really watching him, but I can see his hands clasped as if he's praying on the table. I picture a big mug with the words "Dr. Ryuuji" on the front next to him. My hands are now in my hair, pulling it to keep my head up. My elbows on the table are hard and bony and difficult to really move much. That's a good thing. It makes sure my head doesn't crash into the smooth, polished surface. **(D)**

I finally make an attempt to look at Otogi. Completely on accident I look right into his eyes. These two green laser beams of sorts crash into my mind and read every thought, every action, discovering the truth.

Well, I wish they were. I know this isn't so, Otogi told me. He doesn't know anything at all. He's just a damn good guesser. Ehem--a pretty good guesser. Still, at least he tries, I mean, not many do except maybe Kaiba.

But I'm not thinking about him now. No, I'm looking at Otogi, looking into his stupid eyes and trying to see if he knows _anything_.

"I don't know how to answer that, Otogi," I finally say quietly, if he even remembers the question

A brief look of concentration crosses his vision before I'm forced to look away. A slight light of understanding has shown and I can't watch that, even if it's followed by confusion and curiosity.

"Did you just leave school?" he asks randomly.

I shrug at this, "I guess."

I really didn't. But, I doubt I even went to my apartment. Maybe it was some kind of hallucination? Who knows. In a roundabout way, I'm not exactly lying.

"What's bothering you?" he asks.

I blink at this. I find the will somewhere to answer this slowly.

"Kaiba."

"What happened?"

I shake my head at him and scowl.

"Why did you have to do that, you and Yuugi? You've messed up everything!"

"Ryou, we've had this conversation."

I shake my head again at this to clear my thoughts of Kaiba. I shouldn't be acting this way in front of people--person--now. Really, I should not. I smile slightly and try to change my mood, trying to forget I'm sad or angry.

"Fine then. Let's talk about other things. Did you know I beat some kid in chess club today?" I ask brightly. "I mean, at chess. I didn't hit anyone."

For some reason Otogi sighs in annoyance. I don't get it. He should be glad at my improvement. I'm interacting with strangers.

"I'm going to watch some television, Otogi," I tell him dully, seeing he's not interested in my fake enthusiasm. "You can find me in other room."

I leave the room and quickly turn on the television. I focus my attention to the show that's on, causing minimal time to really think about why I'm so depressed and angry.

As you can see, there is nothing wrong with Ryou Bakura. He is not crazy, he's just watching television.

__

(You are a pathetic liar.)

* * *

"Ryou, Jounouchi was right, you have to do something about this problem."

I frown at Otogi. I don't know how this conversation started, but I wish it'd end sooner than later. I answer him again for the fiftieth time this minute.

"I don't have a problem, Otogi. I have no idea what you're referring to."

Otogi frowns terribly. I'm scared now. He's not happy with me for some reason.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about."

I shake my head and admonish his language quietly, praying he won't blow up or something by a vengeful god.

"Don't swear, Otogi. It makes me nervous."

Otogi stops glaring and calms down. Now he just looks sort of sad and a bit confused like he doesn't know what to do. I don't know what is so trying for him now. If he kicks me out and never talks to me again, then all will be okay and I will no longer upset him.

"Sorry," he apologizes sincerely.

He isn't happy and neither am I, I suppose. Well, he started it with those annoying questions. He gets himself worked up half the time without me saying anything.

I told him about Jounouchi yesterday and Seto Kaiba today after I beat the chess club kid. Otogi told me I like Kaiba and I shouldn't be such a baka. I contradicted him. I told him it didn't hurt me at all. He said of course it didn't; I wasn't letting myself feel it.

I'm not very happy with Ryuuji no baka. He makes me think about Kaiba, forces me to when I don't want it. He said I was being immature about everything and that I should stop trying to be so optimistic and grow up. Well, sorry, I'm not the one ruining my life, that's him and Yuugi.

Abd, yes, we were fighting over that. Yes, I'm mad at him. He was right the first time. He knows nothing. I wish Kaiba where here. Then, I could just have him convince me it is okay because he's so helplessly ignorant of everything even though he's the smartest person in the world. Of course, if I had Kaiba, Ryuuji and I wouldn't be having this little "chat" of ours.

"Ryou, you are hurting Kaiba and yourself, I hope you know."

"Well, you made things go that far, I hope _you_ know," I snap annoyingly.

"Don't worry, Bakura. I'll help you."

"How?" I mutter. It looks hopeless.

Maybe because it is?

"I'll talk to Kaiba, I'll straighten everything out," he consoles me, only I don't feel at all relieved.

"Rest assured, that's the _last_ thing I want you to do, Otogi. You've already said enough to him."

"Okay, I promise not to. I'll let you sort this all out then."

I nod, still unsure. I laugh a little at him. "Yeah, I'll do that then. I can tell Kaiba all about your lies."

Otogi rolls his eye at this. He doesn't look very happy.

"You should go home now, Ryou. Someone might think we're up to something."

I leave Otogi's alone, unhappy, and blaming Otogi for all of it. It takes forever to reach my apartment. If feels like the roads became longer and I won't make it before morning. But, I do. The clock tells me what felt like five hours was actually twenty minutes. Inside and alone I have no idea what to do. I head for the lobster because I can't be alone.

"Hello, how are you?" I ask it politely, no longer so mad now that Otogi is gone.

Well, this lobster can't do anything. He's the one I can trust out of everyone. At least he's not going to try and help me.

* * *

**Notes:**

A: I picked that up somewhere from some poem. Maybe a song though? I don't know past the fact I didn't make it up. I just memorized that and thought it'd be neat. My memory isn't too great.  
B: I find that funny, trapping a queen in chess. Me (the genius) actually did that once because I didn't notice the other person had put their pieces down wrong (the king and queen were switched). If the queen were a king though, I would have won so badly.  
C: As far as I care to look into it, Otogi is living in an apartment from now on. I don't care where he's supposed to live. That's not a concern of mine. Everyone lives in twenty minutes of each other unless their name is Kaiba Seto. Though you could say he lives at KaibaCorp, and then he does live within twenty minutes of everyone.  
D: Flash backs of Dr. Phil there. The guy gives out extra tall _and_ wide coffee cups.  
E: Not in chapter I know, many of you may feel unappreciated, denied, and incomplete at the length of this chapter, but there was no way I could add the beginning of thirteen to the end of this. Sorry

Wow, that was short chapter.


	13. Caffeine

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Yugioh.

The pairings introduced right now:  
Anzu/Yami no Yuugi  
Jounouchi/Mai

The crushes introduced right now:  
Ryou/Seto  
Ryou/Lobster

Thanks to MarmaladeGirl for beta reading for me. I'm so glad I didn't confuse everything again.

I'd like to apologize for this chapter. I know it's horrible. I tried, that's all I can say. Next chapter might be kind of on the long side…. You can look forward to that I guess.

* * *

**Chapter de Thirteenth: Caffeine**

After a thorough examination of my actions and thoughts, I think I know why I have been acting so strange for the past few days.

I'm addicted to caffeine.

Oh sure, you all laugh now. Isn't that funny? You think: _Ha, that guy's had too much coffee, but haven't we all_? Well, no, not everyone feels how I do about my caffeine intake. I think it's a good thing I'm underage or who knows what else I'd be attaching myself too? I need to be awake now, energized. I don't want to have to think about anything. I just have to go out and walk, do things so I don't have to think too much or dream too much.

Do you know how long it's been since I've slept for longer than three hours?

I'm so glad the Domino police don't take curfew that seriously in this part of town. Or, well, they do. It's by the school, but as long as I say away from the school, I'm good.

I think it's interesting. I used to spend so much time inside, moping, and feeling sorry for everyone and myself. Now I rarely ever stay in my apartment except to maybe sleep, eat, bathe, or wash and change my clothes. That's really all it's good for. A pit-stop. There is nothing in the small set of rooms to vent my sudden energy rush into.

Yes, I do get tired; don't you think I can't. I get so tired all the time I couldn't think much even if I wanted to. My energy rush is what's just barely keeping me standing. My mind is pretty much dead while I'm walking briskly up and down the sidewalks at eleven fifty-five at night, waiting for my body to stop and let me rest.

But it won't. I can't stop. I think about the strangest, most incoherent things during my strolls. I think about everything and everybody except one.

This gets very hard. Kaiba Corporation's headquarters _is_ the tallest building in all of Domino City. I keep seeing it and kicking myself for trying to think about the man who runs the place. This is difficult, so I run home and drink coffee and tea and both.

No, not mild green tea, mind you. This stuff is dark, dark brown, almost black. I drink it cold or hot, plain or with some kind of flavoring. I usually put coffee in it too. The smell of coffee kind of wakes you up before the caffeine's affect on your consciousness is activated. I've noticed this.

Right now my head is so terribly heavy and I want to collapse and sleep forever, but I can't. No matter how hard I try I cannot sleep. This self-invoked insomnia is aggravating my nerves, but at least I'm not worrying that much. I'm not worrying about anything.

I don't think Yuugi-tachi has noticed this yet. I make sure I'm plenty awake before school.

If they do notice, they are all _very_ good at hiding their concern.

That or I can't see it anymore. Maybe they are worried and in my current mental state I can't realize this.

Too bad. They should know that being silent and not saying anything about the problem doesn't help me. Telling me what's wrong and what they think is the only way I can ever tell they may worry about me. I mean, that's what Otogi does and so unlike everyone else, I can talk to him. Except I'm avoiding him.

Seto, too, is like Otogi. Seto was a bit frank though. Still he didn't say things as confusing as Otogi does. He made more sense.

Sorry, Kaiba. I mean to say Kaiba.

Or do I? Who cares anymore? Nothing is going to happen. I chased him away, remember? I like to pretend I call him Seto sometimes. It's not the most amazing name. I found another person names Seto Kaiba in a phone book, only the spelling was a little different. I wondered if he was anything like the Seto Kaiba I know.

I shouldn't be thinking about this.

Oh look, a gingko leaf. I'm standing under a gingko tree. And that's all that should matter.

You know, those leaves look just like little fans--

"Good morning, Bakura!"

I'm shaken out of my musings quite suddenly and turn around to see Mokuba Kaiba. He's waving and motioning for me to approach.

I look around the park nervously. I had no idea there was a Kaiba here. Where there's smoke there's fire. Seto Kaiba has to be nearby, planning something. I should go. My afternoon traipse through the park has just been canceled, unfortunately.

"Hey, you can at least say hello!" Mokuba scowls and laughs at the same time, obviously not that frustrated. I realize somehow I have not moved and now he's right in front of me, grabbing my sleeve and dragging me towards the bench where he'd been sitting.

"Hello," I say sounding perfectly mystified. The Mokuba starts laughing at me.

"You _are_ insane, Bakura."

I nod at this even though he isn't watching. He wants me to sit with him but his seat on the bench is taken.

No, not by Kaiba Seto. Anzu is there, actually, sitting straight and perky, waiting for someone. It's amazing. Mokuba wasn't gone that long, but here she is.

"Oh, hello Mokuba and Bakura!" she greets, standing up happily and coming over.

Wow, she moves fast. I'm getting dizzy watching her bounce around so exuberant. Well, no, she's not physically moving at all, but her happy, awake, personality is just so quick. I wish I had that kind of mental energy.

"Hi, Anzu, why are you here?" Mokuba asks while I stand silently.

"Oh, well I'm waiting for someone," she says mysteriously.

Five bucks says it's a Yami no Yuugi.

"Really? Wow, it seems like everyone's here today: you, Bakura, Yami, and me," Mokuba says. Apparently he doesn't find who Anzu is waiting for much of a mystery.

Yes, it's Visit The Park And Annoy Ryou Bakura Day. Didn't Mokuba know that? Everyone has to stop by here, find me, and torment my existence. The fact that I'm still breathing is just too much for those sadistic freaks.

"Cool! That's awesome, Mokuba," Anzu agrees, thrilled.

"Yeah, too bad _Seto_ was busy," Mokuba adds. I glare at him slightly.

"Oh, aren't him and you going out, Bakura?" Anzu asks.

"What?" I choke slightly. I think Mokuba's laughing at me.

How many people think I'm with Seto Kaiba right now? Please, for the record, I am _not_ with anyone at all. I don't want to be with anyone anyway. That doesn't matter to me. To be in a relationship does not help anything at all. Everyone seems to think it does, but they are wrong.

Yes, I have cynical outlook on relationships now. So, the point, please?

"Oops, do you not want me to tell anyone?" she asks.

I shake my head, "What are you going to tell? We--we really aren't together, Anzu."

Realization dawns on the girl's face like a gigantic light. It's slow, like a sunrise--the sun of knowledge and gossip topics: the god to so many (mostly females) I know.

"Oh, no! I didn't know. Sorry, Ryou," she apologizes. I'm reminded of Yuugi almost.

"Bakura," I correct.

"I mean Bakura, sorry."

I nod at this and look at the path behind Anzu. It's long and shady. I wish I could walk down it alone right now, without anyone bothering me. I wish this park were mine and no one else could intrude on my peace.

I make way too many wishes, and I never do anything about them.

I guess _everything's_ impossible.

Suddenly, someone's cell phone rings and distracts me. Both Anzu and Mokuba reach in their pockets. I feel a bit left out. It must be nice. _Ryou_ doesn't have a cell phone. Instead, I wait, feeling a bit awkward.

"It's mine," Anzu announces, pressing some random button and putting the phone to her ear before we can congratulate her or something. Mokuba quickly pockets his own. We stand and wait for Anzu to start talking away to the person on the other line.

"Hold on a sec," she chirps before turning to us.

Why is Anzu looking so…frustrated? She's glaring at Mokuba and me, severely annoyed.

"Sorry, can I have some privacy for this?" she asks a bit angrily, ordering us to leave.

Well, we were here first, but clear Anzu has a problem about transferring her anger.

"Whatever," Mokuba sighs, walking away, "Come on, Bakura."

I follow him like some kind of obedient puppy down the path I have been eyeing. I'm not walking alone; I'm trailing behind Mokuba. It reminds me of Kaiba and I will be forgetting that right now.

Except, it's hard to banish Kaiba from your thoughts when you're with his _little brother_.

"Bakura?" Mokuba turns around to face me once we are far away from Anzu.

"Yes?"

"What are you doing to my brother?"

I blink at this in confusion, "Nothing, why?"

Mokuba frowns and shakes his head. He looks remarkably more like his older brother when he does that. I usually doubt they're related a lot of the time. Now it's noticeable. I'm going to try not to look into his eyes; they are blue like Kaiba's.

"Yes, you are doing something. He's upset now and it's your fault."

I don't know what to say. I know I'm curious about what Kaiba has been doing. I didn't think he was upset. In fact, I was pretty sure he didn't care. Kaiba's really good at getting over stuff.

"Why'd you have to be so mean to him? What did he do wrong?"

I sigh at this and shake my head regretfully. A part of me says Mokuba was coached to say this whenever he saw me. Kaiba must have a diabolical plan. Like a chump, I would fall for it except I now better. I give Mokuba the exact same answer I gave his brother.

"You don't understand, the whole Yuugi thing, I can't trust your brother at all."

Mokuba watches, looking a bit offended.

"What if that was just a ploy to get _your_ attention, Bakura?" he snaps at me. His little voice is such that I can't take him seriously.

"Well, it was badly preformed then," I tell him.

Mokuba just shakes his head like I'm hopeless. Well, I guess I am, but I already know that.

"Do you have any other reason to not agree with Seto?" he asks.

I think about this. Well, no-one's ever asked me that. "Uh…."

"See, why let such a small thing get in the way?" Mokuba asks with a small look of triumph on his face. I try to figure out the reason and end up trailing pathetically.

"I'm…I'm not comfortable."

"Huh?"

"Well, no, you wouldn't understand," I say, watching the rest of the path. I want to be alone right now, walking and thinking. I don't need to be talking with Mokuba Kaiba.

"What makes you think that, Bakura?" Mokuba pouts and tries to be adorable.

"Because…" My voice drowns itself again before resurfacing, "I don't really understand it myself."

"Then forget about it," Mokuba advises with his blunt, optimistic logic. I tend to take the term 'forget about it' a bit too far sometimes. He shouldn't suggest that.

"I can't."

"Why?"

I don't know what to say in reply. Finally I recall what Kaiba said over a week ago and answer along the same lines, "I'm afraid."

"Of what?"

"Everything. I don't know," I mutter quietly while Mokuba studies my answer. He throws my words against me with uncanny accuracy. Apparently he learns many things from his brother.

"But you do know you can make Seto happy. Make him stop being so angry and all."

I'm in doubt. I'm always in doubt because nothing _ever_ lasts.

"How do you know?" I ask. Mokuba shrugs.

"I have no idea. Maybe I know his brother or something?"

I frown at this answer, "That isn't funny."

"Cool!" he exclaims sarcastically.

"You're really starting to annoy me, Mokuba," I say quickly. He smiles before say something that almost sounds a bit serious.

"Seto's really starting to bother me, Bakura."

I scowl ungracefully at this announcement.

"Well…" I begin. Like usual in these situations, I cannot end my sentence. Argh, why can't I tell Mokuba about Otogi and Yuugi? Something about me won't.

"Well…what?" Mokuba smarts _again_. He's got to stop doing that.

I decide I'm going to tell him now. I'm going to tell him all about Yuugi and Ryuuji, and everything.

"Okay, what you don't understand, what you don't see, Mokuba, is your brother doesn't love me. No, not really. He only _thinks_ he does because some idiots I know convinced him he did. He'll get over it once he sees how pathetic their suggestions were."

Mokuba takes this calmly. I fact, he looks completely unaffected.

"You're wrong," he informs me like I just told him one plus one was fifteen.

"What you don't understand, what you don't see, Bakura, is my brother does have a thing for you. Yes, really. He only _thinks_ he doesn't because some idiot I'm talking to told him to back off. He'll get over it if that idiot apologizes and tells him how stupid they were."

My face twists into some ugly expression as I glare at Mokuba. Is this how he employs his memory, into parroting my sentence structures back at myself?

"No, Yuugi and Otogi convinced Seto of all that nonsense."

"You're forgetting something," Mokuba smirks at me, "Seto had this all planned out, considerably, _before_ your idiot friends said two words to him."

I blink at a moment. I do remember what Kaiba said about that.

Then maybe Yuugi and Otogi were keeping him to his convictions? Maybe this little plan of his was kept alive by their reassurances after I kept messing everything up? Over and over as my nature dictates?

This is getting way too confusing for me, thank you. I control nothing about my life at all. If I accept this idea, then I admit to the guilt of my actions, and guilt hurts.

What can I do?

"You see?" he asks.

I shrug and walk around Mokuba quickly. I'm leaving now, excuse me.

"I really can't help you, goodbye."

"Bakura!"

I keep walking, not looking back. Mokuba runs after me and stands in the way, not letting me pass.

"I have to say one more thing before you go," he tells me. I stop.

"Wha--owe!"

Mokuba just kicked me in the shin and is now running away. I can't go after him, my leg almost gives out. In fact, maybe it hurts a little too much.

What's that kid have, metal soles?

The spot where he kicked me is throbbing painfully. It's probably going to bruise.

Why'd he have to kick so hard?

I hobble over to a bench and sit down to nurse my injury. It hurts so badly for some reason. I think he has rocks in his shoe or something. That kick had to be loaded.

What does that kid think he's going to prove to me by inflicting pain? He knows nothing about everything. Mokuba's like what, ten? How does a ten-year-old boy know the way his brother's love life is going? That's not right.

You see, when I was growing up with my mother, children where seen and not heard, just mini parents-in-waiting, a symbol of your domestic tranquility or lack thereof. I wish someone had taught this philosophy to Mokuba that so he wouldn't try to hold all these intelligent conversations concerning his older brother. I know Mokuba probably has a good idea what he's talking about, but _I_, Ryou Bakura, cannot think that much.

I remember Kaiba saying Mokuba was a good actor. Ha. So I can't believe him then. How do I know he's not lying and trying to trick me into the false belief that Seto cares?

I can hear another cell phone ringing Beethoven's Ninth.

Why does everyone have one of those but me? They're everywhere except my pocket.

I wish I could call someone, anyone, right now. I just don't know who though.

I can't call Seto because he'd probably block me. I know it. The only number I have even halfway memorized is Otogi's because it used to be important. But, it's not vital knowledge anymore. Caffeine keeps me talking fast and unfocused on my problems. Then, I don't have to talk about them to Otogi, Yuugi, or anyone.

My head hurts so badly right now. Do you know the feeling? It's like there's this blacksmith using my abnormally thick skull as an anvil and is trying to hammer something into shape. This makes no sense. It's painful but somehow I'm very, very, very tired and cold fall asleep through it. I want to close my eyes and sleep forever without dreams or anything, just a pleasant darkness.

I open my eyes quickly. I almost fell asleep on a park bench. That isn't good. I'm surprised I wasn't arrested the last time I did that. I guess Otogi bribed the police.

_Otogi: Yeah, see that kid sleeping there, let him.  
__Officer: Why sir, it's against the law.  
__Otogi: Sorry, I have to be here to tell him horrible things we know about his life. Here's five hundred yen, go buy a donut or something.  
__Officer: Goodbye._

Yeah, you know he probably did? That sounds like Otogi, right down to the donut insult.

I shake my head and stand up. My leg can carry me, but I feel the obvious bruise. I still don't know why it was necessary to cause me pain. I haven't hurt Mokuba.

He said I hurt Kaiba though.

Of course, Mokuba _is_ a liar….

* * *

I win again. I can't believe it. This video game is getting easy. If I stand by the blue horse before the carrousel starts moving, I land in the winning area.

I've noticed this after over an hour of playing. I've won twice, but I haven't gotten any places past seventh.

Well, I _didn't_. Up till now.

I can't believe it, I finally made second placing slot. Now I just need to go for first.

I wouldn't be surprised if Kaiba suddenly just showed up behind me. I almost want him to.

Maybe that is why I cannot stop playing? My mind might be having some inconspicuous fantasy about this place, by this game, and I cannot leave till:

a) It's proved wrong

Or,

b) It suddenly reveals I have psychic powers and laughs as Seto appears.

Yeah, I'll go with answer a.

_Bob: Answer a? Correct, Betsy, show him what he's won!  
__Betsy: Bob, Bakura has won…absolutely nothing!_

Uh, yeah….

"Bakura?"

"No!" I yelp, startled out of my thoughts at this voice and jumping onto the video game screen for the second time in my life. My thick head makes a dull clunk sound.

"Huh?"

I turn around and blush again, ashamed I was caught here, playing this game. I can't help but think it's painfully obvious why I'm here. "Otogi, shouldn't you be at work or something?"

Otogi smirks and shakes his head.

"Sorry, it's been diagnosed; I'm an ATW."

I furrow my brow in confusion at this, "ATW?"

"**A**llergic **T**o **W**ork. It's extremely rare."

"Really?" I ask, not too amused.

"Yeah, and I think you have contracted it too. How long has it been since you've done anything productive, Ryou?"

I sigh and turn back to the video game to sprain my wrists and wear my thumbs away. I drop money inside and start maneuvering the avatar. Otogi still hasn't left.

"You know what?" he asks. I ignore him successfully and dodge a dragon character to grab a few coins.

"I was thinking of you earlier today when I was talking with one of our mutual friends. I remembered my little promise a while back and didn't try to assault anyone…much."

I know what he's saying and it's awfully annoying. I'm nervous, too. I don't know what Otogi's done. Maybe him and Kaiba have made a deal to get me in some kind of hospital. I wouldn't put it past them.

And he promised not to talk to Kaiba.

Note to self: Never trust Ryuuji Otogi.

"What did you say to Kaiba?" I cave and ask.

"Nothing I haven't said before. He wasn't that angry this time, but I still got evicted from the mansion. I think he's going to show the guards my picture and make sure I never stop by again for any more _chats_, or so to speak."

I frown at this and almost lose concentration on the game. I know Otogi's not going to give me any details. I don't know why he's bothered to tell me these things.

I'm not messed up, Otogi is. He does stupid things just to mock me. Who is like that?

"What?" I ask self-consciously, as Otogi is watches the screen. He knows this is getting in the way of my game play.

"Nothing," he says innocently as the avatar lands in a pit of stalagmites when my attention detours from the progression of the path.

"Okay, that's strange, Bakura."

"What?" I ask, watching "Game Over" flash across the screen.

"That little avatar doesn't stop smiling, even when he dies," he awes at the screen. I look towards the point of interest and see that yes, the face still has that stupid grin even though it's dead.

"It's kind of sick," I mutter. I don't like to have the character die.

"It's creepy, in a morbid way."

I nod my head and smirk. Actually it's almost funny. The avatar never knows if you're going to kill it or not, so it just keeps smiling. I wonder how the avatar felt, seeing that my lax in control was leading it right over a ledge. Would it have been able to stop itself if I had warned it, predicted it's future, or would that only give it a burden of knowing what would happen, that there would be nothing the guy could do about it?

Maybe the all that matters is he can do nothing. He is a mindless avatar and made of nothing but tinted light.

In the end, I can only think so highly of that character that is somewhat analogous to my own. The same thing might as well account for me. If for some reason some outside force is controlling my life, maybe there's nothing I can do except hope they don't have a friend like Otogi to distract them.

Of course, again, if there is some divine power (to sound tragically cliché), I haven't ever bothered with it in my mind. In contrast to the emotions I block out in my own realities, my outside focus is doing very well. I mean outside as in outdoors not people. Nature doesn't try to mess up your personal life like other people.

Well, forget that. There's the lobster in my bathtub. That's just creepy.

And that avatar is creepy too.

My hand is still reaching in my pocket for another coin to drop in. I have to keep this going, I can't stop now or it won't be right, not until I get first place.

My fingers grasp the cold metal and begin to draw it out, but someone has my wrist.

"Drop it, Bakura."

I release the coin in Otogi's hard grip. He's stronger than me; I highly doubt I could fight him off.

And it's just a small bit of money, no reason to start a war over it, right?

But how will I pay the game again?

I try to reach down and grab the coin, but Otogi pulls my hand out of my pocket and holds it in front of me, far from my pocket. He looks very angry for some reason and I'm terrified.

Now, if I really wanted the money, I could just reach across with my other hand and make a quick reach for it, but I can't. Otogi has one free hand as well and I don't want to be completely helpless and pinned.

I know, I think fast, don't I?

Believe me, it's the caffeine that hasn't worn off in my brain.

Of course, maybe I do want to be pinned. Maybe I want to be hurt? I already do that to myself mentally, don't I? Maybe I want to be killed. Then no one can point fingers and screech 'Incompetent!' in their condemning voices.

"Otogi…?" I ask nervously. I'm genuinely afraid.

"You're not going to be here all day playing this pathetic video game, Ryou," he scowls as me.

You know what, his grip is getting very tight now. My hand is above my heart, the blood is flowing mostly down, and circulation is being rudely cut off. My arm pulls back reflexively at this restraint, but Otogi is freakishly strong.

Or, well, I could be freakishly weak.

"Otogi, please," I wishper, twisting my hand again and looking around to see if anyone is watching.

To my surprise, Otogi snaps out of it. He stop glaring and looking totally ready to kill me.

Best of all, he lets go.

As soon as this manacle is gone, I jump back a few feet just to be safe.

"I'm sorry," Otogi apologizes.

Much to my amazement, I'm not running away, screaming and hiding. Maybe I'm just cutting him some slack. I go weird and creepy on Otogi all the time.

"What was that, Ryuuji?" I ask, "What was that?"

Otogi frowns at this, "I just don't think you should be in here all day. It's not good for you."

"Where else do I go?" I come back. This is actually good compared to my other lame snaps and their pseudo-intelligent irony.

"I dunno, sleep? You look dead," he informs me.

Otogi's always first with the compliments, isn't he?

"I'm not tired," I half-lie. Yes, I am tired, but not enough to collapse or anything.

"Then we're going to go find Yuugi-tachi, you need company," he decides.

I shake me head but Otogi points at the door.

"Come on," he orders.

I follow him to the door, ready to grab a pen and stab it in the back of his neck.

The last thing I need is a group of people boring me to death. People who sit in one place when I want to wander. People who don't even notice I'm gone half the time.

I think it's safe to say I'll never forgive Otogi for dragging me halfway across Domino for two hours trying to find Yuugi-tachi. I was stuck with the group all the rest of the day and now that it's getting dark out, I'm going to end up spending most of the night at the Motou's game shop.

It's not too terrible. No one is really paying that much attention to me. I'm watching all of them nicely. It's interesting and gives me something to do. It's not as interesting as all those other exciting things I've been doing alone for the past week, but I have to remain optimistic.

Well, at least I can bask in the collected happiness and normalcy. Yes, Yami no Yuugi and Anzu seem to be hitting it off. I don't know what they find to talk about, but they never seem to stop very long. Everyone's primary focus though, is Jounouchi. He's inconspicuously making fun of Honda.

Honda apparently deserves this as he is trying to impress Shizuka in the most bizarre fashions. He's eating funny, saying loads of nonsense, and bragging so much you'd wonder if he were second to nothing in _everything_.

He must really like Shizuka.

I'm so glad Kaiba didn't act so silly around me. I don't know, that just freaks me out. It's like Honda had lost all control over his actions. He's forgetting the fact he looks like a complete idiot, acting like the people he makes fun of on television shows. But, surprisingly, this fails to bother Shizuka at all. I don't get it.

Maybe Kaiba should have acted like an idiot. Of course, then I would just think he was insane, not in love. Really, who wouldn't? Kaiba would be terrfying acting as awkward as Honda is. You'd think he was on something.

But then, I guess Kaiba was kind of messing up, kind of dwelling in his own level of idiocy. I've seen his façade or whatever he's wrought, slip on several occasions. That for him is something extremely foolish and against the magisterial dogma he has set up for a life in business. I should have been immediately suspicious of him when I saw the first hint of humanity.

So yes, Kaiba was sort of suffering trips and nerves in his own way. I was also, but I always am, so lets not broadcast that too much now. I think everyone understands there's an insanity factor on my side always.

But Kaiba, there was a difference in him before and him when the whole Yuugi fiasco started. I dunno, maybe he was more…human, more real. Again, he was slipping and it should've tipped me off. It was like he was there and he could makes mistakes (as was proven quite hideously in my mind). He hit a level of mortality I could see, and I should not have seen it. I should have remembered that.

"So then I asked this punk if he had some kind of problem and he's like 'no, no way man, I'm gone' so, I'm like 'yeah, you better run or I'm going to come up so fast as you can't see and kick your—' "

"Honda, please watch your language in front of my sister."

"Sorry, Jounouchi, just telling it like it is. The world's can be an ugly place."

"Well, downplay the profanity, _please_."

"No problem. --Hey, are you having any fun Bakura?"

I look up finally as this riveting conversational stream is channeled to me. I smile nicely and nod, hoping this isn't going to inspire another chapter that is the Hiroto Honda Legacy Series playing for free every time the narcissist opens his mouth. The only one whom it refuses to annoy is the only one it's really directed to, Shizuka Jounouchi. She is like some kind of goddess whereas nothing can ever perturb her, never ever.

"Well, don't just stand over there in the corner. You're not a wall ornament, you can move around."

I blush and walk over, apologizing.

"Sorry, Honda."

"Then you are forgiven. I absolve you of all your inadequate social skills. Go now, and speak to other people!"

I blush again and stare into my drink, suddenly very fascinated with the bubbles inside. They are like tiny, iridescent Czechoslovakian beads. Too bad they're the only things that make the drink enjoyable. No one really likes flat soda that much.

As quickly as Honda took notice of me, I am forgotten. I watch the others chatting while I stand amid their voices, not really in a conversation with anything.

"I'm going to go get some more cakes," I excuse if anyone's listening. I exit the room and enter the kitchen without hindrance.

"Hey, the duel is on!" Yuugi cheers, turning up the TV volume. I turn and look out at everyone while they unanimously face the screen.

I'd laugh if it wouldn't break the mood. Their expressions are instantly so listless, so distant from everything. That is the power of the broadcast: they are each helplessly transfixed. Less than six seconds ago they were alive and discussing so many impersonal issues with complete concentration. Now they stare at the television appearing almost stoned, like zombies, dead and cold. They are suddenly frozen over and it's insane.

Yuugi gets up once like some living statue. He hurries to the light switch and flips it off in under five nanoseconds. It's amazing almost. He sits down, taking in more of the TV's hypnotic waves, watching the people on the set with a dreamy, yet absorbent intenseness. He's holding out for something. He's waiting to correct the announcer, waiting to sigh at the commercial intermission, waiting for so many different things one does watching television and ending up eventually sleeping or dead from the brain failing to connect all the flashing light and movement, giving up at last after years of practice.

You could die watching too much television.

Well, not unless you are accustom to it. Nowadays we're all so well trained for these things that no one dies but the mentally impaired who can get helplessly lost in the bright color and over smiling faces going by so quickly.

This is not including me. I hardly watch much past newscasts when I have nothing better to do. I just find television boring for most shows.

I'm not at all interested in this duel everyone is watching right now. I quietly slip into the dark kitchen and look down at the cupcakes on the counter. There are vanilla and chocolate flavor. Both are devilishly delicious, but my highest preference is for the chocolate ones with white icing. I grab one plump little cake and look down at it. I can smell the sweetness. I can almost taste it in my mouth, on the tip of my tongue. If I had to eat one thing for the rest of my life, I might just rashly choose chocolate.

I suppose many others would too.

I can't eat the cake though. This is actually quite strange as I've only had two and that's nowhere near gluttonous. In fact, that's _a lot_ less than everyone else here.

I recognize this feeling though and I'm attempting to repress it again. I'm feeling the same horrible sinking in my chest for no reason whatsoever. My stomach is turning and threatening to fall out of reality. It isn't pleasant at all. I have to put the cake down and lean against the counter quietly.

I don't get it anymore. I suppose how much I love the food is reminding me how much I love something else. The TV hates me and I know it. I walk halfway in to the room again and on the screen is the Kaiba Corp logo for whatever the duelists are using to battle with. I want to turn it off, but everyone is watching. It doesn't remind them of anything particularly shameful. My guilt is trying to get me again and I'm afraid it's succeeding.

I try to go further into the room, but I don't really want anyone to notice my obsessive panic. It doesn't matter, the closer I get to the group, the more alone and awkward I feel. Because, even though I wish Yuugi-tachi won't see me, they can't always defy my thought and notice anyway.

I frown and feel a terrible sadness at this. I know there's no reason, but I can't help it. I can imagine someone holding me and making me feel better, but that usually won't help anyone one the verge of tears. You could think about your mother or your friend or your partner, but that always makes it worse.

I don't know why, but I think I'm snapping. Otogi told me I would eventually and I ignored him. He was right, I'm always wrong, and now I get to suffer.

This is just great….

I glare at Yuugi-tachi for not noticing me, not realizing the dilemma behind them. I turn and rush to the kitchen, just wanting to get away from their inability to read a mind in chaos, breaking apart right in the next room. I know this is vain and more than a little stupid of me, but still. If they want to "help" so badly, they should pay attention.

Right this minute I feel ready to throw up. I don't see why I cannot send this feeling of failure away again. I've become so very good at that and now it has no affect. I'm starting to realize things that hurt and I really, really don't want to.

"Everyone is happy but Ryou" is a strong idea running through my mind, crying, as it pities itself and what I've seen. It's telling me everyone has his or her own match or his or her own area of comfortable aloneness and I do not. It tells me I need something; someone, and I went and got rid of my last chance. Being gay and finding a person where there is a mutual attraction might as well not happen again since I don't seem to like these things being so positive for once. Finding anyone mutually attracted to me might as well never happen again, even if the attraction is contrived on false premises.

I wonder how exactly a broken heart is suppose to feel. I'm afraid I'll die or something if this falling sensation in my chest doesn't begin to let up. It's painful and I hate it greatly.

_(Stop it! There's nothing wrong, fool.)_

I'm not feeling good at all.

_(Eat something. Stop making this an issue, it's nothing and you know it.)_

I frown and look at the cakes. I couldn't eat even if I were starving. I'd choke on the dryness.

Kisses would be wet though. Very nice. Maybe nicer if I responded to them instead of freaking out.

_(Idiot.)_

I shake my head and look at my drink sitting forlorn on the counter. A sip could wet my mouth easily but I'll drown. I can hardly breathe now as I'm panicking over something.

This is terrible. Pathetic. I'm terrible. Pathetic. Why can't I just forget everything like always? What's wrong with me right now that is messing with everything I'm trying not to think about? I'm angry with myself for this. I'm failing horribly. I can't push it away like before. I cannot disconnect from the frustrating emotions brought on by that stupid TV and cake.

I can hear the others. Honda is laughing about something and it's very loud, very disrupting. I'm almost bolted back into my proper sense, but instead I'm just overly tired. I haven't had any caffeinated beverages in nearly three hours so now my head and my body are both equally worn out. This is probably why I cannot repress everything. Staying with Otogi all day and the arcade before then hasn't allowed me time for any coffee or anything. The former effects are wearing away and I'm losing it. I'm ready to collapse.

"Ryou, are you all right?"

I look down at Yuugi lazily as he has come in for more food. I'm leaning wearily against the counter and must look ill.

"Sorry, Yuugi, I'm just really sleepy," I mutter, yawning, "I really have to go before drop off."

Yuugi nods at this sympathetically, "Yeah, it is late. I guess you're not used to it. Sorry."

I stand up and head for the door while everyone in front of the TV cheers loudly and Jounouchi roars about how didn't he call that, did he not call that, did he totally not call that or what? And Honda echoing, oh yes you did, you totally did, yeah. It's kinda funny.

"Bye," Yuugi says, hurrying to the other room again to catch up with the action of the match. I head Jounouchi telling him about what he missed, and, again, how he totally called it, didn't Yuugi hear that? I leave before Yuugi comes back, genuinely worried about me.

I just barely can make it home and up the stairs to my apartment. I want to just close my eyes and not open them halfway through the door. I don't bother to change my clothes or anything as I drag myself to my room and fall into the bed.

Surprisingly, I cannot drift off at all. I glare at the clock for a few minutes.

A few _hours_ later, I'm dead asleep.

* * *

(Ha, felt like making this longer! I have nowhere to put this bit anyway.)

The school cafeteria is hell. They serve you food upperclassmen have rejected or half eaten the day before. I know it. The women behind the scenes of this questionably edible freak show take everything from yesterday, grind it all together, add some color to signify attempts to look like different foods. Then they serve the lot in little boxes with two toothpicks they'd really like us to call chopsticks but know damn well are not.

But I'm not really thinking about that, no. I'm not making any attempt to eat today's blend.

Actually, my mind has run off elsewhere, forgetting any want of substance. I don't need food, I need solitude to capture and memorize every second of what has happened so I can replay it all in my mind and try to form the barest semblance of hope from the slightest pupil dilation.

Well, not that extreme, but close enough.

See, I did something this morning I should be embarrassed of and worrying over, but I'm not.

This morning I bumped into Seto Kaiba, no, really slammed into him.

Yes, I can hear you laughing. Please stop.

Usually such a thing is not a big deal, but for one detail. This is one thing that did not fail to bypass my attention and mental record.

Kaiba was flustered. No, really. His face was almost pale pink and that's a lot for him. I could tell it wasn't so anger either. Just sheer, 'oh no, this is Bakura'-ness discomfort. I couldn't believe it, I had to look him in the eyes and it was as close to being spelled out as he'd ever let such a thing be.

Naturally, I blushed and looked at his mouth while he hesitated. I waited for him to just turn and keep going, but he stopped, as if on the verge of saying something. I hung onto the expression till there was a strange sound, like a choke or….

…Or a stutter.

I looked over him again to make exactly sure it was Seto Kaiba before choosing whether to panic or not.

I didn't have time to decide as the bell rang and sent me flying halfheartedly to class across the building.

Now I'm a bit hopeful. I don't know, it's been forever since I've said two words to Kaiba. He might have been gasping in shock and outrage.

Of course, I didn't read any shock or outrage.

I have been thinking I'm dreaming imagining things, but if I keep pinching my arm, it's going to bruise.

"Bakura, are you gonna eat that?"

I blink and look across the table to Jounouchi who's watching my lunch box ravenously.

It's really kind of… creepy, the way his eyes have that almost glazed longing, so desiring. It's a look you don't watch people with and I'm relieve it's directed at the food. If someone looked me like that, I'd freak.

"Here, I wasn't going to--" I permit, pushing my food across the table, and being cut off by Anzu.

"Bakura!"

"What?" I ask innocently while Jounouchi groans.

"You shouldn't be giving your food away like that. You have to eat too."

My brow furrows in confusion while I'm slowly pulling my lunch back.

"I'm not hungry," I tell her, opening the container.

"So, you shouldn't give away your food. I haven't seen you keep your lunch and eat it in forever."

"She's got a point, Bakura," Yuugi agrees.

"Yeah, I guess," Jounouchi sides as well.

I watch helplessly as they all take ranks against me. I cave and grab my chopsticks, looking down at the meal, fake, but so wonderfully arranged.

Once everyone is back into their own conversations, I begin the task of reforming the masses so it seems I've consumed some portion. Anzu notices this for some strange reason.

"Okay, if you're going to put up such a resistance, I'm going to sit here and watch every mouthful till lunch is over."

My eyes widen in disbelief. She isn't serious, is she?

"Go ahead, eat. I have until the bell rings," she informs me curtly, making herself comfortable.

"I'm really not hungry," I plea, "I'll throw up."

Anzu smirks at this, "You don't really think I'll believe _that_?"

"Bakura, it's just food," Jounouchi encourages slightly, not really helping at all.

I give and grab some of the food in my chopsticks, slowly raising it to my mouth. To please them I chew it and swallow, not really relishing the flavor or anything positive. I'm making sure they realize just how slightly annoyed I am as I repeat the motion with no expression.

Anzu nods approvingly while my emotionless outlook is continued.

In a short while, the meal is almost halfway gone.

"There, you're not ill, now are you? You can stop eating now, but I don't see why you'd want—argh!"

Anzu frowns at me. The second she said that, "you can stop eating," I dropped my chopsticks, closed my lunch, and pushed it to Jounouchi who began to feast.

"You two disgust me," she growls.

"No we don't," Jounouchi defends with a highly attractive strand of dripping noodle dangling from his mouth.

"I'm not that hungry," I remind her.

Anzu is sore at me for the rest of lunch. I don't mind too much, it's fairly her fault. Jounouchi supported me anyway, but he just wanted the food in the end. Once the bell rings, I'm the quickest to leave. I enter to an empty hall before anyone just in time to see Kaiba again.

This morning flashes by quickly in my mind's eye, but I don't need it recalled to know why I'm suddenly very nervous.

To my complete shock and horror, Kaiba is walking towards me. My mind faithfully goes blank and leaves me stranded in the growing sea of students filing about.

Finally, nature overcomes mental commands and I feel ready to become sick because I've eaten more than my stomach has been trained to hold. Rudely I run to the restroom.

I think the look on Kaiba's face becomes slightly disappointed before I'm too far gone to see. He also looks irritated. It's more like him to be irritated at the same time as disappointed. They are nearly the same thing for him.

In the restroom, I try not to become sick. Kaiba's in my next class and I don't want to alarm Mrs. Teacher Lady who I have for the rest of the day. She tends to take things further out of proportion than I do and that's saying a lot.

_(You're so pathetic. I can't believe you can't hold food. Even your stomach is weak.)_

I glare at my reflection and try to calm down. I need to make myself rational. After what Mokuba told me about Kaiba (well, reminded me), I don't think I'll find it very easy to be actually comfortable around him till something happens, till some kind of closure is attained.

The tardy bell has already rung as I exit the restroom and make my way slowly to class. I'm already late, there's really no reason to break out into a guilty run.

I knock on the classroom door and the teacher opens it, observing me with a scowl.

"Decided to join us, Bakura?"

I nod quietly as the entire class is watching me. I enter and sit down, taking out my textbooks and following up with everyone else.

"Now, as I was saying…" the teacher continues.

I listen faintly. I'm underwater and she's above so it's very hard to discern any reasonable words. There's this droning noise that is trying, with a non-applauded effort to make sense but simply isn't.

I don't care. I'm a bundle of nerves. I know Kaiba is somewhere behind me, he probably watched me come in.

This is suddenly bothering me.

* * *

I don't want to get up. I'm not even tired right now, but if I try to move everything will become difficult. I could be outside right now and not alone. I know this but it's impossible to do anything.

Out there I'd just be alone in a group anyway, which doesn't feel too great. I can picture Kaiba joining us and mess with that idea. I know it will not happen, but my imagination hasn't realized that.

My imagination needs a reality check.

But then, everything it comes up with is, well, _imaginary_. The only thing there is a false truth, a play-acted life to what I'd want to be happening but isn't. I tell myself to not pay attention to the fantasy in my head. The world isn't very reliable there. I do not predict the future, no; I make a new future for myself till I'm too confused to stand out of bed.

Like right now.

I wish Otogi would come over.

I don't want anyone here though.

My anxiety is going to kill me. I'm nervous for some reason now and I can't do anything at all. I'm just sprawled across my bed watching the ceiling for all the good it does me. There's nothing but what's in my head and that is too much to get into right now.

In my failing sense of reality I can hear the lobster splashing from the bathroom. I wonder if he can stand all day by himself? I wonder what he does to pass the time. Maybe he hates me, thinks of me as his insane captor who almost ended his life in my carelessness. I don't know, but it could be so. I have no idea.

Wait, did the lobster just stop swimming? Is that faint sound through the wall of water draining away?

I panic, jump from the bed and run to the bathroom. I throw open the door and rush to the tub, looking in nervously.

No, nothing's wrong. The lobster sends a few bubbles up at my presence. I watch him silently somewhat relieved over the fact he's not in danger.

I know I cannot keep this lobster forever. I'm afraid he'll kill himself from loneliness if my treatment doesn't first. I lock him in a tub for hours and leave. I yell at him for swimming. I'm so unpleasant to this poor animal.

"Sorry," I apologize for everything. The lobster ignores me and swims again. I try to think of something interesting. All I can talk about is what has been on my mind for the past few hours.

"I bumped into Seto," I tell the lobster before it reaches the other side of the tub away from me. The lobster turns around and comes back.

"Yeah, and I think he was going to say something too, but the bell rang."

The lobsters sends up a few bubbles, like he's scoffing 'eh, figures'. Still, I don't know a hundred-percent if he's acknowledging me or merely breathing.

"Then I saw him after lunch. I panicked though; I ran."

The lobster clamps his claw at this and I frown, "It's not my fault, I was going to be sick. I ate too much."

I think the lobster is lifting its claw in disbelief. I don't care if so or not, I just need to talk to something and the lobster will do nicely.

"Hey, it's not that I was glutting myself, okay? Anzu and the guys were being terrible to me. Tyrannical Anzu wanted me to eat and she got everyone on her side."

I bet if the lobster could he'd be rolling his eyes at me. I sigh. "Yes, I have no will of my own."

My lobster seems to agree with this. I find the agreement unbearably annoying. I push away the faint awarness that talking to a lobster is stupid and crazy and continue.

"So, do you think Seto still cares?" I ask, almost nervously. I haven't asked anyone this question because I don't want to see their answers to it. They will all be positive and think I'm only asking for reassurance that yes, he does. I find even asking a lobster, which hardly knows Seto, intimidates me.

There is a loud splash as the lobsters gets water on me with a strong flick of his tail fin. I jump back, spitting the liquid from my mouth.

"That's disgusting," I scowl, "Fine, I don't want your answer!"

I exit the bathroom and close the door. I hear the lobster splashing about, mocking me and the fool I've proven I am. I grab a towel from the linen closet and attempt to dry my wet hair.

I don't know if that drenching was a no, a yes, or something else all together.

* * *

**Note(s):**

A:not any in chapter

None of you better think I consider Kaiba sane. Everyone's deficient somewhere. Here's what makes Kaiba stand out a bit though.

You know what, Kaiba hallucinates vividly when he's depressed. Yeah, you can't be all that sane when you see your younger self running around, telling you you're a failure, and leading you around Pegasus's castle once it's decided you aren't that much of a dunce because Yuugi was able to save the day…_again_. I've only seen Kaiba crying once (or near to it I suppose) and it was over Mokuba in Peggy's castle.


	14. Bakatare

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Yugioh.

The pairings introduced right now:  
Anzu/Yami no Yuugi  
Jounouchi/Mai

The crushes introduced right now:  
Ryou/Seto  
Ryou/Lobster

Such wonderful people, those beta's. Thanks to R Amythest for beta-reading.

Sorry, this chapter was being difficult. I'd be damned to say it was funny at all. I guess you guys have to just bear through it then. Some of you might like it.

* * *

**Chapter de Fourteenth: Bakatare**

If you are "cheesing" someone off, you are basically aggravating him or her. Have you ever bothered to use the term "cheese off?" Have you ever heard the expression? I find it comical. Things that are annoying or cliché tend to be referred to as "cheesy."

Well, I feel very "cheesed off" at the moment.

I also feel like the biggest dunce in the history of the human race right now, but it's all right. I'm used to that.

I can't believe what Otogi did. I'm so mortified. Why? I remember how I felt when Seto actually bothered to respond; I was shocked, afraid, and nervous. My face was so red I think my hair almost began to smolder.

Note to self: You _hate_ Otogi.

Do you know what that idiot did? No, you don't. I'm almost too embarrassed to repeat it myself. It was appalling. I thought Otogi could have shown a bit more tact than that. He could have at least waited till the entire class was gone. I mean, half the room was still filing out and then he asked so loudly.

Otogi is too rude. I want to break all ties, disassociate with him in every way possible.

I guess you want to know what happened, right? Okay, here it is.

At the end of class earlier, Otogi did the most dreadful thing ever imagined in the history of the world. He walked up to Kaiba right when the bell finished ringing and asked him a little too loudly if he, (I'm going to personally kill Otogi) asked him if he still liked me. Or as he put it: Baka Bakura.

I was halfway out of the classroom as he said this. I cruelly pushed some of my fellow students past as I bolted. I think Yuugi turned to go scold Otogi. I didn't see Kaiba's reaction, but I left slow enough to pick up the word "I."

Now that could have been an "I do, yes," an "I don't, no," an "I never!" or (with any luck) an "I will kill you now, Dice Freak!"

_I_ have no idea. _I_ was gone by then.

And now I'm in my apartment making tea. The lobster is watching me from the bathroom down the hall like I'm some kind of deserter. I'm ignoring him well enough. I've called an aquarium. I'm going to drop him of in a few days. He can't stay here.

The lobster sounds a bit stunned, too, and for some reason I'm proud about it.

I don't think the lobster recognizes why I'm home so early on a Wednesday. Usually Yuugi-tachi drags me to the arcade or the mall at this time. Not today. I have to hide away for a bit till someone comes and tells me it's safe to leave.

Till then, I'm pouring myself some warm tea and sitting down with a paperback. I don't know what the book is, but I'm determined to read it. I'm at the table fully decent in jeans and a shirt and I'm not leaving anywhere. I'm just going to absorb some more caffeine like a sponge and be up all night. It's a disgrace. I haven't had tea or coffee in so long, I almost kicked the addiction. That's too bad; just blame Otogi.

"Awe, you look so lonesome," a voice croons from the doorway. I stare defiantly up at Ryuuji Otogi who has been brave (or stupid) enough to show his face.

"Have a nice chat with Kaiba?" I ask unpleasantly, looking into the opening page of my book.

"Did you hear that?"

My eyes fix on Otogi again. I am not wearing a happy expression as I answer, "Yeah, me and half the period."

"Oh, I guess you hate me again, do you?" Otogi groans falsely, like this behavior of mine is getting overly exhausting and routine.

I gaze back up at him. I don't say a word to this. Nor do I bat an eyelid or make a sort of movement till Otogi decides to yield. This is not so. I end up going once more to my book and taking another mouthful of tea.

"Is that a caffeine-including beverage I smell?" Otogi questions accusingly.

"Yep," I answer, offhandedly placing the mug back down. Otogi frowns at this and shakes his head.

"You're not supposed to drink that, Ryou. Remember what we said about your little problem?"

I shrug, "So?"

"You promised to stop," he reminds me. I roll my eyes and grab the mug again.

"You promised not to talk to Kaiba and today is the second time you've blown that word of honor out of the water," I retort, taking another sip. Otogi shakes his head again and lowers his eyes. I quickly down some obscenely large gulps. I know he's going to end up taking the mug away from me so I have to get the most of it now.

"But what you're doing isn't good for you," he says, looking up again and watching me lower the drink. It is now three fourths drained.

"So?"

I admit I have no better comeback than that. I know I'm an idiot; you really don't have to say anything.

_(I wasn't going to.)_

For some reason this is funny and I smirk. The Spirit is being sarcastic. He hardly says much anymore. I think he gave up on me.

"What's funny?"

I realize Otogi doesn't know why I'm slightly grinning. I know something he doesn't. I almost don't want to enlighten him, just keep it to myself.

_(Don't worry, you can crow about your better self however much you want.)_

I grin at this too.

"My other self," I answer Otogi. He blinks slightly and seizes the tea pitcher.

"I think you need to take a lie-down or something," he informs me. I grimace as he dumps the container's contents into the sink.

"I just got out of school, it is _not_ time to sleep," I say stubbornly.

Otogi walks up to me and looks into my face. He doesn't seem too delighted or entertained. He looks like he's been thinking. It's fascinating. I didn't know Ryuuji could think.

Okay, that's just mean. Of course he thinks. He's a lot smarter than I am.

"You aren't going to find Kaiba in tea cup, Mahout. Or get away from him in one either," he warns, "Staying up and about all night long isn't going to help you. No one's going to feel sorry for your insomnia if you make it yourself."

I (for once) do not nod.

"Please move," I direct, attempting to stand. Otogi steps out of the way.

I stare up into Otogi's face since he's taller than I am. I frown at this and stand on a peach crate behind me that has been turned overturned. I bow till we are both eye to eye.

"Who cares about the caffeine? Really? It's your fault, that's the only reason it happens to trouble you, Ryuuji," I tell him softly.

Otogi's eyebrows crease in confusion, "Why did you just call me—"

"Shut up," I order impassively, "Just _shut up_, Ryuuji, please."

Otogi's face goes blank. He knows I'm insulting him, even if I'm not yelling profanities. I happen to know that things out of the norm tend to freak Otogi out, and he seems a bit nervous right now. I don't know how, but by standing on this peach crate, I am somehow coming off very intimidating. Maybe he's having flashbacks of my other self? Did they ever meet?

Otogi's expression forms a slightly livid aspect at last. He gives me an irate look before turning around and walking out.

"I don't care, I'm sick of apologizing anyway," he snaps, not watching me as he slams the exit behind him.

I hear Otogi slam the front room door on his way out as well. I'm jumping down from my crate and keep descending till I'm sitting on top, my arms folded over my knees as I try to think.

* * *

I've downed three cups of tea and have just purchased coffee from an all-night café down the street where corporate nobodys run to at all hours when writing business reports. My mind keeps jumping to the strangest topics. Did you know right in the middle of town, all roads leading in, the heart of Domino, the soul and life of the local economy, is Kaiba Corporation Headquarters?

Ever hear the expression, "All roads lead to Rome?" Well, all roads in this city lead to one massive building I've had the "treat" of entering. On the top floor of this place you can see almost everything. There are even super huge windows to accommodate the views. It's absolutely amazing. Every time you see a picture of Domino City on a postcard or a tour pamphlet, you see one tall building. This large structure, almost like a lucky four-leaf clover from the top perspective, is the main reason of existence for all of Domino past the fishing industry and gaming media.

Like I said, Kaiba Corp. It's very magisterial and almost frightening when you think about it, how one technology company has gone so far. Even harder for me to believe personally is I was on speaking terms with the CEO, and that the Kaiba heir kissed me. His authority, his name itself, makes you think you have to live up to some kind of expectation in their presence.

I'm really quite surprised no one was knocking on my door asking my name, telling me they're from the news, and having some questions about Kaiba and me as an "item." Either it was a very lucky twist of fate no one saw Kaiba and me together or someone's following me right now. Then, if I keep this avoidance of Kaiba up a future clipping in the paper will be "Seto Kaiba's Not-So-Secret Relationship in Troubled Waters."

Or, they will just assume I'm not important enough for a story. What am I to them if not with Seto Kaiba?

I'm really surprised this never came to me before. I was too busy paying attention to myself I guess.

That or my state of mind has been altered by right now.

See, currently I'm walking around Domino. No, really walking around. Before I kept very close to the park. Through the trees it was hard to see Kaiba Corp.

Now I'm not. Now I'm probably going to get myself lost.

I don't care. The city at night doesn't look so pretend and lifeless. I can see why the most impressive pictures of buildings are in the dark. During the day they are just so boring, each one a separate cell devoted to a different organization and business. At night you can't really see this. No, at night they are boundless pillars of light in the sky. You can see into the windows and the people there. You know there's life in the giant, emotionless buildings. In the dim they are more relaxed, willing to let some woman at her desk up there drop off and sleep for a few minutes before letting out a mute yelp and sitting back straight.

I find I love the artificial lights. At night you don't see the clouds of pollution or the ugliness of the large trucks puffing by. You just see the little hopes of brightness through a small square on the fifth floor of some low rent apartment. All those glass-covered openings, like stars with people inside them. It inspires one a little, even if the occupants of the heavens look as thought they rather be asleep, not trying to finish deadlines too long delayed, even if it was their own fault anyway.

Through my sudden interest with the spying on people, I notice some windows are easier to see than others. Some are tinted or covered in a blind, do not trust everything outside. I smile at these because I understand the feeling. I can hear them almost, telling me, "_Go to the circus if you want a light show. I have things to conceal and you shouldn't mess with what isn't of your concern_."

I laugh at them and nod my head in respect, letting them know I'm not interested in prying that much. No, I'm just glad to stand next to them and pat their walls, reassuring each no one's going to make them show anything they don't want to, that I see their logic. I tell them the only way to their great secret is to shatter their glass, but no one wants to hurt them like that. No, those people learn eventually that there is a such a thing as a front door and an invitation. If permitted, they're welcome to come in and see a few rooms, even if some of the hinges are a bit rusty. In fact, if they are willing to pay enough, they can take up residence and earn themselves a spot, a room, as pat of the entire setup.

I think that no matter how beautiful those lights are, I feel a personal attachment to the darker city gods, the ones covered over and dark. They are something I can relate to. You only notice them because they can never be truly invisible, but are easy to overlook. They _want_ to be overlooked anyway. They don't want everyone staring at them, critiquing their residents.

Ha, I'm starting to wonder how silly, perhaps crazy, I have become.

I don't pay too much attention to people on the street as I walk around, buy my coffee, and keep going. I don't need to. I know a few are looking at me as I slowly walk past. They see I'm holding a warm Styrofoam coffee cup, soaking with my coat sleeve the lava-like spurt from the hole on top. Yeah, I just squeezed too hard. Again. That spot in the lid (apparently to cool the beverage or something) is not too different from a volcano or maybe a geyser. I find it to be a slight annoyance till it dispenses enough liquid to not squirt any longer. Until then, I have to use my coat because, being a regular Sherlock Holmes, I forgot to grab napkins. I always do, it's one of those strange qualities I happen to possess, a tendency to overlook obvious details.

Finally, I sit down at a bus stop and look around. In the store window nearby a clock is glowing. It's almost one in the morning. I see this, I acknowledge the time, but I'm still not tired enough to want to go home. There's nothing back in my apartment, no interesting views. Well, no views I haven't already seen a million times from my windows.

No, I'm just here, at one of the many bus stops that no bus or taxi will be visiting till dawn when the inhabitants of the nearby apartment buildings have to get to their jobs early. I know there won't be many Kaiba Corp employees. The building is too close a walking distance to waste on bus fare. Nearby (okay, down a few blocks and out of my vision) is the train station. I suppose Kaiba Corp employees would get off there if they really aren't in this part of town. Preferably, people travel by train to places around here (the hospital and the airport for example) if they don't have a car or anything to take the roads. Yuugi-tachi seems to take things on foot rather nicely, though, since they don't travel too far. But, Honda always has that motorbike and Mai drives a car. Heck, Jounouchi has his delivery bike, too.

Funny all the directions my thoughts can go while sitting on an enclose bench with posters of current events and entertainments decorating the walls behind me. People are walking past, talking to their company, (or themselves, good thing I'm not that crazy). No one's come up to me and asked why I'm not at home; sleeping so I can wake up bright and early for school tomorrow. Like I said, the police here don't take curfew seriously and it's not like I'm acting very suspicious. Most people my age are easy to spot. They have Yuugi's hair or a bad attitude. I have none of these things. I am invisible.

No, I'm only counting cars as they drive by. I stand up and take another sip of warm coffee to bring the area around me back into focus. My head is getting heavier and my eyes are of a want to close. I knock back the last of the drink and now all that's left is a few mouthfuls that are too cold to bother with. I look around for a trashcan but don't see one. I would like to just drop my cup in the gutter and walk away, but littering isn't very good. I won't let myself do that. No. If I go, the cup comes with me.

I begin to walk aimlessly again. I dare myself which direction to go once I reach an intersection. I could cross the street to the left and continue towards where the arcade is located or cross the street in front and walk…somewhere. I could always go right too. To the right is Kaiba Corp.

A mean, sadistic part of my mind dares me to go to Kaiba Corp. I'm nervous at this before caving. I slowly walk to the right. In a few minutes I can see one of the four entrances to the building. I don't know what's so frightening as I stalk insignificantly beneath the tallest skyscraper in the city. Seto Kaiba has to be home by now. He would have gone to his mansion a long time ago as I discovered watching Mokuba. There's nothing to worry about. It's not like he's going to just appear, confidentially strolling from one of the doors only to see me and call security to lock me up in jail for the rest of the night for spying on him. I guess that would interest the reporters probably trailing me.

I sit down on the curb across the street, invisible besides a line of newspaper dispensers, and look up the building's sleek sides, reflecting the city lights. You can see into these windows after the tenth story or so where lights are on randomly. You can't see them during the day, but at night it's clear. Still, I almost have to lie down to see the roof, the top office.

I freeze, as there is a light coming from it. I can't see any people (come on, that has to be hundreds of feet up!) but it's glowing. I hope it's a janitor or something.

I sigh uncertainly. To relive my anxiety, I turn to a nearby street lamp. There are a few moths fluttering around.

"Good evening," I greet one politely as it comes nearer. It keeps flying about pointlessly, infatuated with the light.

"So, how are you?"

It still ignores me.

"Fine, hm?"

It flutters up to the light.

"Uh, I wouldn't do that if I were--never mind"

The moth just died. I grimace at this and look for something else to consider. Something less perishable.

"So, you're a beetle, how's that working out for you?"

The bug crawls into a crack and vanishes. I frown at it and how rude such an exit was.

"I think he's going to find Ringo and John," a voice comments. I jump and turn around quickly, looking at the person.

Seto Kaiba watches me back, smirking. His blue eyes, half veiled by the shadows, are noting my antics with interest. I blush and watch my feet, guilt trying to resurface.

"Sorry, Kaiba. I didn't know you were, uh, up so late…" I apologize hesitantly. Kaiba shrugs and continues to buy himself a paper, which is likely what he came down for. Or, it's his excused in case I do something stupid. I always do something stupid. He's learned how to maintain himself around it.

"Same here," he agrees, "What are you doing 'up so late,' Bakura?"

"Oh," I try to shrug, "I'm just roaming around for no reason whatsoever. You could call it a hobby."

Kaiba frowns slightly at this. "It isn't safe outside at night."

"That's what Otogi tells me…" I tell him. "But then, he's just a paranoid idiot. I'm mad at him."

Kaiba smirks again, "I guess it takes one to know one."

I smile a little at this.

"Hey, I didn't dare myself to come down here to have you make fun of me, too," I complain with mock offense.

"Why did you come anyway? Looking for me?" Kaiba asks, kidding. For some reason I blush and I barely manage another shrug.

"I don't know, I've never been here late before."

Kaiba shakes his head. "Disappointed?"

I blink in confusion, "Huh?"

"It isn't much, is it?" he asks, motioning towards the building. For some reason I notice his briefcase. It's metal and shiny, guarding its papers in itself with titanium enforced resolution. I don't know whether I should say something to his question. Some people ask things like that and want you to agree. Others want you to not agree and talk the subject down.

"Just a little bit," I reply quietly.

I'm happy as this causes Kaiba to smirk. I don't know why though. Here I am, talking with Kaiba like almost two weeks ago, before anything happened: After I started watching Mokuba and before Seto took Yugi to the theatre, in that happy time when I didn't really have that much of a crush on the businessman to really matter. I wish it were back to then so I could make sure none of these painful terrible things happened.

"Good answer," he compliments, sounding a bit rude like always.

"Heh, yeah…" I mutter.

I'm taken aback right now, a little offended, so forgive my lack of relaxation. It's just that so many people have told me Kaiba is suffering some kind of breakdown or what have you and it doesn't seem so. He appears so normal, so healthy and fine, and doing so very well.

Of course, maybe I made the mistake of thinking that he was anything like me. When I am having a breakdown, everyone knows. When Kaiba is, I dunno how anyone can even tell.

"Bakura, are you tired?" he asks quickly for what I think no reason at all.

"No."

"Come on," he motions, motioning to the entrance to the building's parking garaged that happens to be on this side of the street.

Kaiba doesn't believe me, and I don't know why. It is decided he has to drive me home in his car. I am more than willing to consent, and I don't know why about that, either. I admit that driving home with Kaiba is better than walking back through the "dangerous city." Otogi would be proud.

The tenseness from Kaiba's unexpected presence is starting to wear off as I get into the back of the car and Kaiba tells the driver where to go. I look out the window as the lights speed by so much faster than I could have walked. I wonder what a reporter following me would be writing. Maybe something like "Seto Kaiba's Secret Lover Revealed to be _Male_," or "Seto Kaiba and _Koibito_ Drive Off into Domino Night Together," both with large pictures on the front page of me and Kaiba talking. Every article afterwards would begin in _Seto Kaiba_. Otherwise, no one would see it. They may not even bother to print my name, of if they do, it will be something like "Bakura Ryou--whoever that is--a student at Domino High…etc…etc…blah blah blah".

I smirk at this slightly. I imagine people reading such a thing, hearing about it on the news. I can imagine devastated girls and young women; all shocked their idol is homosexual. I can also picture Kaiba being ridiculed, made a fool out of in the smallest things. I can believe people not wanting to work for him.

And I'm not supposed to worry about these things, am I? I don't think I should but it seems wrong not to.

I want to sigh. I'm not looking out the window anymore. I'm looking into blackness now. There are some red lights glowing and moving past. I can't make out what I'm seeing, though. Still, I'm not alarmed because the view is familiar. I can hear voices in my mind. They are calling me by Bakura.

Now it's one voice getting closer. With a "Ryou?" and a tap on the shoulder, I realize what I'm looking into, that the red light has stopped moving. I'm looking into my eyelids. My eyes are closed. I open them and look up at Kaiba who has been trying to wake me up.

"Sorry," I apologize before lifting my hand to stifle a yawn. Kaiba smirks and leans back, releasing my shoulder.

"I told you, you were tired," he says, triumphant.

I blush and open the door, stepping out silently.

"Thanks, I don't know how I could've walked," I say politely.

"Neither do I," he agrees, laughing a little. My mind is going to overlook the strangeness of that.

"G'night." I say and wave with my fingers quickly before closing the door and heading for the stairs.

I hike up to my apartment as Kaiba's car drives away. I'm somewhat happier and sleepier than usual. I didn't know Kaiba had this kind of affect on me. I can see how I've had so much to beat myself up about. Kaiba makes me feel good.

_(I'm not going to say anything except you're an idiot.)_

I grin at this. The Sennen Ring Spirit is silly now.

_(You are insane if you think I'm kidding.)_

* * *

Otogi is ignoring me. I noticed it this morning as I dragged myself into class five seconds before the bell rang. He wouldn't look at me or say anything. I didn't like it. I don't like it.

I'm afraid I lost Otogi just as I'm starting to get Seto back on a _casual_ basis. I wish everything were returned to normal like before. As I said: after I started watching Mokuba and before the whole theatre scene. Sure, I was a little depressed then, but I knew Kaiba, Otogi, and me where still talking. I realize only now that back then was great; that I shouldn't have been so drowned in myself as I had a goal. I was existing to help Kaiba get Yuugi and to talk to Otogi when I was bored or considerably blue.

I think I want to go to then. I don't want to be obsessing slightly with Kaiba and worrying about Otogi. I wasn't being too kind to him yesterday. Now I'm terribly sorry. I want to apologize, but Otogi is very good at blowing people off. Better than me, even. This morning I could hardly see him. He had an entire flock of girls around and acted like he couldn't see me, or feel when I tapped him on the shoulder.

He won't even let me say sorry. He won't even give me a single chance.

And now I'm watching him crossly from my bench under a tree. No one's sitting with me. Otogi is now talking with Yuugi-tachi and I've decided I'm not going over there. I know if I do he'll find some excuse to leave and that makes me tick.

_(Ha, so you'd rather sit alone? Nice choice.)_

I pull up a few blades of grass almost violently at this. I throw them down and turn to my book bag. I open it and remove some math homework. I hate math, all those numbers, but I need to concentrate on something. I know where Kaiba is, probably typing away on his laptop. He always is during break. He has the right idea: 'Do something productive.'

Yep, something productive. I can do that.

Sorry, doing something productive. Did you say something? Maybe it started with "ba?" Wait a sec, does the world "baka" mean anything?

You people are so rude. I'm trying to do my math here. You know, I don't have to narrate my thoughts for you so nicely.

Fine, you win. I'll stop talking to my audience.

Let's continue….

I'm busy erasing an entire equation as Kaiba comes up. What happened to productiveness? What happened to distance and sanity? Kaiba knows he's not supposed to approach me when people are watching. Everyone will start thinking things and I'll have to clear it up.

Still, maybe he's going past me. Maybe there's something in the tree he has to see or die?

Negative; he's stopped.

"Are you going to run away or can I sit down?" he asks. I blush at this and nod. Kaiba settles on the bench next to me, putting his briefcase by his feet.

"What are you doing?" he asks, looking at the paper, interested. Frankly, I don't care if he peeks at my homework--just not now while I'm considering his intentions and find them all the be bad omens.

"Homework," I answer, looking down at it, "I have _maybe_ five different assignments."

"And the day isn't even over yet!" he exclaims in mock anguish (well, the best he can come up with--I try not to wince). In my perch up in the sky watching this situation, I discover what Kaiba just said is unbearably _annoying_. And then, too busy trying to get all the numbers and problems out of my head, I'm obviously not paying much attention as I frown and flick my stubby excuse for a pencil into his hair.

"You're attacking me?" he inquires with a smirk, pulling my pencil from where it's got caught above his bangs. I'm trying not to doubt the logic behind finding it perfectly acceptable to throw something at him.

"Shouldn't you be on your computer tracking business investments or something?" I ask grinning. "Or has solitaire gotten boring?"

Kaiba chuckles in a small, nearly imperceptible way. Okay, maybe "chuckle" is too primitive a word, but he isn't really laughing. He's amused. The guy got to maintain appearances at school.

"You know me well," he says back, "And I thought no one knew. Are you going to blackmail me now?"

I blush and look back down at my work, sans a pencil. I run my finger over the edge of the book, feeling the memorized pattern of bumps in the cheap manufactured binding. I'm regretting everything I've said so far. Every word out of my mouth is embarrassing. I should stop talking.

I've considered taking a vow of silence. I wonder how that would work out?

"Are you planning on throwing that book at me next?" Kaiba asks, launching the pencil in the air and watching it land in the gutter of the text. I grab it and blush again.

"No." I shake my head as well. Kaiba is almost smiling at this embarrassment of mine. I strive for something else to say that I won't feel like a idiot fir. My eyes catch on the infamous briefcase again.

"So you actually play solitaire?"

Kaiba smirks at this. "No, taipei."

I blink at this, confused.

"And that's…?"

Kaiba looks at me disbelieving. So, I don't know, shoot me. I should be entitled to ask, right?

"It's like one person Mah Jongg, same matches with tiles, just without the gambling," he says slowly, waiting for my to chime in at any time and admit that, yes, I do know what he's talking about. He probably thinking I'm lying to him or just forgot.

I've heard of Mah Jongg. That's good. I don't really know what it is, but I've heard of it.

"Really? What's it played with?"

Kaiba looks at me in a slight awe, "You've never seen Mah Jongg tiles?"

I blush at this and observe my pencil, nodding. Past the name I know nothing. This is somehow shameful for me. Kaiba sighs at this and turns towards me.

"Well, it's a game with the same tiles as Mah Jongg. See, you match the different faces to their se--"

The bell rings and cuts Kaiba off. He glares at the school building annoyed, like this will make it fall down and apologize. Other students as one rise and start leaving to get to class. I mechanically begin packing my math away. I stand up, one of the last going. I turn in surprise to see Kaiba still there next to me. It's Thursday and today I have Ms. Teacher Lady for the final two hours with most of Yuugi-tachi and co. Seto has some kind of extra computer class I swear he teaches.

"I'll explain it tomorrow," he consoles, heading for his other class. I follow Yuugi and everyone to Ms. Teacher Lady's room. The Motou smiles slightly at me and I blush. That was probably the title discussion today: "Hey look, Bakura's talking to Kaiba!"

I can imagine so.

I wonder what they think?

No, on second thought, I _don't_ want to know what they think.

* * *

I have to learn more about Taipei and Mah Jongg.

I've discovered (much to my horror) in my game room I have no tiles that have to do with anything Mah Jongg. I thought I did since I have so much of a variety in there.

For this reason I am on my way to Motou-sama's game shop. He has pretty much everything there, and it's in walking distance.

I leave. I reach the shop. I enter. I don't expect anything.

And all the sudden my thinking stops. Something just happened.

"Hey!" I yelp, walking in. I look at the ground to see what just hit me in the forehead.

It's a die.

I look up at Otogi in the corner next to an M&G display. He doesn't look too happy and has more dice where the first came from. I watch him mutely. For some reason there is something imposing about a spiky-haired guy armed with little plastic dice. I don't get it. I guess he hits you just right you be stunned, but really. What are the odds of that in most defensive situations?

Of course, I was blacked out after a hit. Still don't know how the thing got past my bangs.

I decide I'm going to ignore Otogi. Calmly I walk into the shop further and begin my tile search.

"Good thing you're so worrisome and polite, Mahout, or I'd be in trouble. Looks like the infamous dice have no affect on you. …But then, maybe it's that thick skull, hm?" Otogi jokes coldly with an exaggerate grin and laugh. I'm not amused.

"A least it encompasses a decently size brain. Your head is mostly filled with ego," I reply in a similar tone. Of course, I should say it's milder.

Otogi laughs. There's an almost grim note to it.

"Not as big as Kaiba's," he smirks annoyingly. I frown as I locate the tiles for Mah Jongg. Why must Otogi be so difficult? If he's going to act like a jerk, I'd rather he'd just ignore me again like at school.

"You play Mah Jongg?" he sneers.

"No," I answer quietly. Otogi smirks _again_ as I walk up to the counter and ring the bell for service. I try to ignore him as I wait, but he doesn't want to make it easy for me at all.

"Yuugi saw you talking with Kaiba today. I do believe they all found it quite interesting."

I don't respond to this. I wonder what's taking the cashier so long? Is Motou-sama all right?

"I believe lots of people found it interesting actually."

I sigh and turn to Otogi at last, "You know what, I thought you wanted to help me. It doesn't sound like that's so. You can leave me alone now if you're going to be so negative."

"Oh, I'm not being negative. I'm just stating the truth for my quiet, conceited friend."

"I am not conceited," I argue, "how can you say that?"

"Fine," Otogi gives, "then you're self-oriented. All your thoughts and everything you do now are for Ryou Bakura. You didn't even congratulate Honda for getting a date with Shizuka yesterday."

I blink at him confused, "Shizuka agreed to go out with Honda? Well, good for him then."

Otogi smirks sadly at me and shakes his head, "See, you have no idea what everyone else is doing. I have to tell you so you don't make an idiot of yourself. Jounouchi doesn't even like me near Yuugi-tachi most of the time, and I know more than you do."

"What do you know I don't?" I ask stubbornly.

"I know the only day Honda's going to get a date with Shizuka is when hell hosts the Winter Olympics. I lied, Mahout."

It takes me a few seconds to realize what was just said. I begin to turn red from the indignity of the trick. Who does Otogi think he is, lying to me like that?

"Otogi, I--"

"Have an attitude problem?"

I scowl slightly, "I do not have an attitude problem."

"Figures," Otogi mutters. Before I can say a word in rebuttal, he walks across the room and exits the shop. I watch him go, still terribly confused. I want to say something, but I'm not used to this sort of a situation.

"Gomen, Bakura-san, I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long," Yuugi's grandfather apologizes, appearing behind the counter again.

"Uh, no, not at all," I assure him with a lie, placing the Mah Jongg set on the table. I'm still curious about Otogi. I know he's very angry with me but I'm not sure why. It can't be that whole crate thing. That was random. I got over it.

Either me being artificially taller than him was Otogi's worst nightmare, or there's something I'm missing here.

"Uh, is Yuugi home, Motou-sama?"

* * *

Yuugi is nodding. He has just heard about the entire mess with Otogi I'm having. I was afraid he'd side with the D-D-D inventor till he rolled his eyes at my recount of his behavior.

"Does Otogi usually just blow up like that, Bakura?" Yuugi asks

"Not that I can remember. I mean he gets annoyed, but it's never really too bad. He swore at a guy in the market once for knocking his basket over and had to be taken outside, but he was stressed that day."

Yuugi arches a curious brow at this, probably trying to imagine a fuming Otogi in a grocery store being taken to the parking lot before he caused a bigger scene.

"Maybe he's just tired of having to take care of you?"

I shake my head at this before I realize Yuugi's right. Otogi does seem to keep trying to look after me, like an annoying brother or something. I also see what Yuugi said can't be true.

I find this amazing too.

"No, he never really gets tired of that. Well, not until now…."

Yuugi grins slightly as a thought crosses his mind, "I think I know what's gotten Otogi so riled up."

"What?"

Yuugi smiles again, which I find irking.

"Are you forgetting Otogi? Are you ignoring him?"

I shake my head, "No, if anything, that's what he's been doing."

"Well, I think Otogi's mad at you then. He thinks you're forgetting him."

This makes no sense whatsoever to me. I'm not "forgetting" anyone, in fact, I'm worried.

"He's just protective, Bakura. He doesn't want to be overlooked," Yuugi almost laughs. I blink in disbelief.

"I had no idea Otogi was so selfish."

Yuugi nod in agreement, "I suppose selfish _is_ the word. He probably thinks Seto's going to turn you against him or something."

The complete absurdity of what Yuugi suggests makes me want to laugh as well.

"Yuugi, that doesn't make any sense!" I sputter out in exasperation.

"Bakura, I think you need to talk to Otogi. You'll see."

I frown as Yuugi gestures to the door for me to leave. He looks relatively pleased about something.

"Trust me, it's Otogi's problem."

I shrug uncertainly as I head out. I just think Otogi's being difficult to pay me back for the whole standing-on-a-peach-crate event. The strangest things bother him. It's better to say that than to admit I have no idea what's wrong.

* * *

I'm sitting on the before mentioned peach crate, waiting for Otogi to come over. He should be arriving any second. I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to say to him.

"Bakura? Where are you? You alright?"

I admit, I did lie; I must have exaggerated my anxiety or something. It doesn't matter, Otogi came over as soon as he could, didn't he?

"In the kitchen, Otogi."

I hear footsteps hurrying across the apartment. Otogi is here in less than a minute, looking around with an anxious expression. This, of course, drops as he sees me sitting down.

Let me tell you one thing, amusement is not the next expression down from anxiety.

"Just what the Hell are you planning, Mahout?"

Now, there are three circumstances under which Otogi calls me an Indian elephant driver. These are: a, when he's joking; b, when he's preventing himself from calling me Ryou (a distance thing); and c, when he's extremely disappointed or angry. When on c, _Mahout_ is an insult.

Of course, he usually puts a Baka Bakura there instead.

"I can leave," he suggests, watching me impatiently. Man, he looks 'cheesed off'.

"Don't," I order, standing up off the crate. Otogi watches silently as I walk over to him and drag him towards it instead.

"Go ahead, stand on it," I tell him. Otogi looks at me like I've gone insane.

"Why?"

"Please just do it?" I insist. Finally Otogi relents with a sigh and steps up. His hair is nearly brushing the ceiling he's so tall.

"Now tell me what's wrong," I order, sitting a distance away on the counter next to the sink. Otogi looks at me _again_ like I've lost my mind.

"This is weird," he mutters, looking round the room.

"Well, that's a unique start, but I'm okay with it."

Otogi looks at me with a slight grin at my annoyingness (is that a word?).

"You're a baka," he smirks. I nod slowly, contemplating the remark.

Sorry, Otogi, I already knew that one. I tell it to he mirror every morning.

"You have a super large self-obsession, a pathetic addiction to caffeine, and you foolishly believe you don't need any help because, again, that ego."

"Do I?"

"Yes, you have Seto to take care of things now."

The statement surprises me. I can only blink back inanely at Otogi, which must seem annoying. Only one word crosses my mind after this.

Huh?

"Otogi, I'm still not with Kaiba. I don't think I ever will be."

I'm pretty sure Otogi is going through the same "huh?" thing as myself as his face goes slightly blank. Slowly he begins to smirk. In seconds he's smiling, which leads to laughter as he jumps off the crate.

Uh, is he laughing at himself or me?

"We're both idiots," he announces. I shake my head at his ridiculousness.

"What, did you think I'd abandon everything for Seto Kaiba?" I ask accusingly. Otogi's grin flickers slightly and I know the answer.

Yes, he did. He thought I was that insecure and desperate. I'll just fly from person who takes care of me to the other. I don't care who, I just need someone to hold my hair when I throw up and tell me when I'm being an idiot. Anyone can do that, can't they?

I admit, it's disappointing, but he's been corrected.

"I just don't want anything to happen to you, Baka Bakura," he says, "Your thick skull can't save you from everything, you know."

I scowl slightly as he ruffles my hair, reminding me of the time he attacked when Kaiba visited. That was embarrassing.

I assure you, my appreciation for this act of camaraderie hasn't grown since then.

"I understand, but believe me, Otogi, you have nothing to worry about. You know I'll never have Kaiba"

"Awe, not with that attitude you won't. Never fear, I'll have him for you in no time."

I frown at this offer and how it references to Kaiba as not really being a human being. He's just that 'thing' I want right now and that Otogi will go fetch for me.

"Ryuuji, Seto Kaiba's not a pet. You don't understand. He'll think I'm crazy, a complete idiot."

"So, all you have to do is sweep a few things under the rug and—"

I cut him off, slightly appalled at his easiness. "Otogi, relationships aren't based on secrets and the avoidance of very important details."

"Many lasting ones are." Otogi remarks, shrugging and picking keenly at a hangnail. I sigh loud enough to cause him to look up.

"Otogi, that's only because those people are paranoid in the first place. You don't see. I need you to understand that I don't want Kaiba because I want Kaiba. He's not a puppy. I just think about him constantly because for some reason I can't help it. You I know he's not a magic cure that will make my life perfect; and he's far from it. I'm still going to need idiots like you to remind me I'm being an idiot."

Otogi grins deviously like this was exactly what he wanted to hear. I wouldn't be surprised if he faked being angry at me and everything just to get me to the place where I would tell him anything. Now, with a sarcastically shrewd manner, he leans forward, looking me in the eye.

"Then why _do_ you care, Mahout? About Kaiba?"

I admit, it's a bit nerve raking. Otogi is balancing jest and sincerity in his demeanor. I don't know whether to take him seriously or kick him and laugh. I don't want to answer his question. I don't think I have an answer. Still, it's Otogi, and he's got to trust me again. I've got to say something. After some thinking and soul searching and everything I think will help, I give up.

"I don't know why. I guess it's just him, something about Kaiba has gotten to me."

If possible, Otogi's grin widens. It's almost kind of scary.

"I think you need to tell him that then."

I shake my head, dismayed, "How? It's an awkward thing to say."

"I can arrange something?" he suggests again.

"Otogi…"

For the second time I've heard, Otogi sighs like I'm amusingly hopeless, a demanding hassle he has to deal with, "Mahout, I'm not going to just throw him into your arms, as it obviously doesn't work. I've tried. I can just make sure you get to really talk to him, so even if you're scared out of your mind you can't run."

I'm slightly interested at this. Force myself to talk with Kaiba? Oh god, it sounds like hell.

"Well, what is it?" I ask, giving up. I slump over in resignation and wait.

* * *

**Notes:  
**A: Not in chapter One more chapter left!

**Translations:  
**Bakatare – (adj?) Fool; stupid. Kind of like, "You idiot, what an idiot (baka)." _Baka_ is a fool; _bakatare_ is telling a person they're a fool. It describes all the "geniuses" in this chapter. There's also a coarser term for the same word; _bakayaro_, but I didn't think that was really necessary.

Yes, Ryou tries to hide it, but we know he still has issues. No amount of city walking is going to cover those up.

In other news, I haven't finished Harry Potter yet.

I most likely will not update next week. See, everyone's going on vacation and I figured I should too.


	15. Aquarium Part 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh.

The pairings introduced right now:  
Anzu/Yami no Yuugi  
Jounouchi/Mai

The crushes introduced right now:  
Ryou/Seto  
Ryou/Lobster

Gomen, this wasn't beta-read. Sorry beta's.

* * *

**Chapter de Fifteenth: Aquarium Part 1**

I'm only here because Otogi told me to come.

Again.

I am only here because Otogi told me to come.

Repeat.

I'm only here because--

"Hey, Bakura, how long do you plan on standing there doing nothing? Fyi, we're kind of leaving now."

"Sorry, Jounouchi!" I quickly apologize, hurrying after Yuugi-tachi. I'm following them now. This isn't as bad as I make it sound, really. I'm just a bit frustrated Otogi isn't here yet.

"So, which way is the aquarium again?"

"Jounouchi, you're the one with the map. You tell us."

Yuugi-tachi sighs at Jounouchi's wonderful directional sense. The blonde sweat drops nervously and begins trying to orient our location with the nearby street signs.

"Where's Otogi?" Yuugi asks. I look around and shrug.

"He said he'd be there with the lobster--"

"Maybe he actually _knew_ where the aquarium was, unlike this idiot leading us!" Honda growls, jumping for the map in Jounouchi's hands.

"Oi, hands off! I'm reading this," Jounouchi snaps, looking back down at the paper.

"The dog reads? Wow, I'm impressed."

I recognize that cold, calculating voice behind me (how many times am I going to say that till I realize everyone knows who I'm talking about?).

"Who asked you, Kaiba?" Jounouchi snaps.

"No one. I'm merely making an observation. Is that a crime?"

Jounouchi scowls at this, but still attempts to remain calm for my sake. It looks painful. "Well keep it down. I'm trying to think."

"The dog thinks?"

"DDIIIEEEE!" Jounouchi finally snaps, lounging at Kaiba, and flailing the map around like a flag. Kaiba just sneers as Honda and I hold our friend back.

"Jounouchi, please," we plea. I know my little strength is going to give out soon if Jounouchi doesn't stop resisting.

Finally, Jounouchi just as suddenly decides Kaiba isn't really worth his time and cools down. Honda and I release his arms cautiously, ready to reapply our restraint should Kaiba continue egging Jounouchi on.

"What do you want, Seto?" Yuugi asks casually, like Jounouchi almost going on a rampage didn't just happen. Of course he wouldn't really notice, he didn't have to hold anyone back.

"I just saw you were walking around behind the puppy with the map and figure you were lost. Jounouchi obviously has no direction sense."

"_BAS_TARD!"

With this new war cry, Jounouchi leaps at Seto, fists thrashing around in an odd frenzy. Honda and I can only watching in horror, waiting for the moment to close our eyes if one of the two went down.

"JOUNOUCHI!" Yuugi calls too late. He's reduced to the same state a Honda and myself, waiting and afraid.

Seto merely watches the tornado of furry speeding at him and steps aside. The rest of us take the cue to cringe and mutter as Jounouchi runs fists and head first into a tree. I wonder if this offends the tree.

"Are you okay?" Yuugi asks nervously as Jounouchi falls to the ground, stunned at the solidness of his opponent; the ancient city tree trunk.

"You really ought to look where you're going, idiot," Seto advises coldly. I frown at this. I see no reason why Seto should be so scornful of Jounouchi and have to needlessly provoke him. Sure, the guy's a bit emotional about things and overlooks the thinking first stradgey of problem solving, but he's really not pathetic.

"Say what you have to say Seto, or beat it," Jounouchi growls.

"Very well, if you really want to know, I was curious as to where all of you were headed so long and aimlessly," he says. "It looked like you were lost."

"We were doing perfectly well on our own," Jounouchi snaps, now feeding his insults off of Kaiba's. I see this is going to go to only get worse.

"Please," Yuugi sighs for me. "Will you two stop it? We're trying to get to the aquarium today."

Seto perks his attention slightly at this. I can't say why. Regardless of most people's beliefs, mutually liking someone does not mean reading each other's minds follows.

"Fine, then I'll save you all from this untrained puppy," Seto sighs, like we've asked hima nd he's doing us a favor. "The aquarium is down the block a bit, to the left," he looks at Jounouchi, "_not _the right."

Amazingly, Jounouchi shows a bit of self-control and keeps himself from screaming and attacking. The look I'm giving him begs him not to.

"I know that, Kaiba," Juonouchi growls. Kaiba just looks like he doesn't believe him, which is insult enough because if a genius doesn't believe you then you must be wrong.

"Let's just go," Honda (the genius) suggests with feigned optimism, though he sounds a bit nervous at what Jounouchi might do. He grabs his friend and proceeds in dragging him in course to Kaiba's directions. I follow nervously with Yuugi, not wanting to look at what Kaiba might be doing behind me. I don't want to know if he's walking with us or away. I just have to follow Yuugi-tachi.

All of us walk into the aquarium to find Otogi. Yuugi and the others, taking this mainly as a field trip of sorts, split up. I slowly realize I'm left by myself because it turns out Seto did not follow.

"Hey, over here!" I hear Otogi call, "What took you so long?"

I look over to Otogi with the lobster in a small tub of a tank. I don't know why he agreed to bring it here, as he dislikes all lobster equally by now. I find this funny. Otogi is holding tub as far away as he can without tipping it over. This burden is almost instantaneously transferred to me as I'm noticed. Until now I didn't realize just how heavy water is, and I am forced to be a little impressed with Otogi.

"Sorry it took so long. We've discovered Jounouchi can't navigate his way out of a paper bag," I quickly explain, short on words with how obscenely heavy the lobster's little tub is and my struggle to keep it up.

"Figures," Otogi says, looking around for where everyone else went to. He soon realises I am alone and frowns.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I ask, slightly surprised at Otogi's sudden resentment of Jounouchi in my presence. For a while he's been really good about not getting onto the guy's case at my request.

I assume Otogi's just annoyed from having to carry the lobster. It's his fault; he volunteered.

"Jounouchi's not all that intelligent, Mahout," Otogi tells me.

I feel so sorry for Jounouchi. So many people don't like him. It's sad. My only comfort is that Jounouchi seems to sort of revel in being mutually hated.

"So, how did you guys finally wrestle the map from him?" Otogi asks. I have to sigh at this. It is truly the worst question he could have chosen so suddenly. He's asking to be amusing, but there is little amusing about the answer.

"We didn't," I reply slowly, readjusting my grip on the tank. The lobster snaps at this, annoyed. I don't look as Otogi as I continue in one quick breath, "Seto Kaiba came up and gave us directions."

"What?" Otogi asks, confused some, but grinning at what he thinks he heard.

"Seto Kaiba gave us directions."

"And Jounouchi's still alive?"

"Otogi…."

"Okay," he relents. "But, what were _you_ thinking during this, hm, Bakura?"

I frown again but cannot take action due to the weight in my arms. I am reduced to a mere glares. The dangerous nature of this expression is just less than the immediately danger felt in the presence of a rubber duckling. My disadvantage: I do not emit a high, wheezy squeak when squeezed that can occasionally startle a few timid house pets.

Or, at least I don't think I do. I can't say I've ever really been squeezed before, particularly near house pets.

"How about you go find Yuugi-tachi," I suggest, desperately needing to change the subject, "And I drag this monster off to the lobster…people…watchers…whatever…."

Otogi shrugs because he doesn't know what you call them either. He does exactly what I tell him, and once again I'm left alone with my soon to be former lobster.

Said lobster is currently snapping at my arm. I think he knows I'm not taking him home. I can't tell if he's happy or angry about it.

"You know, you still don't have a name," I say, walking to one of the lobster tank areas where I'd been told to be earlier on the phone. I have to wait for some aquarium personnel to realize I'm here before the lobster goes. Till then, it won't hurt to suffer a bit of reflection and conversation.

"Do you even want one?" I ask. The lobster doesn't seem to think much of it. He doesn't bother with a no or a yes.

"I really hope you aren't too mad about this whole moving to the aquarium thing. The conditions are better here, and there are other lobsters. You'll like it."

The lobster sends up a few disbelieving bubbles at this. I don't see what he wouldn't like about this place, it's a lot nicer than the bathtub. The end was always meant to be like this from the start. It was simply too difficult for me to take care of him, what with regulating the water temperature every time I came home and making a mess of that expensive aquarium salt and equipment? It wasn't easy and I couldn't afford everything. So, not only would the aquarium tanks be better, they would also not cost me anything, which is important when you live alone like I do. The people here _wanted_ to take the lobster out of my hands for it's own safety.

"You'll thank me later. This place is great."

My soon to be former lobster flexes his claws. I have no idea if this is supposed to mean anything, but it looks a bit on the lines of disagreement.

"Awe, c'mon, whose ever heard of a shy lobster? You can't be serious."

In reply, the crustacean propels himself to the side of the tub farthest from the lobster tanks.

"Seems someone's made up their mind."

I duck my head at Kaiba's voice. I'm probably hoping this will in one way or another make me invisible or somewhat less conspicuous. Don't mind me, I am a fixture at the exhibit and only happen to resemble Ryou Bakura close up. At a distance, I appear to be a cut out of a beluga whale. Please, scurry along and don't question this.

Needless to say, it doesn't work. Kaiba is still here and waiting for a reply.

"The lobster's just being difficult," I tell him slowly, watching the ugly creature in the tank swim up.

"Yes, probably doesn't care what happens to itself."

I frown slightly. I care what happens though. That has to count.

"This is the best place for him," I tell Kaiba, still not looking at his face. Kaiba shrugs at me, which demeans me far more than words ever could. I'm awed that he doesn't even have to speak to make me feel bad. However, speak he does to make it all worse.

"But why now? Why not two or three weeks ago?"

I shrug now, which has none of the same effect as Kaiba's. "I'm lazy."

"Or you unreasonably care for a lobster."

Kaiba's mind reading skills could annoy me very quickly, but I won't let it. It's a freakish talent. I should feel very sorry for him instead.

"Well, isn't that the point to having a pet?" I ask, "I mean, for what other reason would someone take care of some kind of animal if it didn't mean something to them?"

"So I take it you don't want let the lobster to go?"

I never really considered this. Yeah, I can believe that Kaiba's right. I don't really want to just give up the lobster so easily. But, that's life. Some of the most difficult things happen with the simplest ease. At other times, impossibly easy things are dragged out into long and bitter struggles because I'm an idiot. That's the only reason I've got.

"I have to," I say, deterring the blame and guilt of letting the lobster go by making myself the victim.

"But if there was another way, you'd keep him, perhaps."

I would glare at Kaiba, but he's not really reading my mind and steal my thoughts. I'm just incredibly predictable. "Yeah, I probably would," I sigh and admit. "He's awfully annoying most of the time, and a bit of a hindrance, but I suppose I'd keep him."

"Really…." Kaiba says to fill conversational space then this leave himself with the last work me looking like an idiot who has nothing to say for himself. I could thrown in an killer comeback like 'mh-hm' or 'yeah', but I don't. In my mind I know he's probably thinking about how insane I am and congratulating himself for not falling for me like an idiot. This makes me feel he deserves the last word as a reward for all of his new wisdom.

What makes this whole lobster thing an interest to Kaiba anyway? Maybe because it shows how far gone I really am and that amuses him. Probably he's realized that he wasn't in love with me, just mixed it up with how amusingly insane I am.

"Bakura, if you really don't want to give your lobster up to the aquarium I'll take it."

I blink at this, perfectly taken aback. What?

"Why?"

"Well, what else are you planning to do with it?" he says and shrugs again, casually, like it's nothing but the quickest solution. I try to think what his intention for the lobster might be.

"You aren't going eat him, are you?" I ask, alarmed.

Kaiba smirks at this. In fact, he comes the closest to an actual laugh I've ever heard.

"No, you idiot. I'm planning a salt-water aquarium for the mansion. Lobsters are salt-water creatures, yes?"

"Well, yes, they are, but wouldn't that cost a lot?"

Kaiba arches a brow/ "Your point being?"

I realize the idiocy of my question. Money isn't too much of an issue for Kaiba is it? He's likely installing a saltwater aquarium just for the sack of burning some cash.

"But why?"

Kaiba shrugs again, "Well, the lobster seems to mean a lot to you and you'll know where it is."

I notice the lobster begins tapping on the tub in the direction of Kaiba, as though agreeing to and preferring the CEO's idea. I'm a little offend at my traitorous pet.

"And, if the lobster likes to be by himself, there won't be any others but the appropriate fish."

The lobster is still motioning in Kaiba's direction. I have to agree at last. For the lobster's sake.

"Sure, Kaiba, you can keep the lobster. in fact, I think he wants you to have him."

"I think you want me to have him too," Kaiba adds. "It's better than the aquarium."

I nod and the lobster makes a happy splash. It better be a happy splash. I am doing it no more favors, so help me.

"Now, how do you plan on taking him home?"

* * *

"Look, he's behind the rock over there."

"I don't see him. You better not be lying, Mokuba. If you try to tell me the rock is a lobster one more time, I'll--never mind. He's moving."

"See, would I ever lie to you, Bakura?"

"Well, earlier you did--"

"That's not the point. I pointed him out, didn't I?"

I sigh lightly as arguing with a Kaiba is completely pointless and will remain pointless for the rest of their natural lives. The glass of the fish tank fogs up slightly and distorts the view. I quickly wipe it away and back a bit farther from the surface. I really don't need to press my face into the glass to see a few hundred fish and a lobster.

"This tank is huge," I awe again at the size. When I don't know what to say, I repeat that and all my questions about the tank. Cut me some slack, though; that tank's pretty cool. It's like you are starting into a giant window of the bottom of ocean with more fish than I could ever happily count swimming past aimlessly. I can't even guess how much Kaiba paid for the tank. The only reason I don't feel guilty is because he did say it had all been in planning anyway, and the Kaibas clearly have the money for this kind of thing. I admit, my lobster is an awkwardly unattractive add-in, but he can luckily be confused for a rock, as Mokuba already demonstrated.

"Did it really take only three days to install?" I ask again.

"Well, on Saturday when Seto brought your lobster half the fish were already in the water. It isn't finished completely, though. A few of the plants are coming and a couple more fish. But, this tank is all right for the lobster. There aren't any natural predators or anything."

"You mean besides people?" I grin.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure no one eats the lobster. I dunno, it's something about that one that doesn't make you want to see it broiled. Maybe it's because it means something to you. That's just odd, you know. You look at the lobster and it just comes to mind, 'Hey, someone actually cares about that hideous five pounds of seafood.' I mean it's kinda strange."

I grin at this. "Wow, I didn't know I had so much power. I will always be remembered for a lobster. I'm honored."

"Well, I think you're insane, but Seto was careful with it. He was threatening the people setting stuff up within an inch of their lives if they messed up and killed the lobster. That happened to some of the fish. They went belly up because those guys put them in the water too soon. They were expensive too."

"What did Kaiba do?" I ask, slightly curious.

"Ordered more fish to take their place, what else?"

"Oh. That makes sense." I nod, as the lobster walks toward us. It begins scraping at the glass near my arm with its antenna.

"I guess this place is better than the apartment, yes?" I ask it. The antenna nod at this and I grin. "It's a good thing you didn't forget how to swim. You where hardly submerged in the bathtub."

Meanwhile, Mokuba is watching like I've lost my mind.

Well, I might just be looking a bit creepy right now.

"I know people talk to their pets and all, but watching you talk to a lobster; that's weird."

I understand his concern. I mean, it's a lobster.

"Sorry," I apologize, "I have to get home anyway; homework."

"But Seto hasn't come back yet, don't you want to talk with him?"

"I talked to him at school today, he invited me over to see the fish tank. I've seen the tank and I'm happy with it. You can tell him that when he comes home," I reply, grabbing my book bag. I came here right from school by taxi just to avoid Kaiba. The key is to arrive early and leave early. I'm in and out without any awkward interruptions and confrontations. That, and a honestly do have an obscene amount of homework.

_(I can't believe you're scared of Seto Kaiba.)_

I'm not scared. I just don't want to be here when he comes back.

_(Oh, you're terrified then.)_

"Er, I really gotta leave."

Mokuba frowns at this. I don't feel very bad for him and look for where my book bag is. Suddenly, for no reason, he smiles. I'm scared of it because a Kaiba smiling is a bad omen. Why is he so happy? What is he about to do?

"You can't do your homework if you don't have it with you," he announces. It takes me a few seconds to sort what that means. Before I even know where to look, he's taken my book bag and is running.

"Hey!" I yell, hurrying after him. Mokuba is making good time ahead of me and I can hardly keep up. I follow him around the mansion, but after one lap I can no longer take a step. Breathing heavily, I'm reduced to leaning against the wall as he disappears from sight. Now it's hide-and-go-seek and I'm not in the mood.

_(You are pathetic.)_

I am not. I'm just not very athletic, that's all.

_(And that is what makes you pathetic.)_

"Mokuba!" I call out. Beside a constant echo, there is no response. I sigh, naturally, as my grade just ran off in the arms of a deranged Kaiba. I turn around, heading back the way I came. I pause at the door to the room with the fish tank and enter.

The lobster is somewhere inside, I know. I look around for him quietly. It seems he's under a rock or behind some vegetation. The ugly, buggy body isn't anywhere.

"Where are you?" I ask, walking up to the glass.

The lobster avoiding me is a lot more annoying when he can hide also.

I decide I'm going to leave. There is no way I'll look for a lobster or hunt down my book bag till Kaiba comes back. I know Mokuba and the lobster are in cahoots, they assume I'll stay if given some sort of incentive.

Unfortunately for them, they underestimate the enormity of my desire not to be in proximity of Seto Kaiba right now. Nothing short of my imminent death will keep me here to await the end of the world.

"Where are you going?" Mokuba asks, having already hidden my books. I'm heading for the front door.

"To get a taxi," I tell him, turning the knob. Mokuba frowns at this, but has nothing left to bribe me with.

"I'll burn your textbooks!" he threatens pointlessly.

"Go for it," I shrug, continuing down the drive. Mokuba isn't happy with this inability to care.

"Argh!" he sighs before he turns back inside. I'm soon out the gate and heading for the corner, flagging down a taxi.

* * *

"You _have_ money for a trip across town?"

I blink stupidly at the driver for a few seconds before realizing his question. For a few seconds, I'm scared I left my money in my bag. I slowly remember the bills in my pocket and pull them out. Every single one goes to the ride. For this whole trip I'm broke.

I bet Kaiba never finds himself in this kind of situation.

I'm quickly reduced to glazing almost mornfully out the window contemplating my spending money as the taxi makes its way down the street. Up a ways, heading the opposite direction, is a very distinctive limousine.

I duck for no reason whatsoever.

I must look paranoid right now. I'm happy that the driver's too busy watching the road to notice. That's a good thing.

I've missed Kaiba's return home by less than eight minutes.

That was too close.

I timidly peek over the glass, watching the car continuing on in the opposite direction. Slow and ominous, the large vehicle pulls up to the gate of the Kaiba mansion, enters, and disappears. Once it's gone I'm slightly comforted with the fact I actually know where Kaiba is right now. It's getting odd for me these days. I'll walk down the street wondering if the billionaire is going to pop up again. Sometimes I want him to show, other times it's a test of will that I even got past my front door. I never know where he is or where he's gong to be and it always catches me off guard no matter what.

"Your stop, kid," the driver calls, motioning to the door for me to get out. I look out the window and see the apartment complex looming overhead. Suddenly my level seems so far up. The elevator has been out of service for two months and I still haven't gotten used to the stairs. It's almost pathetic.

Well, on the bright side: I don't have to drag my book-bag up today.

I thank the driver and close the door. He doesn't really care. He drives away to go find another client. My thanks doesn't count for much, I'm sure, just my money. All that poor money.

_(A bit cynical, are we.)_

I frown as I make my way up the staris. The spirit is right though; I am being a bit harsh these days. I'm not looking forward to reaching my apartment. It's quiet up there, and lonely. The lack of sound actually gives me a headache, though I've heard for most other people it's vice versa. Without anything to work on the feeling can only get worse. Most days I can concentrate on schoolwork for hours to avoid a throbbing skull. While here, the lobster was always making noise, and I had to spend so much time monitoring his living conditions when I was home. Now it feels as though I have nothing to do because that is exactly it. I drag myself upstairs to finish my homework only to afterwards merely exist for a few hours till I prepare to go to sleep. I hate those few hours with nothing in them. I never noticed I had so much time so awkwardly in the middle of my day until I gave Kaiba my lobster. Stupidly, I already promised Yuugi-tachi I wouldn't go walking all over Domino at odd hours after Otogi told them about it. Otogi only did that to give me a reason to stop drinking caffeine like some kind of sleep-hating weirdo. You could say it's worked; I haven't had tea, or coffee or anything like that for almost a week (well, more like five days). So, I'm improving.

I'm not sure I want to improve though. I don't like headaches at all.

"Excuse me," a small man apologizes, walking past me down the stairs with about fifty books in his arms. I stare at him stupidly before moving aside into a door alcove. I look at the door number casually and yelp.

I'm two levels higher than I should be. That's what I get for letting my thoughts wander. It's sort of a moment when I doubt just how invested I am with all that's going on around me.

Well, at least it's easier going downstairs than up.

I turn around and follow the man with the books down two flights. This takes a while as he is being overly cautious. The books look about ready to fall as I finally open the door to my hall. Without any further interruptions and making sure to count the numbers as they pass, I am quickly to my apartment door.

"Oh, no…." I mutter as my left hand stops instinctively reaching in my pocket, pulling out lint and a coin. I nervously reach for the other pocket to find pretty much the same there.

Oh, this is great. I have no money and I'm locked out of my apartment. This is wonderful….

_(You are a baka.)_

Well, thanks for reinstating the obvious there.

_(You're welcome.)_

I frown at the door, not at all happy with how well it's doing its job. The wooden panel separates me from my room and my possessions. My little pocket money is inside. I could go to the bank, but that would require a taxi. I can't pay for that.

"Stupid door," I whimper, trying the knob to no avail. Of course I locked it. I always lock it. I check it ten times before I leave to make sure I lock it.

_(Oh yes, insult an inanimate object, you must've hit a nerve with that one. Awe, look, I think you hurt the door's feelings.)_

"Shut up!" I snap, kicking the wood and stubbing my toe.

_(Just so you know, yadonushi, I didn't feel that.)_

I frown at this. The air seems to be heating up and it isn't helping my mood. The spirit has decided he wants to annoy me and now isn't a great time. I'm busy being angry at a door, thank you.

I pull at the knob again in a vain attempt to see if it feels like breaking off. Unfortunately it doesn't.

_(Baka.)_

I sigh and give up, leaning against the wall and sliding down to the floor. I realize I could go to the lobby to get another key, but I'm too tired. I want to go inside now just to be there. At first I hadn't even wanted to come upstairs. The irony is so unfair. I dragged myself all this way just to realize my key is in my book bag.

"Bakura, you all right? Why are you sitting out here in the hall?"

I shake my head quickly to clear it of the clouds of frustration and depression fogging my outlook on the world and life in general. As quickly as I can, I turn my head up to Otogi. I've never been so happy to see him.

"Otogi! It's wonderful you're here. I don't have my key."

Otogi looks at me confused, "Where's your key?"

"In my book bag," I shrug. "But you have one, you can open the door."

"All right, but where's your book bag?" he asks, pulling out the key I gave him so long ago. I make some formless gesture akin to a shrug but not quite. It's more guilty than a shrug, more elusive and ashamed of itself.

"At Kaiba's."

I can tell Otogi is grinning even if I don't see his face. His voice is surprisingly calm though, as he asks about that as well, "How come your stuff is at Kaiba's?"

"I went there after school to see his aquarium." I say, gleefully rushing inside and taking off my shoes. For some reason this simple task has become surprisingly difficult and is taking forever.

"And you figured you'd have Kaiba help with your assignment? I like how you think, Bakura."

I shake my head, successfully removing one shoe while replying, "No, I didn't see Kaiba."

Well, that is true. I saw the limousine car, not Kaiba.

"Then how'd you manage to leave everything? You didn't panic and run away again, did you?"

"No," I snap a bit too soon. I pause to collect myself. "Mokuba took my stuff and ran."

Otogi stops to think about this, "Yeah that _does_ sound like the kid. What do you think provoked him?"

"Otogi," I sigh, "Mokuba's not some kind of wild animal."

"Really? Are you sure?"

I frown at this, intentionally not grasping the joke. Otogi grins at my annoyed expression before continuing.

"Fine. But, Mokuba had to have some kind of incentive."

I look down at the carpet, biting at my lip. Otogi waits patiently for the answer. He knews I will give it. If a person stares long enough to me, I may just tell them everything.

"He wanted me to stay and talk with Kaiba."

"Then you lied," Otogi says. "You did run away."

"No, I didn't."

"Then what do you call making a break for it within ten minutes of Kaiba's return home?"

That's errily close to the actual eight. I don't think I should tell Otogi that, though. It wouldn't make him an more forgiving.

"Well…."

"Mahout, you have got stop doing that, or you'll get nowhere. You were getting along great with Kaiba before."

"Yeah, before he said he loved me. That changes things."

Otogi rolls his eyes at this, turning on the light ahead of me. I think my feet must've grown since I can't seem to get my shoes off.

"Here, Bakura," Otogi sighs turning around and lowering to grab my foot, "You're making this a lot more difficult that it really is."

In mere seconds the shoe is off. I just stare at it as Otogi stands and holds out a hand to help me up. I take it and look for my house slippers.

"You aren't going to have trouble with those, too, are you?" Otogi asks with a slight smirk as I put my slippers on.

"Ha. Ha. Ha." I say sarcastically and make a face. "What did you come over for anyway?"

"I wanted to see where you were," he shrugs. I notice he's heading for the door again.

"You're leaving?" I ask, confused, "So soon?"

"Yeah," Otogi nods, "I don't have a lot of time today."

"Oh," I say slowly, "Bye, then."

"Yeah," Otogi replies quickly, leaving. I understand though…I think. Otogi tends to procrastinate horribly and at the end of the month he has too many deadlines. To complete these Otogi will actually cut off his social life, which I find a bit odd. He'll somehow put everything on hold outside of his work and then just come back when he's done.

I'm assuming it's so now. I'm hoping it's so now, not some clandestine reason everyone knows about but me.

Of course, I wouldn't say no to a Do Ryou's Homework Party in the works. I'd love to walk into the room and have people jump out with a little 'Ta-da! We finished all of your assignments, Bakura. Yay!'

But, judging by the stillness of the apartment, I pretty sure that isn't going to happen today. Unless a Kaiba tells me where my book bag is, I will remain not only without my work, but also my paper and pens and all those little school supply necessities. I am not about to go to Kaiba's and hunt down everything.

On the bright side (I notice I tend to point this out more often--like someday I'll believe it), I have my uniform still, right?

* * *

**Notes:**

N/a

You know you need help when: You don't update a nicely reviewed fic for almost two months.


	16. Homework Part 2

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yugioh.

The pairings introduced right now:  
Anzu/Yami no Yuugi  
Jounouchi/Mai

The crushes introduced right now:  
Ryou/Seto

Sorry for this chapter ending. I don't know if I can go back and work on "Die" unhindered from now on….

* * *

**Chapter de Fifteenth: Homework Part Two**

It's awkward, going to school without my book bag. I feel like I'm forgetting everything. Maybe I'll get in trouble? Without any paper, pens, folders, or notes, I don't really have much of a defense for being accused of being unprepared for class. The teacher won't like it at all. That, or she will be ecstatic to punish me for something. She's sadistic like that, I've noticed.

"Hi, Ryou!"

I smile politely. "Hello, Yuugi."

"Whoa, Bakura, you look different," Anzu observes because it's so easy to forget how perceptive she is. "Did you get a haircut or something?"

"No," I say a little nervously.

"But something…something's not the same…."

"Where's your book bag?" Yuugi, the genius, finally asks. I grin more nervously, grabbing my neck as if that helps.

"Um…somewhere…else?"

"What? Did some punk steal your stuff, Bakura?" Jounouchi asks, joining the interrogation. He want's a chance to beat someone up. It makes him feel more like a man or something. I'm not so sure he would beat up Mokuba, though.

"Well, you could say that…"

"Who? I'll get it back for you," Honda offers with Jounouchi right behind him.

"Yeah, who? We've got it."

"I don't know?" I offer. Honda's face drops slightly.

"Can you point to him or something?"

I wince somewhat from nerves and shake my head again. "They, uh, they aren't here."

"You know Bakura, you don't have to defend this guy. We can get your stuff back."

I blink at Jounouchi slowly. This conversation seems to be drifting by like a dream sequence. I'm half expecting to jolt awake and find myself in my room, alarm clock buzzing faithfully. Something's just a bit unreal about Yuugi-tachi's lines, like they're reading off a script.

Or maybe I'm just delusional….

Well, they're watching me funny. I must look like I got hit hard in the head. I admit, I'm disoriented, but for once this week I don't have a headache. My vision is a bit blurred but that's only because I'm so tired. I was up yesterday trying to remember all my homework assignments.

"I just don't have my book bag, Jounouchi. Sorry."

"Well, then I'll let you borrow my pen." He announces on sudden generous inspiration. Everyone else jumps the match the offer.

"I have some paper."

"There's a spare folder in my bag."

In a few seconds I have a variety of supplies. Though I doubt we'll use be using watercolors today or markers, the items are well received. I'm not sure whether I'm amazed by Yuugi-tachi's generosity or their surplus of pens, paper, and (believe or not) five new folders. There's even a three-ring binder and two blank notebooks from Anzu, which, once you decide pink flowers on purple don't bother you, are unexpected but perfectly all right.

"Thank you very much," I mutter in awe at the bundle in my arms.

"And you can sit by Yuugi and me and borrow our notes," Anzu consoles while I just gape her. "Here, let me organize all that."

In a flash Anzu grabs everything and somehow manages to make most of it fit into the three-ring binder.

"Here's a book I finished in case sensei wants us to spend time reading. You can have it. It's good."

I nod as Honda reaches into his bag and hands me the book. I take it and place it on top of the binder, too surprised to even read the title or look at the cover.

"Wow, you guys are amazing," I praise full heartedly, looking back up at them all. "I don't know how I'm going to pay you back for this."

"Awe, don't worry about it Bakura," Yuugi grins, "What are friends for?"

"Yeah," I nod in agreement as the bell rings. I'm a bit relived now, even without my homework. I walk with Yuugi-tachi to class, more confident than before. I know I'm going to have to get my books back eventually, but this is all right for the time being.

As we sit down, Anzu ushers me to a seat near her and Yuugi. I go along with her, since I really I have no idea what I'm doing. The rest of the class files in, including Kaiba. I avoid looking at him. There are so many places I can run from him, but at school there's nowhere to go. I peek over nervously as he takes his usual seat in the corner of the room.

"Class, take out your assignments and pass them to the front."

I glumly slouch and pass up the papers from the row behind me. In the back of my mind I dimly wish one was my own. I almost have the insane desire to grab a sheet and write my name on it, but by the time this inspiration comes, all the papers are gone. I watch the teacher commence to grading as the board is unveiled and our class assignments for today are displayed. I grab Jounouchi's pen and Anzu's notebook and start copying notes.

After a few moments, I notice my handwriting looks different. I guess it's because I'm using supplies that aren't mine.

It has to be the pink tinted paper.

I scratch out a whole line of notes violently, causing Anzu to look up at me, curious. I can't tell her what I did that for. It would sound crazy to say my writing was too horrible in that line to exist. My hand has formed a mind of it's own, made a personal, new style of writing that I really don't like. Of course the characters all look normal, but that's only to the untrained eye. I can see it though. The writing is sloppy, uncoordinated. I can't fix it; I can hardly see it. I scratch out another hideous line and Yuugi turns around as well. Everyone around me is more than halfway through the notes and I'm not getting past the first eight words. Before I know it, I'm at the end of the page and turning it over to start again. Yuugi-tachi is eyeing me oddly.

Suddenly a paper falls in front of my face and my scribbling hand. I look at it and back up at the teacher who is returning homework. For a few seconds I'm too stunned to acknowledge what happened. I nervously look at the paper to see my name on top, in the proper hand.

I'm confused.

I look over the rest to see another writing which obviously is not my own. I've seen it before though. Maybe a god wrote this for me in a show in infinite pity and I recognize his or her writing from before I was born? That or I saw it in my dreams. Maybe a divinely inspired artist used the script?

No, that isn't likely. In fact I know exactly whose hand is on the paper now that I take the time to study it. The big question here is 'why'? Seto Kaiba completing my homework can't just be for condolences sake, can it? Maybe it's an apology for Mokuba's vile behavior?

I'm still puzzled by this occurrence as class continues. I look at Kaiba every now and then to make sure he's here. It cannot be my homework magically appeared with Kaiba's handwriting. I'm shocked the teacher bothered to even check it. To me his writing looks so obvious, and yet she probably didn't notice.

"Bakura-san, please pay attention. I know you must be completely shocked by your grade, but I assure you, that is a genuine hundred."

Everyone laughs politely at the teacher's jest while I blush and try to finish my neglected notes. I know it's a one hundred, but it's not _mine_.

I am once again inching through my math under what I have dubbed the homework tree. There are very few people in my part of the schoolyard. Even Yuugi-tachi is far away, but I'm not paying attention. I'm trying to understand the concept of infinity.

"Math again? Whose book are you using?"

I look up at Kaiba who has taken in upon himself to come over. I don't try to find an excuse to leave. I feel a sort of dept to him for the homework, ignoring the fact that it wasn't my fault.

"Otogi's."

"Well here, you can have yours back." I watch Kaiba as he places my book bag on the seat. For a few seconds I don't know what to say, just watch. Kaiba might as well have revealed a third working arm for how much I'm staggered but this.

"Where'd you find it?" I ask. An answer for this question isn't really needed, but it gives me something to say. I don't want to sit silently like some idiot.

"Mokuba told me. I made him hand it over before I came to school."

I nod at this, not sure of the proper thing to respond with. Maybe a thank you is in order? Somehow I can't venture to let out at least that much and I have no idea why. My mind is slowly going blank and nothing I could say could be even remotely interesting or intelligent.

See, this is exactly why I couldn't stay at Kaiba's and had to leave my books behind. It's that, Kaiba…suddenly everything's so awkward with him. I have no idea if he still cares about me like he was letting on a few days ago. Otogi would easily tell me the way to answer this would be to ask, but I doubt he realizes how hard it is. Of course it's easy to plan out exactly what you're going to do when given a chance to prove your floundering affections, but once you find yourself in the proper scenario, everything curls into a little annoying ball and refuses say a single thing. In fact, the mood takes it upon itself to steal all of your lines--your entire mental dictionary--and no matter how long you prod at it, you won't get anything back. Instead, you are left with a quick pat on the back and an optimistic wish good luck before every logical way to approach the issue and every topic to discuss dissipates and waits to see just how good you are at making all of this up on the spot.

Since I don't pride myself in a rapid change of thought, I'm stuck blurting out the first words that come to mind, no matter how random or off subject. Lucky for me, my innate sense for propriety has decided to fill the empty seat in my thinking window which Reason has so conveniently abandoned and forgotten to put the "Out to Lunch" sign over.

"Thank you, Kaiba," I say quietly, grabbing up my bag without a thought. Maybe if I don't think, I don't have to deal with the situation that is trying to tangle my would-be easy bearings.

Either the same reason Kaiba isn't moving is because he is mentally rambling, or he's actually trying to come up with something to say (which again proves his way of thinking goes a lot farther than mine on its best days).

"One question, Bakura." He says, letting me know he's going to ask and I may as well be prepared because nothing will stop it. I nod, since I'm being polite and should have the decency to hear out one question. "That lobster, does it have a name?"

It takes a few seconds longer than it ought to for me realize that no, no the lobster doesn't have a name.

And what's that got to do with anything?

"No, I, uh, never really got around to it."

"Oh," Kaiba nods. "Mokuba thinks it should have one."

"Does he?"

"Yes," Kaiba continues. "He was thinking about Kappa."

I find myself (amazing because I'm in my polite mode) frowning at this.

"No. That's a turtle's name." I almost let Kaiba say something after me, but suddenly I cut him off. "I don't think the lobster even needs a name."

Instead of glaring at the interruption, Kaiba does an odd grin-smirk. I watch it and suppose he's more used to smirking, so it infiltrates his smile.

I hope that's it.

* * *

"Well, unless you give it a name Mokuba's going to call the lobster Kappa." Seto's smirk is still there. It's taken over any other expression that might feel like intruding, being just as stubborn as he is. "Do you want to call the lobster Kappa?"

"Well, what's wrong with just 'Lobster'?" I ask, considerably more comfortable after the ride over and readjusting myself to conversation with Kaiba.

"Ask Mokuba, it was his idea."

"Well tell him it's 'The Lobster' and to leave it at that."

Kaiba grins at this, as the aforementioned lobster still hasn't shown up. "Fine, call 'The Lobster' and see if he comes. Mokuba swore he responded to Kappa."

I frown slightly at the glass. If by respond Mokuba meant he twitched an antenna, than the boy was frantically aiming for attention from the animal. I never get so desperate as to disillusion myself in the faintest impression of hope that lobsters are intelligent creatures.

_(Yeah, you don't do that _ever_, do you?)_

"Lobster!" I call into the glass, feeling considerably foolish. Can the animal even hear me? I wonder if Kaiba thinks this is really going to work. Maybe it's just amusing for him to see me try.

"Lobster!"

Suddenly, the dark crustacean crawls out from behind a rock. I smile proudly at my accomplishment and turn to Kaiba.

"See, he responds to _lobster_, so—" I stop suddenly as Kaiba obviously isn't paying attention. "Are you all right, Kaiba?"

The brunette's face is lost in thought as he watches some fixed point inside the aquarium. He doesn't seem to notice me as he commences to talk with himself, more vocally broadcasting his thoughts than anything.

"Why do you care about a _lobster_?" he asks quietly. I'm not completely certain if this question is really directed towards me, as my presence doesn't seem to be in acknowledgement.

"What?" I inquire warily. The idea to go find Mokuba and have him take care of his brother flits by. The only thing is that I have no idea where Mokuba is.

"What does the lobster do I can't?"

I find myself mentally answering this for no reason other than I have no idea what else to do. I note the lobster is less unstable and basically a predicable creature. I can't say it's any _safer_ than Kaiba, especially when irritated, but you can dodge the claws.

I quickly try to figure what to say. There is a mutual understanding that neither of us brings up the "relationship" or Kaiba's hopefully (though apparently not) absent affections. I'm clueless on how to just end this, especially because seeing Kaiba admit he cares is a secret wish I have. Kaiba is unpredictable and I have no idea how long he can carry out a plan, how long he can want something enough to try. I've told myself this is a cruel joke of his, but that's starting to look ridiculous. It can't be.

But then, I also (to contradict myself as always) feel more than willing to run right into his arms and kiss him violently to just get everything over with. I know it's a cliché that works out great in the movies when there's some kind of relationship issue. It would seem easy to just kiss and make up, to flat out give in completely. Kaiba does seem beaten up by all of this enough to insure at least some kind of positive affect. Maybe it would work and for a while we could be perfectly happy, ignoring the bony fingers sticking out of the doors to our closets, beckoning to be opened. It sounds so easy.

I decide I'm going to do something about our situation. In my mind I can see it. I play with the hazy mental images of me softly saying something--something assuring and yet informing my intent to be closer. Then, with Kaiba being fully aware of it, I'd sneak up quietly for the kiss and presto, happily ever after in under fifteen seconds.

I open my mouth to give my calm, revealing statement. At the same time I realize one of the very important niceties I've overlooked. I don't know what to say. I don't know the phrase to sum up what I want Kaiba to know while all this time is ticking away. I did have something for a brief few seconds, but it's slipped away. Now, under pressure from the clock, my mind throws out the next rational thought.

"So, Kaiba, about my homework. I recognized your handwriting."

I want to scream at whatever intelligence threw that out. Is that really the best I can come up with? It so unlike what I wanted to say.

"Why did you do it?" I ask, trying not to sigh as I realize exactly what happened. Once again, Ryou the chicken-hearted got cold feet.

"What?" Kaiba asks, coming to reality and not too sure about what I've just said. He finally sorts it out (much faster than I could have), and shrugs.

"I felt like it. Mokuba shouldn't have taken all your books in the first place," he says, the information boring and dry next to what I had been imagining to happen instead. I listen to his words and nod along.

"Thank you. It was a surprise."

A slight smirk plays on Kaiba's lips at this as though he knew this but hearing me admit it to him made it twice as amusing.

"Well, isn't life full of surprises?" he grins, his philosophical citation losing its effect in the sardonic tone.

"Um, yeah..." I mutter, once again lost. I can see the visit slowly waning as reasons for me to stay become fewer and more random. I really should be going instead of staying and indulging my fantasy in things that maybe could, but aren't going to happen. I look tensely at the door and Kaiba notices.

"I guess you ought to go, what with all the homework you have to do. And the studying you have to catch up on."

Suddenly, from the fog of my thought an inspiration storms out and jumps up and down, waving its arms wildly to make sure I know it's there.

"Can you help? I don't quite understand."

"What?"

"With my homework."

Kaiba blinks and I faintly realize my genius might be costing him some work or a meeting.

I repress this. If the work were that important Kaiba would apologize and send me on my way, even if he regretted it.

"I can," he says after thinking a moment. "What don't you understand?"

* * *

"Do you plan on studying quantum mechanics?"

I wince at the thought, "No."

"Then stop worrying about the waves. Just stick to Newton's laws. You don't need to know everything straight to the subatomic level."

I nod and decide to stop questioning the light on the sensei's diagram. I don't need to learn more than I have to. If I outthink the test I'll fail for not making sense. And anyway, those extra brain cells need to be reserved for all of the confusing mathematical formulas I might unexpectedly encounter.

"Now this is all elementary math, okay? The formula is a math problem, so treat it like one and don't be afraid to check your answer."

I nod, becoming increasingly intimidated by the negatives and positives. Sure, it would be easy to do this like your standard equation, but part of my mind wants to jump to why I come out with certain answers. That's the part confusing me. I'd pass if I stopped asking unnecessary questions.

_But Sensei, _why_ does the incline of the reflection matter? What purpose does it serve that we know this?  
__Bakura, just do the work and stop worrying about it. Are you looking to physics as a career field?  
__Er…no.  
__Then don't worry about it and finish copying the equations on the board.  
__But--  
__Bakura! Work!  
__But--  
__Work, dammit, work!_

"All right, I'm pretty sure I understand, Kaiba," I quickly lie, pushing the workbook away and closing it on an hour's worth of equations. I'd rather do algebra--all those variables without purpose other than to make the most confusing sentences you'd never think of using in real life unless your dream is to teach high school math. I'm enjoy at algebra. I have no idea how to apply it to life, but I prefer it for that reason.

"Seems all you have left is that algebra." Kaiba nods at the final textbook. "Since you're not very good with that kind of work you'll be wanting some help?"

"Yeah." I nod. That's the plan.

"Well, this _x_ variable here can be represented by negative three eights…."

I've discovered Kaiba's expressive medium: numbers. He completely lost me explaining our algebra assignment. It wasn't that he lacked confidence about the information he was handing out. No, it was worse. Kaiba understood the lesson so well, knew the sets so perfectly, that he merely assumed anyone fool could get it and was exasperated by my ability to defy his opinion.

Ryou's expressive medium: Sleep. When I'm bored I doze. I think it displays my inner disinterest, my inability to pay attention, and how strenuous it is that I listen to people rant about what I don't understand (or don't want to). My wish to be anywhere but there is represented in sleep and shows my relief at finding the escape to some dream world where I don't have to pay attention to anything but a war between dragons and large dogs which has been plaguing my thoughts for the past few days.

"Bakura, how is it possible you've survived algebra up until now? You must have gotten into the honors class somehow."

I shrug. The fact I'm in the honors class is completely beyond me. I don't think about it.

"I'm a lucky guesser? The entrance test was multiple choice."

Kaiba frowns at this and shakes his head. "That isn't it. Apparently you understand this and you don't know why. That's a little strange, Bakura. Why did you put yourself in all these classes you are now having trouble with?"

"Because I get A's and B's for some reason?" I shrug again. I was all right in the classes last year. Who said I wouldn't be again? I'm passing the tests fairly well.

Kaiba shakes his head, "You're crazy."

I don't think he realizes how true that sounds. Involuntarily, my mind jumps back to my letters and other truly insane things I've done. I try to not think about that, somehow paranoid Kaiba can read my mind and see it there on the surface. I tell myself this strange person I am is the thing keeping us apart. Every time I think about it I feel awkward and remind myself that if I consider myself to be strange and find it upsetting, then Kaiba can only take it ten times worse.

There are different ways he could take the horrible news. For example, if I showed him y old letters to no-one. How would he react? Silence is possible, a long brooding quiet and lack of connection with an unclear outcome. He could also hear me out with amusement and torture me with sarcasm and jokes on the letters. I cannot imagine anyone taking the information seriously. It's too unusual for that kind of response.

I'm deciding to still not tell him. This skeleton stays in its closet, and I have to leave before I stutter my words.

"Well, thanks for the help, Kaiba. I'll go home and work on it," I begin to excuse myself, collecting all the books and stuffing them all into my bag.

Kaiba looks at me as though wondering what he's done to invoke such a hasty departure. I try to explain myself, but it doesn't make sense. I end up sounding vague and not at all reassuring.

"I, uh, I gotta go."

I quickly grab my bag and exit the room, leaving Kaiba hurt and confused.

Sorry, Seto. I'm sorry.

* * *

"Haptics training with virtual simulation and of touch is increasing in popularity. This technology allows easier training of assembly line workers, surgeons, and aids in physical rehabilitation. Recent advancements have been…."

I take the remote and turn the television off. My apartment suddenly becomes quiet and lonelier. The air conditioner makes a vain attempt to disrupt the silence, but quickly becomes background. I mentally applaud the effort and lean back into the couch to sleep. I have failed to even take my homework out of my bag to finish it, choosing instead to sleep on the couch until I feel like putting my random thoughts to facts.

In my lap are all the letters I've written. I've been going through them and trying to demean their purpose. Maybe it would make sense if I burned them? Some funerals did that--burned paper chairs, beds, and such--a tradition much less costly than the Egyptians locking necessary afterlife treasures in tombs. Maybe subconsciously I had been planning to do just? I'd need some kind of shrine though, and I don't really know where to go or what to do when I get there. I'm not deeply religious. I will be someday, when I'm old, just not right now. I respect the practice, but you aren't going to find a tokonoma around my father's house, as he doesn't really care. I'd have to go out publicly to set fire to the papers, and I don't like that idea. Maybe letting them yellow and rot away will work? That seems to be what I'm doing.

The air conditioner sputters rudely at this and I agree. No, that isn't going to work.

_(One word: Trashcan.)_

I'm mortified by the spirit's suggestion. I am not throwing them out!

The spirit doesn't say anything else and leaves me alone. I don't know what's worse, being by myself or listening to my other self.

I look back down at my papers and shuffle everything back together. I put them in their box and take it all back to my room to decompose under my bed. I don't care if Otogi and Yuugi know it's there. I'm not going to run off and flaunt the writing, but I'm not going expect anyone to be clueless on it anymore. Who knows how well Yuugi and Otogi keep secrets?

I enter the front room again in time to hear someone knocking at the door. I sigh. Otogi would be one to show up without invitation. Still, I've admitted that his company is better than being alone all the time.

I open the door to discover not Otogi, but Kaiba looking back down at me.

"K-Kaiba, what is it?" I ask, trying to recover, "I mean, come in."

I step back and usher him into the room. I wait timidly for him to tell me why he's here.

"You left this." Kaiba holds up my physics workbook, "You haven't finished." **(A)**

I nod and he places the workbook on the table, making to leave immediately after. I suddenly feel I shouldn't let him. I always do when Kaiba goes, but usually end up watching his back before the door closes. Suddenly this tragic emotion has bribed my voice to heed it.

"Wait," I call and Kaiba patiently stops and turns around to see what I want.

"What?" he asks. He probably hoped to come over, drop my book off, and leave without any commotion. Now he's hopeful and waiting but I'm too busy gapping like a fish to swallow back my words. I notice him frown slightly and faintly motion at the door like I'm wasting his time.

"I'm going to go now," he tells me and words finally find a way out of my mouth at the sound of his voice.

"No, it just that…" I start. I have no end. He might as well walk out now while he's got the chance, before I say anything I'll regret later. Letters addressed to dead realtives flutter across my mind.

"All right, it's not important. You can go," I finally gain control of my voice. My heart is busy screaming at me.

_You come close to a confession and suddenly, "it's not important"! What kind of baka are you, Bakura Ryou? What do you mean "it's not that important"? Argh! You're impossible!_

I wince at the voice I just made up. My other self just wasn't enough; now I make my own voices.

I watch Kaiba turn and go. I clench my teeth to keep my mouth from saying anything. I have to remain in control of myself.

"Kaiba, you are not going anywhere until you help me understand just what is going on here."

My eyes widen at this before I realize it wasn't me. Standing at the door to the game room is Otogi. I really need to lock that door.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I blurt out in shock. I half expect Yuugi to jump from the closet, Jounouchi and Honda crawling under the couch, and Anzu walking out of the kitchen. I don't want to have a jury here.

"I was playing spider solitaire on the computer and couldn't help but overhear--"

I'm feeling a bit dizzy and completely uncoordinated. "How long have you been there?" I find myself asking, sounding a bit more hysterical than is truly necessary. "And spider solitaire? What, was the original not good enough for you? What's _wrong_ with you?"

The mutual feeling of shock at my randomness is so obvious that instead of being embarrassed, I'm looking at myself asking just what is wrong with that poor white haired boy in the middle of the room. Maybe he needs a few more hours of sleep and a little less caffeine.

"What's wrong with _you_?" Otogi asks, turning my own question against me, "You don't have original solitaire on your computer anyway, so don't you go off about _that_."

Poor Kaiba. He's stuck having to watch this pathetic display of two people who know each other so well it's rotting into discontent. He's probably wishing he left the first time around and pretend not to hear me in classic Kaiba manner.

"What's up with you and Kaiba anyway? That's what I came out to ask. If I had known you where going to just attack me, though, I would have stayed in the game room."

"You shouldn't even be here!" I exclaim. Otogi frowns and reaches into is pocket.

"Fine then," he says after a hesitant silence, "I can give you my key back so you don't have to worry about it."

I feel my stomach sink at Ryuuji's words. There's something horrible about him letting me have the key. I feel guilty.

"No, it's yours."

Otogi places the key down.

"Otogi…" I plea.

Kaiba, who hasn't been saying anything for the past few minutes, glares at Otogi.

"Otogi, take the key," he suddenly orders. My head twirls in confusion. Otogi is now going to talk to Kaiba and say something dreadful like before. He's going to embarrass me in my own apartment because I'm too noble to let him give up one of five matching keys to a door that, with the right force applied by someone that desperate to get in, doesn't really even need one.

"Why, Kaiba? What concern is it of yours?"

Kaiba gives Otogi a death glare, causing me to wince while hardly affecting the recipient. Maybe I'm empathetic and Otogi mentally cringed, willing to give up and just take the stupid, meaningless little key.

Please let that be it.

"Sorry, didn't catch that Kaiba. You'll have to speak up."

Kaiba's glare doesn't falter. Maybe he just sleeps angrily with his eyes open or something?

_(You know what… I'm not going to say anything about that.)_

The ability to rationalize escapes me.

"I said for you to take the key, baka," Kaiba snaps, annoyed with Otogi and showing it so much better then I ever could.

"Why? Are you not happy I'm defying Bakura?" Otogi asks. I feel the sudden urge to strangle him or turn myself into an ottoman and act like I'm not here.

Unfortunately, I'm not capable of either.

I might be able to skip to the kitchen and make some popcorn. But then, who eats popcorn during a violent, gory movie? Kaiba is obviously going to _kill_ Otogi before he leaves.

And I'll just be here: breathing, watching, waiting--passing out (hopefully).

"That really isn't any of your business," Kaiba growls.

"Nor is this key yours," Otogi comes right back.

"It is if I feel like resolving this."

Otogi smirks at Kaiba and I consider how dramatic me dying right now would be. What if I were to collapse for some reason or another? Ryou Bakura just promptly faints away into a ten-year coma.

Heh, I should be so lucky.

_(That could be arranged…)_

Never mind. I take that back. I want to stay conscious, thank you.

"And what if I choose not to listen to you?"

I sigh at how this conversation (potential argument from Hell) is turning out. How long is Otogi going to defy Kaiba? How long is Kaiba planning to be patient before somehow forcing Otogi to take the key? I realize I'm eventually going to have to intervene before my front room becomes a crime scene for the homicide department.

"Kaiba," I address, trying to keep my voice as still as possible, "Do you really want Otogi to keep the key?"

Kaiba nods, still glaring at Otogi. I walk over nervously and tap him on the shoulder. I like to know I have complete attention turned to me when I'm talking, even if it tends not to aid my confidence.

"Kaiba?" To my surprise, he turns his glare off of Otogi and looks at me. I feel my courage threatening to drop and dissipate.

"What?"

I quickly compose something to say, "It's a key, does it really matter? Don't get mad at Otogi, he's--um--difficult."

Otogi smirks at this and how serious I am sounding. I follow Kaiba's example and throw him a quick glared.

"See? He'll come and steal it back later because he likes to break in an annoy me all day. It's nothing."

Kaiba looks at Otogi once more and nods. For some reason, Otogi finds this hilarious.

"Awe, you two make such a nice couple."

That's it, arrest me now--I'm going to kill Otogi….

"Bakura." My murderous advanced towards Otogi is halted by someone's hand on my arm--more specifically, _Kaiba's _hand on my arm. I stop and turn around.

"You're right, he's difficult. You should probably take your own advice."

I blushed and nod, "Heh, yeah…." Otogi will die.

"In fact, you don't have to talk to him," Kaiba says, looking coldly up at Otogi. "Let's go."

I pause for a few seconds, unsure of what I'm hearing. Kaiba, who was perfectly willing to make himself scarce ten minutes ago, is now offering we both leave. I look at Otogi who is wearing his smug smirk. Something is working out _exactly_ as he wants it and I'm not completely sure what.

"C'mon," Kaiba ushers me towards the door, shooting a final accusing glare at Otogi. I'm too far in shock to be resisting and can only look on as I leave the apartment. The notion Otogi is going to burn the building down all by himself snatches at my thoughts. I knock it back and put in the correction. Otogi is too mature to play with the stove.

…And suddenly I'm feeling vindictive and doubting this.

My mind, busy in a netherworld of reality and escape where I can't control it, finally decides to descend back to reality as I'm outside the apartment. I suddenly wonder just what I'm doing here.

"What do you want, Kaiba?"

Kaiba shrugs as he answers my question.

"I don't know. Talk, Bakura; tell me about what you think about the things I never notice. Ask me about double doors, floor tiles, or the answer to problem 1a in calculus."

That is the most absurd, pointless thing I've ever heard come out of Seto Kaiba's mouth.

"Why?" My mind, which for a while was her, in reality, now things Kaiba was abducted by aliens.

"I like you saying that."

I try and fail to calculate the reason here. I optimistically try again. Same results.

"I don't understand. That's all nonsense."

"But it's interesting nonsense."

I stop and consider what to say, looking up at Kaiba and letting my confusion run my mouth.

"Okay, here's a thought: You're acting weird."

"Heh, sorry. I just want to hear your odd little observations. I find it appealing."

I sadly don't agree. It's pathetic. Am I sort of a jester to King Kaiba?

"I'm a crazy."

Kaiba actually has the audacity to nod at this and shrug. "You are crazy, but you're amusing. Everything annoys you in its own little way and it's damn hilarious. I like it. It's not like everyone else. Nothing seems to stay inside you for very long. All the people I'm faced with day by day are official and brusquely nervous over every minute detail. They're _boring_."

"I'm still an idiot."

"No you're not. I know true idiots and you don't qualify." Kaiba states this with a severe note in his tone. Usually I'd say he's lying to himself.

"You're lying."

"What if I am?" Again with the audacity of a shrug. If I'm useful for anything, it's a shoulder work out.

_Up, down; one two; shrug._

"Uh-huh…."

"Bakura, if you aren't going to let yourself want me, the least you can do is talk to me."

This is just the electrifying statement needed to charge my brain-train back to reality. That's sarcasm. I'm suddenly lost hopelessly.

"Kaiba…."

"Please? I'm asking you nicely enough, aren't I?"

Yes, yes you are, Kaiba. Thanks, but I'm much too busy trying to ignore my feelings for you that tend to speak up loudest when you are around. Come back later, take your time, and just hope I don't accidentally walk in front of a bus unawares whilst so preoccupied...

"I don't know what to tell you." I say this in complete truth. When someone orders 'speak,' my most formidable reply is 'what!?'. I really have no clue and coming up with something is difficult.

"_Say something, Bakura."  
_"_What?"  
_"_Anything.  
_"_Uh…. The sky is more gray than blue today."_

"Whatever's on your mind is a start." Kaiba answers, waiting patiently. If I had my way I'd be vanishing right now, or throwing puzzle pieces at Kaiba. A jigsaw is probably some deep representation of my psyche and my jumble emotions for the past few weeks. He can go through and try to put it together, but don't expect much. I've been trying this my entire life.

"Er…." I realize faintly I must have just lost my mind. If you live in your head long enough, eventually you'll make your own world and happily whisk yourself away into it at inopportune moments when things get difficult. I shouldn't let that happen right now. I shouldn't.

"We should keep walking, there's nothing inspiring around here. I see this street everyday on the way to school."

Kaiba nods at the statement and the surprising amount of rationality I've just displayed in audible speech. I know, I'm also impressed. We continue down until the park is in sight. I remember I slept here.

"Have you ever had a strange dream?" I ask finally with my new courage founded on nothing.

"No, nothing particularly interesting," Kaiba answers flatly, boringly. It's predicable. I could have bet on the answer.

"Really?" I don't intend for there to be sarcasm in my tone. "Well, I have. All about lobsters and different things. It's really crazy."

Kaiba nods. "I don't think dreams are supposed to make sense, or mean anything."

"I didn't say I did either," I defend for no real reason, "_Déjà vu_ is just some kind of mental reaction people have, and it all really doesn't mean anything. I try not to look at dreams like premonitions." **(B)**

"Congratulations."

I frown at my efforts. "You could sound less interested."

"Maybe."

So much for be interesting. He was lying. King Kaiba's jester is failing him now terribly. The only thing I'm good for now is a public execution. Crowds love those.

I sigh and look the other way. Across the street there's a restaurant. I let my attention fall on the signs advertising the names of foods I've never seen before.

This blew up, didn't it? Kaiba wanted me to talk and now I'm ashamed. I sound like some kind of imbecile rambling on about dreams and my opinion covering them. It may even look a bit self-centered. It's almost like I'm stating that though I have dreams just as confusing as everyone else's, I'm above thinking too much of them. Maybe it's a form of bragging? It would be sad if I felt I needed to raise myself up in Kaiba's presence. Like it's even possible anyways….

"Do you have any idea what an enchilada is?"

"Why?" Kaiba asks.

"That restaurant is advertising enchiladas."

"I think it's a cheese thing, some kind of taco. It's Mexican."

"I know that."

I walk towards the restaurant and Kaiba follows. We're soon reading the windows, and even Kaiba looks a bit clueless on the food they serve.

"I can't pronounce half all that," I mutter in awe. Kaiba murmurs a few of the more foreign pronunciations slowly. I listen and figure he's encountered the language before. That, or he could be saying everything entirely wrong and I'm unaware because I don't speak enough to know better.

"It's difficult to say that right; en-chi-la-da," Kaiba suddenly admits. I follow his lead and discover what I'm saving sounds like _itchy-da-da_ and noticeably wrong.

"It's more like '_en-chi-latha_'."

" '_In-chiii--lada_'."

"Speed up the 'chi' a bit, Ryou."

We coach each other over the words for the next ten minutes. The two of us must look like complete idiots, but it beats the silence. Finally we both give up and turn around. I'm suddenly more relaxed than before, probably relieved at the fact Kaiba can stand in front of a Mexican restaurant for ten minutes trying to pronounce the day specials. It makes him seem more human and maybe a bit closer to equally insane.

"You have to use your tongue more, Bakura-san. Western languages don't have pitches and are slower."

"Too slow."

"Listening to a lecture in English is boring. Spanish is quicker though."

"Then we're not alone."

"Yes, but Spanish requires a person to roll their r's to some extent."

"How do you know?"

"I took English and it has Spanish words."

"I took English too, it's sort of required."

"Well," Seto sighs, looking for an example. "The Spanish word for car."

"What about it?"

"In English you have the car, in Spanish you have _el carro_. You roll your r's at the "rr". It sounds better than 'car-oh'."

"El carwgh-o?" I attempt and fail. Kaiba smirks as I just got spit all over my face. "Okay, Sensei, how do you roll your r's?"

"Put the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth beneath the hard palate and…."

Wherever, whatever the 'hard palate' is: He's lost me. I have no idea what he's taking about. My intelligence fails at the anatomy of the mouth.

"Now try."

"I can't do it," I shake my head, admitting defeat and not bothering to try, "I just won't speak Spanish."

"You could say _coche _instead, like in the Castilian Spanish."

"No. I just lost my faith in all of it."

Kaiba can only sigh at how easily I give up. It's typical, though, isn't it? Bakura hardly tries. He hardly needs to. In fact, he hardly _wants_ to.

"So, why's Otogi got a key to your place?" Kaiba asks as we round back towards the apartment. I can see in his expression that this menial fact has been giving him trouble.

"_My dear Kaiba-san, is that jealously I see in your eyes?"  
_"_No."  
_"_Then what?"  
_"_Don't try to read people. You're terrible at it."_

Believe it or not, that sounds like something Kaiba would say if I were able to raise the proper amount of voice. He's glaring at the building as we get near and I feel an explanation is required.

"I have so many keys and it's not like he's going to burn the place down, Kaiba. He's just free to visit when he likes. I have nothing to hide from my friends."

"You're both good friends, right?" he asks flatly, still glaring at the building. This mood swing is distressing. I imagine he sees a certain dark-haired dice player in his vision.

"Yeah, we talk a lot," I shrug, hoping the casual attitude will bounce back to Kaiba and lessen whatever stress has made itself apparent.

"You two must be close…."

It took long enough, but I finally realize just what Kaiba's saying. He thinks there's something between me and Otogi--of all people! I'd laugh if he weren't so dead serious. Didn't I already explain that to him a long time ago, when we thought he liked Yuugi and I was an accessory in some win-over scheme?

"No, Kaiba! It isn't like that," I quickly jump to explain, "Really, we're just friends. Honest. I told you before."

In his own emotionless way, Kaiba looks a bit relieved. I feel likewise for some odd reason. We approach the building sans his glare. It's a good thing too, as I'm quite sure such a dark look would have destroyed my entire floor. I'm glad Kaiba doesn't have laser eyes, although it would have burned those letters up to ashes and gotten rid of them.

"You can have a key, if you want," I suddenly offer, "I have three. That's more than enough."

Kaiba looks a bit taken aback by my burst of generosity. I reach into my pocket and pull out my current key.

"I've been using this one for months, but you don't have to give it back unless I move or something. Of course, I'll have to unlock the door before it's officially yours as I doubt Otogi stayed to wait out our walk."

Kaiba still looks unsure as we climb the stairs. Frankly, I'm taking everything with a new sense of optimism. I always retreat to my happy-go-lucky mood when I have nothing left. Otogi's key bothered Kaiba, well fine; he can have one too. They're equal now.

I unlock the door and walk into the apartment, taking my shoes off and holding the shiny metal key out to Kaiba. He reaches for it and clasps my hand for a moment. I look up, surprised. There's an odd expression in his eyes. It's on the line of wistful (however wistful Kaiba could ever be) but melancholy, which is usual for him. My guilt seeps in and I look away, knowing perfectly well it's my fault.

"Thank you," Kaiba thanks with an unusual amount of sincerity before pulling his hand away and taking the key with it.

"Oh…don't mention it…" I stammer foolishly, wondering I could make myself the model of politeness all over again. Then I could ignore the new thoughts assaulting my mind. The poor little commander in charge now is trying desperately to keep emotions from knocking down the titanium-enforced door to his control station.

This mental skit leaves me feeling a bit embarrassed; perfectly certain Kaiba saw every detail through my eyes. Oh yes, the traitorous eyes that have somehow found themselves back in Kaiba's. They are terrible. In fact, Yuugi did say you could read others that way, even Kaiba to an extent. All those poor people out there, victims to the unintentional expressions reflecting what they see and think; I sympathize with them all.

"Ehem," Kaiba quickly breaks whatever just happened. I've heard a lot can be revealed and explained through eye contact. Kaiba must have too; he's nervous I'll catch something. Hell, _I'm_ nervous I'll catch something. There is a plethora of evidence telling me I've been an idiot for the past few weeks, and I don't need to be forced with any more--please.

Kaiba turns to leave. Once again something stops him, only this time it isn't me.

"We should meet again later," he suddenly tells me. Amazingly enough, I find I agree.

"Sure, that'd be nice."

Kaiba nods at my answer and continues to leave. I see him pocket the key before the door closes.

I feel like I've gone back to square one with this, I really do.

_We should meet again later._

Perhaps, Seto. Maybe this can work. Maybe I can at least pretend it does. In the end we can only try, without any sort of plan or warning about what will happen.

* * *

**Notes:**

A: Physics notebooks…. Teachers don't like grading them, so why do they bother?

B: Déjà vu really isn't all that amazing when you understand how it works out in your brain. Same for great intuition.

**Afterword:**

Ryou: You call that an ending?

Seto: What was _that_?

I know. I know. Just wait. I'll…do something…someday….

**SOMETHING, SOMEDAY, APRIL 2008: **

Uh. I edited the entire fic some from the original. Why? Finals suck and so I needed something better to do than study.

The chapter seventeen I mention is gone because my computer crashed about two years ago and I never bothered to mention it.

Uh. I'm planning to set a sequel six or seven years in the future. I'm sure all this time will only make the sequel seem that much more realistic. Yes. YOU, reader, have been questioning and wondering over Seto and Ryou for the past four-years-short-of-a-decade, just as Seto and Ryou have.

I could ramble in a long retrospective about the six years since I wrote this fic, but I'm not really that nostalgic. Life went on, and, sadly, I got no taller. That's it. I wonder if the fact that this fic mentions a VCR dates it? Ipods didn't exist when this was written, people. _Ipods_. I rocked out to a CD player while writing.

I still listen to all the same music, though. Win. Years do not change me too much.


End file.
